In the homestretch of the hard times

I haven’t blogged in so long, I forgot how to start a post. 10,000 people want things from me, but I want to fucking blog.

I have two paying virtual assistant clients. One just paid me $75.00. I am charging her $15 per hour. So yeah, I’m only supposed to be working 5 hours a week for her. Five hours every week…forever, I hope.

Her books are a bit of a mess. I’m trying to fix it for her. I’ve never worked with a product-based service provider before. I’ve never done bookkeeping before.  So I don’t really know what I’m doing. Shhh! I have until next week to figure this shit out if I want to get paid again.

The other job is paying only $10 per hour in the beginning. It’s a Pinterest job. People get paid $25+ per hour to do Pinterest, so I don’t mind starting out at the bottom. I would love to just do Pinterest and get paid $25 an hour.  I did Pinterest for my own biz, and I’ve taken a whole course, so I know Pinterest well. And I think I want to be a Pinterest manager, so I can quit my job and maybe afford health insurance??

Last weekend was scary. I thought I was going to lose my job this past Monday. Instead, she wanted to promote me! No extra money. No extra duties. Thank god. I’m already stressed out. It’s just a title change. So whatever. At least I didn’t get fired, and I still have my health insurance.

I was so stressed, I did Gabby Berstein’s meditative workout outside. It was so nice. Sometimes I just need Gabby. I’m trying to look for more spiritual leaders, but I always come back to her. Plus, I’m in her membership, so I have access to a lot of her stuff.

I have so much stuff to do. It’s 8PM on a Friday night, and I haven’t started anything. Gotta go. But not before….

Election 2020: I don’t know whether I’m voting for president. I do believe we have maybe a senate race on the ballot, so of course, I’ll vote for that. Fuck Trump. I feel bad for Biden. Really bad. I might give him a sympathy vote. I have a while to decide.

FUCK THE GOVERNOR FOR CANCELLING MY BIRTHDAY. Okay, I get. But really?! My birthday should be a national holiday. How dare he cancel it? Trump didn’t cancel my birthday (yet). But the Democratic governor did, and you want to know why I call myself an independent?

Okay, seriously. The governor closed the state until May 30th 2+ weeks ago. BEFORE NEW YORK DID. My birthday plan was to go to the state park and stay for three nights. The cabins and camping grounds are closed, so I can’t do that. The park is still open, but I’m not driving 90 minutes to visit the state park. It’s not that great. I go for mostly for the cabin.

I have a week off for my birthday and nowhere to go. I will go to the local park unless they close that too. I doubt it. The playgrounds are closed, of course. I’m off April 16 and 17th, so I will take my dog to the park and see how crowded the park is then. I will wear a mask.

I really have to go. My dog’s birthday has been canceled too. His birthday is around April 26. Yes, I’m a bad mom for not knowing his birthday. All I know is that he is a Taurus, just like his mom.

This week I…

Music of the week: Ellie Goulding, Tori Kelly, Jillette Johnson, Maren Morris, Pia Toscano, Rachel Platten, Aretha Franklin, Ariana Grande

TV of the week:  The Affair

Podcasts of the week:  Dateline, Pod Save America, Someone Knows Something

Books of the week:

Weekend Plans: Working.

Thanks for reading! Have a great weekend. 🙂


I hate people

But you already knew that.

It is so hot. I didn’t even sleep much last night. It was over 100 degrees in my bedroom until about 1 AM. It was probably near 110 degrees. I’m not kidding. I had to go somewhere else until midnight. Today is supposed to be hotter. I can’t concentrate with heat that high. The good thing is that some of next week will be in the 80s. YAY. But then we have August. Ugh.

I don’t have or want kids because I value my free time. People with kids don’t value it as much as I do, or they would not have had kids. It’s funny how that never occurs to people.  Some people choose not to have kids because they don’t like them, but I bet one of the top 3 reasons would be free time. Kids are expensive too. That rounds out most people top three reasons to not have kids. Freedom to travel or do whatever is kind of free time plus kids are expensive.

