I find it super magical

I am not watching the Superbowl due to my football “boycott”. This is the first time in over a decade I won’t be watching the big game. I can’t believe I actually didn’t watch football all season! There were some college football games I REALLY wanted to watch. My football boycott will continue next season. Nothing has changed. Players are still getting hurt for entertainment purposes. I’m not talking about just broken legs. I’m talking about broken minds also. Eventually more people may quit watching. Boxing, anyone?


I have hot water as of right now. I don’t think the cold water is working yet…Woot! Woot! 😉



Music for the week:  A Great Big World, Jillette Johnson, Jennifer Nettles,  Britney Spears, Julie Roberts, Nelly Furtado, Beyonce, Elle Varner

Ugh. My music listening has been stagnant as of late. I’ve been listening to the same music for the past month. I do love A Great Big World though…I need to switch it up a little

TV for the week: basketball,  Sister Wives (I shouldn’t have gone to the message boards but I was curious about what people thought of the show. Only one thing worth mentioning stood out: people were saying how unhappy/depressed the wives seemed. My thought is, how are they any different from a monogamous couple? Do these people know a bunch of  happy married people? The wives seem pretty normal to me. Marriage is hard – polygamous or monogamous. Life is hard. Blah. I love how well adjusted the kids seem).

Edited to add: Just in case it isn’t obvious, I’m only talking about the women on the TV show “Sister Wives”, NOT any kind of abusive polygamy. (Warren Jeffs etc.)

Movies of the week: Mitt (I’m not sure why this documentary wasn’t better. Is it because Mitt Romney isn’t charismatic? Or was it the director? It was semi-interesting). First Comes Love (The birthing scene was beyond too graphic. I tried to watch but had to turn away. TMI! But otherwise it was a good documentary. I know it was good because I could have read it and enjoyed it just as much. I love Amy and Nina).

Book of the week: The Witness Wore Red: The 19th Wife Who Brought Polygamous Cult Leaders to Justice by Rebecca Musser Money: A Love Story: Untangle Your Financial Woes and Create the Life You Really Want by Kate Northrup

Goals for next week: I’m focusing on school and studying for the boards. I’m now thinking about taking the boards in June or July just to get a feel for it. School will be done May 4th. Is June too soon? I have no idea. I just don’t like the thought of waiting to take it until September. With too much time, I might get antsy. Then I can take it again a few months later. (I get two chances for one payment).

I have my first one on one with my manager. I’m not looking forward to talking. (wow, really?) We have never spoken. And I have nothing to say or ask. That shouldn’t be awkward. :/

I need to clean the kitchen….and the whole house. It is chaotic. Books are everywhere!


My mom gave me her old printer. Yay!! She has a much cooler, new one. I have never had a wireless printer before. I hope setting it up won’t be a bitch. I shall attempt to set it up now…….

Money moves everything

I’m sad today. It is usually such an exciting time: the beginning of college football. I saw people in the store so excited over the games even the cashier was talking about it. If you read my boycott or watch football post, you know I’m not joking about my sadness. After I posted that, I decided to boycott football. Just typing that entry made it clear to me that I can no longer watch the games. However, I will allow myself to watch highlights on Sportscenter until I’m completely over the sport. Right now I’m watching tennis. I love the US Open but it isn’t the same. 😦

I volunteered at the animal shelter yesterday. I walked the two sweetest dogs. I was feeling pretty good as I was leaving until I got this: “You quitting this early, huh?” – an animal shelter staffer. He was also walking dogs. Sigh. Fine I only stayed 30 minutes. (15 minutes for each dog). Without the treats, which were hidden in a back room, I wouldn’t have been able to get the dogs back in their kennel. I still suck at getting them in and out. The last thing I wanted to do was try a THIRD dog and press my luck.I did not want to tempt the gods. I am going back on the Friday after next and I will stay for an hour. I will walk 4 dogs. Hopefully that pleases everyone because I aim to please! 😉


I went book crazy in a totally bad way. I brought wheat/gluten free cookbooks.  Ugh.  I’m not a cooker. I didn’t grow up in a house where people cooked. I have tried this thing called cooking. I do not have a knack for it.  I have baked a little (cookies, muffins, cake…) but everything else I suck at. Cooking is a foreign language to me but I am determined to try. Wheat free is stricter than gluten free so I’m just using the gluten free cookbooks for ideas.  It’s not like I’m eating completely healthy though. I still eat baked potatoes, food with corn starch, and diet soda. GASP! Not soda??!

