I let you mess with my head

I’m listening to Gabby Bernstein because people are fucking assholes. I want to rant about Libras and Capricorns. You already know how I feel about Aries. But Libras and Capricorns THINK they are nice, but they can be mean. I have never met a Libra I would consider nice. They are smart and look down on people not as smart as they think they are. They are full of sarcasm. I hate that. Condescending BS.

You know what? These fucking people aren’t worth my time. Obviously. Right? I had a good day on Friday and a decent, productive day today. FUCK THEM!

I always remember who starts things. Always. I DIDN’T DO SHIT TO YOU.

I HAVE SHIT TO DO.

I have two live (as in on video) tarot readings to do. Yes, I’m scared shitless. And I feel like these people are pulling me away from FOCUSING. I kind of tested myself and I feel decent. One reading is tomorrow (Sunday) and the other is Tuesday. I’ve got this.

Paypal Credit can suck it too! I’m not paying them this month. I don’t have the money. I was going to pay them $30 or $60, but that doesn’t cover the minimum. My therapist would congratulate me on not paying. LOL! I will pay them eventually. I hope it is within 3 months. Ideally, it would be within 2 months, but I don’t know. I will work out some monthly plan. I won’t die…hopefully. I know they won’t die. But I don’t want to get more than 3 months behind.

I have shit to do. That should be my new motto. I’m ignoring (starting right now) certain people on social media. That sounds silly, but these people aren’t my friends. We don’t have any other connections. Oh, there is one person in real life getting on my nerves. I wish I could ignore her. Haha. Not possible.

We were never friends. I know that. She definitely knows that. I’m not good enough for her because I have no money. Okay, that was totally WRONG and snarky. I’m not a Libra, no need to act like that. I hope she isn’t vindictive like a Scorpio. I couldn’t take that.

I think Scorpios get a bad rap. Once they do the work on their past hurts, they can be awesome healers. I like their intensity. However, an unhealed Scorpio can be scary.

I needed to vent and rant. Lovely blog. I love my blog. Okay, that’s sarcasm. I love Gabby Berstein and my dog. Marie Forleo is okay too. 😉 I want to say Marie is my business role model, but I keep thinking I’m not like her. She’s an extrovert. She helps people start businesses. She can talk. etc.

Election 2020: I’m kind of sad that Beto dropped out of the race. I didn’t like that he called Elizabeth Warren ‘punitive’. He is too moderate for me, but I liked him on the debate stage. So freaking bummed that Castro won’t be on the debate stage on November 20th. And then there is Bloomberg. Whatever. Next.

This week I…

Music of the week: Miranda Lambert, Natasha Bedingfield, H.E.R, Ariana Grande, Lauren Daigle, Alessia Cara, Backstreet Boys, Beyonce

TV of the week:  Survivor, The Devil Next Door

Podcasts of the week: So You Wanna Be a Witch, Crimelines

Books of the week: I’m rereading  Everything is Figureoutable by Marie Forleo. I’m also rereading Super Attractor: Manifesting a Life Beyond Your Wildest Dreams by Gabby Bernstein. At first, I wasn’t crazy about Super Attractor. Now I can’t get enough. I’ve probably read it three times. I will probably read it 10 more times before the year is over. Who needs new books?

I need to finish Letting Go by David Hawkins. It’s about surrendering negative feelings. Think I need to do that. 😉

Weekend Plans: My therapist is nuts. She wants me to walk my dog twice a day for an hour. I don’t do the cold. I don’t leave my house when it’s cold. I hibernate. But you know what? I’m going to do it. I will walk him right after lunch and right after work. Did I mention that I hate the cold? I sort of hoping it rains on some days just so I have an excuse not to walk.

Tomorrow I’m taking my dog to the park in the morning. I’m really doing it because I want to get my mind off doing the video tarot reading. If I stayed in, I would probably drive myself crazy.

I hope I can get of my mind, tune in and give a good tarot reading tomorrow.

I keep on searching

My motivation to blog has just been…blah. Not really. I want to write more, but I am always working on my tarot stuff. I did take a break from the online course I wanted to create. Doing tarot and that was a bit much. I can’t do both. Plus I was just creating the online course for the extra money. Now that I’m moving back in with my mom, I don’t need the money NOW. It would be nice, but that was too much pressure. I did upload one module. So, I don’t know what’s going to happen with that. I do want to finish it, but I probably won’t start working on it again until February 2019. That is when I plan to take my first break from tarot. I will probably blog, but no youtube, and less Instagram.

I started my email list for tarot. If you have the link to my website, please visit to sign up! You will get a free meditation immediately. The meditation is for tarot readers, but I plan to do more IF that goes well. Or if I get better at recording meditations. I had a hard time finding the perfect music. I still don’t love what I picked. What I picked was free. There’s a track of the beach (my fave place in the world!) but it is $39. Okay. Maybe later. I just paid an insane amount of money to my landlord, so it ain’t happening now.

I wanted to go on a rant about people that believe tarot is about fortune telling, but I won’t. I’ll just say clearly they haven’t been in the “tarot community”. Most people frown on fortune telling. I have never had a reading done by a psychic tarot reader. Not that I’m against that. If a person is psychic, they don’t need tarot cards. What would be the point? I do know that psychic tarot readers exist, but they are in the minority. TAROT ISN’T ABOUT FORTUNE TELLING. Just do the research. Don’t let knowledge get in the way. Oh, was that a rant?

