I let you mess with my head

I’m listening to Gabby Bernstein because people are fucking assholes. I want to rant about Libras and Capricorns. You already know how I feel about Aries. But Libras and Capricorns THINK they are nice, but they can be mean. I have never met a Libra I would consider nice. They are smart and look down on people not as smart as they think they are. They are full of sarcasm. I hate that. Condescending BS.

You know what? These fucking people aren’t worth my time. Obviously. Right? I had a good day on Friday and a decent, productive day today. FUCK THEM!

I always remember who starts things. Always. I DIDN’T DO SHIT TO YOU.


I have two live (as in on video) tarot readings to do. Yes, I’m scared shitless. And I feel like these people are pulling me away from FOCUSING. I kind of tested myself and I feel decent. One reading is tomorrow (Sunday) and the other is Tuesday. I’ve got this.

Paypal Credit can suck it too! I’m not paying them this month. I don’t have the money. I was going to pay them $30 or $60, but that doesn’t cover the minimum. My therapist would congratulate me on not paying. LOL! I will pay them eventually. I hope it is within 3 months. Ideally, it would be within 2 months, but I don’t know. I will work out some monthly plan. I won’t die…hopefully. I know they won’t die. But I don’t want to get more than 3 months behind.

I have shit to do. That should be my new motto. I’m ignoring (starting right now) certain people on social media. That sounds silly, but these people aren’t my friends. We don’t have any other connections. Oh, there is one person in real life getting on my nerves. I wish I could ignore her. Haha. Not possible.

We were never friends. I know that. She definitely knows that. I’m not good enough for her because I have no money. Okay, that was totally WRONG and snarky. I’m not a Libra, no need to act like that. I hope she isn’t vindictive like a Scorpio. I couldn’t take that.

I think Scorpios get a bad rap. Once they do the work on their past hurts, they can be awesome healers. I like their intensity. However, an unhealed Scorpio can be scary.

I needed to vent and rant. Lovely blog. I love my blog. Okay, that’s sarcasm. I love Gabby Berstein and my dog. Marie Forleo is okay too. 😉 I want to say Marie is my business role model, but I keep thinking I’m not like her. She’s an extrovert. She helps people start businesses. She can talk. etc.

Election 2020: I’m kind of sad that Beto dropped out of the race. I didn’t like that he called Elizabeth Warren ‘punitive’. He is too moderate for me, but I liked him on the debate stage. So freaking bummed that Castro won’t be on the debate stage on November 20th. And then there is Bloomberg. Whatever. Next.

This week I…

Music of the week: Miranda Lambert, Natasha Bedingfield, H.E.R, Ariana Grande, Lauren Daigle, Alessia Cara, Backstreet Boys, Beyonce

TV of the week:  Survivor, The Devil Next Door

Podcasts of the week: So You Wanna Be a Witch, Crimelines

Books of the week: I’m rereading  Everything is Figureoutable by Marie Forleo. I’m also rereading Super Attractor: Manifesting a Life Beyond Your Wildest Dreams by Gabby Bernstein. At first, I wasn’t crazy about Super Attractor. Now I can’t get enough. I’ve probably read it three times. I will probably read it 10 more times before the year is over. Who needs new books?

I need to finish Letting Go by David Hawkins. It’s about surrendering negative feelings. Think I need to do that. 😉

Weekend Plans: My therapist is nuts. She wants me to walk my dog twice a day for an hour. I don’t do the cold. I don’t leave my house when it’s cold. I hibernate. But you know what? I’m going to do it. I will walk him right after lunch and right after work. Did I mention that I hate the cold? I sort of hoping it rains on some days just so I have an excuse not to walk.

Tomorrow I’m taking my dog to the park in the morning. I’m really doing it because I want to get my mind off doing the video tarot reading. If I stayed in, I would probably drive myself crazy.

I hope I can get of my mind, tune in and give a good tarot reading tomorrow.

The pathway to surrender

I found a new way to journal. I LOVE it. All I have to do is email my entries in. Dabble Me sends me an email every day at 5 PM, and all I have to do is click respond and type. I wish I’d known about this before. I used to journal on paper, but now I can’t keep track of anything, plus I’m paranoid about other people reading it.