My TV is stuck on CNN right now, and I feel like I’m losing brain cells. How can anybody watch this crap? I have it muted, and it is oh so bad. I must admit that anyone who doesn’t like politics will probably hate MSNBC because that is 90% of what they cover. Sometimes I get frustrated at them because they won’t cover anything besides politics. Fox is like a bad combo of CNN and MSNBC. They discuss the weirdest crap. Random shit.  Fox kills brain cells. Everyone knows that. It’s okay to watch for entertainment but run if someone takes it seriously. RUN.

I think I’m suffering from heatstroke. Or it may just be the lack of Abilify. But I usually don’t feel symptoms from Abilify withdrawal for maybe 2 weeks? Anyway, I can no longer sit in my 100-degree bedroom anymore. I’m so glad I only worked half a day of overtime. I wanted to work an extra hour, but the heat was already getting to me plus I thought why not just get off a little early. It’s not like I’m getting paid time and a half for it because I only worked 16 hours and that includes so-called overtime.

I’m so sick of people right now. I think there’s something in the water. It might be Mercury Retrograde. Mercury is about communication, commerce (don’t make any big purchases during the retrograde!), and other things. So I’m thinking that along with the eclipses are just making me rage. Or it could be people’s behavior? Or it could be the lack of Abilify is already kicking in? And I have nothing to take in place of it because it costs $1200. Sigh.

I wish everyone would borrow some Taurus traits. Hahaha. We are quiet. We are the most introverted sign of all the zodiac signs. We are loyal and by far the best employees because we don’t complain. We just do what we are told. We are not good entrepreneurs, but America values good workers, so we are valued. We are reliable. Yes, we can be stubborn, but we keep these thoughts to ourselves instead of gossiping about people behind their backs. Don’t take advantage of us, or we will eventually explode with anger. So watch out for that. Oh, and never mess with the routine of a Taurus. NEVER. That also makes us angry. You won’t see it, but one day we will explode. Hopefully, you won’t be there when we do it. God help you if you are.

Taurus is great for the world. Appreciate us, dammit. 🙂

Election2020: The debates rosters are set. Whatever. I think I’m over Marianne Williamson. She has always rubbed me a little wrong because she is more conservative than me. She doesn’t believe depression is a thing. I hate that I’m going to cut ties with her officially over this, but I’m not surprised. If a random person said the things she said, I wouldn’t support them. For the record, I supported her because of her A Course In Miracles teachings. But I think she’s too stubborn to be president. She does what she wants. Believes what she wants. This was confirmed by how she ran for Congress the first time. Many believe she wasted a ton of money because she did things her way.

Temporarily over her and 100% for Elizabeth Warren…and Julian Castro. 🙂  Julian is on my list because he is strongly for justice reform. I don’t understand why his ratings didn’t go up more after the debate. Either he doesn’t have enough funds, or he isn’t a good campaigner. I do think he could use a little more passion in media interviews. He always seems so tired. I feel bad for him. Is he always tired or is that just his personality.

This week I…

Music of the week: Ed Sheeran, Britney Spears, Beyonce, Sugarland, Bishop Briggs, Keyshia Cole, Lauren Daigle, India.Arie

TV of the week: Big Brother, Grey’s Anatomy

Podcasts of the week: True Crime Garage, Pod Save America, The Lowe Post, Why Is This Happening

Books of the week: Now reading:

Weekend Plans: Well, today is Saturday. I was supposed to work more on creating my online course. I still have time for tonight, so I guess I should do that. I like feeling inspired. LOL. Everything is just all fucked up because of boundaries or the lack thereof. I did get a lot of accomplished on my days off. But I kind of started over again with the course because I felt like the first module sucked. So there’s that. People suck.

Thanks for reading my rants. Have a great, nice rest of the weekend! 🙂

Today has been okay

Welcome to May! This is my favorite month of the year. It will be a little busy this year but not too bad. Plus busy is good…sometimes. In other words, I’d rather be working than not.