The books I foolishly brought were:

I also did what I wasn’t supposed to do. I went to Kroger and brought wheat free food. I know, I know. But seeing all the stuff I read about in my cookbooks on the shelves at Kroger…I had to buy some things. Shopping at Kroger was like shopping at Whole Foods or Trader Joe’s. Who knew? Anyhow I’m most excited about my wheat free pizza crusts. YAY! I know I’m supposed to make them from scratch but like I said, I’m not a cooker. I can’t wait to make pizza.

I also brought eggplant. WTF am I supposed to do with that? I have had eggplant parmesan before and I have always had this fascination with eggplant but I don’t know anything about how to prepare it. It is pretty though. 😉

Stay tuned. I will post anything I “cook”. Hopefully I will be able to make a pizza soon. I’m not sure I have all the ingredients.


Music for the week: John Mayer, Macklemore, The Civil Wars, Selena Gomez, Jillette Johnson, Sara Bareilles, Dia Frampton, Tara MacLean

TV for the week: Grey’s Anatomy, Big Brother 15, US Open

Movie of the week:  none

Books of the week: the cookbooks mentioned above, Gluten-Free Made Easy As 1,2,3: Essentials For Living A Gluten-Free Life by Angela McKeller, Learning to Bake Allergen-Free: A Crash Course for Busy Parents on Baking without Wheat, Gluten, Dairy, Eggs, Soy or Nuts by Colette Martin (not a parent but still may be helpful)

Goals for next week: Go to a yoga class. Clean the living room and kitchen. Enjoy Labor Day. Cook, cook, & cook.

boycott or watch?


I’m conflicted over this. Usually this time of year I’m getting excited about the beginning of football. But last year I said I was going to consider boycotting it due to the injuries (including death) the players suffer from.  The main injury that made me consider not watching football is learning about chronic traumatic encephalopathy (CTE). I’m having a hard time enjoying a sport I know people will later regret playing when they can no longer talk/walk or they are so depressed they kill themselves. Of course I should stop watching football. But part of me wants to be a hypocrite and say “Fuck it!  I like football. It is one of the things that makes winter bearable and I’m going to watch it”.

What do I do? Yes this is a real conflict for me. College football starts soon. By watching it, I know I’m doing something not aligned with my beliefs. However, selfishly I want to spend my weekends watching football because I’ve been arranging my schedule around football for the past decade. It’s what I do. It’s ME.

There’s also a part of me that wants to let football go because then I don’t have to arrange my schedule by it. It is one less hobby to have. I can still watch other sports like basketball. If I don’t watch football, trust me I will know every college and pro basketball player on the court by first and last name. (I can’t watch both sports religiously and still live).

Right now I’m leaning towards boycotting. It’s gonna suck. Ugh, I can’t do that…can I? I don’t want to start NOT watching and then start watching mid-season. I fear that is what will happen. I hate winter and I need something. I don’t know. Sports bring me joy. I love football.

I know the right thing to do. Sigh. I want to believe the NFL is really doing something about the concussion issue but I don’t trust them. Why should I? They knowingly let this go on for decades. And then once the players are retired some of them can’t get help from the NFL. For example, they don’t consider dementia a football related disease so one player has to come up with $65,000 a year to live in assisted living. His pension from the NFL is only $925 a month. What? The NFL can’t afford it??? It disgusts me.

Some of these players playing right now, will suffer so much from playing football. If they only knew for sure. If they knew what it really felt like. Sure some of them would still play for the money, fame, or even love of the game. But what would their decision be if they really knew what their life would be like in 10 years? No one is going to convince me that they want to not be able to walk and talk. They just don’t think it will happen to them. Brain damage is serious. It is worth watching people destroy their lives?

