believers

I blogged about this article in my social anxiety blog.

Social Anxiety Disorder in the Workplace This is me. This is my story. One thing that really got me was the following:

Too often, the research shows, employees with this are more likely to be terminated by companies.

“It’s easier to get rid of somebody who nobody knows very well. They don’t play on the softball team or don’t eat lunch with their co-workers,” according to Himmler. “It’s hard for them to demonstrate value because people with Social Anxiety Disorder have trouble sharing their accomplishments. And when they make mistakes, it’s very difficult for them to tell others about them. So mistakes get repeated.”

His research shows that employees who leave the workforce because of social anxiety have a more difficult time returning to work than people with alcoholism or depression.

Because it has happened to me. But I’m working now. What about everyone else? If you think unemployment is high for “normal” people. What do you think it is for people with social anxiety? I can’t help but get frustrated.

I can’t find the article now but there was this great piece on how Royce White, a NBA player with general anxiety, OCD ,and  PTSD is fined for not showing up to a team thing but Derrick Rose who has an injured leg is given months and months to heal. Both are seeing doctors regularly and “rehabbing” but just because Rose’s injury is PHYSICAL, it is okay for him to miss time. You have a mental issue: You’re fired. I’m sure most people are fine with this but I’m not.

Just suck it up. Exercise more. —- worked for me, it would work for you. Smoke weed (lol). Don’t smoke weed (I agree for me). Don’t take medicine, take herbs instead. etc, etc. All these people think they know what is best for EVERYONE. They think there is a simple solution. For some there are simple solutions, for others that is not so. Everyone is different. When will people learn? Never. I know.

Anyhow, I hope Royce White is not fired. I hope the NBA works out for him. I think they are still trying to work things out. But the NBA (like most people) don’t have a lot of patience for mental illness. I wish him the best.

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Okay, I haven’t done Project Real Life in 3 weeks. So here goes. I have no idea whether that link works for people not in the class. PRL is a class by Becky Higgins.

Last week’s topic was Nuturing Your Inner Homemaker. Well I can’t wait to do that once I move. One thing I can’t get out of my mind is how anxious I will be being alone for the first time in the apartment. I should probably plan something to do because otherwise I will go nuts. I probably won’t have TV or internet. No distractions. Scary.

Anyhow, I do yearn to make my next place a home. I sorta, kinda did it with my house but it eventually got too cluttered. I did well for about 2-3 years. Then deep depression took over and even though it got better (thanks to Abilify), I could never get the place clean again. I went back to the house 2 weeks ago and it was just so cold and empty. I couldn’t go back there if I wanted to.

So my main goal is just a clutter free place. Of course I wish I could buy the stuff I wanted. I saw this nice Buddha statue for $25. I couldn’t justify buying it but it would make my living room so complete.  I’ll just settle for clutter free. I also wished I cooked more (only because it would be healthier). I don’t know. That might happen.

I did buy a trunk/ottoman from Ross which I will be using as a coffee table. I can’t use a regular coffee table. I would just put stuff on it.

my new coffee table

I wanted it in brown but they didn’t have one. When you open my “coffee table”, it looks like this:

The place has hardwood floors downstairs so I brought that small rug for my office chair. Don’t worry I have the receipt in case I don’t move!

Speaking of Project Life. My mom wanted to re-size a few photos so I printed a few of my photos along with hers and I will have a couple of layouts to post soon. Well not so soon. I used slow ass Shutterfly so I say in about 10 days I will post my next layouts. I’m focusing more on pop culture/news then my own life these days. I’ll go into it more when I post the actual layouts.

What I really need to be doing is concentrating on actually moving. I am supposed to move in 25 days. Have I done anything? ugh. I have moved so many times, It isn’t even a big deal to me. The longest place I stayed was at my house for 5 years. Before that I moved every year. I have to get on the ball over the holiday. I’m working overtime on Friday for half a day. Yay! (not sarcasm)

I was gonna marry you

My uncle died from colon cancer yesterday morning. I just thought I would mention it since I’d blogged about it in the past.