There’s a free version and a paid version. I don’t know all the differences between the versions. All I know is that with the free version, I don’t think a reminder email comes every day. I think it only comes once a week, which wouldn’t help me.

I’m taking a social media break.  😦 From Monday through Friday, no Instagram, Facebook, or Twitter for me. I will miss Twitter the most because I get most of my news from there. FB and Insta aren’t that big a deal. I can easily live without those.

What I really need is probably an internet break, but I can’t do that right now because I’m still working on the course I’m making. I rerecorded ALL of module 2. And now I’m re-recording the whole damn course. The good thing is that the slides are done. I just have to do my voiceover again.

I’m thinking about registering my business as an LLC. It’s not as expensive where I live compared to California. Where I live, it’s $100 upfront and then $50 a year. That’s cheap compared to other states. I just want to do what’s best for taxes. I’m attending a webinar with an accountant soon, so she should be able to answer my questions.

I don’t even want to think about taxes. First, I haven’t paid any taxes on the money from my online business.*. Then I did a debt relief program, so my taxes could be a mess. If the IRS wants money, I’m going to ask them for a payment plan if it’s over $200.

*I haven’t made a ton, but I still have to pay taxes on it. I need to find an accountant. I will probably ask around in a FB group. The lady that does my taxes doesn’t specialize in online business.

All I have been doing is working. I’m glad to be blogging right now. At least, it’s not working!

This week I…

Music of the week: Christina Aguilera, Taylor Swift, Jussie Smollett, Ariana Grande, Rachael Sage, Rachel Platten, Lissie, Maggie Rose

TV of the week:  Survivor, Real Housewives of Potomac

Podcasts of the week: So You Wanna Be a Witch, Crimelines, Online Business Made Easy

Crimelines is my new favorite podcast. If you like true crime, give it a listen.

Books of the week: Hopefully, with my social media break, I will find time to finish these books –

Weekend Plans: I’ve been working nonstop on free content for my biz. I wish I could take today off, but I have to complete horoscopes for November. I have to do an email to my email list. Etc. Etc.

Thanks for reading. Have a great week! 🙂

Am I alive?

So far, two people purchased my astrology course. BUT I had to offer it half price to get those sales. Each person paid $20. The last day to purchase is this upcoming Tuesday (debate night!). I’m not expecting more sales. Maybe one more? Hopefully. But I’m thankful for two sales. I did mention that I cut the price because I wanted feedback. I hope these two lovely people give me feedback.

I did get feedback from a person I let see one module. They weren’t my ideal customer because the person knew too much about astrology. They said it was “too beginner.” Well, yes, it is. That’s the point. 🙂

Excited to have students. I’m also terrified. That’s why I pushed the start date from October 14 to October 21. I just couldn’t take it, plus I want to make sure the one worksheet needed for module one is in good shape. The other modules will have more worksheets that I need to get started on after I blog here.

I did apply for a part-time freelance job. It’s a work from home job. I did a test. It took about 2 hours to complete the test. If I don’t pass, I might try one more time with a different email address and my full name. The pay is not great. Some people make $150 a week, but how many hours are they working? I only need about $100 a week (in addition to my full-time job, of course). I just don’t want to spend 40 hours working a PT job to get only $100. How can I do much of anything if I’m working 80 hours a week?

I should hear back by Wednesday about this job. I’m hesitant about trying again because I don’t know if I’m going to be good at this job. I don’t want a stressful PT job. No way. Been there, done that. I might read about others’ experiences more to see if I would like the job before I try again.

I know I need a PT job because I had to cancel my therapy appointment due to a lack of money. 😦 I rescheduled for October 25th. My emotions keep going up and down, so I know I could use therapy.