My favorite team happens to be the Baltimore Ravens. (I’m from Baltimore. I don’t live there now). They’ve done a ton of damage to other players and needless to say Ray Lewis is/was my favorite football player. Spare me the murder comments please. Of course I know everything about that. Anyhow, I imagine how I would feel if it were him who committed suicide. What if he gets chronic traumatic encephalopathy? I would feel horrible for watching him play over all these years. (side note: It bothers me that Ray is supporting his son playing football. Does he think all this stuff is made up? He is a smart guy yet he is ignoring all the bad parts of football. A lot of former players say they WOULD NOT let their kids play football. Unfortunately Ray isn’t one of them.)

I don’t know if I can watch a sport that can lead people into depression and CTE. Is it worth it? Should I just forget everything I know and enjoy the sport? Can I do that? Sadly the answer is probably yes. I don’t think I will ever look at it the same way again after learning so much about CTE.  I’m just one person. I know my actions mean nothing. However I do have a conscience. Like I stated earlier, I know the right thing to do but it still makes me incredibly sad. Not to be dramatic or anything but it’s like saying goodbye to a part of my life. And I hate that people will be talking about great plays or great games and I will have no clue what they are talking about.

After all this, a part of me is still considering watching it. I know it doesn’t make sense. That is why I’m conflicted. I hope I say no to football.

Here is one story on CTE and football (there are several)

The tragedy of CTE: a brain disease that afflicts athletes


(This is just my conflict over watching football. I’m not at all trying to change anyone’s mind).

Give Your Heart a Break


I have to blog about the Superbowl. They did it!! It was amazing. 🙂 The last time the Baltimore Ravens were in the Superbowl, I was in college and I had to work during the game. I didn’t get to enjoy it much. This time was so special. I was all by myself and I got to live the moment. I know this seems dramatic but dude, I love Baltimore (in theory – hahaha) and I love the Ravens. Baltimore is my hometown. I haven’t been back in years.

To people bitching about the no call: The 49ers played like crap for a half. CRAP. They didn’t score a touchdown in the first half. They needed a freaking power outage to wake up and realize they were playing in the Superbowl. My point is the team that played the best last night won. Call or uh, no call. I understand the San Fran fans being upset though. I can put myself in their shoes. Haven’t all sports fans been there?

It makes me sad that I’m saying goodbye to the NFL. How can I not watch the Superbowl next year? I wouldn’t feel right ignoring the whole season and just watching the big game. I have to know what is going on and who is who etc.

Proud Ravens fan. Proud of Baltimore. 🙂 🙂 🙂

Goodbye Ray. 😦


I am so doing a bunch about the Baltimore Ravens in My Project Life album. Yes, I’m a female. 😉

somewhere trouble don’t go

I’m proud of myself. I made two hard phone calls today. One I had been putting off for months. The other was a new issue. Of course the calls didn’t go as bad as I thought they would. All that anxiety over a little thing. I hate having to make phone calls. I spend more time obsessing over it than actually talking on the phone.


I’m off tomorrow & Friday for March Madness. The people at work considered this dumb. Taking time off just to watch basketball during the day? I know some thought my love of sports was dumb because I heard someone say it. It just made them feel better about themselves. Oh you watch sports? You must be dumb. I’ve been able to get time off work for March Madness every year since I’ve been in my current department. *STEREOTYPE ALERT* That is the bonus of working with mostly females. 😉 I hate when females confirm the “I don’t get sports” stereotypes by the way. I cringe every time I hear someone say something like, “I only like [insert team] because those are my colors!” Oh god, I hate that. I hate when people reinforce stereotypes in general. I know I have in the past. I’m not saying that I’m not guilty of this.

Basketball starts at noon on both days. I have my time filled before those hours. On Friday I have to mow my lawn at my house. I so don’t want to. :/ This will be my first mow of 2012. I hate that I don’t even live there but I still have to mow that damn lawn. It is good exercise though. I do need something to complement my sporadic treadmill use. On the average, I get on about 3 times a week. Not good enough. I don’t get motivated unless I eat something bad like red velvet cake. Anyhow, tomorrow I might go out to eat alone again. Not sure. I’ll see how I feel after I run my errands. I have a $5 off coupon so breakfast will only be about $5.00. I have to go.

Random: I think all restaurants should be required to serve breakfast all day. It would make a lot of people very happy. 🙂



Okay, I’m not really sure this is drama ………..but my coworker asked me (by text) to go to a thing on Saturday. At first I was thinking, “Uh, HELL NO. Basketball is on all day!” I still feel that way. LOL. But I decided to say something about having some free time on Saturday. But I haven’t heard back from her. I’m not broaching the subject because I don’t want to miss basketball. Plus the event is religion based. Once again, I’m not a religious person. So I’m not dying to go even if I had nothing to do.