I got the trees/bushes cut down and trimmed so the plumber can get beneath the house. Now I have to call the plumber. I will probably email them tonight. I hate calling people. Hate it. This is all so expensive. Sigh. Whatever.

I should do a pros and cons list for moving back in with my mom. But first, my dad is coming back from overseas to move in soon! 😦 I really wanted to move in before he did for numerous reasons I’m not getting into. But maybe he’ll only stay a few months, and then we won’t overlap as much. My dog is going to have to be on a leash 100% of the time my dad is there (except when he is with me with the door is closed). That sucks. He doesn’t know my dad, so he doesn’t like him. He barks at him like he will attack.

Anyway, I will do a pro list for moving in with my mom. No conns tonight. That may come later. 😉

  • I will get to go to kundalini yoga twice a month. It’s $20 a class which would be the price of a gym membership. I will start going once I stop paying rent for this house.
  • I will have access to a treadmill again. My treadmill doesn’t currently work. I think it has dust in the engine. I haven’t really tried to play around with it.
  • I will have access to a washer and dryer again. Yay!
  • I will have access to a dishwasher. What a concept.
  • I will sleep in a bed again. Long story, but I now sleep on a sofa…with my dog.
  • I won’t have to pay high ass rent anymore. I’m still paying my mom something, but it’s not nearly as much. Initially, my money will go to paying off debt. Then it will go to debt and a downpayment on my dream house in the country. I hope to move out in 2 and a half years if I can stand living there that long. 

Those are the main things that I think of when I think of the good part about moving. There are so many cons. I don’t even want to think about them. That is why I won’t list them today.

Cute pic time:

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That’s my dog! He isn’t thrilled about moving because he won’t be able to go to the park every day. 😦 But we will walk every day when it is over 50 degrees. It is okay walking in my mom’s neighborhood. Nothing special. But I’ll take it. Nothing is as good as living in walking distance to the park.

Well, I’ve gotta go. I only had extra time today because I didn’t mow the lawn like I was supposed to. Bad girl. I don’t know what I’m going to do next. Probably something related to tarot. Then I will get into bed and try to finish the Aaron Hernandez book.

Bye!

My getaway, mentor and website

I’m feeling overwhelmed right now. My website is freaking LIVE. Like I said, I don’t expect anyone to find it for a while. I don’t have the SEO set up right on purpose. Not only that, I chose a mentor. I’m paying her for her services. She is going to mentor me for at least 90 days. I won’t mention her name. Eventually, I will have her name on my website in my About section so it won’t be a big secret. (Assuming it works out well). My sessions won’t start with her until June 29th. She is a very busy lady with a successful business. Uh, that’s why I chose her as my mentor. 🙂

Here is the link to my new website (erased) This won’t stay up long. Please bookmark it, if you would like to see how it progresses. I will probably erase it in 10 days or less on this post and the sticky post. I will probably link to it every 3 months or so. And then erase it again. It isn’t the best site right now because I’m still working on it.

Right now I feel like I have two full-time jobs. NOT A COMPLAINT. Lol. I’m glad to have my day job. Trust me. It’s just that I spend almost every waking moment working on tarot when I’m not a work. And that is how it will probably be for a while.

I’m starting to have minor chest pains because I’m so stressed right now. Stressed about the website and stressed about the mentor thing. Sigh. I didn’t get to take a nap after work because I had a short meeting with my mentor. We will eventually have twelve 90 minute meetings (!!!). Oh, I have to add that work isn’t helping. It’s unusually busy. I have no idea why.

Well, I had a great Getaway. LOL. It was wonderful. I got so much reading done. I might blog more about it later, but for now, since I want to get in bed with a book and relax here are a few photos:

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The above pic is the outside of the cabin. I LOVED IT! I could live there, but the cabins are kind of too close together for me. They claim they don’t want people to feel isolated. WTF? Have these people ever seen rural places? They don’t have neighbors for days! I live in the suburbs, right outside the city and I barely have close neighbors. Anyway, I could live there forever despite the other close cabins.

This is the outside area of the cabin. We didn’t spend much time here because all my dog wanted to do was eat the coal in the fire pit. :/

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This is the view from the bed. Did I say how much I loved this? My dog loved sitting on the ledge and watching nature. So nice.

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Here is the messy bed with the sheets I bought from home:

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The above pic is basically the whole cabin. Minus the small kitchen and the bathroom. My dog loved the bed. I loved the bed too. We don’t have this ish at home, so it was really, really, nice to be able to spread out and sleep. We spent a lot of time in bed together. I hope that doesn’t sound creepy. 😉

I have more to say about the Getaway. I might blog about it later if nothing major comes up. Right now I’m exhausted and feeling stressed out. So I’m going to go. I know people are worried about kids at the border and I’m going on and on about being stressed about my freaking website. That’s life. Bye!

There’s no rope to save me

Countdown:

ZERO days until my cabin Getaway (!!)

I read over the cabin Getaway rules again. They just sent this about a week ago. I forgot that they want us to take off our shoes as soon as we enter the cabin! That isn’t a huge deal to me because I hate wearing shoes and I always take my shoes off ASAP, but I hope I don’t forget. So no 10-minute showers, no dogs on the linens/bed/furniture, and no shoes on the floor. Why didn’t they tell us this before we booked? Oh, and no barking dogs.

