Rather be broken than empty


1 day until my week-long vacation from work

Really today is my last day before my vacay. I’m only working 2-3 hours of overtime tomorrow.

I don’t know where to begin. How about some TMI? My period only lasted for two freaking days. If that! OMG. Hallelujah. Birth control rocks. Yes, I gained weight, but I’m happier with a shorter period. It would be great if it just disappeared. I have hopes that will happen one day soon. Depo Provera didn’t work. In fact, it was a nightmare. But what I’m on now (Blisovi-Fe) works wonders. It also clears up acne. That’s not my top concern though. I just want my period to be gone because I hate it.

Work is impossible. I mean it. Yeah, I’m off next week which is kind of great. But kind of not because they might go over stuff to help us. “Us” being the people that just got out of training. I am calling into two work meetings next week. The meetings are only an hour each so no big deal. I don’t like that they are at 8AM, but I can rarely sleep in. I’m used to getting up at 4:50 AM. Sleeping in for me is 6 AM.

Anyway, I barely got anything done today. All I had were questions. I got a lot of answers which was helpful, but I didn’t get much actual work done. When I get back to work on August 6, I am expected to be productive. They will be watching what we do. Closely. I’m trying not to worry about it.

My staycation plan might be kind of messed up. It is supposed to rain every single day. Boo. Not a huge deal. As long as it isn’t heavy rain all day. I don’t mind going to the local park when it is just drizzling. In fact, it is really nice when it’s a little rainy because no one else is there. Speaking of the park, I went today after work (rare for a Friday). I barely saw anyone. It was very nice. My dog only went nuts when we saw the one dog. So embarrassing. Ick.

Back to my staycation plans:

Monday: doctor, manicure (!!),  tarot readings, recording YouTube videos, mentor meeting

Tuesday: visit the river with my dog, tarot readings, YT videos, catch up on training material for my day job

Wednesday: NO WORK ALLOWED. NO tarot. NO day job. Catch up on reading, local park, working through Benebell Wen’s astrology course, sleep!

Thursday: YT videos (if not done), miscellaneous tarot stuff, local park

Friday: miscellaneous tarot stuff, astrology course,

Yep, I’m thinking about getting a manicure. I have NEVER gotten one before. I don’t wear makeup. I wear fingernail polish once a year. But for my YouTube videos, I will be holding up Tarot cards so I want my nails done.  That is the only reason why I’m doing it. It will not be a normal thing. After this, I will paint my own nails. I just thought getting a manicure would be nice. What color will I get? I’m thinking purple or black. I’m going to try to get a gel polish manicure on my natural nails. The place I want to go to is near my house, and I have to call them tomorrow to find out whether an appointment is necessary. I hope not. I just want to go right after I’m done at the doctor.

My schedule is not set in stone. As you can see, I barely have much going on. I mostly want to focus on Tarot and leisure reading since I barely have time for that when I’m working my day job. And weather permitting, I would like to go to a park every day.

One more thing: I do consider Tarot work because it is. But I enjoy it. It is only considered “work” because it takes up a lot of time.

This week I…

Music of the week (my top 8 most listened to): Christina Aguilera, Sugarland, Demi Lovato, Ellie Goulding, Janelle Monae, Ariana Grande, Britney Spears, Paula Cole

TV of the week:  Big Brother, The Bachelorette, The Bold Type

I take back what I said about The Bold Type last week. The show isn’t horrible. However, it does remind me that I’m definitely not a lesbian. That’s for sure. 😉 I’m asexual. 100%

Movie of the week: None

Podcasts of the week: True Crime Garage, Fresh Air, Online Marketing Made Easy, Generation Why

Books of the week: Now reading:

Hope to get a ton of reading done this week. That’s what vacations are for!

Plans for the weekend: I’m working for a few hours on Saturday. I’m going grocery shopping on Sunday. I have tarot readings to do. Not much exciting stuff going on. I’m more excited about my weekdays than my weekend.

My overall goal is to make the most of the next week. I want to have extended dance parties and maybe sleep more, but I also want to get a lot of tarot stuff done. Now is the time.

Have a magnificent weekend! Thanks for reading. 🙂

Don’t tell your mother

Update to add: AHHHHHHHHHH! Just like I thought my manager and I will have a meeting on Monday. No, it doesn’t necessarily mean I’m fired. BUT it could mean that I have to work in the office or it could be just a warning (doubtful). Talking isn’t one of my skills. I really don’t know what to say. If she can’t see the truth than LOL. I have one sentence I can say. That’s it. It isn’t like I can google an answer to this unique situation.

If she doesn’t think I’m taking this seriously, she could not be wronger. I’m a single person. No significant other to help pay bills. No parents to help with much of anything. I could eventually live with my mom to have a roof over my head, but she has no money because she stopped working to take care of her mom. It’s all on me. I have to work. So YES, I am taking this very seriously. That’s all I can say….and I don’t think that is good enough.

Monday is the day. Nervous. Will my coworkers get want they want? Time will tell.


I don’t know what’s going on. I couldn’t nap much this week. Napping is my favorite thing. 🙂  Was it because I was worried about my job? Or do I nap because my job is so exhausting that when I do work, I feel so tired that I have to nap? I don’t know, but I do know that my dog hated having the weekend schedule during the week. He was confused. Why aren’t you sitting at the computer and working mom? Why aren’t we eating dinner at 5? Uh, because we woke up later…remember?

Overall, I had a good week off. It was very relaxing.


