Nothing compares

Biden is already pissing me off. At least wait until you get in office, dude. And asking people for money during a pandemic is a bad look. He wants money for his transition. He has plenty of billionaire friends. Ask them! Not the public. NOT RIGHT NOW. And he’s not clear enough on his economic plan. I think I know why, but UGH. So annoyed…already.

Biden and his supporters are nothing but moderate Republicans. What’s the difference between a Biden Democrat and a Republican? The Biden Democrat is pro-choice.

No, I’m not calling all people who voted for Biden “Biden supporters.” A lot of his votes were anti-Trump votes. They would have voted for a tomato. They hated Trump. Which is understandable. LOL.

The Biden faction of the Democratic party is why I’m no longer a Democrat. Centrists ruin everything. They don’t want change. They want to keep the status quo. HOW IS THAT WORKING OUT? I just want to strangle some sense into them, but they are stuck in some weird time warp. I can’t with these people. It’s better and easier to try not to understand them.

I had to get that out first. That probably won’t be my last pissed off Biden rant.

My CT scan came back unremarkable, which sounds good, but it isn’t. I wanted an ANSWER. I have none. Why am I sick? Why can’t I eat? One good thing is that someone told me they had a hiatial hernia, and it slowly went away! Say what? I hope that happens to me. She was also 14 when she had her hernia. I’m way older than that. LOL.

The medicine I’m on to be able to eat is not supposed to be taken long term. I’m worried the doctor won’t refill my prescription. I stopped taking the medicine for ten days and the results weren’t good. I could only eat once a day.

Sigh. So still sick, but I’m able to eat about 1,200 to 1,500 calories a day. It’s bland food for the most part, but I don’t think I’m losing any more weight.

Good news – My car passed state inspection!!! Whew. What a relief. I was worried about car repair bills.

I have a call with a potential client on Sunday. She is kind of a big deal. She’s famous in her field. Yes, I already “know” her. This is scary. I hope we can work something out. She wasn’t clear on exactly what she needs, which is so annoying btw. It’s your business; you should know what you need.

This week I…

Music of the week: Sara Bareillis, Lissie, Mariah Carey, Ariana Grande, James Arthur, Ellie Goulding, Emily James, Tori Kelly

TV of the week: Trial 4 (so good!)

Podcasts of the week: Truth & Justice, Dateline, So You Wanna Be a Witch, True Crime Garage, Missing Maura Murray, Generation Why, CounterClock

Books of the week:

Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway: Dynamic Techniques for Turning Fear, Indecision, and Anger into Power, Action, and Love by Susan Jeffers (One of my favorite nonfiction books of all time).

The Confidence Gap: A Guide to Overcoming Fear and Self-Doubt by Russ Harris (Read this book in 2013. Time for a reread).

Weekend Plans: Client work, of course. I hate my business website, so if I’m not swamped with work over Thanksgiving, I’m going to start redoing my site. I think I will have time because most of my clients will probably take Thanksgiving off. I’m going to try to enjoy next week because after that, I know I will have work with at least one client.

Thanks for reading. I’m going to bed now. Have a nice weekend/week. 🙂

Evil in the school yard

I have a CT scan on Monday. I took the day off even though I barely have time. If I have to get surgery, I won’t be able to get it until the beginning of February. And then I will only have one week off. Gabby Bernstein said it took her two weeks to recover from hernia surgery. Well, I don’t have two weeks, so I will either go on short term disability (40% pay cut) or work sick.

I’m used to working sick, so I think I can do it. But I have to perform well at my job. I can’t half-ass my job. If I’m in pain, I don’t know how that’s going to work.

I can’t afford a 40% pay cut…even for one week. I live paycheck to paycheck. So someone will not get paid that month.

I’m working on a new way to make extra money this weekend. I have some ideas, but they are all hard. LOL. Everything involves a lot of work. I have some “easy” ideas too. Hopefully, I can come up with something.

It looks like Biden is going to win the election. I already called it. Why is the news so slow? I can’t wait until I can hate on Biden for four years. Wait, I’ve been doing it for years. I don’t hate him as much as I’m disappointed in the people for choosing him. Biden is a decent person. I disagree politically with him on most issues.