I’m kind of worried about the barking dog thing. I WAS going to take a noise machine, and then my dog probably wouldn’t bark unless he saw someone or something out the window. But now I can’t even do that!! Another rule: no hair dryers or coffee makers because they might use up too much electricity and the power could go out. LOL. If a person can’t use a coffee maker, there’s no way I can take a noise machine and leave it on 24/7.

My dog barks whenever he feels threatened. He is like a watchdog. If he hears something, he’ll bark. If he sees someone on what he thinks is his property, he’ll bark. We can’t have that. I could get kicked out if he barks too much. Two complaints equal gone!  Sounds in the woods carry more than in most places. Sigh. I’m hoping it will be quiet. Well, at least I don’t have to pack my noise machine. I do have a noise app, but it’s not as good as a real noise machine.

My Tarot website is going live next Friday! Woohoo. 🙂  I’m kind of glad I won’t have internet access during my trip because I know I would spend hours working on the site. I will be reading and studying the tarot though so it won’t be a complete work-free vacation. I’m not advertising my site until I have all the tarot cards memorized. That should take less than a month from now. I’m going to start working on note cards tonight.

One of my big fears is that people will book a reading with me and I won’t be ready. I should have planned better as far as timing goes. I just wanted my website up ASAP. Without advertising, I don’t think many people will find it in the beginning. I don’t even have my SEO set up right.

WOW. I just got off the phone with the tarot reader. She was amazing. I took a ton of notes. Some of what she said matches the email reading I got a couple of months back. Interesting. Btw, it was supposed to be on Skype, but my power was out, and she’s on the road, so the phone was better for both of us.

The one thing that really stuck out was her saying not to go too rapidly with the tarot business. I AGREE. Does that mean I shouldn’t open my website? See, I think if I don’t advertise, no one is really going to know I even have a tarot business. I know my site might come up in searches, but I don’t have that set up right on purpose. So, I don’t think that many people are going to find my site. I’m only posting the link on this blog for a little while because I want to share it. I’m not doing any advertising on social media until the beginning of August.

She said:

  • Time for a change
  • Be patient
  • Time to be challenged
  • My brain is scared. My heart is ready.
  • I should do tarot readings in my community. (interesting)
  • I put other people first too much
  • My brain is throwing out the worst case scenario.
  • I’m playing the comparison game
  • Don’t play small.
  • I should explore my female ancestors.
  • I need to exercise and eat well.
  • Spend time in nature (I already do this).

I learned a lot. Took lots of notes. I also know how a phone reading should be done. However, now I still don’t know what a Skype reading is like. I have to do one in order to do my own someday. I could go on and on with how much I related to what she said, but this entry is already long enough. My power still isn’t on. There was a car accident. I hope everyone is okay.

UPDATE: I did what one is not supposed to do. She gave me the names of the cards she pulled and I went back and did a quick reading. It basically said I need to save all my money (no shit!) and that I’m NOT on the right path. Hmmm. The one thing I don’t like about Tarot readers is that some of them try to make things too positive. Hey, I do it too sometimes. I’ll give my thoughts more on this later. I still have to pack.

This week I…

Music of the week (my top 8 most listened to): Halsey, Lykke Li, Sugarland, Janelle Monae, Kesha, Dave Matthews Band, LeAnn Rimes, Natalie Merchant

TV of the week: The Handmaids Tale, Survivor

Movie of the week: none

Podcasts of the week: Fresh Air, True Crime Garage, So You Wanna Be a Witch, A Course in Miracles, Case File, The Lowe Post

Books of the week: 

Now reading –

I’m picking up four books from the library right before I leave for my trip this afternoon. All of the books are tarot or astrology related.

Planner update: Plans of the week in my The Charmed Life Planner (coming Sunday or Monday).

Plans for the weekend: VACATION!!!! 🙂 🙂 YAY! It’s supposed to be hot and no rain. I just hope we can spend a lot of time outdoors without having to drive somewhere. I’m still not sure about the location. Is it just cabins? Or are there places to walk? Anyway, I still have to pack. I am working today because I don’t want to miss training. I can’t afford to. I’m only working 4 hours, then we’re (my dog and me) going to the park, then to the library drive through to pick up my holds and then we are headed to the tiny cabin.

I could really use a break. Yes, I will spend some time working on the Tarot, but I hope to spend more time just relaxing. That’s why they call the company Getaway so people can put away work!

Thanks for reading. Have a great weekend! 🙂

Just let me live my life

Countdown:

15 days until my weekend getaway

I went to the tarot coaching call on Monday night. We have three more calls left before the class ends. I’m not going to any more of them. No, I’m not letting them “win.” I’m simply not advanced enough to participate in this class. To be more specific, I cannot do this shit LIVE and on camera. This is why I want to do email and YouTube readings in the future. Everything is not for everyone.

Julie (not her real name) clearly doesn’t want to be paired with me for readings because I don’t talk enough. I guess I’m not engaged enough. And probably other things.  She mentioned that so I know that to be true. Other people probably feel that way too. Some people are nice. But others are not so understanding of shy, introverted people. That seems to be the norm in the Western world. For all I know, Julie could be an introvert too. Whatever. It’s not about her.

