I hate Bank of America

I’ve been so freaking busy. I’m burned out. Sigh. And Bank of America is evil.

Other than that, things are going great. :/ I’m thinking about leaving my full-time job and working on my biz PLUS being a virtual assistant. I’m better behind the scenes. I want to work for other people’s business. I want to help them build it.

I don’t think I mentioned this here, but a month ago, I started volunteering at an animal shelter in New York. Yes, I work virtually. I answer customer inquiries on Instagram. It’s very easy. You know what the hardest thing is? Seeing all those dogs, I can’t adopt. 😦 I could never do this with a local animal shelter. Not that I can afford another dog. But it’s still tempting.

ANYWAY, if I had $3,000 in my emergency savings, I would quit my full-time job. I know 3K isn’t a lot. I think I have about $40 – $50 in my ER savings. Not sure. I don’t like to keep checking. So…not quitting now. January is always the most stressful time at my job. I’ve been working extra hours for free. However, I’m not working AT ALL this weekend. YAY!

I need to work on my biz. I’m launching a mini class on January 20th. Despite being tired as shit and having no energy. I would be thrilled if I made $100 from this launch, but I have no expectations.

I’m jumping all over the place. Ha. Okay. I want to quit my job and work for myself. The end.

Oh, and Bank of America truly sucks. I will go into more detail if they report me to collections. I was scammed! I filed a police report. I completed an affidavit. They don’t care. They want $900 by January 28. Guess what? I don’t have it. I’m 90% sure they will report me. I won’t be able to open a checking account elsewhere for FIVE YEARS. So that’s why I opened a new checking account this week.

That’s basically it. I won’t have more to say about that bank until after January 28th.

Doesn’t 2020 suck so far? My god. WTF? Hit the reset button.

This week I…

Music of the week: H.E.R, Alessia Cara, Ed Sheeran, Lake Street Drive, Ariana Grande, James Arthur, Lissie, Marren Morris

TV of the week:  This Is Us, RHoC

Podcasts of the week:  The Water Trio, So You Wanna Be a Witch, Crimelines, Dateline, True Crime Garage

Books of the week:

I finished Take Control of Your Life: How to Silence Fear and Win the Mental Game by Mel Robbins. A+ Five Stars. Whatevs.

Now reading –

Weekend Plans: I’m going grocery shopping tomorrow. My dad gave me money last time, so I got to buy turkey burgers and other things I haven’t been able to buy. I still have to do my grocery list. It’s going to be so warm this weekend. Yay! I’m not really taken advantage of it. Should I take my dog to the park on Sunday? Sigh. It depends on how far I get on stuff. My dog was so bad at the grooming place! I took him to a “bathing station” last weekend. It was $10. He was so scared. 😦 He was growling at the water and trying to eat it. I felt bad. But at least he got a bath!

I’ll try to blog weekly. Thanks for reading! Have a great weekend. 🙂

 

I walk alone

Um, shit has happened since I’ve done a real post.  I’m sure this is all standard stuff that happens to everyone. I was scammed out of $1,002, BUT I only had $100 in my checking account, so the bank wants the other $905! Needless to say, I don’t have it. I will call tomorrow to make sure they don’t really want the $4,500, which is really the total amount I was scammed out of.

However, only the $1000 check was cashed, so I doubt I have to pay the other $3,500, but I’m getting mixed messages. I can pay the bank back anywhere from $75 to $150 a month. Sigh. And these aren’t the only issues I’m having about money. I have to call TWO banks tomorrow.

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I would be foolish not to ask for money if anyone has the resources and is feeling generous. So here’s my Paypal link if you want to donate. Thank you!

HAPPY NEW YEAR! 🙂

Work sucks because I didn’t meet my quota for December. Major bummer.  I’m off until Thursday. Right now, I’m more worried about money. So I spend 70% of my time worrying about money on my vacation. And the other 30% stressing about work.