The drama is within myself. Did I say something wrong in the text? I’m not a normal conversationalist. I just say what I mean. I don’t sugarcoat things. I don’t say anything mean. But when I do talk I’m upfront. I would say exactly what I said to her but I feel strange about that. It was only 3 sentences. Was I supposed to say, “That sounds great!” Because I didn’t. Because it doesn’t sound great. I want to watch basketball. That is why I took Thursday and Friday off. It is important to me but I thought about how she hasn’t asked me to go anywhere in a long time.

Maybe she will call tonight. (She was supposed to call yesterday). And then I know I didn’t hurt her feelings. On the other hand, that means I’m missing basketball. Can’t really win with this one.


Kindle Fire time.

I love my baby. I’m still having a hard time with the short battery life. My god, it is horrible! I’m probably making it sound worse than it really is. Maybe people who have an iTouch or any smart phone is used to this? I don’t know. The Fire does not compare to the iPad. At all. It is basically a smart phone without the phone. That’s it. If you want more, buy another tablet. (not necessarily an iPad). In fact Amazon doesn’t call the Fire a tablet, because it isn’t one.

What it is, is what I love. 🙂 I’m discovering new things I can do every day. Today I listened to podcasts without having to download them. I also can listen to at least one local HD radio channel (our NPR). I squealed when I saw that. I’ve wanted to listen to that channel forever. It is news talk ALL day unlike the other public channel which brings only certain NPR shows on. The best thing about the Fire, is the portability. I have access to a laptop while I’m working but I hate dragging that thing around. Now I can just do about everything on my Fire….except work on it. Bummer.

I will probably do reviews on more apps as I get them. My favorite new app is a screen dimmer. I think it will allow me to read books on the Fire. What a concept. Reading books on a Kindle? Ha. I was able to read a little on it today but I haven’t given it enough time. I just want to avoid a headache if I can. I’m still reading most stuff on my KK but I want to read two books at once and I thought this would be the best way to do it but it isn’t necessary. It would be nice to be able to see the newspapers I read in color though.

Your Joy

For some people Christmas is their favorite time of year. That is my least favorite time of year. March Madness is my favorite time of year. It is here NOW! Two years ago I got the first two days of the tournament off. I was going to ask for two half days this year but then I remembered that midterms occur in March. I do have half a day Friday but my car needs a part so it doesn’t feel like much time off. They do have a TV so I hope it is on the tournament. If it isn’t on (and I can’t imagine it wouldn’t be) then I’ll go for a walk with my radio and listen to as much of the tourney as I can.

My therapist thinks it sooooo great that I love sports. Why? Because it brings me joy (lol) and more importantly, it comes every year. I never really thought about it like that. I do remember once thinking that I can’t kill myself because I wanted to see who would win the NBA championship. That was when I was 21 in college, living with roommates. But it is great. No matter how depressed I am, I’m not going to miss a sport I want to see.

The summer sucks cause I hate baseball. So all I have is the last of the NBA and golf. But in the summer, who wants to stay in and watch TV? The NFL might not be back on time but I like college football much more. I could live without the NFL. However, It would be weird to not have games to watch on Sunday.

I hate saying “my therapist” because it sounds so bourgeois (and I’m the antithesis of that!). Of course I imagine you (hi!) reading that and rolling your eyes. Well I am fortunate enough to have health insurance. It is currently affordable but they are getting rid of the plan soon. The co-payments last year were so high that I ended up cutting way back. Since I had a depression episode and I’ve seen one person with social anxiety who seems slowly cured…I don’t know her much so I don’t know how bad it was.

It is extremely rare to find a social anxiety success story. She probably doesn’t see herself as a success. Anyhow, I am inspired to get out more. I have a list of things I want to do AKA the bucket list. It is probably outdated.

My goal is not to have a social life. I just want to not have the anxiety and feel like I can do things on my own. That might not make sense. Example: One day I would like to go to a club and order a drink and not feel like I have to be social. That is the reason I don’t do a lot of normal things. People expect you to talk or they get offended. I don’t have a problem going to the movies alone or eating out alone. Although I haven’t ate alone in a while.

