video games

Wow, my last post was my 500th post! In other news regarding me, 😉 I am happy to report I will be doing something fun on my summer vacation. I will be going to my favorite spot: the beach! I have 3 days off for my birthday. I will stay at the beach for two nights and 3 days. So excited. In the back of my mind I’m thinking I should be saving all my money for school and fixing up my house. But most of the serene moments I’ve had, have been at the beach. I have to go this year.

Sad news: My Kindle Keyboard has a new crack on the border (versus on the screen). I don’t think it will get any bigger or that it means anything but my kindle is hurt. 😦 I sleep with both Kindles. NO WE HAVEN’T HAD SEX. We just cuddle. Anyway, sometimes I forget to put the screen down on my KK. I guess that is what made a small crack in the screen. I just feel so negligent. I suck.

It has been less than 30 days since I’ve had the Kindle Fire and I already feel like I’ve gotten my money’s worth. Everything else is a bonus. I’m going to do a mini review of the best Fire apps one day. My favorite new thing is playing Scrabble against the computer. I didn’t think I would even use the app since I have the game on my computer. Everything is more fun on the Fire.

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I listened to Rachel Maddow’s Fresh Air interview. (It is probably on npr.org and iTunes) First I must say that I love that she has a new book out because she is doing so much press! Yes, I’m a big fan. I wish I could go to one of her book signings. I would just faint…Anyway, Rachel talked about having depression. I can’t imagine doing what she does every night and dealing with that. She said she is a highly functioning depressive.

I’m a moderately functioning depressive. I’ve read about people who literally cannot get out of bed so I know I must be at least moderately functioning. What really resonated with me is her inability to concentrate when she is going through a cycle of depression. She has to read books in one day for her job. When she is depressed, she can’t do that. That is the story of my life right now. I love to read but my lack of concentration makes me sad. 😦 It takes me forever to read these days. I’ve read a lot since I’ve had my KK and thank Buddha for that. Without it, I think I would have given up reading a variety of topics. I would only read the books that really interest me (narrow selection).

I must admit that I enjoy hoarding collecting books more than I do reading the actual books. Concentrating is so hard. I end up getting frustrated. Another plus of the KK is that it can read to you! So while I’m working sometimes I will have that feature on. Of course I like to collect/highlight quotes so I try not to do that with nonfiction books.

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One more thing before I go: I would like to thank the kids next door for constantly bouncing that basketball. It reminds me that I cannot take a chance and buy something in the city. Who knows what I will get? music, nonstop barking dogs, bouncing balls etc. Thank you. Thank you. Country, here I come. And here I thought I was a city girl. How things change…..

it’s not prozac, bitches

The people at work define hater. Here is the perfect example of hateration: I do an impressive job on a task at work. They next day D snarks about doing work but not doing it right. (There would be no way of her knowing that – hard to explain without saying what I do). She probably doesn’t even believe it but they talk like this randomly all day to get on my nerves.

And then they joke about me seeing a shrink and taking prozac. Um, I don’t take prozac. I take Zoloft. And yes I see a shrink BECAUSE I CAN’T DEAL WITH PEOPLE LIKE THEM. (yes – blame THEM). If I had a trust fund or won the lottery, I could do my jewelry business from home. Or maybe find a people free volunteer situation (hard – I’ve already tried).

I have to do a people suck post every week cause well they do.
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I know I have to not agonize over them. I have a hard time dealing with people being snaky/annoying/mean on purpose. I have standards for adults but apparently they are too high. A person is never too old to be petty. I have learned that but I’m having a difficult time accepting it.

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LOL Rachel Maddow just said this is a summer of scandals for politicians. Well the summer isn’t over yet! Where does Rachel get her stories? She always has a fresh take on things and she doesn’t talk about the same old stories everyone else has been talking about all day.
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My cat is going crazy. Ugh. Gotta go.

Obsessed

I think it’s funny that people are debating the use of medical marijuana. Lots of illegal drugs probably help people deal with pain/sickness. I’ve never tried marijuana (or any illegal drugs) so I don’t know much about it. I don’t have an opinion on whether it should be legalize or not. It doesn’t matter to me either way. Just saying. Yes I’m watching Anderson Cooper. I used to watch Keith Olbermann but he is wearing on me. I love, love Rachel Maddow. She is truly an individual.

rachel maddow

This entry will be random. I made 105 on my second biology test!! 🙂

Speaking of medicine. I was on the lowest dose of Klonopin. 0.5mg in the morning. Keep in mind that I have/had one of the worst case of social anxiety professional people have ever seen. Now I take 1mg in the morning. Clearly that isn’t enough. Some of it is my “fault” b/c I get drowsy easily. I can’t do my work if I’m sleepy plus it makes me irritable. I don’t need medicine for that.

Anyway before I went to the salon today I took 1mg of Klonopin. It’s like taking nothing when it comes to my nervous system. It’s embarrassing and a REAL issue. Okay, if I just wrote people off (for real), it wouldn’t be an issue but I’m a softy. Here’s what happened: I was sitting in my stylist’s chair. The woman next to my station quickly turned around in the swivel chair. I jerked my body or eyes. This happened in 5 seconds. Obviously no thinking was involved. My nervous system is out of whack or it is a habit but in 5 seconds is that really cognizant? It is sort of like a nervous spasm. I don’t know. I just freak out.

It happens all the time. My stylist laughed. They noticed. See this is how the low self esteem/hating myself cycle happens. The other stylist or customer probably made a face like “WTF is wrong with her?” And my stylist chuckled. Happens all the time. That is why I stopped going to the salon 2 years ago. It is so uncomfortable. And those damn swivel chairs! Sometimes I don’t have anywhere to look. I should quit just based on money but my hair is a mess so….

I’m going off on a tangent. My point is that my nervous systems needs more than 1mg of Klonopin. I don’t want to take 5mg a day. I couldn’t even do anything with all that in my system but I think my nervous system needs it. I wish I could get a xray of my brain (too expensive and of course insurance won’t pay for that). I think my frontal lobe (or whatever) is messed up. And whatever part is for speech is abnormal.

I do notice that Klonopin works a little…for maybe 3-4 hours after I take it. I usually am less likely to freak out in social situations ifyouknowwhatImean.

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::sigh:: another pointless post…I’m off from work so I clearly have a little bit of extra time. I want to post on who I think MUST be on The Real Housewives of DC. And I have a few thoughts on Jersey even though I haven’t seen much of it. Pop culture post coming soon.

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5 cool points or to people who get the obsessed reference. 🙂 Aug 2009, baby!