I was invited to apply for a part-time job. Since it was an invite, I think there is a chance of an interview. I asked for $25 an hour. Should have asked for their minium, which was $20 per hour. Whatever. I hope I find something in January, so I can pay the bank back and other bills. :/

What I’m leaving behind in 2019 are payment plans. If I can’t afford the whole price, I’m not buying. That’s the most important thing I learned this year. Plus, they tack on a fee for people without resources. It’s funny people with money get a discount! What kind of sense does that make? Only in capitalism would people just accept this bullshit.

Well, that’s fine. I won’t be doing payment plans for anything except a house and a car.

2020 goals? I haven’t written them down yet, so this is my first take on them.

  • Make $12,000 in sales with my business
  • Take a Kundalini yoga class
  • Go on a vacay for my birthday
  • Make the goal at work
  • Have an organized space
  • Have a decent ER fund (probably $1,000)
  • Therapy at least 2x a month

These are the first things that come to mind. I have to break most of the goals into little tasks. Tomorrow I’m putting my headphones on and cleaning my space for an hour. I have astrology books everywhere. I don’t go to them as much as I used to, so they’re getting of my eyesight. I’ve never been this excited about organizing before. I already have a trash bag full. When I clean, I throw everything away. I’m not sentimental.

My birthday is in May. In May, I might have extra money BUT all the places I want to visit usually are booked by February. I’m not spending money in February unless I get a PT job soon. If I could book in April, I think a vacation might be possible. I’m looking in the $400 – $600 range for the whole vacation. Three nights. And my dog has to be able to go. I was planning four nights until all this crap happened.

I have therapy on Tuesday. FINALLY. I had to cancel all my other appointments. I had an appointment on Friday, but when I saw she had an opening on Tuesday, I grabbed that. I need help ASAP! I’m drowning.

This week I…

Music of the week: Ariana Grande, Robyn, Taylor Swift, Christina Aguilera, Mariah Carey, Rachel Platten, Beyonce, Kari Jobe

TV of the week:  This is Us

Podcasts of the week:  The Water Trio, So You Wanna Be a Witch, Crimelines, Dateline, True Crime Garage, Generation Why, Online Marketing Made Easy

Books of the week: I need to read new books! Anyway, currently reading:

Weekend Plans: I’m excited for the park with my dog. We’re supposed to be going tomorrow, but it might rain. So then we’ll go Tuesday. I’m also excited to finally clean and organize my space tomorrow. Other than that, I’m glad I don’t have to go to work until Thursday. Mostly I’m just working on stuff, so I can have $12,000 in sales by the end of 2020.

I’m going to work on an email for a collaboration I have coming up in January. I was going to take tonight off, and then I wondered what I would do? ROFL. So I blogged here, and now back to work

The Colors are Golden

FUCK. I just lost the three paragraphs I typed. WordPress!!! Ugh. Moving on…

I’ve been walking 50 minutes a day to alleviate the symptoms of seasonal affective disorder AKA seasonal depression. AND to give my dog exercise. Anyway, I don’t think walking has helped much so far. I’m not really depressed. Thank god. But I can tell I have the winter blues. I will probably keep walking as long as it is over 30 degrees because my dog really likes it. However, he is a corgi mix, and they are known to have arthritis. 😦 So I don’t want that to flare up due to the cold weather. I have to be careful. There’s no way I’m walking by myself. I would feel SO guilty for not taking my dog.

I would buy one of those lamps that bring in fake sunlight. I do have a $15 promotion from Amazon, but the item must cost at least $30, and the lamp I want is only $28. So ugh. Not sure. If I feel horrible, I might just buy a lamp. But most days, I’m okay. It’s just a few days that suck. I know February is going to be tough because February always sucks. It’s so cold and blah. I will probably take off a few days during that month.

I just got back from the bank. I deposited $15.90 in the bank. Woohoo! 2.90 of that was in change (including 10 pennies). I was slightly embarrassed to have all that change. But if I found all my change it could have been worse. I can’t wait until I’m financially doing better which should be February or March. I just don’t want to have to count pennies for groceries. And I don’t want to have a negative bank balance ever again. That would be nice.