With all this talk of Baltimore,  I want to go to the Inner Harbor so bad right now. We used to go all the time. I miss that. Gotta get back to Maryland. (not to make light of what happened in Baltimore)

I joined Nutrisystem! It is expensive (to me). The plan was to do it for one month but now I think I want to do it for 2 months and then I will cancel. This is assuming I like it. I chose it because it involves no calorie or point counting.  How can I not mention the best part? They send you food. 🙂  I weigh about 142. I want to weigh 125 but I’ll take 130. My biggest concern is that I will lose the weight but then gain it back once I’m off Nutrisystem. I joined for the TOOLS to continue it once I cancel. I want to learn how to eat 6 small meals a day. Right now I eat 2 times a day and sometimes a snack (protein bar). Obviously that is not working for me.

My food will arrive in 4-10 days. I go grocery shopping next Saturday. I hope I have my food by then so I can know what I need to buy from the store.


Random time: I just recorded my 3rd youtube video. It was an unboxing video. Those are fun to record. I’m surprised it came out okay. I only did one take because I wanted it to be an authentic reaction. It has 27 views so far.

I said I would go anywhere to see D’Angelo on tour. Sigh. He is coming to my state BUT the seats are general admission only. I don’t do GA. I’ve never done it and don’t wish to. I like to have a seat. What a concept!! So…At least I did see him once but I’d rather see him on this tour. 😦 Bummer.

This Week I…

Music of the week: Lissie, Butterfly Boucher, Meghan Trainor, Mary J. Blige, Imagine Dragons, Kendrick Lamar, Alanis Morissette, Laura Marling

Watched: NBA playoffs, PLL, American Idol, James Holmes trial

Books of the week: Reconciliation by Thich Nhat Hanh

Bad Feminist: Essays by Roxanne Gay – I just brought something fuchsia and I love it. Does that make me a bad feminist? 😉  (joke based on the book). I don’t even know if I would be considered a feminist by others. I know 10 years ago, I was far from being a feminist compared to now. Lots of good points in this book on privilege.

Walked: (updating this on Sunday)

#ListersGottaList: Signs I am a Taurus –


Planner update:


I wrote my May goals in my planner. I might share them here in my next entry.

Few days down

I feel like I have to post because so much has been going on. I’m going to stop changing my theme…once I like it. I don’t like the colors.

Re: my last post. My manager loved how organized my notes were. She didn’t get a chance to delve in.

I had my first beer today. My mom had her first pedicure (thanks to moi – heh). I didn’t get anything done. Although I need a mani and a pedi. They weren’t busy so the manicurist (?) kept asking, “Do you want anything done?” I know my nails look like crap. But unless you are paying for it how many times do I have to say NO? Happy Mother’s Day. Um, the beer sucked. It was non alcoholic but I don’t think that makes any difference. It smelled like alcohol. How do people drink that ish? I would rather drink Gatorade than drink a beer. Gatorade & beer = worthless.

I only stayed at the flea market for 3 1/2 hours. I have to do a post on how to sell Avon at a flea market since Google sends some of those inquires here. Most of my jewelry sold. More probably would have sold if it weren’t windy. I couldn’t put any of my earrings on the rack because the rack kept falling down! Everybody’s displays were flying so no one had the normal displays up. Who knew it would be so windy? The wind never calmed down the 4 hours I was there. I still got to display my necklaces and wow, they went fast.

I couldn’t stand the necklaces up either. But I used the stand (pictured) and just laid it flat. It worked. The people were gracious especially when I gave them nice gift boxes for the necklaces. 90% knocked a dollar or two off everything. I didn’t mind much because I really wanted everything to go. I also got paid a lot in change which was strange to me but money is money. I guess they wanted to get rid of it.

