same old bitter things

Ugh. The “news”. If I have to hear the name Zimmerman one more freaking time. I turned my TV off today. I would watch the trial (if there is one), because I watch/follow court trials all the time and that actually means something. How much can you talk about something when you know practically nothing (other than a few things you keep repeating). Let it go.

On the other hand discussions on the “Stand your ground” law, I find interesting.

And then we have the stupid working mom stuff. This is so old…and lame. Really? Is that all people can talk about? I work. No, I work. Um, I really work. See, LAME.

I’m just going to continue reading books and making Spotify playlists (and work of course because I, like, totally work). lalalalala.

/end rant.

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To answer my own question, some Unitarian churches do talk about Jesus on Easter but they do it in a different way than say a Catholic church would. Last year this particular Unitarian church talked about the passion of Jesus. But they don’t make it a norm to talk about Jesus (or God, I think).

I’m not thinking about going to the Unitarian church this weekend. If I go out, I will probably go see The Hunger Games. I just finished reading the book yesterday. I hate when I finish reading a book and then I go see the movie right after. Why do I do that??! The whole time I’m comparing the movie to the book. But I hope The Hunger Games is different. I hope to get lost in the movie. The book wasn’t greatย  but it was a page turner. I’m guessing that the movie is much better than the book.

I went to my first yoga class at a new-to-me yoga studio. On the form I should mention that deep breathing makes me nauseous. I know the teacher can tell that I’m not breathing properly and um, can’t everyone BREATHE??! Even if a person has a problem with the poses, they can breathe right? Well not me. Too much deep breathing makes me gag. (Everything makes me nauseous. I have some weird problem).

Anyhow, the class was okay. There were two things I didn’t like:

  • The instructor didn’t do the poses in the beginning. She said, “I don’t do the poses. I just tell you what to do”. I hate that. I understand that doing the poses class after class probably sucks. On the other hand, I need to SEE the poses. Eventually she did the poses. She had 6 new people (including me) in the class so I guess she figured we would benefit from that.
  • I hated the class set up. Everyone is sort of in a rectangle. So when you look up, you are looking at someone’s face. Unlike. It was hard to be in the moment with someone in my face. LOL. I have never been to a class with this set up.

I have 3 more classes left. I am definitely going back at least once more. I like the instructor. The people were…people. ๐Ÿ˜‰ One interesting thing about this studio is no mats are needed. The floor is nice and soft. I will still probably take my mat but I didn’t always use it the last time I was there.

I just don’t want to offend anyone. Did me not smiling or breathing (properly) put the instructor off in anyway? When she asked me if Iย  enjoyed myself, I could tell she didn’t believe my answer. I’m often worried that my unfriendly demeanor offends people. That is one of the main reasons why I don’t do stuff that involves other people. Some people don’t care. (I LOVE these people -heh). But I see too many people take my anxiousness personally. That bothers me. I would rather just not go out.

I could do a whole blog post on that. Maybe I will.

always been a quitter

I’m in love with my Kindle. I’m going to blog about it two days in a row. I found something even more dangerous than books….APPS! I didn’t know the Kindle Keyboard AKA Kindle 3 had apps. I brought 4 yesterday. 3 were .99 and 1 was 1.99. I didn’t go to nuts. The best one is the calender because the two days before I got the Kindle, I was searching everywhere for an electronic scheduler/calender. Everything came back to “get a smartphone”. LOL. Well I can’t afford a smart phone with the monthly payments. So I started looking for PDAs. How old school is that? I was desperate. ๐Ÿ˜‰

The second best app is the notepad. Everything below the line in this post is what I typed during my lunch break, using the notepad app. Love it. I got it for doing my grocery lists. But now I can quickly blog anytime I want. I also brought Scrabble and a yoga app.

When I said the Kindle 3 was a tad slow, I was referring to going to websites. Of course it is slow. Mine doesn’t have 3G! This probably won’t be my last Kindle post. It seems like everyone got a kindle or nook for Xmas. Yay for e-readers!