Election 2020: I’m sad that Kamala Harris dropped out even though I wasn’t going to vote for her in the primary. I’m really bummed that Julian Castro won’t be at the debate next week. There’s not much going on that I care about. I just hope Biden is not the nominee. Please! I’m begging America. He’s not mentally up to it. So nothing’s really changed. I’m still rooting for Elizabeth Warren. Oh, I’m surprised Yang made the debate, but Booker didn’t.

This week I…

Music of the week: Rachel Platten, Maggie Rogers, Ariana Grande, Mariah Carey, Carly Rae Jepsen, Bishop Briggs, Jussie Smollett, Pistol Annies

TV of the week:  Survivor, RHoP

Podcasts of the week:  So You Wanna Be a Witch, Crimelines, Cold, Dateline, True Crime Garage, Pod Save America, Tarot for the Wild Soul, Generation why,

Books of the week: I need to read new books! Anyway, currently reading:

Yes, I’m working on creating a Saturn Return workshop. It’s going to be released in January. It will cost $15 for just the workshop (and eBook). For all that plus a personalized written report, it will cost $30.

Weekend Plans: Working at my day job (for free) and on my workshop. What else? It’s been raining a lot, so probably not a lot of walking. I’m buying food for the next two weeks tomorrow. I’m going to be frugal.

Right now, I’m going to restart my computer because it’s running really slow. Thanks for reading. Have a nice week! 🙂

I’m not crazy or anything

Since I’m not going back to the park until March, I thought I would share some pics from our (my dog and me) recent visits to the park:

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I usually only post pics to Insta. I keep forgetting to post them here. And here is one video of my dog running on the soccer field, which is probably illegal. 😉

So much is going on. I don’t know where to start. Blah. I’m mostly working on my online biz. I’m 100% committed to that for having a part-time income. I probably need to focus on one thing at a time. I have so many ideas. I’m definitely what people call a visionary. I hate details, but I can see the big picture.

Anyway, sigh. I think I’ll post some “private” entries soon. I feel all over the place. I don’t know what to say right now. Oh, my dad is coming back to living with us. He should be here soon. He was overseas. He doesn’t understand boundaries. NO, I’m not taking you anywhere during the week after I’ve worked and then I still have to work on my online biz for at least 3 hours a day.

This week I…

Music of the week: Ellie Goulding, James Arthur, Miranda Lambert, Andra Day, Ashley McBryde, Beyonce, Bryn Cartelli, Caitlyn Smith

TV of the week:  Survivor, RHoP

Podcasts of the week: Don’t Talk to Strangers, So You Wanna Be a Witch, Crimelines, Why is This Happening, Mental Illness Happy Hour

Books of the week: I finished reading Her One Mistake by Heidi Parks. The ending wasn’t great. I predicted what would happen too early. But it’s still okay if you like thrillers or Big Little Lies.

Now reading –

Weekend Plans: I really am enjoying having four days off! My next days off are at the end of December. I have 3 days off then. I’m nervous about my dad coming back. Then I have to have my dog upstairs at all times. :/ I don’t mind him, of course. But I feel bad my dog has to be stuck with me. That’s not fair to anyone.

I might be back mid-week with “private” entries. I have to clean up those entries before I post. I use names too much.

Thanks for reading! Have a good weekend and week. 🙂

Treehouse

Can anyone explain to me why women are still putting up with periods? It’s BS. Okay, if I knew I wanted kids, I wouldn’t get on birth control to stop my period. I just wouldn’t. I’m not a doctor, but infertility is such an issue these days. I wouldn’t risk it by being on birth control for years. But I’m 100% sure I’m never having kids, so this isn’t an issue for me.

I’ve been on this BC for about two years, and now I haven’t had a period in TWO months. That’s a huge win!! I hate having a period. So I’m like, finally! I tried Depo Provera to stop my period. It didn’t work. It might be suitable for birth control, but ugh, it didn’t work for stopping my period. It made it worse.

So my point is, for a lot of women, having a period is voluntary. Why do they choose to have one? Have they been brainwashed? I have no idea. Anyway, I’m sure my period will probably eventually come back for a month or so. 😦 As long as it goes away again, I’m fine. This is the first time I’ve skipped two months in a row. It’s been every other month these past 6 months.

