A cause for celebration



I can’t remember the last time I felt such pure joy. I’m going to be working from home. SOON. Soon as in two weeks or less!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Sorry. I actually smiled at my desk for the first time in a long time. Then I went into the bathroom and jumped up and down. πŸ™‚ What happened today? After all, I already said I was going to be working from home. I got some equipment today. Not my computer or printer. Something awesome. I really can’t say because it is a unique thing for our company. I am guarding that thing more than my life. I can’t believe this…………..any of this.

Total yayness!!

There are concerns. And I know life won’t be awesome (LOL) just because I’m working from home. I’m not that naive. But the work related concerns have to do with the internet. My router is downstairs. I’m working upstairs, far away from the router. Will I have to call the ISP to install anything? Will that hold up things up? Sigh. These are things I don’t know. And I don’t know how I am supposed to know them until I get all the equipment. By then it will be too late. And I could end up going home and then having to spend a day or two working AT work. (The horror!)

Oh well. Now I have to clean my house – never ending process – and my desk/office area. The office area is nothing compared to my house. I really have to buckle down and clean it. Otherwise how will I ever sell it? Sigh. Double sigh. %^#$

I’ve been rethinking the whole buying a townhouse thing. I know I can’t stand noise. It literally drives me crazy. NO it isn’t that I don’t like noise. I’m neurotic about it. Plus I happen to like my privacy. So why am I considering a townhouse? Of course there are benefits to a townhouse. I could get a really nice looking place with new appliances for a good price. Plus I wouldn’t have to worry about snow in the parking lot. Not that we have had any snow this year. It was 70 degrees yesterday.

I’m seriously thinking about moving to the country. That is my dream. HOWEVER, it is insane. I’m not going to be working at this company forever. What if I have to get a job in the city? How much gas will that be? What if all my money goes there? Plus there is car maintenance. Another drawback is the weather and I’m not talking just snow. What about the hurricanes? When they lose power, sometimes they don’t get it back for weeks. Once it was MONTHS. The biggest issue is really the job/driving into the city thing.

But wouldn’t it be great?? I could get 2-5 acres of land and a tiny house (heh) for the price of a nice townhouse. NO NEIGHBORS. My own driveway. The life. But how can I ever justify the job thing??? I’m really concerned with being stuck an hour away from the city. I already made one buying a house mistake. I can’t make another. And how patient are employers going to be when I say, “We still have snow out here. No plows have come and I live on a hill“. My current employer wouldn’t give a damn. I would be out of a job. In the city, you know that eventually the roads will be cleared.

The conclusion might be to try to find a private space in the city. But that won’t be easy. And I know from previous experience that a realtor won’t want to spend weeks or months looking for the perfect private house since I won’t be spending a lot of money. They want commission and I’m not giving them much.

I’ve been ruminating over this, probably too much. I was so sure about the townhouse but now I’m starting to question everything. How could I possibly think I could live there. Should I give it a chance? See, the questions never stop. When it isn’t social anxiety, it is anxiety about cleaning my house and where will I move?

Here is a house I’ve been obsessing over. It was built in 1999. 3 bedrooms and 2 baths. It is perfect for me because I love nature. I would have my own creek!!! And lake. It is within my budget. The house is small compared to all the land that comes with it. House is 1400 sq feet (big for me!) and 2.5 acres of land.

view of lake from patio
my very own creek?

Helena Beat

I’m off tomorrow. Yay! But with all of this stuff going on, I sort of wish I was working. I just need access to my work email since I WILL BE working from home in 5-6 weeks. I am choosing to say “will be” because I do believe your thoughts control your destiny. (That’s tough with depression but anyway…) I refuse to believe that this will fall through. So in this post I will act as if.

I was HAPPY when I found out. So freakin’ happy. You have no idea what a relief this is. I have to talk about the negative things for one second. Mentally that place is killing me. It is getting worse daily.

Positive things about working from home:

*I’m looking forward to taking less medicine. Without working around people, I won’t need to take my anxiety meds. I can skip it like I do on the weekends. Yes! Less money spent on medicine and also saving trips to the pharmacy. I will continue to take my anti-depressant, of course.

*I get to eat a healthy breakfast. Yogurt and fruit. I don’t eat a real breakfast now for many reasons (time, nausea etc.)

*Hopefully I get to have a nice office. My office will be in my bedroom and it needs a lot of work but with the help of my mom, I think we can fix up my old desk. I brought that desk for about $500, 10 years ago just to build credit. Right now I have a TV on it and a bunch of junk. It is unusable as a desk as of today.

*No more BS. OMG! This is supposed to be positive. But I dread going into that office 90% of the time. It wasn’t always like that.

*I get to save money by saving gas, not buying clothes, and not needing to fill my prescriptions as often.

*Right now we have no overtime. 😦 But if we ever get it back, I will do at least 8 hours a week. (if allowed). I will use all this money for putting my house on the market/saving a down payment.

*I’m confident I will work better. I know I will work faster. I always work faster alone but I’m also trying to get better. I have a hard time concentrating in my current work environment.

*No &%^ing people. πŸ™‚

*I get to watch Morning Joe (MSNBC 6AM-9AM EST) every morning. That is the best news show on TV. If you haven’t watched it, do yourself a favor.

*I can listen to any music or podcast I want without having to worry about whether the person in the next cubicle can hear it.

*I will look forward to getting out of the house more and yes, even being around people. There is a volunteer opportunity involving animals that I’m interested in. I’m calling them next week.

I can probably go on. There will be things I miss…like the building. LOL. I love that building. πŸ™‚ I will still go there to workout occasionally but it won’t be the same.

I’m so thankful. I feel so blessed for this opportunity. I just need to get through these days. There have been so many times during the past 3-4 months when I wanted to give a two week notice. Basically working at home will save my health. The End.