One bad thing: I broke down and brought a cover for my kindle. $30. THEN I found a headphone case that fits my Kindle perfectly!!! UGH! Amazon already shipped the cover so I’m going to keep it but I really wished I would have realized that my kindle could fit into the damn headphone case. I just don’t want to scratch the screen. I don’t need anything fancy. Oh well.

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(This is what I typed during lunch after reading a chapter from a 3D book).

If I quit my job, it might seem brave to others but I’m a known quitter. I give up when I know I can’t succeed. I didn’t join the army because I knew I would not pass basic training. I don’t regret this because I know I would have failed that. Even today I’m 100% sure that I couldn’t have done it. For a perpetually confused person, I know some things about myself. I know what I can do and can’t do.

I do runaway a lot though. I’m the queen of avoidance. That is my form of quitting. So if I quit my job, I would be giving into avoidance. That is not the only reason why I haven’t quit though. The real reason (besides basic fear) is social anxiety and what would I do next? it isn’t like I have some secret dream job. I don’t have any talent. Etc. etc, I mean I have a ton of interests but that is it. And most of the things I would really consider pays near minimum wage or less than what I make now. An example would be a job working with animals I’ve done my research on the pay of those jobs.

So yes I currently hate my job – except when I can do it alone in a quiet room. I dread getting up in the morning. My work and life is suffering. But at this point, I don’t think quitting is the answer.

——————–

I went to yoga yesterday. We had the regular teacher back. I was not impressed. Plus her class was too beginner…even for me. The teacher also said, “I feel like I’mย  teaching an advanced class” so I wasn’t the only one in the wrong place. I’ve taken 3 classes at this gym for $20. I’ve gotten my money’s worth. I don’t know what I will do next. Everyone says beginning yoga lasts for a year…at least. Well not at this gym. If I can find a good time for “fitness yoga”, I would like to try that. I bet that is challenging.

Swingin’

I went to a yoga beginner’s class after work. YES! That is where I should be. It was so awesome even though I messed up a few times. I’m not good at following verbal directions. And my scoliosis definitely affects one yoga pose. I can’t even do it in a beginner’s class. I don’t even know the name of the pose. I just know that everyone else can do it in every class I’ve been in. Btw, my favorite pose is child pose. ๐Ÿ˜‰ I could do that for an hour.

Too bad I’m not a member of that gym. I brought the classes for really cheap from Groupon. I think I have 18 classes OR 6 weeks left. I wish they would let me use all my 18 classes at my pace. There is no way I’m doing 18 classes in 6 weeks. If the gym weren’t so far away, I might set that as a goal. But I’m only going there once a week.

Back to this awesome class: I’m so glad it is on Mondays at a good time. A perfect way to start the week. I do plan to go back on next Monday. (and all Mondays until my ‘membership’ expires). I’m so glad I’m comfortable enough with a class to want to go back. Now if I could only find a beginner’s pilates class..Anyhow, I’m starting to get some of the poses down. That is what I need before I jump into regular yoga.

I love that gym. Me want one near me. But…it is really not financially smart to join any gym when I have access to a free gym at work. (The gym at work doesn’t offer yoga or pilates though).

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I mentioned that I would be during the Happiness Project during 2012. I’m on page 107 of the book and I’ve decided it is not for me. It is a great idea/book/website. It just isn’t where I am now. Instead of having a goal for each month, I need to focus on the basics. I can’t do it that way.

Anyhow, I’m currently working on health/diet. These are the things I need to focus on:

1. health/diet/learning to cook

2. saving money for a down payment on a house

3. Paying off debt (kind of contradicts #2)

4. Selling my house (the horror – I hate the thought of this. This also costs money. contradicts #2 and 3).

5. Getting organized (much easier since I no longer live at my cluttered house).

6. Make friends or a friend. STOP THE M$%##F$%%^ PRESS!

Okay, so all the research says you have to have friends. HAVE TO. So like, maybe I’ll like totally try the friend thing??!