The video meeting on Monday went okay, but when we were doing advanced channeling, I saw next to NOTHING. Why? Because I was so nervous and anxious. When I do channeling on my own, I do see things. I saw my spirit guide. I got a message. Anyway, I think I did okay on the reading. I read for Vera (not her real name). She asked a similar question to another person 2 weeks ago, and I pulled the same card for the present she got last time from another reader! So I think I’m good at doing the tarot. I’m just not good LIVE.

I’m excited about starting my tarot reading website. I will probably start working on it this summer. Yep, that is much sooner than I had originally planned. I’m off for a week starting July 30th. I would like to work on it full-time then. I’m going to start doing free career readings on Facebook very soon. I’m looking for places to start advertising. The one place I picked doesn’t seem keen on career readings. Everyone wants to know about their love life or how a person near death is doing. My mom has been asking for another reading, btw. So I must not suck that much. 😉

UPDATE: I could erase this whole entry. So much has changed since yesterday. But I will keep this up. Nothing bad happened, but I have 2 new ways I could make extra money. However, I’m not applying for another 6 weeks. More on all this later.

I have kind of decided what I want to do if I lose my job suddenly within the next two years. I either want to get my CDL license and drive a truck or move to Grenada, Nicaragua. If you knew me, you would ROFL about me getting my CDL license. I grew up terrified of big trucks…even when they were parked! I’m still kind of scared. But maybe if I get trained, I would be okay??? Lol.

Truck drivers get paid decently ($45,000 to $80,000 seems to be the range) and you get to do your own thing AKA not much dealing with other people. I’m not motivated by money, but I am motivated by spending hours by myself. Plus, my dog MIGHT be able to be with me every day (like he is now). I did some research, and police officers apparently don’t respect truck drivers at all. Sigh. I didn’t know that until I read many drivers complaints.  All of these complaints were from white males, btw. Of course, cars don’t respect truck drivers. I see that when I’m driving. And a female truck driver? Need I say anymore? Drawbacks include I wouldn’t be able to work on my tarot business easily or at all and drive a truck. And my dog might not be able to be with me on the truck. It seems to depend on the company. There’s also the training which isn’t cheap. I think the price range is $3,000 to $6,000. Ouch. If I were to get a job quickly after training, that price isn’t bad. But who knows?

The other option is moving out of the United States. I would move to Nicaragua. I’m also considering other places. The places I’m considering retiring to are multiple cities in South America, Central America or maybe Mexico. In fact, I’m planning on retiring and moving out of the US as soon as I can. I need to get rid of ALL debt first. Back to Nicaragua. I think that is best for NOW. I wouldn’t stay there forever.

I’ve been looking at house rentals in Grenada, Nicaragua. I would consider apartments, but what if the walls are thin like in America? I can’t live like that. Been there. On the other hand, what if the walls are much thicker? Then I would consider a condo/apartment. Since I don’t know about the walls, it has to be a house. I see a great house on the market now. It is $350 a month. 1 bedroom, 1 bath. It’s furnished. The rent includes a cleaning service. My concern would be safety. It is in the city center but can I walk to the grocery store alone? I won’t have a car, so another requirement is that I’m able to walk or take decent transportation to get necessities.

It’s a gorgeous house. It has a nice outside patio like area. Too bad I can’t grab that now. Can it stay on the market for 2-3 years? 😉 I’m also concerned about internet access. I need the internet to run my tarot business or to make any kind of money. If I were retired, I wouldn’t be concerned about the internet. Of course, I’m also concerned about my dog. I have to be able to take my dog. Some of the houses I was looking at in South America, do not allow dogs. 😦 I don’t know about this particular house in Grenada.

I just feel *a little* better with plans if I lose my job suddenly. Yes, even though the thought of driving a truck is a little scary, it excites me. I just wish the training were a little cheaper, but maybe I will be able to afford it in cash if I pay off my debt. I’ve wanted to move out of the US since I was 12. Needless to say, moving temporarily to Grenada thrills me. No, I don’t hate the US. I just like adventure. The world is big. Why should I stay here? I just have my dog to worry about. I’m not staying here for anyone else.

Update on the credit card situation: The credit card company couldn’t figure out how someone put Facebook charges on the new card I never got. Well, now they locked the new card (which should come soon). So now I have TWO new cards coming. Sigh. I can’t wait until I have no debt and I don’t use that card anymore. Right now, I’m not using it. I’m just making payments. I have enough points to get a modest hotel. I wish I had enough for a flight. Not that I should be going anywhere far away.

This week I…

Music of the week (my top 8 most listened to): Janelle Monae, Shawn Mendes, James Bay, Pusha T, Lissie, Amerie, Christina Aguilera, Camila Cabello

TV of the week: NBA playoffs, 13 Reasons Why

Cavs vs. Warriors. Once again, I do not care who wins. I don’t like one team more than the other. I just want good games. The only NBA teams I root for are the Lakers and the Wizards.

Movie of the week: none

Podcasts of the week: Fresh Air, Ted Talks Daily, True Crime Garage, The Kate and Mike show, Tarot for the Wild Soul, The Lowe Post

Books of the week: 

Now reading –

Planner update: Plans of the week in my The Charmed Life Planner

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Plans for the Weekend: I have another therapy appointment this Sunday evening. Since it is free for at least 6 visits (I think), I’m going to do them weekly until they begin to charge. I got the workbook. It’s a typical cognitive-behavioral based book. I’ve only done chapter 1. I can’t remember how many chapters she told me to do before our next appointment.