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The good & bad of Oaxaca (more photos coming later – maybe this weekend)

I got sick on my travel day in Mexico. Of course I did. No shock there. But that wasn’t the bad part. The bad part was my feet! I can’t do all that walking in an airport – especially as big as one as Mexico City. I was limping so badly that the guy at the gate thought I needed special assistance for my leg! The whole Mexico City airport fiasco was a nightmare. I will never repeat it. I can get to Oaxaca by bus from Houston. I will do that next time. It must be the biggest airport ever – with 2 separate buildings. You can’t even walk to the second building. You must take a train. I hate Benito Juárez International Airport cuz it sucks. #profound It must provide a ton of jobs though. That is a great thing.

Have I mentioned that the travel part was not the highlight? The way there wasn’t nearly half as bad as the way back. Flying domestically must be a breeze.

Overall, I’d give the trip a B+ or maybe an A-. Not an A+, because I spent too much money. I’m going to do a helpful hints on Oaxaca soon and it will have shopping tips. I now know where to go to get the best deals. I’m like, totally an Oaxaca expert. :/

I’m still sick but feeling much better. My feet haven’t recovered yet though. I don’t know what made me sick. That will be included in my tips but I think it was either eating pan dulce (sweet bread) from a street vendor, consuming too much syrup*, or drinking tons of coffee or more likely me constantly checking the water temperature for my shower and not using anti bacterial gel afterwards. It’s the little things. I wasn’t thinking that checking the water with my hand (DUH!) might not be a good idea. I used my feet sometimes too. LOL.

*I have a very sensitive stomach and should have known better.

Oh yeah, that is another reason why this trip couldn’t be an A+. No lukewarm or hot water. I know some people have had lukewarm water at the hostel so it is all about timing. If/When I go next time, I have to have lukewarm water. I tried to shower with that cold water. It involved me checking it and running away. I just couldn’t jump in. I tried. Me don’t do cold showers. I feel like I’m just giving myself a cold. I know Mexico City has HOT water at their hotels. It was lovely.

I did use antibacterial gel but probably not enough. I used it only when I was out. I was only sick on airport day. Do I have to explain how much being sick while going from airport to airport sucks? It was not pleasant. But at least I got to enjoy my time in Oaxaca without feeling sick.

The one thing I really actually missed while in Mexico was MSNBC. I can’t believe it. I was sooooooo sick of that network and the repetitiveness. (When will the election be over???!) But all I wanted to do when I got back to my hostel was watch MSNBC and fall asleep. I never watch CNN anymore but they did have the Mexican version of that so that is what I watched (and the Mexican travel channel). Am I a political/news junkie or what?

I’m in a bad mood so I don’t feel like blogging on and on about my wonderful vacation. I’ve been using a lot of F bombs since I’ve gotten back. Some of it is due to me being sick, some of it is work and most of it is my living situation. But whatevs. Who cares? My fault. Everything is my fault. LOL.

I think I’m going to use Project Life to document my whole trip. Becky is right when she says “keep it simple”. Part of me wants to be creative and do a 6×8 travel journal but on the other hand, do I really want to spend money on that? After what I spent on going to Oaxaca? And I want to live on my own? Sigh. (my fault. everything is my fault). So I’m going to keep it simple and just jam everything in my Project Life binder. That binder is so huge. I would love a cute little travel journal. I can always do one later, I guess.

Disclaimer: I won a free spot in Becky Higgins’ Project Real Life class. I’m not spilling anything that isn’t on the free syllabus.

This week theme is organization. Most of Becky’s video was about her family (re: kids) organization so I didn’t learn much from that. No offense.  But it has motivated me to FINALLY label a place for dirty laundry (wow – genius!), craft/photo stuff, etc. I would take pictures but my very small place where I live is sooo small and cluttered that anyone would wonder how someone could possibly be organized there.

Now I’m going to organize all the crap stuff I got from Oaxaca in my Project Life binder before I lose it. I have so many boarding passes and receipts. That is what I’ll be doing this weekend and a few boring errands. Hurricane Sandy means I have to buy pet food tomorrow instead of waiting. I also have a feeling that it means I will have to go into the office to work next week. I doubt I will have power. The last time we were out for a week. Woe is me. Living on the east coast rulez!!!!115!!!

I apologize for this entry. I’m in a bad mood.

Let your guard down

Oaxaca, Mexico countdown: 3 days left. 🙂 I heard about the hurricane near Mexico this morning. I’m glad I have travel insurance. I think the hurricane is near Cabo and the pacific coast. Oaxaca is far from there.