I don’t think it is possible. That’s the attitude! I’ve been thinking about it a lot over the weekend. I like staying at home except when I’m traveling. I don’t want to go anywhere with anyone. I like reading, listening to music, keeping up with politics, nature and watching sports. All of those things I can do alone. I don’t see how friends or a friend would fit into my life. It would have to happen naturally. The only thing I know for sure is that I need someone with SOME of my interests. I’ve learned that through experiences with coworkers.

I can’t do the friend thing in a month hence the passing on the happiness project. That may not even happen in 2012. And I’m the luckiest girl in the world if I can get someone to buy my house in 2012. PLEASE let that happen. How else am I going to save money??

I’m going to open a special down payment savings account this week. I have an ER fund. There isn’t much in there but it exists. I have decided to use my other savings for college expenses. (only two more classes left but one is $740!). I need to pay off debt so I can get a better deal on a mortgage. The ‘new’ car doesn’t help me at all. It is more debt. ๐Ÿ˜ฆ I love my car but I wasn’t thinking of it in terms of a house. Not that I thought about much at all. FUCK.

Sorry. Story of my life. The above is the closest you’ll see as far as “new year’s resolutions” go. I don’t do those.

Fart in public

I don’t know who said this. I used to collect quotes. One of the quotes was, “You must be willing to fart in public”. As in, you must be willing to make mistakes in public. I -years ago- took this literally. I know TMI, right? ROFL. Enough of that.

I went to my hot yoga class on Friday. I did something really stupid beforehand. I was early so instead of waiting in the car, I decided to go to a grocery store I’d never been in before. MISTAKE. They have this great salad bar and I can’t deny a salad bar. I got tuna salad, chicken salad, macaroni salad, and banana pudding. I ate most of it 30 minutes before class! How dumb is that? But I didn’t fart in class. I did feel a little full but I don’t think it affected the class.

Hot yoga went okay. I would go back. But I don’t think yoga is for me. Well it could be…but I’m sick of the instructors saying, “—– pose” as if I should know. SHOW ME! I do know mountain pose, downward dog and most of the warrior poses. That is about it. So the whole time I’m trying to get it and not look like an idiot. It’s starting to seem pointless.On the other hand, I like yoga. I guess I just need to memorize the names with the poses. I have to know the basic poses plus more immediate ones. Sigh. I have a horrible memory. I’m surprised I still remember the warrior poses. Thanks to my first yoga instructor for drilling that into me.

The heat wasn’t that bad. It was about 105 degrees. I have never sweated that much in public before. I remember when I was in high school. I was so scared. I used to stand as still as a stick and I would always wear a jacket – no matter how hot it was. The jacket was my security blanket. The kids would come up to me and say, “You don’t sweat, do you?” I would say “no”. I was never much of a talker. The kids said other things too but whatever.

Back to the teacher: He was hot! Oh god. He helped me position my mat before class and he caressed my back. Thanks so much for that. Is this starting to sound creepy? Heh, I can’t help it. Seriously he was an encouraging instructor but since there were so many people in this free class, he couldn’t focus on everyone. He did spend a lot of time with two people. One was an elderly guy and the other guy had never done any yoga.

Groupon and Living Social are giving away discounts to gyms like crazy. I guess this is gym time! (O god – new year resolutions %^$#). Anyhow, I brought a groupon for 20 group classes. Um, I wish I would have googled how far this place was before I brought the coupon. It’s 30 minutes away! That’s too far for me. But I will go once a week for……………PILATES!!!!!!!!! Finally. I have never taken a pilates class so I’m excited. I have done it by following a DVD and what a great workout.

Pilates will start next Wednesday after work. If the gym was closer I would try their yoga but ugh,  I’m not driving back and forth to that gym. Thanks Groupon! ๐Ÿ™‚

Exercising isn’t the only thing I’m doing. I must eat healthier. The problem is that I don’t cook. That is huge. In order to eat healthy you must cook and uh,  I suck at it. I can bake and that’s it. I have tried. I have the best beginner’s cookbook and I still can’t get it down. It is like reading a foreign language. Do what to what? With what? It doesn’t make sense to me. Obviously I did not grow up in a cooking household.