This week I…

Music of the week: Lauren Daigle, Taylor Swift, Victory, Tori Kelly, Carly Rae Jepsen, Beyonce, Andra Day, Aretha Franklin

TV of the week: The Politician, Survivor

I didn’t think I would like The Politician. I don’t usually watch comedy, but this is a dark comedy. It’s full of sarcasm.  It’s on Netflix. Gwyneth Paltrow is in it, but not too much if you hate her. 😉

Podcasts of the week: True Crime Garage,  So You Wanna Be a Witch, The Astrology Podcast, The Jim Fortin Podcast, Crimelines, Online Marketing Made Easy, The Thing About Pam (overrated, but good)

Books of the week: I finished reading Everything is Figureoutable by Marie Forleo. Best self-help book in the last 5 years! Read this book. It’s everything. I wish I didn’t have the audio version, so I could highlight the important parts. But I’m not buying the Kindle version right now, I might buy it later.

I also finished Super Attractor: Manifesting a Life Beyond Your Wildest Dreams by Gabby Berstein. I listened to this also. I’m currently reading the Kindle version to highlight the parts I want to keep going back to. If you like The Universe Has Your Back by her, you’ll probably like this. Super Attractor is sort of like part two. I have to actually read it before I give my opinion. I was listening to the audio version while working.

Right now, I’m not reading anything new. I might start something soon. It depends on whether I get a PT job.

Weekend Plans: Nothing to do with the weekend, but I was off on Monday and Tuesday. I mostly worked on creating my course. I took my dog to the park on Tuesday and yesterday. I usually don’t like Fall, but this summer was brutal since my room was often over 100 degrees. I’m not off from work again until November 18. I’m off for the first 3 days of that week. I wish I had asked for more time off in December. I only have December 30th off, then I have to work on NYE, and I have New Year’s off. Blah. Oh, I also have Xmas day off, of course.

Today I’m going to work on creating my course. I mostly took yesterday off. I’ve been working my ass off! I deserve one day of just doing nothing. Besides going to the park, I did a bunch of business development stuff, which doesn’t count as work to me.

Thanks for reading. I hope to get back to blogging at least once a week from now on. This is the only way I keep up with my life these days. I have to get back to journaling on paper, or maybe I will try journaling on my computer since I haven’t tried that in years.

Have an excellent week! 🙂

They always say I don’t fit in

Ha! The letter to the landlord worked. Kind of. He still wants me to pay $1500, and then I’m done!! At first, he wanted me to pay $14,000. LOL. What happened to that amount? He knew he was wrong. He knew that wasn’t legal. I didn’t even mention I had a lawyer in my letter to him even though people told me to. I didn’t say that because I didn’t want to be dishonest. Anyhow, I “only” have to pay him $400 a month until I pay off the $1500. Some people would tell me not to pay that, but I will. It’s not worth hiring a lawyer to fight $1500.

Woohoo! I was so scared he was going to take me to court and then I would have to hire a lawyer. I would have tried to settle versus going to court. But I still would have to had to pay the lawyer. I’m so grateful to the people who told me to fight this. Sometimes people are awesome. 😉 Too bad I was paying to talk to both of those people. I don’t have friends, so I get nothing for free.

18 people ended up signing up for my free astrology email course. Not bad. I just wish I knew if they liked it. I can’t control that, but what’s the point if everyone hated it? I know I like to teach astrology, but that doesn’t make me a good teacher. I’m doing another free course at the end of this month. This time it will be a free VIDEO course. I hope I can get more than 18 people to sign up for it since the topic is better and it’s video. I’m supposed to be working on that now. And my big NOT FREE course will start around October 14th. I still don’t know the price. I think I’m going to price it at $47. Not sure. Asking people to spend money makes me uncomfortable. I’m fine with charging under $20. But there’s no way, I’m going to sell an astrology 101 course with five modules for $20. People won’t buy it because it is priced too low.

Election 2020: Anyone who supports Joe at this point is hmmm, what’s a nice word? Uninformed? He is clearly suffering from dementia. It’s sad. I wonder what would happen if he were president. I think the chances of that happening are low, but what if? I think we would rarely see him. He would have to resign and let his VP step in. When Biden was going on about record players, almost everyone was looking down uncomfortably. Kamala looked embarrassed. Warren looked like she just wanted it to be over.

Sigh. At least Booker said something later on CNN about how Biden might not be the best candidate if he can’t speak coherently. He wasn’t that blunt, of course. I think it is irresponsible of the media to let this go on. Thank god for Twitter where a few brave souls called what Biden said racist (it was) and said he had a meltdown. I hate to say calling it racist is a distraction, BUT the point is, he isn’t mentally healthy. Most people (black, white, brown) aren’t going to believe Biden is a racist. I knew he wouldn’t last 3 hours. Someone with mental decline can’t stand up for 3 hours in that situation. He needed a long break. He’s probably fine in the mornings after sleep.