As of right now, I’m not working overtime this weekend. I’m going grocery shopping, getting some reading done and I want to work on doing practice career tarot readings. I guess that is my first stop in working on my future website. I’m going to start packing what I can on Sunday.

Thanks for reading. Have a splendid weekend! 🙂

A blindness that touches perfection

OMG. OMG. OMG. FUCK.

The damn coaching calls. Should I just opt out? I feel like that’s quitting. This was only the second one where we had to do a reading. I kind of sucked again. I just stated the meaning of the cards pretty much. I froze. Then when Julie (not her real name) did a reading for me about my financial situation, I started to tear up. I did NOT cry. But still, I had tears in my eyes, so it’s almost the same. And everybody saw. AND THE CALLS ARE RECORDED AND POSTED TO THE WHOLE CLASS. How much does that suck?

Julie said that I was feeling anxious about my financial situation and that’s very true. The part I don’t know to be true is that I won’t feel so alone about my financial situation. Is a princess or a prince going to come and save me? NO. I have no one to help…well, my dad is back in the states next week. He usually gives me about $40-$60 a month when he’s here. While that’s great, it doesn’t really save me. You know? I can only save myself.

When I did my own reading on Saturday, it was more accurate I feel like. It was a lot of fear, anxiety, stress. Not too many good cards. Julie had more good cards for me. Who’s right? I don’t know.

I’m planning on doing mostly email readings at the beginning of my tarot journey, so I don’t have to be ON and in front of a camera. I can do that. It will take me YEARS before I feel like I’m ready to do skype, phone or in-person readings. I’m new to this! 😦 I’m very pragmatic and logical. I know this will take time. I’m not planning on quitting my job and doing this full-time. Not at all. I’m doing it for free for a while. However, if someone likes my free content and really wants to pay me, they will have that option in a year (or maybe less).

I did do an in-person reading for my mom on Sunday. It was so messy! I knew the meaning of some of the cards, but I felt so insecure. I kept looking at my notes. It didn’t help that she changed her question at the last minute. SIGH. Never do that to a tarot reader. And never ask yes or no questions. AND never ask questions about time like, “When will I get married?” It doesn’t work that way. I will put all of this on my upcoming website. I’m sure other people have this on their websites too. For the record a good question is considered, “What do I need to know right now?” That’s just an example.

I’ve made it a point to not check out other people’s websites because I want to do my own thing. Anyway, I prayed before this call. I tapped (EFT) before the coaching call. I may have taken a Klonopin 😉 before the call. That helped. I would have been more nervous without it.

I am offering FREE tarot career readings to people reading this blog. I will probably put this as a sticky on this site. My only qualification is that I do accurate readings for myself. LOL. It’s free, so I feel like you have nothing to lose. Just leave a comment. I will probably put it as a sticky post in a few weeks. I will post the reading in the comments unless you feel comfortable sending me your email address. I would much prefer to email the person, but either way is fine. I can understand people not wanting readings from me. All I talk about is how much bad I am. haha.

I’m only focusing on career readings in the future. My whole website will be about careers. I’m not doing general readings or relationship readings.

One more thing that makes me sound like I think too much of myself. Only 5 were on the call. Usually, that is one of the busiest calls. I feel like others didn’t join once I RSVP because they didn’t want to be with the awkward girl who can’t do readings and barely talks. I’m also not active in the Facebook group.

Oh well.

Tomorrow I’m getting off from work 2 hours early…to get a pap smear. I’m not as bummed about that as I am about it raining on my birthday (Wednesday). WHY???! Now I have nothing to do. This is the first year in about 7 years, I’m not taking a week off during my bday week. I have one day off. All I wanted to do was go to a new park with my dog. Sigh. Mother Nature might not allow that.

If it rains, I might as well work for a few hours (training) and save a few hours of PTO. What’s the point of just doing nothing for a day? It depends on when the training meeting takes place. I might drop in for 2 hours. I won’t spend more time there than that. Blah. Please don’t rain so I can just forget about work.

It’s 10:30PM. I’m supposed to be sleeping. I’m watching the NBA playoffs. I’m going to bed while continuing watching the game. Bye!

Lose realism

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This is a pic of my dog on his 4th birthday. Okay, I don’t know his exact birthday. The vet says one thing. The place I order his medicine from says another. I can’t find his adoption papers from the animal shelter. :/ All I know is that he was born in approximately late April and he is a Taurus. That means he is the best, stubborn pup in the world! I can say that because I’m a Taurus too. Btw, this picture is from while we were at the river.

Countdown:

2 days before my next Tarot coaching call

3 days before my 3rd pap smear (ugh!)

4 days before my birthday

35 days before my DC Getaway

35 days until my only vacay this summer. Woohoo!  No internet access. No TV. Just me and my dog. I can’t wait. I only wish it were sooner.

I’m getting a great bonus from work. My boss gave me an extra 100 dollars (in addition to the bonus) for “doing all that I do.” At least, someone appreciates me. 🙂

For my birthday, I’m just going to a new-to-me park, and then we’ll grab a tuna sub from Subway. I hope it doesn’t rain. We’re having “bad food” from a local restaurant on Mother’s Day, so I can’t eat more bad food on my birthday. My bday is too close to mother’s day.  Anyway, I think a tuna sub is better than anything I REALLY want to eat. Normally I would go to one of my favorite restaurants on my birthday but I know I would eat something really unhealthy.  I can’t have bad food back to back.