I’m thinking about taking a cooking class ASAP. I’m really busy this month. In fact next weekend, I’m taking my mom to Virginia Beach for a work thing. I hope the hotel is a suite. ๐Ÿ˜‰ I booked it but some places say “suite” when they just mean you get a kitchen. Big whoop. My mom and I are both spoiled when it comes to hotels these days. Whenever we go anywhere we want a suite. We used to gladly share rooms. Anyhow, I also have my final this month. I need to find out when. Yeah.

Back to this eating thing: I checked out the following books from the library today:

The Metabolism Advantage
The 17 Day Diet
Atkins for Life
The 35 Plus Diet for Women (No I’m not 35 years old…yet! You can never start too early)
The New Rules of Lifting for Women

I’m the most excited about the lifting book. DIEting is boring. It is the four letter word. But exercise can be fun. I did a lot of research on which books to get. Well I picked up the Atkins diet book on a whim. I had to get one of the famous diet books. When I was checking out, the guy told me about how bad the Atkins diet was. Um, yeah…so why do you think I checked out soooooo many books??! I’m going to make up my own “diet” by using all of the information from my research. There is no way, I’m doing the Atkins thing 100%. I like and will continue to eat carbs.

I’m supposed to be studying for my final. LOL. Instead I’m going to go through all these books and try to make some kind of grocery list. This should be interesting. I will report back here if I get anywhere.

Weightless

(First I created a facebook account for this blog. Well it is a profile, not a page.ย  Unlike on Twitter, I will add anyone who adds me. I’m not sure how long before facebook deletes my account when they realize I have more than one but I’ll give it a go. My name is Lindz Haq on facebook. Here is a link to my profile)

I guess I’m going to a yoga class on Friday. IT’S FREE! I’m so glad I check the local bargains website last night. They only offer hot yoga. So I yeah, I’m going to try that. It isn’t the famous Bikram Yoga, just regular heated yoga. I’m nervous, of course! One thing that calms me down is that I will never see these folks again. ๐Ÿ˜‰ If I suck, so what? It’s not like I’m making a commitment.

Hot Yoga is a series of yoga poses done in a heated room. The room is usually maintained at a temperature of 95-100 degrees. As you can imagine, a vigorous yoga session at this temperature promotes profuse sweating and makes the body very warm, and therefore more flexible.

The worst thing that could happen is that I fall in love with heated yoga. haha. Their rate is $99 a month if you want to commit. Ouch!ย  They do have meditation classes. I am very interested in that. I’ve been using a decent meditation CD recently. (link later – after I’m done). But meditating with a class sounds better. It could also be nerve racking…what if my stomach keeps growling. What if I’m self conscious? Oh dear, stop thinking!

Due to the car drama, I’m trying to find cheaper things to do. I’m not planning on taking the metal jewelry making class. It sounds awesome. I would get a chance to learn how to use aย  torch to make jewelry. Instead I’m going to take a beginner’s jewelry class just to rebuild my skills.ย  There will be no torches or saws. I used to know how to do all this stuff with my eyes clothes but I stopped doing it and my skills are rusty.

I feel bad about dropping my college class but I hate debt and want to pay off my car repair bill before I take a class this summer. In the meantime I will look for free or discounted yoga classes. I would take pilates too but I can’t find anything cheap. Anyhowย  I’ll take one day jewelry workshops instead of an 8 week jewelry making class.

People say, “What’s the rush?” But then they say, “You can die anytime”. So what am I supposed to do? Just wait until I have enough money…what if that never happens? That means I’ll never travel or take an expensive class. I have this intense need in me to do things NOW. I want to go on my Carolina road trip this summer. ๐Ÿ˜ฆ I already had the hotels picked out. I’m missing something that wasn’t meant to be…I guess.