I only brought $2.00 worth of stuff at the flea market! Victory. I brought a book, two pillows and a pair of jeans. Yes all for $2.00. I paid in quarters since that is what I got. ha. No I really don’t need another pair of Tommy Jeans but they were only a dollar. I’m wearing them tomorrow. This is my second used pair of Tommy Jeans. Are they a fashion faux paus? I ask because I once wore my other used pair to a concert and a teenage girl made some rude/unnecessary comments about them. Anyway I don’t care. I just know they last longer than a pair of $20 new jeans I would buy so….

I’m getting nervous/overwhelmed about going to New York. Not because of the recent news. People have to live and work there everyday.  I mean nothing is guaranteed. I could get into a car accident tomorrow. I’m nervous because I still have stuff to do and I’m not used to going to somewhere new. I’ve been there before but I was really young so that doesn’t count. Next week at this time, I’ll be in New York. It is 9:47PM and who knows what I will be doing a week from now. I wrote  a list of a few places  I would like to go. I would like to blog about that before I leave…if I have time.

I also turn 30 a week from today. 😉 Happy birthday to all the Taureans out there. We rock!

Taureans unite

I have to get ready to go to a concert (more on that later) but I found an accurate description of Taurus persons or Taureans. I’m not heavily into astrology. But this description is dead on…for me. I have used these words to describe myself in silly online bios. Anyhow I am posting this not only because I am a Taurus but b/c Kelly Bensimon is one too (for the RHoNYC fanatics). LOL. Maybe this will explain some things.

Taurus persons tend to be strongly hedonistic, cool customers. They live primarily through the pleasures of their senses. This is the more solid and pragmatic sign in the zodiac. It brings a lot of practicality and earthly sensibility. It is very utilitarian and seeks real, useful results for its efforts. This sign may be seen as lazy by some, but that is because it is strongly motivated by reward, and lack of such prize for its efforts tends to drain it of energy. Aries influences can alleviate this.

This sign is not psychologically equipped to deal with conflict and suffering, which reveal its more neurotic, sometimes brutal side. It does not take well to threats, to disrespect or to rigid or overly burdensome demands, and can be quite resentful in the face of these. This is much more a sign of love and pleasure, where he usually much prefers to dwell, but badly afflicted charts can reveal that more problematic side.

Taureans have a great longing to something special, exciting. This is the grounds for the great possessiveness within this sign, as anything that’s considered special to them is held dearly, fiercely protected. On this basis, this sign also tends to be faithful, and it is usually rather respectful as well. It is usually a strongly loyal sign, but only until it starts feeling disrespected or encroached upon, then the rebellious side can undermine this.

They really hate discomfort, and can become quite preoccupied with avoiding it. These natives tend to dislike hard work, and often seek a way to delegate it. They are more inclined to seek occupation in fields they like, so that it does not become too much of a pain. Strong Saturn influences may alleviate these tendencies to some degree. Taurus is usually a subscriber to “slowly but surely”. It usually prefers to hold back than to risk himself.

There is some reserve in the Taurus personality, which is in effect a preservative and protective disposition. There is a strong dislike of unapproved external encroachment upon their personal space, which is very important in this sign. Taurus can be pretty good at keeping secrets.

Most Taureans have a good, earthy sense of humor. Earthy humor is one that is keen and more sophisticated than just excessive silliness or lighthearted joking.

As of the neurotic structure of this sign, these natives may be emotionally susceptible to superstition. Taurus tends to love animals a lot.

Little acknowledged trait of Taurus is its rebellious nature, which often manifests as stubbornness. This rebelliousness is especially pronounced when Taurus feels it is not appreciated, not taken into consideration, belittled or otherwise disrespected, then it becomes extremely willful and difficult, sometimes even contrarian. Forcefulness also brings this about in him. This rebelliousness rises from certain frustrations that make up this personality type, but this kind of behavior is actually in contrast to the fundamental, reasonable and rational earthy nature of this sign. It may be used as a kind of power-play, as Taurus tends more toward passive-aggressiveness than to outright aggression – perhaps because this method offers less of a risk. Then other times what has been said just does not make any earthy sense.