As far as Biden on race, he has always been bad on race. He’s been saying racist things for at least 40 years. Look at his policies too. It’s not just what he says.

Oh, and Joe was wrong when he said the Obama administration didn’t keep children in cages. But who cares? JOE FOR AMERICA!!!11!!!1!!

About Castro, it was a low blow because he kept going on and on and spoke over Biden. If he had just made a comment about “what you said 2 minutes ago” and stopped, I probably wouldn’t call it a low blow.  I still support Castro for VP. 🙂 Too bad this will probably hurt him. He has made the October debate, so maybe he can redeem himself. Anyhow, I don’t think what he said was mean because this is politics. Anything goes (unfortunately). Trump would kill Biden. I don’t even want to think about it. The Republicans probably want Biden to be the nominee so bad because they know they’ll win against him.

This week I…

Music of the week: Ma Muse, Ayla Nereo, Aretha Franklin, Beyonce, Rising Appalachia, Ariana Grande, Lykke Li, Missy Higgins

An article just came out about how people are listening to less music. I hope this doesn’t affect people from releasing music. I’ve been listening to less music because I’ve been concentrating on listening to astrology business-related stuff. I still listen to music about 5 days a week, but I used to listen to music every single day.

TV of the week: Big Brother, Mindhunter

Podcasts of the week: True Crime Garage, Hell and Gone, Pod Save America, So You Wanna Be a Witch, The Astrology Podcast, The Jim Fortin Podcast

Books of the week: 

Weekend Plans: I was off Friday. I’ve been sleeping until 9AM!! I never do that. It is 100% due to the new meds I’m taking. I have stuff to do. I can’t sleep until 9. That’s not okay. I’m working on creating astrology content. That’s my number 1 priority. I have to go create Instagram content now. Fun times.

Have a great weekend. 🙂 Thanks for reading!

All you had to do was stay

So much going on. Some of this overwhelm is my fault. My free email course starts tomorrow. I have four out of five lessons done. Do I have to finish lesson five today? Nope. But I’m putting all this pressure on myself to get it done today. Sigh. And then what if it sucks? There’s always that fear. Btw, 16 people signed up for my email course. That’s not bad considering I’m not known. I rarely post videos on social media which is what sells these days. So I’m okay with that number.

Then someone -the first person ever- signed up for my Patreon! She signed up for the $11  level. That would normally be great news, but I was about to stop my Patreon or revamp it. I still haven’t fulfilled her request. I did email her, and she gave me her info, but I haven’t even started her stuff. Double sigh. I’m going to do one of her things today.

I’m looking forward to the 3-hour live astrology class because I won’t have to think about anything else. I’ll be on camera (via zoom), and I have to look like I’m paying attention. 😉

Then the worse thing. I had to set a boundary, and I feel like CRAP about it. But I had to. If only she would have stopped what she was doing and tell the truth about it. I hate when people lie. That’s been established. However, in this case, the biggest issue is that she wouldn’t stop what she was doing. I feel bad. 😦 I hate setting boundaries. Hate it. Oh well.

For all these reasons, my stomach hurts, and I feel sick. I don’t even want to eat breakfast. But I’m going to stop blogging and eat.

My ex-landlord hasn’t contacted me. I did contact a lawyer. Guess what? She only does divorce and child custody. Bummer. Supposedly she was affordable for a lawyer. I’m sick of searching for lawyers, so I’m just going to wait and see if the landlord contacts me again.

Election 2020: The debate is Thursday. Wow. I had no idea it was so soon until two days ago. I expect it to be interesting, so I’ll watch the whole thing even though that means missing Big Brother on Thursday. Ack! I think Elizabeth Warren can win the primary. I don’t know. The Dems are so scared. They might equate her with Hillary because she’s a female. Sad, but true. No one is Hilary because no one has her background. She was the First Lady. She’s been well known since the 90s, and a lot of people didn’t like her. She never opened up, and she wasn’t open to the media.