As of right now, I’m taking the whole day off on my birthday. Things keep changing. We might be in training all day. We’re supposed to be in training all day now, but someone dropped the ball. It doesn’t really matter. I’m still not working on my birthday. I haven’t had a whole day off since March. I need a mental health day. Desperately.

I’ve been canceling things left and right. I feel wonderful about it. I still have to cancel a Marianne Williamson subscription, but I have to download every audio first. I love listening to her lectures. It would be nuts to cancel it without getting all the stuff I paid for. I’m keeping my Gabby Bernstein subscription..no matter what. I refuse to say I might have to cancel that sub. It is only $19 a month, and it is so good. It has helped me immensely.

However, I still have shit that I should be canceling. I’m canceling Audible soon. I rarely listen to audiobooks. I only occasionally listen to self-help books. All the other monthly bills will be much harder to cancel. I’m NOT canceling Spotify. No way.

My tarot coaching call is on Monday night. All I know is that I will have to talk more on this call and each of us will be doing a reading. I hate calling it “a call” because it is VIDEO and a call, but whatever. I get so nervous about the readings! I’m doing a reading for my mom on Sunday, and I’m nervous about that. I have to get all my rituals down. Plus, my dog will be there causing havoc so what kind of environment is that for a reading? Ugh. But I will use my crystals. I will say my prayer and try to meditate. I’m not doing everything I would normally do for a reading because this is a reading for my mom, it’s free, and it’s my first in-person reading.

Of course, my mom is like most people and think tarot reading is about being psychic and fortune telling. Sigh. I’m trying not to care if she really gets it. It doesn’t matter.

ICK! I just got the new training schedule. They are starting a new part of training on my birthday. I don’t know what to do. Right now I’m thinking if it rains then I will attend SOME training (maybe 2-3 hours). But if it is sunny, I’m going to the new-to-me park. It is supposed to rain in the afternoon. I’m planning to be at the park around 9 or 10. Hmmm. Gotta think about it.

This week I…

Music of the week (my top 8 most listened to): Rachel Sage, Jasmine Thompson, Ariana Grande, Jess Glynne, Florence + the Machine, Janelle Monae, John Mayer, Shawn Mendes

So much good music is being released this year!

TV of the week: NBA playoffs,  How to Get Away With Murder, RHoBH

Movie of the week:  The Rachel Divide (4.5 stars out of 5)

Podcasts of the week:  True Crime Garage, The Russillo Show, Mogul: The Life and Times of Chris Lighty

Books of the week: Now reading –

Planner update: Plans of the week in my Get To Work Book

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Plans for the Weekend: On Saturday, I’m working, going to the park, then the UPS store, and then the grocery store. In that order. I know you need to know this info. 😉 On Sunday, I’m going to my mom’s house for probably about 3 hours.

I plan to get a lot done for my tarot course. I want to be ready to do my on camera reading on Monday night. I’m glad (as of right now), I get 10 hours off from work next week. YAY!

Thanks for reading! Have a splendid weekend. 🙂

What if I lose?

SHUT THE FRONT DOOR! I just read for a woman in my tarot class. I blogged about it in my last entry. I pulled 3 cards for her. One was the tower card. It was in the future position. That usually means something will happen unexpectantly like a job loss. She lost her job 3 days later. FUCK. I expressed my sympathy to her over Facebook. I’m freaking out a little. Shit, I can’t believe that happened to her. She has a side business/hustle, so maybe that can work for her.

Oh, she just messaged me again. She is going to work on her spiritual business. I’m so glad she has that up and running (unlike me). WHAT IF I’M REALLY INTUITIVE? Oh, this is about her and her job, not me. Not. I was feeling so down about the tarot thing, and now I’m thinking what if I’m okay? I have tons of work to do, but maybe I’m not a complete tarot idiot.

This was my FIRST reading for someone else, and it was sort of right. WTF? I’m doing a financial reading for my mom in a couple of weeks.

Back to my regularly scheduled entry. I had to post that first.

I want a break! I didn’t take any time off from work all of April. I get 10 hours off this month. Two hours off on May 15 and all day off on May 16th (Janet Jackson’s and my birthday). I should say I have 8 hours scheduled off for my birthday, but now my manager is trying to change our training schedule so we can be in training all day long. (Now we are only in training about 4 hours a day).  It probably wouldn’t be a good idea to miss a whole day of training. I just wish I knew so I could make plans.

I’m obviously not doing anything big. I probably will go out to eat with my mom. I want to go to my favorite park in the city, but they don’t allow dogs. I don’t want to be without my dog all day. 😦 That’s no fun. So I will probably go to a park that allows dogs. I would go to the beach, but I don’t feel like driving there and back in one day PLUS I don’t know if I can take the whole day off yet.

This advanced tarot class is killing me. I can’t believe I’m doing this to myself. I LOVE the content. It is worth every penny, but I’m not advanced, so the coaching calls are over my head. I don’t have time to learn all the cards. By the time I feel comfortable with the cards, the class will be over. I need to get over it and be willing to suck in front of people.