I am so nervous about the airplane thing. Have I mentioned that I have never been on an airplane in my life?! I have been on the outside of an airport (Dulles) but never inside one. If it weren’t for my nausea issues, I don’t think it would be as big a deal. I’m not scared of crashing or anything. It is just my stomach I’m worried about. I’m also concerned because I will be surrounded by regular fliers. My first flight is to Charlotte, NC. I could be the only first time flyer on that flight. Let’s be real most people at the airport have been on a plane before. Don’t even get me started on the taking off the shoes thing. I am not wearing different shoes for that! I am backpacking, dammit. I don’t have room for two pairs of shoes. 😉

suitcase

I don’t know about taking that airplane pillow. It takes up so much space. I have a feeling I will be throwing it away or leaving it for someone. If I have to choose between a craft from Oaxaca or that pillow, guess which I will choose. And I hate taking pics with that i-Thing. They come out so bad. What is the point?

Enough freaking myself out. But that is all I can think about. Oh yeah and real life. Have I mentioned that my 5 day trip has basically ruined everything. Maybe that is a little dramatic but that is how it is being presented to me. Ugh. I will try to let it not ruin my trip. Thanks a lot. This trip will be a great way to practice focus on living in the moment because afterwards, my life will be let’s just say “different”. I will not want to leave Oaxaca…ever!

People are so annoying. I think everything is annoying so never mind.

I have not so good news about trying to sell my house. I will blog about it after my trip. It is kind of related to my trip because the house thing could cost me deeply if it doesn’t sell in two months. YES – two months. That sucks. I’m so glad I booked this flight without really thinking…um, yeah.

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I won a free spot in Becky Higgins’ Project Real Life class. I am doing some of my assignments partly on this blog. I am not giving away any info that isn’t on the free syllabus, btw. (Over the weekend I did new layouts for Project Life, if I have time I will post them before my trip).

First I must say I love the videos she does for us. I just received access yesterday so I haven’t had time to really dig in.

Week 2 – First Things First

There are things I know I need to do that I’m not doing. That is a long list. For now, I want to focus on exercise and my morning routine. I can’t exercise by dancing anymore due to my living situation. That is a huge bummer because it also relieves stress. I will commit to doing 25-50 sit ups a day. I can do that.

I must change the way I start my workday. It basically goes like this. Wake up. Groan. Turn the computer on. Feed my frogs and fish while waiting for the computer to boot up. Start working. Well sometimes I turn my personal laptop on to check my email if I’m expecting something. Otherwise it is just halfway sleep and straight to the computer. I do this because I know the earlier I start, the earlier I get off.

I don’t want to be still for 30 minutes. That’s “wasting time”! I’d rather have the 30 minutes at the end of my day. But sometimes that extra time is wasted. It depends. I think I want to start with 5 minutes of writing daily. That is my meditation. That is the only way I can be sure I’m focusing on the moment.

Changes

  • do at least 25 situps a day
  • cook more. Last night I baked chicken wings. That is better than the crap I eat most of the time. I also want to gradually eat less processed foods. Also, I am so mad at myself for drinking sodas again!! I had stopped for almost a year but now since I can’t drink coffee everyday (I drink it about 3 times a month), I want caffeine in some way so Mountain Dew wins. argh. Now I’m hooked again.
  • Journal for the first 5 minutes of everyday
  • I know I blog about reading more all the time but I really do have to read more. This week it won’t happen because I have so much to do but when I get back this will be a priority.
  • I have to nap everyday. Have to. I know people judge me for this. I mean I really know a person who judges me for this. LOL. And I don’t give a $#%^. Due to my current living situation I can’t take a 45 minute nap after work like I used to so I’m going to try to nap during my lunch break when I don’t have errands to run. I have done this once or twice and I do get more things done in the afternoon when I do it this way.
  • I have to get back to keeping track of my to-do crap. I have apps for that so there is no excuse not to keep a list.

I have already been working on most of the topics she mentioned for this week. So not a lot of changes. Another part of the class is to document the small things in our Project Life albums but I’m just going to do it on this blog instead.

Pic of the chicken wings I baked:

not my good camera

I don’t know how they look but they were tasty. 😉

So much to do. Must go.