Kamala will be president soon anyway, and I’m not saying more on that. I will say I don’t agree with her politics either. But a part of me is hoping she isn’t as corporate as Biden.

This week I…

Music of the week: Sam Smith, Grace Potter, Tori Kelly, Miranda Lambert, Halsey, Ariana Grande, Backstreet Boys, Calvin Harris

I love the new Sam Smith. I haven’t given the new Ariana much of a chance. I liked it but didn’t fall in love after one listen. I don’t like Tori’s Xmas album, but I hate Christmas so…..

TV of the week:  Unsolved Mystery

Podcasts of the week: Truth & Justice, Dateline, So You Wanna Be a Witch, True Crime Garage, Pod Save America, Suspect Convictions, Generation Why

Books of the week: Now reading – 

If You Tell: A True Story of Murder, Family Secrets, and the Unbreakable Bond of Sisterhood by Gregg Olson (The child abuse in this book is heartbreaking). 

The Woman in the Window by A.J. Finn

Weekend Plans: Working on my business. I’m going to try not to be too anxious about everything in general. One day at a time. Easier said than done.

Have a great weekend/week. Thanks for reading! 🙂

I’ve been lost and found and lost again

Ugh. Life sucks.

I don’t know what’s worse at this point. Pick a problem. Any problem. My health, money, and work are the main categories.

I got an ultrasound on Thursday. A week from now I should hear something from my doctor. I know I still have the hernia. I stopped the medicine after 30 days (per my doctor) and now I’m having difficulties eating breakfast.

I’m scared to weigh myself after this week. My jeans are falling off me. I know I have old jeans somewhere. But who has time to go through old clothes? Anyway, I will be concerned if I get below 120 pounds.

I was off three days this week. Going back is going to be tough for more than one reason. I’m tired. I’m bored. I hate that I can’t make mistakes. The work is too hard. They want us to work too fast. They don’t trust us. They treat us like machines. All my money goes to debt, so what am I working for?

Even my freelance money isn’t giving me enough to save. Savings? Yes, I saved some. I have about $350 in savings. But I might need brakes for my car. I will find out on November 20. I fixed the rear brakes last year. But that wasn’t good enough. That’s not all.

The debt consolidation people dared to ask me to pay an extra $500 a month for 6 months!!! Yes, you read that correctly. I have only $350 in savings. If I had an additional $500 a month, I would have real savings! WTF. I wish I was that well off.

I was so insulted that they even asked me. I’m not Jane – complaining about the election, with no real problems. Dude, I’m suffering. My health is not good. I have other issues that affect my future income that I haven’t even mentioned in this blog.

I don’t have $500 laying around. I was so pissed. I’m still pissed. I work my ass off. More than Jane. I will never stop mentioning Jane. Fuck Jane. Or Suzy. Same person.

Okay, so my life sucks. What else is new?

I’m glad to be working this week/weekend on my freelance work. It’s not paying as much as I would like, but I need the money. ANY MONEY. I think this money will go to car brakes. Unless I don’t need brakes. PLEASE. I could use a break. No pun intended.

About the $500, they are going to renegotiate with Sears. FUCK SEARS. The lady says they are mean to everyone. Yes, she used the word “mean.” If they can’t renegotiate, what do I do? Let them garnish my wages? File bankruptcy? I don’t know. I should know within a month. I owe them $3,000. They want the money back in 6 months. LOL. Why do they think I signed up for debt consolidation?

I’m sick of working for nothing. I work to pay the man. I can’t wait to be debt-free. I might buy a house one day. I know I will have to buy a car one day. Where I live, a car is a necessity. Plus, I want to move to a rural area. I live in the suburbs right now (right outside of the city).

They still haven’t gotten my ballot. With all that is going on, do you think I care? NO. I don’t give a shit. I’m pissed that I even wasted my time. In 2021, I will vote absentee again, but I won’t mail it back. I’ll drop the ballot off next time.