I’m not filing bankruptcy…as long as my bank account doesn’t go negative again. Unless something unexpected comes up, December should be fine. In January, some asshole is going to try to get $420 from me. I’ve already talked to him once. (Hence calling him an asshole – ha). So I have to ask the bank to stop the transaction, OR I’m going to be negative about $300 if my budget is right. I have to stop it.

Speaking of unexpected things, I should probably file bankruptcy for that reason. But I’m going to try not to. I just hope nothing surprising happens.

I’m working on a project for my biz. Unfortunately, it won’t be ready until February or March. It’s a 12 part series. I have to record 12 videos! So yeah, it’s a big project. I’m currently working on the sales page and getting excited. But I won’t feel like it’s really real until I finish recording the first video. After the first video, the other 11 will be a breeze.

I should have done this instead of working on an astrology course. I’m not rereleasing the astrology course until October 2020. I have to recover from this last release. Creating a course is HARD. No one really said that. They said, “A course is hard to sell.” Well, 6 people bought the course from me. So selling wasn’t the problem. It was the actual creating and teaching. ARGH. I want to say never again. But I kind of promised these 6 people, I would redo the course, so I will. And I’ll have a good time doing it. I just need a break from that.

Anyway, I’m really excited about the series. I just feel a bit anxious because I haven’t started creating the videos. Like I said, if I don’t make $3600 (in revenue)  next year, I will probably hang it up. I might try something different. Or I might take a year off and then come back to astrology or go into something else. I know other modalities. So I don’t have to stick with astrology. I just really like it.

Election 2020: Still bummed Julian Castro wasn’t at the debate. How dare Gabbard and Steyer be there, but not Castro? I loved the moderators. I feel like Kamala stood out the most (in a good way). Yang didn’t get much time. Booker was funny and made two good points (not that I was counting). Biden wasn’t good, but who cares? He could shoot someone on 5th avenue and still… 

I really enjoyed it overall. I watch the news too much to find it informative. I’m glad they didn’t spend too much time debating healthcare.

I don’t care about Trump, so whatever. I did watch about 50-60% of the impeachment hearings. I found that informative because usually when Trump is mentioned, I tune out.

This week I…

Music of the week: James Arthur, Tanya Tucker, Lana Del Rey, Ariana Grande, Sara Bareilles, Carly Rae Jepsen, India.Arie, Jessie Ware

I’ve been listening to Sirius/XM radio, so these results aren’t exactly accurate. (I can’t track what I listen to on there).  I have a FREE 3 month trial to Sirius. I plan to enjoy every second before I cancel.

TV of the week:  This Is Us, RHoP

Podcasts of the week: Don’t Talk to Strangers, Polyvagal Podcast, So You Wanna Be a Witch, Crimelines,

Books of the week: 

  • Her One Mistake by Heidi Parks – Liking this more than I thought. Well written
  • The Good Guy by Dean Koontz  – not sure I’m going to finish this. But his books do sometimes start slow. I just don’t have the patience for slow starts right now.
  • Letting Go by David Hawkins

Weekend Plans: – I worked for free at my day time. Then I worked on my biz. So basically working. I have astrology class tomorrow, so I will get some knitting done. 😉 I love that I can knit and pay attention. I’m just thankful that I may not have to get a part-time job. I need time to see if I can make revenue.

Thanks for reading! Have an awesome week. 🙂

If Walls Could Talk

I’m broke. Not fake broke like people in the middle-class people say. My bank account is going negative every 30 days. Luckily I work for a company that gives me benefits with this particular bank, so I’m not charged a big fee for overdrafts. I didn’t even know that when I switched banks.

Anyway, something has to change. I should just file bankruptcy. That’s the SMART step. I talked to a bankruptcy lawyer, but he was rushing, and I didn’t understand how much I had to pay him. I know it’s $300 a month, but for how long? Am I paying back any of the creditors? If so, then I may as well do what I’m doing, which is debt consolidation. Why should I stop paying my bills for 6 months AGAIN? I had to do it for debt consolidation. I’m a Taurus. It doesn’t feel good to NOT pay bills. It feels like shit, and I would like to not feel that way again.