Sports hijacked this blog. I’m never going to get to what I’ve wanted to say for the pass 2-3 weeks.

Miss Invisible

::400 words erased cause I hate explaining myself::

So that’s that. I rarely talk sports in this blog but I love sports almost as much as music. I admit to losing interest if my team really sucks. I’m really loving the NBA right now. I’m not excited about March Madness this year. I usually consider that the sporting event of the year…yes better than the Superbowl. I’m more excited for the selection show this Sunday. I would like to see VCU get in even though I think they have NO chance whatsoever of getting selected. It would be nice if Virginia Tech got in but do they deserve it? They lost two games straight after beating Duke. argh.

I just don’t really care. I will watch it. I have to do a bracket to get myself interested. I’m sure my lack of interest is probably due to the ACC sucking. I follow the Big East but they just keep beating each other up. Georgetown starts off great then lose, lose, lose, win. In fact they lost today. Oops, spoiler! Sorry about that.

I may try blogging about sports more since I spend a lot of time watching it. It is a big part of my life. It started with the NBA in the late 80s (??) when Magic Johnson caught my eye. (Yep, I’m a life long Laker fan. Don’t get mad). I prefer listening/reading what others have to say.
I have homework to do. I can’t believe spring break isn’t right after mid-terms. Wouldn’t that be nice? Speaking of mid-terms I made an 88 on one and a 78 (ugh!) on the combined midterm. I don’t think I’ve ever made a 78 or lower on a midterm. I did take calculus so maybe I did and I’m just blocking that out. I love math (especially geometry) but calculus nearly killed me. Btw, how much of a joke is spring break? LOL. Even when I got my Bachelors and did the real college experience, I went NO WHERE for spring break. I was broke. I studied the whole time. /geek

I’m not freaking out over the 78 like I did when I first found out my grade. Now I know I have a B in all three classes so the 78 didn’t kill me. Well I’m going to try to keep the B or maybe I should aim higher and try for As.

I’ll blog more later. No more tweeting @ anyone. I will continue to text my tweets like I usually do and stay OFF twitter.

My take on the Jay Cutler story

No social outing for me. It sold out. I kept thinking “it might sell out”. That is the problem with not being able to reserve stuff online. When I have to physically go out and reserve something (RARE these days), then I will usually put it off until late. I was dreading having to get a parking situated, having to go to work extra early so I could leave to make reservations etc. I was going to do it tomorrow afternoon. So…It wasn’t meant to be. I hope next time I can find about it in advance. It was barely publicized. I just happened to read an email. Oh well.

I so wanted to do pull an all nighter last night but I know I have to work the next day. I had two short papers due. I half-assed it. I hate doing that. I promise myself I won’t do it again. For what that’s worth.

I guess I’m not watching the Superbowl this year. Heh. I could do a whole series of entries on the Jay Cutler story. Or I could blog about my new serotonin diet. Or about how I wish our gym had yoga classes instead of yogalates because I’m not sure what yogalates is. 🙂 But I’m not passionate about that. I didn’t want to blog about the Cutler story because it is basically a “people suck” entry but this is the only story I’m dying to give my thoughts on. So the people who think I’m a jerk, continue on because if not being like you is a jerk, I’m a jerk. (yes I heard that – lol)

I’m going to try to shorten my rant because I should be doing 50 other things. You don’t like Jay Cutler so you don’t give him the benefit of the doubt?! Forget “fair” for a minute. But is that RIGHT? I’m not a black and white thinker but I have a hard time understanding how people can believe this is okay. Say Carla writes an A+ paper, is it okay to give her a B because you don’t like her? I don’t get it. It’s funny, in a world where feelings are shunned; people have no problems letting THEIR FEELINGS cloud the judgment of others.

(Halftime: Here’s how Cutler’s critics should apologize)

People were criticizing his body language for god sakes. How can people not see how ridiculous that is? People will say they know people are different YET, they judge them on how they would act. Does that make any sense? Do they really believe people are different? They don’t act like it. He should smile. He should be more talkative (WTF?). He should this, that. Unbelievable!