This week I…

Music of the week: Taylor Swift, Ariana Grande, Ellie Goulding, Mandy Moore, Ed Sheeran, Grace Potter, James Arthur, Jojo

TV of the week:  Big Brother, Forbidden Love

Podcasts of the week: Truth & Justice, Dateline, So You Wanna Be a Witch, Crimelines, Forensic Files

Books of the week: Now reading – 

The Meaning of Mariah Carey by Mariah Carey

If You Tell: A True Story of Murder, Family Secrets, and the Unbreakable Bond of Sisterhood by Gregg Olson (The child abuse in this book is heartbreaking).

The Woman in the Window by A.J. Finn

Weekend Plans: Working. If it doesn’t rain, I may do yoga outside tomorrow morning. I need it. It’s 9:26 on Friday night and I’m so tired. I’ve been so anxious that I haven’t been able to nap. Napping lessons my anxiety after a work day. So not napping is bad for me.

Thanks for reading. Have a great week/weekend. 🙂

I want more best days

When I think I have some time, my clients give me work out of the blue! I shouldn’t be complaining. I really could use the money. The problem is one person pays two weeks late. And two clients are paying me a low rate. I have four clients. Sigh.

I’m thinking about dumping everyone since I know what I do and don’t like to do. BUT I need to find a person to replace these clients. And finding one client who pays and has work I enjoy doing would be a full-time job. I don’t have time to do that, so now I’m back to feeling semi-stuck.

One client is paying a nice rate, and I don’t hate doing the work. It’s just time-consuming.

I’m thinking about pivoting my online biz to offering Pinterest only. But I’m nervous. I’m not confident. This may be my only way out of this hell.

I’m blogging here, so I won’t keep working. I wish I could take Sundays off. That would be nice. Many people only work five days a week or less, and they make a lot more than me. That’s always a fun fact to keep in mind.

My ballot is on the way back. I mailed it over two weeks ago. They haven’t gotten it, which is probably normal. I don’t care about my vote. Virginia will be blue, so if it gets rejected, I will NOT vote in person. But if my mom’s ballot gets rejected and I have to take her to vote, I might vote too. If I’m going to wait, I may as well vote. I wish I didn’t have to take her. All I know is that I’m NOT voting on election day. That’s for sure.

As of today, I think Biden is going to win. I just want this election to be over. I usually enjoy politics. But I’m pissed at the people for voting for Biden and Trump. People ruin everything. The Dems are lucky. I think any Dem would be winning right now. I hope the pro-establishment, centrists, Democrats are super happy right now. No sarcasm there.

I’ve just been working and pissed at the establishment. My hernia is still here. I think. I have an ultrasound on the 22nd. I’m scared they will say I have to have surgery. I barely have any time off after October, so it’s going to have to wait.

I’m down to 125 pounds. I think I’m done losing weight. I haven’t checked, but now I eat two meals every day. I have Carnation for breakfast, a 240 calorie drink. I’m still not eating much because I don’t want to get sick. Being sick sucks.

This week I…

Music of the week: Kelly Clarkson, Carrie Underwood, Ellie Goulding, Fiona Apple, Patty Griffin, Ed Sheeran, Emily James

TV of the week:  Big Brother

Podcasts of the week: Truth & Justice, Dateline, So You Wanna Be a Witch, Crimelines, 48 Hours, Without Warning

Books of the week: Now reading –

The Meaning of Mariah Carey by Mariah Carey – I thought this would be a quick read, but I’m not as interested because I know she’s not addressing her REAL issues. What’s the point of a biography if the person is leaving out the major stuff? But it’s still interesting.

Weekend Plans: Working. I exist to work. What else is there to life? Since January 2020, I haven’t had a real break. And other people were talking about things slowing down and I’m like, “WTF?” I’m in this weird space right now. Hopefully, I will have more answers soon. I would like some stability.

Thanks for reading. Have a great week! 🙂

Stuck in my mind

I have a hernia. Everyone then asks, “are you having surgery”? Thanks for asking! NOT. The doctor didn’t mention surgery. I’m on medication. I’m supposed to be swallowing the tablet, of course. But I can’t, so I’ve been crushing it. I hope that doesn’t cause more harm.

I did try EVERYTHING to get another medication, but no one gave a shit, so I have to take this. I stopped drinking coffee and soda (!!) on the same day I started the medicine, so I have no idea what’s working. Was it the coffee making me sick? I know on at least two days I got really sick right after drinking coffee. But other days were just fine.

