What the fuck did I just do?

I am dying. This is real BREAKING NEWS: I am going to see Gabrielle Bernstein live in Los Angeles on January 20!!!! Hotel booked. Flight booked. Gabby booked. Am I nuts or what? ROFL.

This is insane. I’ve never been to Los Angeles. I’ve never been to California. The closest I’ve been is Las Vegas. I can’t believe it. WTF? This isn’t just about Gabby. Well, I wouldn’t have gone to LA without her book signing thing (more on that later). But I kind of wanted to get away NOW instead of doing Kripalu in July. I’m very sad that I’m not attending Kripalu in 2018. 😦 I really, really, wanted to go. But the price is so high.

Oh, and I also got a VIP ticket. Hahaha. I had to, right? All I get is 4 copies of the book and what am I going to do with all those copies?? I get priority access to her book signing. I am going to meet Gabrielle Bernstein. And there are two other online workshop things I get for the VIP thing.

The 4 books thing is nuts. I already have the Kindle version coming on January 2 and then I’m probably going to get the Audible version because I have a credit and I don’t know what else to buy with it. Then I’m going to have at least one book signed by Gabby. That book I’m keeping forever. Obvs. The 3 other books…not sure. I don’t want to give people books called The Judgement Detox because they might think I think they are judgemental. Lol. I’m not doing that. I will probably just leave one with a note somewhere, and maybe a kindred soul might find it.

WHO CARES ABOUT THE 4 BOOKS? I just booked a trip to see Gabby Berstein in LA!!! Is that not crazy?

Btw, it’s not just a book signing. She is giving a talk and doing a Q & A. Gabby is my favorite motivational speaker. It’s a blessing to get to see her speak live. The book signing is after the talk.

I’m staying in downtown LA because I want to be able to walk to where I want to go. At this point, all I’m planning on doing is walking to The Grammy Museum and The Staples Center (30-minute walks). Everything else I want to do is much closer. I’m going to the Grand Central Market and the LA River. That’s it. I’m not going to be there long, and I’ve never really wanted to go to LA. So I don’t feel like I’m missing anything.

Yeah, I could have seen Gabby in NYC, BUT I’m going to see Marianne Williamson on January 6. I couldn’t do both. I thought about canceling Marianne since it is easy to do but I really want to see her talk in person.

Anyway, I’m insane, and I’m going to LA on January 19 for two nights. 🙂 I still can’t believe it. Do people do shit like this? What is going on? Okay, I’ll stop. I will have more to say about this when the date gets closer. I will provide links to my itinerary and stuff like that later. I know people can’t wait (<— sarcasm)

This week I…

Music of the week (my top 8): Taylor Swift, Kelly Clarkson, Pink, Sam Smith, Ed Sheeran, Tim McGraw, Demi Lovato, Halsey

TV of the week: basketball, news, RHOBH, Survivor

Movie of the week: None

Podcasts of the week:  A Killing on the Cape, Pop Shop Podcast, True Crime Garage, All In With Chris Hayes, The Lively Show

Books of the week: I didn’t get to finish reading all of  What Happened by Hillary Rodham Clinton. From what I read, it is a great read. I skipped over a lot of the parts on Russia because I’m so sick of hearing about Russia. Other than that it was enlightening.

Now reading:

Planner update: Plans of the week in my Erin Condren


Plans for the Weekend: Who cares? I’m going to see Gabby Bernstein in LA!!!111!!! Can I be more obnoxious? Yes, I can but I won’t. I have 3 days off next week! YAY. I’m going to get Showtime for a week and watch everything I can before I have to cancel. lol. I finished shopping for December 25th. Thank the Universe. I still have to buy my mom one small thing for her birthday, but other than that I’m done with gifts. I bought my dog a $10 toy for Xmas. That might be normal for some people, but that is absurd for me.

I still have school work to do. I must blog about this dismal course later. It is not looking good folks. Lots to say about this.

Quick Abilify update: I’ve been off Abilify for 8 whole days. I think I feel okay, but sometimes I feel a hint of a wave of sadness if that makes any sense. So I dunno. Will blog about this later too.

I’ve got to read my Bible and get ready to listen to a podcast so I can fall asleep. It took all afternoon for me to book everything and I’m a nervous wreck right now. I better go.

Have a wonderful weekend! Thank you for reading. 🙂

B-day vacay 2017

I’m back. Obvs. I don’t know where to begin. I took tons of pics, but a lot of them are repetitive. I wish I could say my dog was 100% good, but there was one issue. He messed up the front door of the cabin! He tore some of the siding (???) off. I don’t know if they will charge me for it. I pray they don’t. Seriously. It doesn’t affect how the door works. It just looks bad in one little spot. That is the only thing he did. Otherwise, he was an angel.

This was my view from my eating spot:


Isn’t it gorgeous? I especially loved eating breakfast out there. Nothing beats that view in the morning. Btw, I love eating outside and will do that any chance I get.

We went out to eat for my birthday. We ate outside on the patio. Here’s the view:


The picture really doesn’t do it justice. I love water. The food was great. I had a bacon cheeseburger. 🙂

Here is a pic of the cabin’s living room:


I meant to take more pics of the inside of the cabin. The cabin was very nice. I’m used to staying in the one bedroom, so this cabin was huge to me.

We went to the beach. It took forever to get there because the GPS wouldn’t put me on the highway. But it was worth it.


There is also a mini beach at the state park. I went there twice with my dog. Here is my favorite pic of the state park’s beach:


I meditated out there on Thursday. It was heavenly. If only I could always meditate on a beach.