I had to cancel Netflix. ROFL! Woe is me. I had to cancel my therapy appointment, and I will probably cancel my therapy appointment for December. I don’t have food enough for two weeks, but I’m “borrowing” from my mom. I say borrow because I will pay her back. It depends if/when I get a PT job. I applied for two. I passed the test and even had an orientation date for this Wednesday. BUT the hours are horrible for someone with a full-time job. The pay is $16 an hour for overnight but ugh, I NEED MY SLEEP. I’m on these new meds and sleep is necessary.

The medication situation is not that great. But that’s not important now. I can’t NOT take my meds or I will have nightmares. That means I’m waking up every 5 minutes. My legs shake. Etc. So I just keep taking the meds. I have to talk more about this later. The point is that the medicine makes me very sleepy and I have to take them.

Anyway, tomorrow I’ll be near a mall for hours while I get my car inspected. I can’t buy anything, but I’ll see if any of the big stores are hiring. Sorry, I can’t do the small boutique-like stores. I can’t. It’s hard enough being around people at all. The small stores terrify me. :/ But I feel like I could probably find a good small store that I like. I don’t know.

I’m going to work on my astrology stuff* for the first few hours. I’m getting to the dealership at 7:30 AM. I’ll probably work on stuff until 10AM and then head to the mall. It would be nice if my car were done by 10, but I know this place.

*I get paid my Teachable on December 1. I’m so pissed they are holding my money for so long. I launched the class 6 weeks ago. They did pay me $46 almost immediately, but they are holding the other money by the sales made by PayPal. So I do have that money coming in. Of course, it’s already gone, but whatever.

I’ll just be happy if my bank account doesn’t go negative again.

I’m off from work until Thursday! YAY. And then next week is Thanksgiving. Another two days off. Woohoo! I have calls scheduled with ideal customers all day on Tuesday. I hope I get good feedback. I hope one of these seven people is an ideal customer. I already talked to one person, and while she’s not my ideal customer,  she gave me a TON of ideas. She told me stuff I never thought about!

Btw, to be an ideal customer, the person must believe in astrology, searching for something more in life,  be open to learning about it and be spiritual. Sometimes I wonder about the spiritual part, but whatever. I also say “bonus points if you like thrift stores”. LOL. Seven calls???! I never talk to seven people in a day. I’m such an introvert. And most of these calls are taking place on Zoom! I know WTF was I thinking? So that is what I’m doing on Tuesday.

This week I…

Music of the week: Emily James, Taylor Swift, Lauren Daigle, Ariana Grande, Chris Stapleton, India.Arie, Jess Glynne, Lana Del Rey

TV of the week:  Survivor, This is Us

Podcasts of the week: True Crime GarageSo You Wanna Be a Witch, Crimelines, Why is This Happening?

Books of the week: 

  • Her One Mistake by Heidi Parks (thriller) This book is okay so far. It’s trying too hard to be like Big Little Lies.
  • The Good Guy by Dean Koontz (thriller) – I grew up on Dean Koontz, but I haven’t read him in years.

Weekend Plans: Well, today is Sunday. I’m just glad that I have the next three days off. I’ve been working on a plan for SWT (my online biz). I sort of have a clear goal of how I want 2020 to look. My minimum revenue goal is $3,600 for the year. If I don’t make that, I will probably hang it up. I’m relaunching the online course in October 2020. Yes, that is almost a year from now, so I’m not counting on that for money. I have a new idea that will launch this upcoming January. That is where I hope to make money. BUT I have to talk to my ideal customers first to see if my idea matches their wants/needs.

I’m going back to working on my 2020 business plan tonight….as much as I can without talking to potential customers. I have everything set up in Notion. Notion is a life changer. I’m not going back to paper planning EVER. It is the best invention, and I can’t believe I didn’t know about it until two weeks ago. I now have a bullet journal set up on there. Who needs paper? If you join using that link, you get $10 extra storage, but Notion can be easily used for free. It still has ALL the functions free, just less storage. You have to see it to know what I mean. In other words, I suck at explaining how Notion works!