So no more diet Mountain Dew or coffee for me. I’m scared to eat regular food like pizza or a hamburger. I can’t afford to be sick. I don’t have sick days at work. Besides, I hate being sick, so why risk it? But eventually I will have a burger (not fast food – from the grocery store). I have to test it.

The doctor told me I have to get an ultrasound of my stomach. I have a day off in about 3 weeks, so I will get it then. What more can there be? Don’t answer that. Isn’t a hernia bad enough? I just hope I don’t have to get another endoscopy. Hiring a driver and the anesthesia is too much. I will try alternative medicines like herbs before I get another endoscopy. If I get really sick, I will get one.

Speaking of being sick…I haven’t been sick in 9 days which is a record!! I’ve been sick since July. Not once have I gone 9 days without feeling sick. Um, is it the medicine, or not drinking coffee and soda? A combination? I don’t mind not drinking soda as much. But I do miss drinking coffee.

UberEats sent me a $20 off coupon (perfect timing! LOL) since I haven’t used them in about three years. Of course, I can’t eat 95% of the food they offer, but I’m going to order a tuna sandwich for lunch and a chicken breast and broccoli for dinner today. I might have to cut everything in half and save the rest. I’m ordering from Wawa. I’ve never had food from there, but I don’t think their servings are enormous like restaurants.

What else? The debt consolidation place claims I have legal representation. My court date is October 5. I’m not going to court. If I think about it too much, I get nervous. This sucks! I’m just supposed to do nothing???? Okay. I’m going to call them in a few days to make sure. I just don’t want my paycheck garnished. I would be pissed!

I’m mailing my absentee ballot in today. I really don’t care enough to take it to some place else. Sorry. Not really. I heard there is a way you can track the ballot to see if they got it, but I haven’t opened my ballot yet. I’m not looking forward to voting, but at least I don’t have to do it in line on Election Day. I consider that a win. So many people are paranoid about their ballot and I’m like whatever, yo!

This week I…

Music of the week: Rachel Platten, Ariana Grande, Carly Rae Jepsen, Alicia Keys, Jussie Smollett, Victory, Ed Sheeran, Ellie Goulding

TV of the week:  Big Brother, The Wrong Man

Podcasts of the week: Truth & Justice, Dateline, So You Wanna Be a Witch, Crimelines, Tara Brach, Cousins by Blood, Paper Ghosts, 48 Hours, Morally Indefensible, Limitless Life

Books of the week: 

I finished Too Much and Never Enough: How my Family Created the World’s Most Dangerous Man by Mary Trump. Decent book. I wouldn’t recommend it because of what she says about Trump. Most of the stuff in the book is obvious. I wrote a blog saying most of what she did just by studying Trump’s astrology chart. So nothing new there, but it was still a good read.

I also finished reading Chakra Healing: A Beginner’s Guide to Self-Healing Techniques that Balance the Chakras by Margarita Alcantara. I had a short reiki section last week, and the practitioner was spot on. She knew what I had been repeating in my head about work. She used the exact word I used! It was amazing. Anyway, she told me my solar plexus chakra was blocked. That’s where my hernia is!! I got some excellent tips from this book. 

Now that we don’t have mandatory overtime, I have a little bit of time to read. I will be going back to audiobooks soon. I can listen to those while I’m working.

Weekend Plans: I was supposed to do yoga outside this morning, but it’s raining a little. So to force myself NOT to work, I decided to blog here. I still have work to do this weekend for my clients. I will force myself to get off the computer a little this weekend. I’m either going to fill out my ballot now or work. I will probably get voting out of the way.

Thanks for reading. Have a good week. 🙂

Decide the words I say

My clients are driving me crazy. But I’m setting them straight…one by one. They don’t know I’ve been sick since July. However, asking someone to spend their Thursday night on your video editing project with about 2 hours notice (!!) is NUTS. Who does that?? “I’m sending you over a video, can you edit it tonight?”

It was a weeknight. Also, I have other clients. Why should I do your shit on short notice? Anyway, I told her to give me at least 3 days in the future for video editing stuff. I hate editing videos. It slows my computer down and I have to spend 2 hours straight only working on that. Grr! Apparently, she has a lot of video she wants me to edit. Great.