Here are a few more random pics of my dog:

DSCN0418 (3)

DSCN0397 (2)

Overall, the trip was a blast. My mom and I are so different. That almost cause friction. But I should know how she is and plan accordingly. I plan on blogging about this more. It was a spiritual test for sure, and I barely passed. Even though it was a vacation week, I have to end this entry with…

This week I…

Music of the week: Lea Michele, Britney Spears, Joseph, Chris Stapleton, Rachel Platten, Ellie Goulding, Hailee Steinfeld, India.Arie

TV of the week:  Pretty Little Liars

Movie of the week: None

Books of the week: I finished reading  Night by Elie Wiesel and May Cause Miracles: A 40-Day Guidebook of Subtle Shifts for Radical Change and Unlimited Happiness by Gabrielle Berstein.

Still reading  A Course in Weight Loss: 21 Spiritual Lessons for Surrendering Your Weight Forever by Marianne Williamson,  A Course in Miracles and  A Course in Miracles Made Easy: Mastering the Journey From Fear to Love by Alan Cohen.

Planner update: Plans of the week in my Erin Condren


Plans for the Weekend: I need to get serious about studying for my certification exam. I’m retaking a practice exam because I don’t know what else to do to prepare this weekend. I’m cleaning my house on Saturday, and I’m going to try to dog proof it more. He is such a high jumper. He can reach almost everything. That’s a big problem.

Have a nice weekend! Thanks for reading. 🙂

in my dreams I’m waking up to roses

I interrupt this gloomy blog to say: This hotel is awesome!!! 🙂 😉 I made it to NOVA (aka Northern Virginia) around 5PM yesterday.

The only downside is that their is a surcharge for internet access. Normally I would never book a hotel that doesn’t have free internet access. I’m not sure why I did…but I’m glad to be here. I have internet until 7:45 tonight. I only paid for 24 hours. I’m leaving tomorrow (Sunday) so that’s fine.

I could live here. This place is like an apartment. THERE IS A (free) BREAKFAST BUFFET with real food. You don’t have to make your own waffles. I don’t even eat waffles but I had one today. The many chairs and bed is so comfy. I love it. They even offer free drinks (alcohol). When I found this out I said a little too loudly:

Let’s get wasted!!!

The hotel security looked at me suspiciously. LOL. I don’t even drink. However, it is free and I might try a drink tonight. I don’t know.

I just drove my mom to her business meeting. I don’t know what to do now. Oh, I’m so glad the Redskins are playing out of town. We would never be able to get home. Yesterday I was freaking out because I the obsessed sports fan, completely forgot that the Redskins play here…on Sundays. Eventually I found out they are on the road. YAY! The last thing I want to run into is that traffic. I would never get home.

Back to the hotel: The lobby looks like a 5 star place. It has this gorgeous waterfall. If I can’t be at the beach, that is the next best thing. 🙂 People get married here. I totally get why. I really need to stop gushing and figure out what I’m going to do today.

It’s raining a little. At 3PM, I’m going to the mall. But I have about 6 hours to kill. I may go to the park – yeah in the rain. What else is there to do? If I were a Redskin fan, I would drive by there and take pictures but um, I sorta hate the organization (versus the players – it is hard to hate them when I see them on TV constantly).

(I have taken pictures of the hotel but I don’t know when I’m going to post them. I lost my camera cable. In fact, I have a ton of pics to post but I can’t until I find the cord).

Oh well.

Don’t Forget

I was going to start with, “I’m in the midst of a nervous breakdown” but that would be inaccurate. I have been in this state for a while. It sucks but it could be much worse…I’ve been there.

I will be traveling to northern Virginia on Friday for two nights. I’m taking my mom on a business trip. I’m not looking forward to it. I have to drive there after work. I really wish my mom could drive. I’m going to try my best to be in a good mood but ugh, getting up at 5AM to go to work and then driving near DC. *Groan*. I’m just a ray of sunshine right now. Sorry.

As of right now I have no plans to go to DC. I’ve been there numerous times but it would be nice to see the new MLK monument. Or maybe the White House. The last time I was outside of there was when Bush was the Pres. But I’m sorta over DC….I think. I don’t know. I haven’t packed. We do have a nice hotel suite. (not expensive – it isn’t that close to DC). And I shouldn’t complain about my mom not driving because she is paying for the whole trip. I will probably buy the food.

What fun. Northern VA, whatcha got? Besides a mall, a “zoo” and a park? I’m so going to that mall. 🙂 I usually skip that part of VA and head straight to DC so I’m not that familiar with the area. I got lost there once. Not fun. I do want to go to the park. I might do that while my mom is doing her business stuff.

I love hotels and just getting away…even if there isn’t a beach. Sorry again, I have the Sunday blues or something.

I’m either starting yoga this week or next. This week probably isn’t a good idea since I have so much to do for the short trip. I think I’ll save it for when life is less a stressful.
As I do every few years, I’ve been reading a bit about asexuality. It just confirms that I don’t identify with a sexual orientation. I identify more as female* than a certain sexual orientation, or my ethnicity. I just don’t think about sex so why would that be an issue in my life? I do find other people’s stories extremely interesting. Sex really complicates things, doesn’t it? I don’t need that and I don’t have that problem. Thank the Buddha!

*I used to not identify with being a female at all but things have changed over the years.

I did go to a gay center. It is not what you think!!! They have a thrift store (lol). The money they raise there supports the gay center. I broke one of my rules. I brought TWO books. I’m a bad, bad girl. There was so much stuff to sift through. I was just looking for sweaters (oh and I found the book section). I brought 1 blazer, 1 blouse, 2 jackets, 1 sweater and 2 books for about $15. Not bad.

gotta get outta this town


Leaving won’t solve a thing because I’m desperately trying to organize my house. I will have to enjoy my trip without thinking about a mess at home…but I dunno. This is a less than ideal situation. I’m slightly bummed. I need sleep. Fuck.