Thanks for reading! Have a wonderful week. 🙂

I let you mess with my head

I’m listening to Gabby Bernstein because people are fucking assholes. I want to rant about Libras and Capricorns. You already know how I feel about Aries. But Libras and Capricorns THINK they are nice, but they can be mean. I have never met a Libra I would consider nice. They are smart and look down on people not as smart as they think they are. They are full of sarcasm. I hate that. Condescending BS.

You know what? These fucking people aren’t worth my time. Obviously. Right? I had a good day on Friday and a decent, productive day today. FUCK THEM!

I always remember who starts things. Always. I DIDN’T DO SHIT TO YOU.

I HAVE SHIT TO DO.

I have two live (as in on video) tarot readings to do. Yes, I’m scared shitless. And I feel like these people are pulling me away from FOCUSING. I kind of tested myself and I feel decent. One reading is tomorrow (Sunday) and the other is Tuesday. I’ve got this.

Paypal Credit can suck it too! I’m not paying them this month. I don’t have the money. I was going to pay them $30 or $60, but that doesn’t cover the minimum. My therapist would congratulate me on not paying. LOL! I will pay them eventually. I hope it is within 3 months. Ideally, it would be within 2 months, but I don’t know. I will work out some monthly plan. I won’t die…hopefully. I know they won’t die. But I don’t want to get more than 3 months behind.

I have shit to do. That should be my new motto. I’m ignoring (starting right now) certain people on social media. That sounds silly, but these people aren’t my friends. We don’t have any other connections. Oh, there is one person in real life getting on my nerves. I wish I could ignore her. Haha. Not possible.

We were never friends. I know that. She definitely knows that. I’m not good enough for her because I have no money. Okay, that was totally WRONG and snarky. I’m not a Libra, no need to act like that. I hope she isn’t vindictive like a Scorpio. I couldn’t take that.

I think Scorpios get a bad rap. Once they do the work on their past hurts, they can be awesome healers. I like their intensity. However, an unhealed Scorpio can be scary.

I needed to vent and rant. Lovely blog. I love my blog. Okay, that’s sarcasm. I love Gabby Berstein and my dog. Marie Forleo is okay too. 😉 I want to say Marie is my business role model, but I keep thinking I’m not like her. She’s an extrovert. She helps people start businesses. She can talk. etc.

Election 2020: I’m kind of sad that Beto dropped out of the race. I didn’t like that he called Elizabeth Warren ‘punitive’. He is too moderate for me, but I liked him on the debate stage. So freaking bummed that Castro won’t be on the debate stage on November 20th. And then there is Bloomberg. Whatever. Next.

This week I…

Music of the week: Miranda Lambert, Natasha Bedingfield, H.E.R, Ariana Grande, Lauren Daigle, Alessia Cara, Backstreet Boys, Beyonce

TV of the week:  Survivor, The Devil Next Door

Podcasts of the week: So You Wanna Be a Witch, Crimelines

Books of the week: I’m rereading  Everything is Figureoutable by Marie Forleo. I’m also rereading Super Attractor: Manifesting a Life Beyond Your Wildest Dreams by Gabby Bernstein. At first, I wasn’t crazy about Super Attractor. Now I can’t get enough. I’ve probably read it three times. I will probably read it 10 more times before the year is over. Who needs new books?

I need to finish Letting Go by David Hawkins. It’s about surrendering negative feelings. Think I need to do that. 😉

Weekend Plans: My therapist is nuts. She wants me to walk my dog twice a day for an hour. I don’t do the cold. I don’t leave my house when it’s cold. I hibernate. But you know what? I’m going to do it. I will walk him right after lunch and right after work. Did I mention that I hate the cold? I sort of hoping it rains on some days just so I have an excuse not to walk.

Tomorrow I’m taking my dog to the park in the morning. I’m really doing it because I want to get my mind off doing the video tarot reading. If I stayed in, I would probably drive myself crazy.

I hope I can get of my mind, tune in and give a good tarot reading tomorrow.