She went 3 weeks without giving me anything to do, so I guess she figures she can use me for anything. And the client I fired for not paying? She’s back!! So, I’m back to having four clients again.

I’m so tired and so sick. I called into sick to work on Friday. Thank god we didn’t have mandatory overtime this past week. My therapist thinks all this working is making me sick. It’s not helping. That’s for sure. I had to cancel time off scheduled for next week, so I could get paid for Friday. We don’t have sick time.

I have my endoscopy on Monday at 7AM. I need answers. I was nervous about the anesthesia, but I think I’ll be okay if my therapist described the process right. I’ve never been under anesthesia before. I have my ride scheduled. I really hope this solves the problem because I don’t want to have to pay $150 for another ride. If I need another procedure, I’m going to wait until October.

I NEED FUCKING ANSWERS!

And the summons from the credit company still hasn’t been resolved. So I guess I’m filing bankruptcy on October 1. This sucks. I can’t even worry about this anymore, because I’m always sick or working!

Current events? Who has time to even be concerned about the news when they’re dealing with all this shit. I only care about the NBA Finals a little. I don’t care about Biden or Trump. I do care about the wildfires and think about that everyday. Anyway…caring about the big news is not a privilege I have right now. Hopefully, I can get back to that soon.

This week I…

Music of the week: Ellie Goulding, Taylor Swift, Grace Potter, Ariana Grande, H.E.R, Bishop Briggs, Jessie Ware, Lauren Daigle

TV of the week:  Big Brother, 13 Reasons Why

Podcasts of the week: Truth & Justice, Dateline, So You Wanna Be a Witch, Crimelines, Joyce Meyer, The Teacher’s Pet

Books of the week: I finished reading You are the Guru: 6 Messages to Help You Through Difficult Times With Difficulty and Faith by Gabrielle Bernstein. 5 Stars. I need to listen to this again this weekend. So good and helpful.

I’m also listening to Too Much and Never Enough: How my Family Created the World’s Most Dangerous Man by Mary Trump. I’ve never managed to finish a book about Trump, but I think I’ll finish this one. I’m on chapter eight. It’s good so far. Nothing shocking yet, though.

Weekend Plans: Well, I unexpectedly slept a lot today. I’m so glad I didn’t have to work. I did work for my clients, of course, but it wasn’t much. Tomorrow I will try my best to have a regular work day so I won’t get behind.

I also have to get ready for my endoscopy. I have to read the rules again, but I don’t think there is anything major I have to do. I just have to get up at 5AM on Monday which isn’t that different from a normal Monday. I hope everything works out.

Thanks for reading! Have a great weekend/week. 🙂

Walk through fire

I don’t have much to say. I’ve worked 100 hours in two weeks for my full-time job in the past two weeks. That doesn’t count the hours of freelance work I’m doing.

I’m still sick. This sucks. I’m getting an endoscopy on September 14th at 6:30 AM. I have to pay a company about $150 because I have no one to sit with me who can drive. Woe is fucking me! What if I have to get a colonoscopy because the endoscopy doesn’t show anything? I’ll have to pay the $150 again. This doesn’t include the cost of the procedure which is probably 20% of the charge for me.

I hope I don’t have to get a colonoscopy. My uncle died from stage 4 colon cancer.

I’m not vomiting much anymore. But I still can’t eat much. I can eat at least once a day. I have stomach pain, nausea and light headaches.

Oh! This isn’t all. You thought that is all I had to bitch about? I WISH. I got a summons/warrent for credit card debt. Yipee! I’m not just dealing with working an insane amount and being really sick – I also have a court date. WOW. Someone really loves me.

I’m ignoring the summons for now. The court date isn’t until October 15. I could let them garnish my wages. Or I could try to come up with an agreement. This credit card company is supposed to be part of my debt consolidation, but the company didn’t take care of them yet. So guess who has to deal with it? ME. Not fucking Sally. ME.

Everything falls on ME. Don’t have a ride to your endoscopy? Cancel it or scramble around all week to find some stranger to take you. Exhausted? Sick? Who gives a shit. I’M going to work 50 hours a week (not counting my freelance work) for you. I did the right thing and enrolled in debt consolidation. Who got a summons? ME.