It should be noted that calling Taurus people “stubborn” does not incur any favors either. Sometimes it just makes the problem worse, rather than addressing any issue that may have caused such attitude.

Taurus’ rebelliousness may find other, more refined expressions in Taurus’ life.

In keeping with its association with Venus, Taurus has greatly heightened senses, and has a tendency to deal with sensual things more often than other signs. Taurus can be strongly moved by physical beauty. In fact, some Taurus people, especially Taurus ladies often find themselves delving in fields of aesthetics or cosmetics. These natives crave closeness and touch, but do not let just anyone get so close. They need to trust. This sign usually enjoys music very much. Sexuality also tends to be strong in Taurus. (<——WHAT???!)

Strong Pluto influences can cause debauchery in Taurus unless Saturn is also strong.

Taurus is the sign of security, and as such the need to feel secure is an important facet of this sign. Accordingly, it is somewhat less likely to take risks than other signs, certainly uncalculated ones. It often takes extra measures to ensure its security, though in this light it may sometimes be considered controlling by some. Taurus can even be brutal when robbed of its sense of security.

There is usually a conservative attitude to money, but on the other hand these natives may have a difficult time resisting their desires. In a difficult chart emotional well being can be closely associated with the monetary status and the ability to expend as a compensation for bad feelings.

There are usually some fixations in the Taurus personality, which may perplex other signs. They tend to stick with patterns and experiences they know, as this makes up their sense of being, and makes them feel secure and comfortable. In a more difficult chart this can transform to a full fledged obsessive-compulsive disorder. Tauruses often fixate on unshakeable, practical convictions. To some extent, a Gemini Mercury can alleviate some of the issues with this by reflecting a mind that is more on the dynamic side.

Although these are aware of some wickedness inherent within their natural melancholy, basic constructive drives within this sign usually make them go with the greater good. Even in the case a Taurus person does go down a wrong path, it will be more systematically conductive than just spite, and should be rewarding aplenty. That said, naturally they are actually more inclined to fall into depression than act in a full-fledged negative fashion, unless the chart is energized and focused.

In most cases it wants to do what is proper and fair. It can also have a soft spot for really nice people, even if they are a bit silly.

Normally, justice is more important here, especially social justice, and these individuals will seek to operate within their intellectual idea of what justice is. Usually that idea will be rather close to an objective notion of justice, unless there are problematic imbalances in the chart then there may be an overly critical and even brutal notion of justice. In any case these people are more willing to fight for their idea of justice and balance. They will have a hard time standing by when that idea of justice/balance in being violated, even if it involves complete strangers. Of course dealing with justice can become complicated as justice can sometimes be a subjective and even ambivalent thing. Forcing a definition may sometimes be more inappropriate than letting things be.

Sounds like any Taureans you know?

I can also vouch for this:

Taurus with Capricorn

These signs share the same basic element and so are more or less able to relate. Nevertheless, there are often communicational issues here as both signs tend to be reserved. These signs can efficiently come together in specific goals, but the natural remoteness and chilliness of both can cause difficulty on the personal level. Taurus needs something special and exciting to get over its natural melancholic facet, but minimalistic and business-minded Capricorn usually does not fulfill this need. In addition, tastes tend to be quite different between these signs. The association of these signs can cause depressive issues in Tauruses with weak moons.



* Economics – especially with 2nd house influences
o Money management and investments
* Sales, especially in stores
* Computers, as they have a knack for the logics of this field
* Crafts and design, music, art – especially with Venus of Venus influences
* Aesthetics and cosmetics – especially with the ladies of this sign
* Agriculture, gardening and horticulture – there’s usually a love of nature in this sign

I hate economics so much that I changed my major. But I can see the other things…well I’m not a people person so stores sales would drain me. Oh, and I know nothing about cosmetics. I’ve been thinking about getting into it though.
Have to get dressed. Running late.