Why are things so unreachable….I’ve done nothing (besides school) my whole life. I feel like I’m always delaying. And delaying. When am I ever going to live? It’s like I’m going backwards. I really think this is because I don’t have friends. If I had friends, I could get advice. I wouldn’t have done A or B. I could split the travel costs with someone. Living this way is very hard and I would not recommend it.

Even without social anxiety, I’m 100% sure I would still be a loner. But I would probably have facebook friends or something. I dunno. I just think my life is proof that life fails without friends.

I’m sorry for this uplifting post.

hit the lights

Final thoughts on my latest yoga class:

I did like the lights being turned off the whole time, meditative music playing, the good smelling lotion she spread on us as we were relaxing and she gave some helpful modifications on some poses. I already stated what I didn’t like but I also hated the mirrors all around the room. Annoying!

I also learned that it is best to remember/practice the basic poses. I only have the child pose completely down. lol. I am also decent with the warrior poses since I have done those in every yoga class I’ve been to (4). Plus I have practiced those at home.
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Moving.

Well it if is up to my mom, I’m moving sooner rather than later. If only this were her life. ๐Ÿ˜‰ She is ready for me to move in with her now. Like tomorrow. haha. So I’m just supposed to abandon my house in this bad neighborhood. ๐Ÿ˜ฆ I’ve seen what happened to other houses. THAT IS ONE THING MY MOM DOESN’T GET. Hello? Just leave. um, what?!

My cat is another big issue.

How am I supposed to get rid of the house? HELLO? Am I the only person seeing these issues? So if/when I move to my mom’s, I would still have to pay the bank off until someone or something buys it. That also means that I can’t save for a down payment on my “dream townhouse”. I would give the bank all the money I save while living with my mom (I still may try to fix some things inside the house.).

I don’t know how much I would save by living with my mom. I don’t have a budget (!) so I’m guessing at least $300 a month. That includes electricity, gas, water, cable, and the alarm system that doesn’t work. Uh, $300 a month is not a lot to save. That is what I get for living within my means. So I will only be able to send the bank an extra $300 a month. That’s lame. But it is something. My point is that it will take forever to pay off the bank/save for a down payment as long as I’m still paying a mortgage. I really have to get a person or company to buy the house ASAP. I know it will be for a great lost but I give up.

I don’t know. I want to at least double down on my mortgage. I still may be able to do that if I actually did a budget. I have no clue how much is going out. (Denial!)

I’m very thankful for this opportunity. I would be stuck here forever without my mom’s help. I just have to be the logical thinker. Just moving isn’t the answer.

Most importantly, I’m glad to have income coming in or I wouldn’t be able to do anything!

I blogged about this to explain how the hell I might be moving.

Yoga class # 4 (in a new-to-me studio)

1. I was in the front.

2. The instructor wasn’t fond of new students.

Do I have to say how this class went? Yeah, it kinda sucked. I did get about 5 minutes of relaxation. That’s it. I love that part at the end of class.

I was in the front by mistake. I was one of the 1st to get there. And even when people came into the studio, I couldn’t tell where the front was. I had plenty of time to move…if only I had known. The worst thing for a new yogi is to be in the front. I could barely see her. PLUS she wasn’t gearing this class to new people. I think I was the only new person in the class.

I don’t know about going back. I paid $20 for 20 classes of yoga and/or Zumba. (Great deal!) I think I’m going to Zumba on Tuesday after work. I’ve been against Zumba because…well it isn’t yoga. And I don’t think dancing in groups is fun but it is a workout. So why not try at least one class? Basically my options are either yoga at 8AM on Saturday or Zumba once a week. I’m not going back to the Thursday class. The time is horrible plus I feel like the teacher may roll her eyes when she sees me. I REALLY sucked. ๐Ÿ˜‰

She doesn’t like/want new students so she’s out.

Instructor: Are you new to yoga?
class member: No
Instructor: Good!