I don’t want to hear about fucking Sally and how she’s living through a pandemic. She doesn’t even have kids to homeschool. WHAT THE FUCK IS SHE LIVING THROUGH? Sally will be fine. She’s not sick. She might not even have to work for the man. She has housing. She has food. She doesn’t have a summons. She has people to take her to an endoscopy. Screw Sally!!

Okay, I have PTSD and the pandemic didn’t affect me that much because I can handle shit like this. Sally doesn’t have PTSD? SAY WHAT?

I’ll try to be nice to Sally because she’s living through the pandemic. Seriously, WTF? Add more to that plate Sally.

Did I just go on a rant? Yes.

I don’t want to talk about current events this week. Blah.

This week I…

Music of the week: Yola, Emily James, Ellie Goulding, Taylor Swift, Ariana Grande, James Arthur, Sounds of Blackness, Rachel Platten

TV of the week:  Big Brother, 13 Reasons Why

Podcasts of the week: Truth & Justice, Dateline, So You Wanna Be a Witch, Crimelines, Serial, Gone Cold, The Lowe Post

Books of the week: I finished reading Atomic Habits by James Clear. It’s a decent book if you really want to start a new habit.

Weekend Plans: Well, today is Sunday. I worked almost all day yesterday. Today is mostly a day off. I have a few freelance things to do. I just hope I don’t have to work 50 hours at my day job next week AGAIN. I know we will be forced to work at least 45 hours which is much better than 50 hours.

Thanks for reading. Have a great week.

How to lose 7 pounds in 5 weeks

Or so. I don’t know how long I’ve been sick. I have this blog and an online private blog that no one can read. I probably need to look at dates to figure out when I really got sick. Of course, I thought it was only temporary. But it wasn’t!

Here we are. AND I’M STILL SICK! Sigh. This sucks. Of course, this was the week I was forced to work 10 hours of overtime which is complete bullshit. I have never been treated so bad by this company. I’ve been there for 15 years and this is the worse!!

Do you think I would still be there if it had been horrible for 15 years???! I’m a Taurus, so maybe. I dunno.

I saw a random doctor via Telehealth on Thursday. She said it’s probably not COVID. She also said I didn’t seem stressed which is complete bullshit. A Taurus never seems stressed. You have to REALLY piss off a Taurus to see them stressed or angry. We hide our feelings and our disdain. I thought that was funny. In fact, I laughed when she said that.

Anyway…she said it could be gallbladder or diabetes related. She also said it could be anything. LOL. Thanks. I think it’s my gallbladder. Bummer. What if I have to have surgery? I’ve never had surgery. Stop freaking me out!

As far as diabetes, my glucose levels are fine so even though it runs in my family, I don’t think it’s that. I have another Telehealth appointment on Tuesday with my PCP. She will probably refer me to get an ultasound for my gallbladder.

I have no idea why Telehealth keeps getting capitalized. It’s BS. I’m not changing it.

I feel like shit right now. I’m working crazy hours. One client hasn’t paid me which is fine because then I can let her go. I don’t like doing her work. I don’t mind uploading her blog posts and making it look nice, but everything else is not what I enjoy doing. It would be nice to be paid though.

Fuck. What a privilege it is to not have to work for money. I am not talking about people receiving disability. If I lived in another country, I could receive disability. I have the receipts. Anyhow, I just want to make that clear.

I’m talking about people with partners and well off parents. etc. There are people that don’t have to work for money. What a nice life. While some of us are vomiting while working. Yes, that was me these past two weeks. I envy them. But that’s not my life and I need to get over it.

Current events 2020: I applied for my mail in ballot two weeks ago. Whatever about the president. (Okay, I hope Trump loses). I’m concerned with the local stuff. If I have to vote in person, I will. I think we can start voting in person in about a month. I don’t want to do have to do that, but I will. I’ll take my mom too. She also applied for her mail in ballot. So we’ll see.