Needless to say, Warren isn’t Clinton, but don’t tell Americans that. I still think if Kamala were herself, she’d be doing so much better.

CORRECTION: The stat I said last week about black transgender women living until 35 might not be accurate. No one is keeping stats on all the transgender women. So it’s impossible to know.

This week I…

Music of the week: Lana Del Rey, Tori Kelly, The Highwomen, Taylor Swift, Lauren Daigle, MaMuse, Coldplay, Keyshia Cole

TV of the week: Big Brother, 13 Reasons Why

Podcasts of the week: Crime Junkie, All In with Chris Hayes, Hardball, Hell and Gone, Online Marketing Made Easy, Pod Save America, The Jim Fortin Podcast, The Kate & Mike Show, True Crime Garage

Books of the week: Currently reading –

Weekend Plans: The weekend is almost over. I mostly worked on creating my email course. I’m off on Friday the 13th. Now I wish I had this Monday off. I went to two museums yesterday. Beautiful grounds. Dogs are allowed on the outside. I might take my dog there before it gets cold. I will probably share pics from the museum on this blog one day. Anyhow, I have tons to do today. Gotta go.

Thanks so much for reading! Have an excellent weekend. 🙂

I’m indifferent

FUCK. I was having a good day, then shit hit the fan. However, I pulled an oracle card, and it told me to stay calm. So dammit, I’m going to stay calm. 🙂

I might have to see a lawyer one day this week for a free consultation. I’m sure I’ll probably end up giving her money. Whatever it takes. I want it resolved quickly. My ex-landlord is claiming I owe him $14,000+ WTF? ROFL. But I was paying him…until two people told me I was nuts because he has no legal ground to stand on. One of these people was a house insurance adjuster years ago. The other is an astrologer and counselor. So no lawyers.

I would never listen to ONE person. But two people with life experience*, told me I was insane for paying him monthly payments.

*I try not to take advice from my mom because she has no life experience. Hell, I have more life experience than her. When people say, “Mom knows best.” I always say in my head, “You have NO IDEA.” Whatever she tells me, it is pretty safe to do the opposite thing.

Anyhow, the issue is there was water UNDER the house. I had no idea it was there. He told me when I moved out, and he inspected the house. So people feel like I shouldn’t have to pay. Plus, I never signed anything promising to pay him. Here is what I’ve been emailing to lawyers:

I moved out of a house in late 2018. I have been paying my ex-landlord $500 a month for water damage to the home since 2019. I didn’t know the water damage was there. The water damage happened under the house, so there was no way for me to know. He inspected the home after I moved out. I did not cause water damage. However, I did know that something was strange because the water would keep going off and on for days at a time. I would like to see if I have to continue paying him. We have a verbal agreement. I did not sign anything stating I would pay him. He says I owe him about $14,000 in damages.

If anyone would like to give me advice in the comments (bad or good), feel free. I already contacted a lawyer, but I have to call on Tuesday to make an appointment to see her in person. I hope I can see her ASAP. The ex-landlord called me today, but my voicemail was full. So I’m thinking about leaving it full until I talk to a lawyer…but what if the lawyer calls? I can try to be with my phone 24/7 to screen calls. That is what I’ll probably try to do. But realistically that is impossible.

So that’s that. I borrowed from my 401k, but I don’t currently have enough to pay a lawyer. Plus, I need brake pads for my car. I might have to borrow again IF I have to pay for a lawyer. 😦  So much money coming out of my paycheck. I don’t know how I’m going to pay for anything. But this is Labor day weekend. Stay calm. There’s nothing I can do until Tuesday.

I’m still working on creating the astrology course. I have a free email course (to get people to subscribe to my email list) starting next Monday. So far, I have zero signups. I only have been advertising since Friday night, though. No paid advertising for anything at all. Unfortunately, it costs at least $250 to effectively advertise so fuck that. I don’t have that. (see above).

People with money succeed because they can pay for advertising. Notice how hard it is for someone without money. How can you pull yourself up by your bootstrap if you have NO bootstraps? But I’m 100% calm right now.