I can’t wait to get my reading space ready. I’m buying an inexpensive table and using that to do all my readings (including readings for myself). I have to make space for it. That is the holdup. I need to declutter.

Woohoo! I made it to the park 3 days in a row. Can I make it 4? Why not? I might make it 5 days in a row. I don’t know what I’m doing on Saturday as of right now. The only reason I went to the park Tuesday through Thursday was because I wasn’t working overtime. I start working OT on Saturday.

This week I…

Music of the week (my top 8 most listened to): Janelle Monae, Natalie Merchant, Ariana Grande, Cardi B, Brandi Carlile, Christina Aguilera, Lissie, Kesha

TV of the week: NBA playoffs,  How to Get Away With Murder

I’m loving season 4 of HTGAWM.

Movie of the week: none

I might watch The Rachel Divide this weekend or during the week. I’ve been watching a court trial. I finally finished it. Now I feel like I have my life back. I can watch other stuff! Lol. The movie is a documentary about Rachel Dolezal. It’s right up my alley.

UPDATE: Watched it. So good. I will do a “review” next week.

Podcasts of the week:  Wrongful Conviction, True Crime Garage, Tara Brach, The Lively Show, Fresh Air,

Books of the week: Now reading –

Planner update: Plans of the week in my Get To Work Book

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Plans for the Weekend: I’m working on Saturday. I will probably go to the park either Saturday or Sunday whichever day is best for my dog. 😉 I have two tests left in the class I no longer care about. I will take that one day this weekend. I guess I feel like I have to finish the course even though there’s a zero percent I will pursue the certification.

I also have to mail my old router back to Verizon, or they will charge me $100 :/ I had that router for about 5 years. Small things like my Kindle would work with Wi-Fi, but my Mac and PC laptop wouldn’t connect to the Wi-Fi. That’s an emergency! (<– sarcasm)  I got the new router on Tuesday. It took me hours to set up my work desktop, but everything is working now.

Yeah, a pretty lowkey weekend. I really want to focus on reading my library books and working on the tarot class.

Thanks for checking in. Have a great weekend! 🙂

Tarot reading and crystals

I’m getting really frustrated with the Tarot reading woman. I even emailed her on Friday, and she hasn’t emailed me back yet. I paid for a general reading on March 29. The reading is supposed to take place via email. Her website says it might take 7 days for a reading. Fine. It has been more than 7 days. I really looked up to her. She is one of the people I wanted to model my business after. She gives great readings on YouTube. Not 100% accurate for me, but those are general readings.

Well, I no longer admire her business skills. I won’t bash her by name. LOL. I’m glad I didn’t link to her. Oh well. I may try to get my money back from, or I might just count it as a loss if I never get the reading. I’m not sure how that works because I’ve never had to get a refund for a service not rendered. I thought I used Paypal, but I didn’t. I used my bank debit card.

I would be mortified if I did this to a customer. I’m sure I won’t be perfect. People make mistakes. I just want to know if she is ignoring me on purpose. I know the beginning of the month is busy for some Tarot card readers. I will probably stop watching her videos. This sucks for me because I used to really look forward to them. This leaves a horrible taste in my mouth.

UPDATE!!! I love her. Okay, I need to chill out. Thirty minutes ago she sent me an MP3 of the reading and a picture of my cards. I love that she does that, and it also makes me jealous because I am not a talker, so I don’t really want to do MP3s, but it’s great for business so I have to get better at speaking. I talk so fast. Anyway, the reading scared the shit out of me. Basically, it said I was losing my job. Um, now what? I’m not ready to start a Tarot business right now. I don’t want to even look for another job.

I’m in training at my current job. I’m all in there for the next 2-3 years. I don’t have a desire to leave. No plans. The tower card was in my spread. That basically means something is coming out of the blue. I think that means I’m going to see a layoff or firing happening. Fuck. I hope she’s wrong.

My future looks great according to her reading. No problems there. I just have to get through the present or near present. Something big is happening, and I have to get through that to see the good.

I have to listen to the recording again and again and again. 65% of the things she said resonated with me which seems low. She was talking about a relationship, but I know I have to translate that to my job. All I do is work. There aren’t any romantic relationships here. Hmmm. It’s impossible to know whether she’s “right” because I don’t even know what’s happening tomorrow. I have to listen to it in a month to give her a final grade.

Thanks for scaring me. 😉  I get scared when I do readings for myself. Most of my readings have been very positive when it comes to the Tarot business I want to start. My readings have also been true about my current job for the most part. So I don’t know what to think. We agree on one thing: my future looks good. I have to admit that I sometimes find that hard to believe.

I have new crystals! I know I said I wouldn’t buy anymore. I started reading about crystals that help with intuition, and I had to do a crystal haul. Here are my new ones:

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Sorry for the blurriness. I like the tumbled stones better because I can put them in my bra. 😉 Well, I only travel with one crystal. I don’t wear them around the house, only when I go out. My point is I love looking at the big crystals, but they don’t work for me because I can’t carry them around.

The crystals pictured above are:

  • amethyst
  • smoky quartz
  • K2 stone (AKA azurite)
  • malachite
  • black tourmaline
  • lepidolite
  • black kyanite

I have to go because I have an early night tonight. 😦 I have to go into the office tomorrow to work. Bummer. I shouldn’t be there all day. The guy said my new computer is almost ready to go. I was in the office all day on Friday because my work computer stopped working. I should get a new laptop tomorrow. Please don’t give me another desktop. Well, as long as I have something to work on from home, I’m fine. I just know that most people have been getting a new laptop, so I want one too.