I listened to a lot of the Democratic National Convention via PBS the day after the event occurred. I couldn’t listen to Biden. Bleh. I missed Sanders. I heard Warren, Kamala, Jill Biden and Obama. It was well done. I probably will listen to the Republican one, but not if it’s too stressful. For god sakes, I avoided BIDEN. How the hell am I going to listen to Republicans? Good point. 😉

Centrists are destroying everything. I hate them. I guess I shouldn’t say hate, but ugh, they ruin everything. And they are just there…not doing shit. Okay, I’ve never protested but I have severe social anxiety. I want to protest how we are dealing with COVID. Fuck. I want to protest everything.

I’m going to start giving back to the Innocence Project once my money is more consistent. When I wasn’t making much, I donated $12 a month. I stopped when I ran out of money and had to cancel EVERYTHING. If I can find a more local charity – great. But I like their work. I don’t agree with how they handle everything, but I value 95% of their work.

If Trump “successfully” steals this election, there should be mayhem in the streets. I might even join if I’m not sick and working.

This week I…

Music of the week: Danielle Bradbury, Ellie Goulding, Marren Morris, Miranda Lambert, Jessie James Decker, Lauren Alaina, Maddie & Tae, Mariah Carey

Lot of country music this week. It just sorta happened.

TV of the week:  Big Brother, 13 Reasons Why

Podcasts of the week: Truth & Justice, Dateline, So You Wanna Be a Witch, Crimelines, Fresh Air, Serial, It Was Simple

Books of the week: Start Where You Are: A Guide to Compassionate Living by Pema Chodron

…and two other books by Pema Chodron that I’m too lazy to link to.

Weekend Plans: Well, I have to work 7 hours tomorrow. I’ll probably get up at 7 and start work at 7:30. Then on Sunday, I’m going grocery shopping because I can’t eat any of the food I have!! I’m buying 5 cans of chicken noodle soup. That should last until I go back to the store on September 6. Since COVID, I try to only go to the store once a month. I was doing Instacart because I was feeling like shit, but that’s expensive. I’d rather put gas in my car (which I haven’t needed to do in about 2 months), and just go to the store.

Instacart is great for people with the resources, but when I’m not sure what I can eat and I keep wanting to get food delivered because I’m not feeling well…it’s BAD.

Have a nice weekend. Thanks for reading. 🙂

Start Where You Are

I took a COVID test. Kind of. Argh! I was too terrified to go to a doctor because I knew they would stick that shit up my nose, so I went to a CVS Minute Clinic where I put the stick up my own nose. The problem? I didn’t stab it up my nose that much because FUCK, why would I do that?

I wish the COVID test was a blood draw. I don’t have a problem with needles, but I’m not sticking shit up my nose. So the test might be a complete waste. I took the test last Saturday. No results yet.

I’ve been sick for at least 15 days. Probably more. I just started eating somewhat normally yesterday, but today I didn’t eat dinner. So I’m still not feeling well.

If it weren’t for my therapist, I would have NEVER gotten a COVID test. She basically said I looked like shit when I had my appointment on July 31. I was so used to eating only once a day at that point that I didn’t even feel that weird. She convinced me that I should go to CVS and swab my own nose.

I don’t know what’s wrong. I just know I’ve never been sick this long in my life. NEVER. If it’s not COVID, then um, I dunno what’s wrong. I don’t want to go to the doctor again. I’m pretty much okay as long as I drink sugar free Gatorade and eat once a day. Why didn’t anyone tell me Gatorade (even the sugar free version) is so good???! My therapist told me. This past appointment was probably the most helpful session ever. Drink Gatorade! Yes, ma’am.

What else? Work sucked on Thursday. I’m only working 3 days next week. I’m off on Thursday and Friday. My goal is too remain focused and do the best 3 days of work I’ve ever done. I’m probably going to ask too many questions, but whatever. I’m new to this work and the support is okay, but it could be better.

My freelance work was okay this week. I have 4 clients, but I managed to get a week off from one client so that was great. I get one week a month off from her. She’s a therapist in New York.

I have one complaint about a client. She thinks I’m a website designer or something! Yes, I know Squarespace. That’s easy. (So is Wix). But WordPress.Org is hard. I did what she wanted about an hour ago, but ugh! I have my new website on WordPress.Org and oh my, Squarespace is so much easier. But I’ve dumped so much money into WordPress, so I’m sticking with them for myself.