Election 2020: I’m done with these Biden idiots. Go ahead and vote for him in the primary, and he will lose in the general election. He couldn’t even remember Obama’s name.  He tried to remember it, stumbled a bit and then said, “my old boss” Hello?? Geez.

Some say Trump won’t run in 2020. I believe he hates being president (accept having the title), but I think he will run. I don’t trust any Republican politician to run the country…even a moderate. But I would rather have a moderate Republican than Trump. Joe Walsh is very conservative. He’s another Trump, but maybe less brash. He probably has feelings. That’s another difference. I’m not sure about the other people running or thinking about running.

The debate is going to be 3 hours on ABC. Yay…not! I was happy at first, but then I found out they will only get 75 seconds to answer a question. Bummer. May as well give them the 60 seconds. Sigh. Fun times.

This week I…

Music of the week: Taylor Swift, Ellie Goulding, Kesha, Lindsay Lohan, Tanya Tucker, Mariah Carey, Coldplay, Lizzo

TV of the week: Big Brother, 13 Reasons Why

Podcasts of the week: All in With Chris Hayes, 30 for 30, Tarot for the Wild Soul

30 for 30 – The Donald Sterling Story is the best podcast ever. I was listening to it one night while trying to fall asleep. Big mistake. I was so anxious, and I couldn’t stop listening. Good stuff.

Books of the week: 

I finished reading A False Report: A True Story of Rape in America by T. Christian Miller and Ken Armstrong. Coming to Netflix soon. Good book, but as you can tell by the title, there are disturbing scenes.

Weekend Plans: I worked all day today. At my day job (without pay) and astrology stuff. I didn’t even get a nap in. Nothing too exciting is going on. I have Labor Day off. Last year I worked overtime. I will probably still work for 2 hours just to be sure things start off well for September. I have to fit some reading in. Most of the books listed above are library books.

Thanks for reading this long entry. Have a nice weekend! 🙂

What can I say?​

OMG. No one told me making an online course was this hard. A good thing about this is that I’m also creating my own astrology eBook along with this course. So even if the course doesn’t sell, I can sell the eBook for about $20. If someone buys the ebook and then wants to take the course, I would offer them $20 off the course.  I’m really excited about the eBook because people may not want to spend $97+ on the course, but I’m confident I can sell the book.

My launch date for the course is October 2. I have never scheduled anything due to astrology. Ever. But I’ve always known I wanted to release this course on a personally good day for me. September looks abysmal (as far as astrology goes). But the first week of October seems good.

Anyway, October 2 may as well be tomorrow because I still have to promote the course with a bunch of FREE stuff. That’s a lot of work.  I’m creating a free mini-course on the moon. Sigh. Another course. LOL. But this is only focusing on the moon, so it won’t be as long as a full course.

I just want to tell everyone creating a good online course is super hard. :/ It’s also enjoyable sometimes.

Election 2020: I haven’t watched the news in 5 days. Best break ever. I encourage everyone to do the same. 😉 So I don’t have too much to say. I’m still supporting Elizabeth Warren and Julian Castro. Oh, poor Joe Biden. They are limiting his campaigning. I feel bad for him, but he can’t be the nominee. It’s sad that people that aren’t following the news AT ALL are voting in the primary. Anyone following anything can see Joe isn’t okay. His (mental) health isn’t right. If he is the nominee, I think Trump wins for sure. He won’t be able to debate him or say much at all. I wish he would drop out because too many people who aren’t paying attention will vote for him. Save America!! Don’t vote for Joe! 

This week I…

Music of the week: Tori Kelly, Mariah Carey, Lizzo, Ed Sheeran, Rachael Sage, Ariana Grande, Maggie Rogers, Victory

TV of the week: Big Brother, Big Little Lies

Podcasts of the week: True Crime Garage, Crime Junkie, Pod Save America, Tarot for the Wild Soul, The Clearing

Books of the week: 

Weekend Plans: Well, today is Sunday. I’ve spent most of the weekend creating my astrology course. I also watched the second season of Big Little Lies during the free HBO weekend. I enjoyed it. No working overtime this weekend. I had a good weekend overall. I just wish I could have gotten more done with my astrology course.

Thanks for reading. Have an excellent weekend. 🙂