One more thing: While in the office on Friday, I had an in-person meeting with my manager and it went fine. Sometimes I am so much better in person than I am on the phone. Not that I want to have in-person meetings with my manager. LOL. Sigh. I hope I get a new laptop tomorrow morning. ::crossing fingers::

Bye!

Update: I didn’t get a laptop. I got a much smaller desktop instead. Whatever. It’s not like I was going to travel and work with the laptop. But now I’m back to working from home. YAY! Everything isn’t working right though. Argh! I have to try to fix it myself.

Gotta draw a line

My business goal has already changed. I’m going to have a website up in a year and provide FREE content. Then I’ll see where it goes. It’s hard to start charging people when I don’t have years of experience. People will ask me how long I’ve been doing it. Uh, one year?? That’s not good enough.

I’m getting excited about this. I need something to fall back on. I’m not keeping my job forever. They are already trying to get rid of us by using people overseas and technology. I have to have a plan, and Tarot reading is it. Besides even with my job, I NEED extra income. Tarot is the only thing that excites me.

I’ve got to think of a company name and plan my website. I’m not using my real full name even though people could probably easily find it out. Website classes here I come (already paid for since I’m on Skillshare).  I’m not sure which platform I’m using. A business WordPress account would work, but I know there are other options. I need to do some research. I’m already familiar with the free WordPress (obviously) so why not just use them and get a paid account so I can have my own domain?

Year 2 is going to be about starting a YouTube channel (are there better alternatives for videos? gotta do the research) My main issue will be lighting, finding a place to film, and buying a nice camera. I may also start a Facebook page so I can do Facebook live. Once again: Is there a better alternative? Is anyone going to be on FB in two years? I kind of hope not. Lol

Year 3 is all about and bringing in clients! Scary. If I am successful with the website and the YouTube channel, obtaining clients shouldn’t be that hard. Yes, it will take a lot of work. But I should have a small base at this point through the website and videos.

I can’t wait to really get started, but I have to be patient. I want the right name etc. Tarot is my life. After I get off work, I spend hours studying the tarot. And then my advanced class starts on April 19. I’m a little nervous about the class because we have at least 6 coaching calls and I think I will have to participate (just like at work!). The teacher has gone out of her way to get our schedules so she can find times that work for us and to call in and not participate? Uh, I have to say stuff. Lol.

Training is going okay. But I’m scared to start doing real work. Right now we are only practicing. So far it seems like I’ll be working a lot of overtime this month. I decided not to work OT every day because some days I might want to go to the park or mow my lawn or just relax (what a concept!).  All this overtime isn’t normal for us. I think I went a year without doing ANY overtime in 2016. Yeah, that sucked. And this won’t last forever. It is probably only occurring because 5 of us are in training.

UGH! Double UGH! I just had a one on one with my trainer. I have NO social skills. That is why I want my business to be 80% online. When I get nervous, I really can’t talk. I freeze. I’m better if I’m prepared. But he sprung something new on me. It wasn’t good. Bleh. :/ This is probably the #1 concern I have for starting a tarot reading business. I can give people prepared readings, but I’m not confident I would be good in person or even live on Skype. I just gotta have faith and work on it. I guess.

This week I…

Music of the week (my top 8 most listened to): Kacey Musgraves, The Weeknd, Lissie, Justin Timberlake, Camila Cabello, Joan Osborne, MaMuse, Elephant Revival

TV of the week: Survivor, Grey’s Anatomy

I’ve been mostly watching a court trial online. Not much TV this week.

Movie of the week: none

Podcasts of the week: True Crime Garage, What Should I Read Next?, Dreams in Drive

Books of the week: I finished reading Under the Banner of Heaven: A Violent Faith by Jon Krakauer. I had NO IDEA how violent the beginning of Mormonism was. I’m talking about wars. So many people died. And the incest??! Not good. I love learning about religions. I’m surprised I never bothered to read more about Mormonism since I do find it very interesting.  4 stars.

Now reading –

Planner update: Plans of the week in my Get to Work Book

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Plans for the Weekend: Staying in. YAY! I am working overtime on Saturday. I still haven’t found my credit card. However, I have only looked in my car so far. I’m going to spend an hour or two searching my house this weekend. If I can’t find it, I’m going to tell the credit card company on Sunday afternoon. I hope I find it.

I will try to finish my beginner’s Tarot course this weekend. I’ve been working on it like crazy. I’m supposed to be working on it now instead of doing this. I might skip a day of the course. Today at work has been a lot. I need a break.

Speaking of the Tarot, I still haven’t gotten my reading from that woman. It is due from her today. She promised in 7 days! If I have to email her…not good. I’ll email her on Friday if I haven’t heard back. I paid for a reading and I want my service. At least I know what NOT to do. I would directly email the person as soon as I got a receipt. I know she’s busy. Sigh.

Right now, I’m going to cook food for the next 8 days. Yes, that is how I roll. I just put a bunch of food in the oven. That’s not really cooking.  I hate cooking. I wish I liked it. Then I would learn. Okay, that’s enough. I really gotta go.

Thanks for reading! Have a fun weekend! 🙂