It’s Saturday morning. Midnight. I went to sleep for 6 hours (!!) after my day job and now my schedule is all messed up. I will try to get to bed by 2AM. I think I’m going to work on my freelance website, after I finish blogging this since I’ve done most of my work.

Gotta go. All I have to say about current events is that I need to get my absentee ballot. I want it in the mail by September.

This week I…

Music of the week: Taylor Swift, Ellie Goulding, JoJo, Rachel Platten, Ariana Grande, Mariah Carey, Robyn, Ashanti

TV of the week:  Big Brother, Little Fires Everywhere

Little Fires Everywhere isn’t great, but I recommend it to Gen X and maybe millennials for the 90s references. I can’t keep up with the generations. Anyway, who remembers YM magazine? That was my favorite. I even had a subscription!

Podcasts of the week:  Truth & Justice, Dateline, So You Wanna Be a Witch, Undisclosed, The JJ Redick Podcast, The Lowe Post, Up and Vanished, Unlocking Us, Crimelines, 1619, The Astrology Podcast, Why is This Happening,

I have a lot of time to listen to podcasts while working. 😉

Books of the week: Start Where You Are: A Guide to Compassionate Living by Pema Chodron

Weekend Plans:  It’s 12:33 AM on Saturday morning. I wish I was tired enough to go to bed. I will probably work on my website for a bit and then get in bed. This weekend I have freelance work and I’m working on own stuff. I always have to be in marketing or making mode, so I can have income coming in.  

Thanks for reading! Have a great weekend and week. 🙂

Dry heat

I got my period for the first time in a year a week ago. Who was super pissed? ME. Fuck the patriarchy. I don’t need a period. I know all these women are so in love with their periods. Or that is a newish trend. But I think it’s bullshit. I don’t need a period. I don’t want a period. Why am I on birth control in the first place????!

I have to schedule an appointment with my ob/gyn. That’s the only way I can keep getting birth control. I will probably go in September. I’m trying to get three days off straight. So I’ll see what my new boss says. I have no idea how they do time off.

Oh, I forgot I better schedule a mammogram before they get on me about that. I will do that with time off in October.

I have an appointment with my psychiatrist in 1 hour. This should be interesting. I’m trying to get off Lexapro. It was good to me for years, but now my body hates it. It makes me too tired.

I’m overworking. What else is new? I had to tell one client I was sick today and I am. I can’t keep any food down. 😦 I’ve been sick for 3 or so days. I finally ordered some medicine, but it’s not coming until tomorrow. blah.

Anyway, at least I know what’s causing me to be tired. So should I cancel my sleep appointment? I probably should cancel. The appointment is Wednesday, so I have to cancel on Monday.

I’m still wondering whether I should hire someone. My work is kind off inconsistent, but it’s becoming more consistent each week which is good, but I’m not sure I NEED to hire someone.

I hit my income goal for July. That’s good news, but I also worked 7 days a week. So….

Politics/Current Events 2020: I probably will vote for Biden even though I live in Virginia and I don’t have to. But since I’m voting anyhow, I may as well vote for president. I need to get my absentee ballot and mail it in 3 weeks early. I want to make sure my vote counts. Not for the presidency…but for the other stuff on our ballot.

This week I…

Music of the week: Taylor Swift, The Chicks, Ellie Goulding, Keith Urban, Miranda Lambert, Aretha Franklin, Ariana Grande, Carrie Underwood

TV of the week:  Cheer

The fact that people can watch Cheer on Netflix and not talk about concussions in sports says everything you need to know about America’s sports fans. I’m truly disturbed.

Podcasts of the week:  Truth & Justice, Dateline, So You Wanna Be a Witch, Abraham Hicks, Undisclosed, Crime Junkie, Pod Save America, The JJ Redick Podcast, The Lowe Post

Books of the week: Call Me God: The Untold Story of the DC Sniper Investigation by a bunch of people

Weekend Plans: Today is Sunday. My body wouldn’t let me work as much as I wanted, so SIGH. I have two appointments tonight. I will try to fit some work in.

Thanks for reading! Have a good week. 🙂