I was so glad she didn’t ask me. I’ll figure out something. No big deal. I hope I like zumba…
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Work is sucking. Big time. I’m trying new things to make it work. Sigh.

I’m sorry I’m depressed. I’m very sorry I have anxiety issues. I wish I could just leave it at home and not have it affect anyone.

A and J aren’t just “mean girls” to me. (And no that doesn’t make me feel better). They have a new target now. They used to hide their disdain but now they are vocal about it. It bothers me so much. I try not to get emotional about it but they are just mean. I guess they can’t be happy. No one happy is that vile to people who aren’t harming them.

J burst out laughing at me today. Bitch. ๐Ÿ™‚
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Following up on my last entry, I don’t think it is the Abilify that is making me irritable. I’m finally on an everyday schedule.

Another thing from my last entry: Calling my sister normal was not an insult. I envy a lot of these people. It is a compliment. To me, it means they can get by in the world in a way I can’t. etc

Best Thing I Never Had

I really hope everything at Virginia Tech is okay.

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I found out 24 hours ago that the discounted gym will not be offering yoga or pilates this fall. What a joke. I’m glad I don’t pay for membership. I’d want my money back or I’d stop paying. The problem I have is with what they are offering. This will be full or generalizations and stereotypes. This is a warning. I don’t fit the stereotypical female when it comes to everyday life*….However, the classes they are offering are all “athletic” and weight lifting. Um, how many females do you think are going to enroll?

*there is nothing wrong with that, of course. it just isn’t me.

I go to the gym. It is almost always 50/50 (men/women – of course). But maybe yoga didn’t bring the $$$ in. Or maybe they only offer it during certain times of the year. I don’t know. I just know that I have ZERO interest in abs, weight lifting, athletic training….even kickboxing isn’t my thing.

I’m so disappointed and sort of shocked. I would even take an aerobics class at this point. LOL. There is nothing for me. Today I came to the conclusion that I kind of want a class to go to. Not a college class but a workout class. I don’t have to talk (at least so far I haven’t had to do chit chat). I don’t know………..

The place where I took my last 3 yoga classes, starts enrollment again in September. IF I can work overtime I might consider that. $150 a month for yoga??? Are you serious? Since I have taken yoga in person, I should be able to follow a DVD. I’ll see if I can book the studio at the gym (free) on the weekends for that. It is always empty when I check.
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This Saturday I’m going to work. Unfortunately it won’t all be OT because I left work early one day this week so I have to make up that. As far as we know overtime is available only for **this** week so I can’t say, “I’ll work next week too” or the week after etc. I think I’m looking at about 6 hours of work on Saturday. 3 of that will be OT. I have never done 6 hours of work on a Saturday. I get so bored. I want to pluck my eyes out. I’m pathetic I know.

On Sunday I have to mow my lawn. Great exercise. Yipee.

Drums Please!

It is hot.
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Total yayness! The gym obtained permission from my “physician” (haha) to participate in classes at the gym. YAY. ๐Ÿ™‚ ๐Ÿ™‚ ๐Ÿ™‚ ๐Ÿ™‚

Getting that email was the highlight of my day. The more I think of my plan for starting the yoga + pilates (yogalates) class, the more it doesn’t make sense. I went to the gym to find out when the fall classes start. He couldn’t give me an exact date. It is in August. But I can start taking yogalates now. But I don’t wanna be the new girl. On the other hand, there is no guarantee that waiting until August will bring new people to the class. It could be the same people. I do save money by waiting. If I start now I have to pay class by class. It is cheap but….