As far as the athletes who were quick to judge go, they are hypocrites for criticizing another player. They are constantly complaining about writers doing that to them. CONSTANTLY. However, players aren’t necessarily the moral bunch. Is that a stereotype? Is that mean? What I mean is that they will play WITH a concussion. (How smart is that?) They take dangerous drugs (ex: steroids) just to play the game. So I don’t hold them to a high standard. All that matters to them is PLAYING. They don’t think about their future. The statistics show that. How smart is that?

I expect this of normal people but I was surprised that the players trashed him so quickly. Yes twitter is really how all this got so bad but sports analysts (ex-players) on TV were quick to judge right after the game also.

Bottom line is that this is an example of how people are “unfair” to people they do not like. Don’t forget that most of these people/players have NEVER met him. One person said, “Jay Cutler could not win”. That is true. People cannot be pleased. And then they wonder why he isn’t nice. Why he isn’t smiling. Maybe he had to deal with this crap so long as he is just over it. Or maybe I’m projecting.

By the way, I’m not a Jay Cutler fan. I probably know less about him than the average football fan. The fact that we now know he has a sprained MCL has nothing to do with my opinion. I hope he doesn’t need surgery.

ron ron for life

I’ve been a Laker fan since the (late) Magic days. For some reason this win feels awesome probably because I like these players. They play like a team. And they won!!!!!!!!! I’m not a Kobe fan. I’m a LAKER fan. I’m still on this “Can you believe it?” high.

I was so excited when Ron Artest signed with the Lakers. I remember the day he said he signed with the Lakers. The Lakers didn’t say it but RON said it. I didn’t believe it. It’s Ron Artest, right? Why is he annoucing it? Eventually it was confirmed. YAY. He reminds me of Dennis Rodman (one of my top 3 players of all time – probably #1). It’s nice to see him finally get a ring.


One day I would like to be like Ron and be able to thank my shrink.

I have to do assignments for class. Due today. Summer school blues. 😦

AI fans not shocked

Allen Iverson piston
Allen Iverson piston

I’ve been following Allen Iverson for about 12 years. Not as long as some (considering our home states are the same). He is a very emotional person. He hates showing it. The net is abuzzed with AI having tears in his eyes. Clearly these peeps aren’t admirers. Now that is shocking. Here is a link to the video. Will someone please upload it to you tube? I’m having problems viewing it on the DailyPress website. Hopefully someone already has. I searched last night and couldn’t find it.

I’m thinking about going to his charity event this year. It’s tomorrow! Carmello will be there among other stars. I love the Hampton Roads area. I was there in May and I already miss it. I have to find out about tickets prices, the time etc. I just know tickets are still available as of right now.

Even though I’m a fan of AI, I can also be objective. He claims he has changed again. ::sigh:: However, this time at least he admitted to having an ego in the past. (links below). I would like to see him in Miami not because he will get them to the eastern conference finals but at least they will make the playoffs. With Memphis, what are his chances to make the playoffs this upcoming season? Nil? And selfishly, if he plays for Memphis, I’ll never get to see him play on TV.

I still don’t know what he expects. Does he just want to play because he loves basketball? Or does he have to be a starter? Time will tell. I just hope he has a healthy 09/10 season.

Edited to add: He still wants to start. I get it but, I guess he isn’t interesting in just winning a championship. If he was, he would go to any team and come off the bench. Oh well. This is his life and if he doesn’t want to play unless he starts, that’s his decision.

Iverson speaks candidly about ‘most miserable’ season of his career

Q & A with AI

Allen Iverson shows his softer side, but he’s not finished
Iverson dismissed the notion of settling for limited playing time.

“Me playing 15 to 20 minutes a game? I might as well just stay home and play with my son for 15 or 20 minutes,” he said.

The idea of accepting a reserve’s role also irked Iverson.

“You earn it,” he said of a starting position. “I’ll go to (training) camp, and may the best man win. … I’m not losing that battle.”


“That would be like the perfect (career) ending,” Iverson said, “me and Coach Brown winning a championship together.”

The perfect ending Tuesday was Iverson describing his motivation for bankrolling scholarships and conducting a camp that includes sessions on gang awareness and character-building.

“I went through my ups and downs,” he said. “I know how hard life is. … I felt it was time for me to come back home, and make my presence felt … time to show my face and give back.”