I took my dog to the park on Wednesday. Surprisingly it was fun. I finally found the walking trail but by the time I found it, we had been there about an hour and I didn’t feel like walking the whole trail. We ended up taking a shortcut through the woods which was awesome. I love wooded areas. So that was cool. My dog wouldn’t let me sit down. I wanted to read a book by the lake, but that didn’t happen. We went around 10 AM and it wasn’t crowded at all.

On Thursday, I took my dog to get groomed while I went to the gym and ran errands. I took a spin class. Less than 10 people were in the class. Gotta love a morning class on a weekday. I went to the consignment shop but, they weren’t taking clothes that day. They do state on their website to call first but since I was already out, I decided to just go. Oh well. Another day.

The grooming didn’t go well. I expected that. He wouldn’t let them trim his nails. She told me to take him to the vet for that. LOL. The vet doesn’t want to do it either. But I will try there in early August. They have to cut his nails or I can’t keep him. What are the other alternatives? Anyway, he didn’t like the bath or being dried either. Oh well. I guess that will be the last time I go there.  I will do everything at the vet which costs more. Grrr!

Then my mom and I went to Red Lobster. Thank god I did spin and burned 400+ calories. Otherwise, I would be in trouble. I ate TWO biscuits. Plus I had the caesar salad. 😦  But I didn’t eat the croutons in the salad. I forgot a salad came with the meal. The broiled flounder was awesome! I skipped two meals (1 snack and dessert) so in the end it all evens out. She wants to go back to Red Lobster in August. argh. This time I will try not to eat any bread. lol. And just eat the salad and the meal.

Here is a pic of the salad. I forgot to take a pic of the main meal which would have been great food porn.


I saw 130.4 on the scale on Tuesday. It was only ONE day so I’m not celebrating yet. Today I’m back to 131.

This week I…

Music of the week:  Tori Kelly, Raquel Sofia, Crystal Lewis, Ed Sheeran, Nina Simone, Florence + the Machine, Mariah Carey, Shelby Lynne

Watched: Big Brother, Preachers’ Daughters

Movies of the week: Does watching a Lifetime movie count? 😉

Books of the week:  I finished reading Not Fade Away: A Memoir of Senses Lost and Found by Rebecca Alexander. Great book. One of the best memoirs I’ve ever read and I read a lot of memoirs. Moving.

Now reading: Something Must Be Done About Prince Edward County: A Family, a Virginia Town, a Civil Rights Battle by Kristen Green. I live 80 minutes away from Prince Edward County. I didn’t know the history of that county. I never really thought much about Prince Edward County prior to reading this book.  The author used to live where I live now. She talks about how racially segregated it is. I tell people online that that is true. But the way she puts it makes it really sad. It is like people are living in two different cities. The haves and the have nots.

I have a free Audible credit. I’m thinking about getting Ta-Nehisi Coates new book. I dunno. Is it better to read it or is it okay to listen to it? I don’t know why I mess with Audible. I don’t love audio books. I used to listen to them when I worked in the office because that helped pass the time, but now I can barely finish an audio book. I have to use my free credit by August. I need to get something…Every book I want to read I usually come to the conclusion that I want to READ it, not listen to it.

Planner update:

plans of the week
plans of the week

As usual, the weekend isn’t filled in yet.

give it up, turn it loose

What I did on my week long “vacation” from work:


  • Worked for an hour
  • Went to therapy.
  • Ate at Bob Evans restaurant for the first time. Any place that serves breakfast all day gets an ‘Awesome!’ from me.


  • Worked for an hour
  • 2nd attempt at grocery shopping (was feeling nauseous on Saturday, had to go home).
  • Worked on Project Life. May is done. I just need the photos. Working on June.


  • Went to the park for two hours.
  • rearranged the furniture in my living room. Cleaned up. (not done)


  • Visited my (legal) drug dealer. He gave me prescriptions. 😉 He weighed me. I weigh 127 lbs. I’m not happy about that but I thought I was between 130 – 135 so I’m sort of relieved. OTOH, it isn’t about the number. I need to get fit. I think my healthy weight is 120lbs. I have a small frame.
  • Went to a core class at the free gym. The class at the Y is twice as hard but it was a decent workout. I probably won’t go back due to social anxiety issues.  AWKWARD. Anyway, I do crunches about 3 times a week on my own. I’m just going to search for a good 30min core workout on youtube and do that at least twice a week.
  • Canceled my YMCA membership. 😦


  • Worked for a couple of hours.
  • Went to the Olive Garden for the first time (!!) w/my mom. I loved the atmosphere but I would feel weird going there alone. I had “Tour of Italy” which consists of lasagna,  chicken parmigiana and  fettuccine alfredo. I wanted to taste more than one thing. Next time I’m just getting the chicken alfredo. The food was okay. I can see why people who like “real” Italian food get snobby about it.

Music for the week: Patty Griffin, Demi Lovato, Goo Goo Dolls, Kanye West, Laura Marling

TV for the week: NBA Finals, MSNBC, Colbert Report, Arrested Development

Movie of the week: 11:14 (uh, it was okay. Other people loved it so…I recommend it??)

Books of the week: Deadly Little Secrets & The Law of Divine Compensation: On Work, Money, and Miracles

Goals I came up with this week: Give up drinking soda (again) & make a terrarium

Overall it was a much needed break and sort of relaxing week since I didn’t have to work. I better enjoy it since I won’t have anymore time off until September! I still have a work email I have been dreading. DREADING. I don’t wanna compose it. Don’t make me……