So I think I’m going to wait. I also found out they offer a power yoga class. (All these different types of yoga!) I can only sign up for one class or pay double. The word POWER scares me so I think I will start with yogalates and if I don’t like that…

I will try to find something I like. They offer free cardio type classes. I need a class. I don’t have room at my house to exercise. I sometimes do dance exercises when I’m at mom’s house. But she doesn’t have enough room for me to do yoga in front of the TV either. I tried a standing pose and hit the ceiling fan. ๐Ÿ˜‰ oops.
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I only blog about yoga these days. Ha. I’m not done. I had my last yoga class yesterday. I was 3-5 minutes LATE! I hate that road. It is a one way road. I’m not used to that. Plus, I have to park away from the building then walk there. But the good thing is that I managed to sit in the back of the room!!!!! Thank the Buddha. I think that spot was left open because it was near the equipment.

Anyhow, the instructor mismanaged the time and had to rush my favorite part: the end. So that was a bummer. The end of the class is very relaxing. I enjoyed my time at the yoga studio (3 classes). But I don’t feel like I’m really going to miss it but who knows? I hope it isn’t laziness, social anxiety, or depression. I don’t think it’s laziness (in this case)…or depression. The social anxiety is always there. GO AWAY! Since I was late, I almost didn’t go to the class . In the past I would have just gone home….because who wants to walk into a class late? Being on Zoloft has helped some. Not enough obviously. There isn’t a magic drug for SA. I wish!
____________________________

Tonight I’m going to do something other than listen to music (Thanks so much!). When I get new music, I listen to it nonstop. I haven’t done that in a long time. I think I will watch Hurt Locker or Black Swan tonight. I’m not sure about the volunteer teaching thing but I think I will do a rรฉsumรฉ for it just for fun. (Geek alert! I like doing that stuff.) That should be interesting since I have ZERO experience with kids since I tutored while I was in sixth grade. LOL. I’ll blog more about this since I don’t have any scheduled yoga coming up.

Next week I have to pay a lot of dough for my fall class. Yipee. ๐Ÿ˜‰

Things I Never Needed

People who are outraged at the Casey Anthony verdict must not believe in karma….at all. It always amazes me how many people really don’t believe in it. People that do aren’t vindictive. They know people will get what is coming to them. There is no reason to wish harm on someone (that is probably bad karma…lol). There aren’t many things I believe in but karma is so obvious that I can’t help but believe in it.

I can’t wait for the media to stop talking about the case. Yes, pass Caylee’s Law but they need to put an age limit in. It takes a lot for police to get worked up over a 16 year old missing for 24 hours unless foul play is suspected. Although I guess people just want it reported. I’ve heard too much about police rolling their eyes over a missing “runaway”. In hindsight, “Caylee’s Law” seems like an obvious law. Doesn’t it?
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I’m having a consultation on house maintenance tomorrow. This is another reason why I want to live in an apartment. Then maybe after the outdoor stuff gets fixed, I can get a working refrigerator! Instead of eating ONLY canned food (high in sodium), I’ve been eating beef daily. I’m so not used to that but I bet it is better than eating processed food 24/7.

Last night was strange. At 10PM, there was a shoot out. I know they aren’t using real guns because I know what a real gun sounds like…and I think the police would have came by. It was so loud and obnoxious. It would have been funny if I weren’t paralyzed by fear. That is the problem. Right now I’m typing slowly because I don’t know when the next thing will go off. It’s hard to explain. Basically after a certain time, I don’t move in my house. The problem is that I’m a night person and get stuff done at night.

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I’m going to yoga after work tomorrow. I’m scared…not terrified but definitely scared. If this were a 1st or 2nd class, I’d be more excited than scared. But it is probably her 4th class and the instructor will want to move quickly through the basic poses. I just hope the class is small. (less than 6 people). The night classes are packed! As I was leaving, there were so many people there. They were talking. GASP! Yeah, I think I will only do two more classes there and then try to get started doing yoga/pilates at work. It is cheaper. The studio at work has mirrors all around the room. I hope that doesn’t freak me out too much.

I just need a doctor’s note before the first class. That sounds easy but I don’t have a doctor (again). I’ll figure something out once I know when the classes start.

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I’ve been so blah lately that I’ve been thinking about going to school in the fall. If I do, it will only be one class. I just think I might regret not taking something during the middle of the semester. I dunno.