The Privilege of Beauty

There are a few smart people out there. I’ve known this my whole life. I’ve been saying this my whole life!!! Geez. Does it take a pretty Asian girl to say it for people to get it?

I was just talking about this in my last entry, so I had to post Benebell’s video here. I agree with 95% of what she says. I would argue that who you know helps you more with getting a job. Yes, a beautiful person will get a job before me an unattractive person, but if the person’s father or mother is a judge (for example), that person will also get the job before me. So looks might not matter as much if the person’s parent’s know a lot of people.

So it is looks and who you or your family knows when it comes to having the easy, privileged life. I’m not saying these people have no problems, btw. ALL people have problems.

I stayed up late last night uploading 12 YouTube videos with my unattractive self. LOL. Now I have to work on the course I’m creating. Oh, one more random thing: We had a bad storm last night, and the tree in my yard broke again!! It wasn’t as bad as last time. No damage to the house. But a power line is halfway down, and I have to somehow remove the branches even though it is impossible for one person to pick all that up. I’m also scared of being electrocuted.  And I also have a plumbing emergency to deal with. Other than that, things are going great! 🙂

A sermon to white and black America

A few quotes from Tears We Cannot Stop: A Sermon to White America by Michael Eric Dyson.

Too many yellow Negroes deny light privilege the way many of you deny white privilege. We are as blind to our perks as you are to yours…Too many light folk just don’t want to admit what we all know to be the case. And I’m not speaking of light guilt, our color-struck version of white guilt. I mean owning up to the benefits and advantages of being light-skinned. We make up the same reasons why we should be spared reckoning with shade and tone as you give for not addressing whiteness and privilege.

Nothing annoys me more (okay, slight exaggeration coming) then when people don’t acknowledge their privilege.

Our being color-struck isn’t the only sign that we’ve imitated whiteness. We’ve also emulated and adopted your coarse reactions to class and sexual identity. Many of us have joined the unfortunate assualt on gay folk…Although we deny it, the same kind of people who opposed interracial marriage oppose same same sex marriage too. Black folk have blindly followed a path of prejudice that earlier ended with us as victims.


….Poor whites seem to say, “At least there’s a  nigger beneath me.” And it’s a way for poor whites to be of value to richer whites, especially when poor whites agree that black folks are the soure of their trouble.

The truth hurts.

This book is good. Not great, but it is the best book Dyson has ever written, IMHO. I love that he made it personal. I could have typed out many more quotes, but these are the ones that stood out most to me.

I just keep on running

I called and canceled my three appointments with my therapist! It was scary to pick up the phone. But the usual person didn’t answer the phone, so it was easier to cancel. She did ask if I wanted to reschedule. ROFL. I am never, ever, ever going back to her. That would be wrong on my part…to expect her to see me again.

Besides her office is 15 minutes away and during rush hour it is a little worse. I can easily find someone closer.  I’m leaning towards not doing therapy right now, but I am considering online therapy. I wouldn’t have to leave my house. Score!

The reason I’m against therapy at the moment is because I don’t know what my main issue is. Well, I know what I want to focus on (impulsive behavior), but I know not having friends AKA a support system will come up, and that might derail everything. I would have to tell her about the social anxiety, and she would know that it is severe without me telling her. She would also know about my depression because that is my main diagnosis and I would tell the therapist that.

Anyway, I’m not sure what I want to do. I think I’m going to wait until January if I decide to do online therapy. The first 5 sessions are free through my job.

The system is temporarily down for my part-time job, so I’m going to blog a bit more. I hate when others deny their privilege or don’t acknowledge it, so I’m going to call myself out on my last entry.

I’m privileged to be an American citizen, so I don’t have to worry about Donald Trump deporting me. There are people who registered under DACA and of course they have a right to be fearful. It’s not just them. Undocumented immigrants (not registered under DACA) are also scared because of what Trump has said. I don’t personally have to worry about that. I don’t want to come across as blase or noncaring.

It’s easy for me to have a wait and see approach when it comes to Trump because my life is not on the line. I just wanted to put it out there. I’m fully aware of my privilege in this situation. I do not deny it. etc. etc. etc.

White privilege isn’t the only kind. There’s American privilege. Light skinned privilege (versus dark skinned). Able-bodied privilege. Straight privilege. Male privilege. I could go on. I don’t expect people to be aware of everything and always acknowledging it cause that would be a lot! lol. But to deny it exists is only helping the person who denies it. And that is a pet peeve of mine, so I had to blast myself.

In my defense, I typed my last entry quickly, and I expect the system to be up soon, so I have to go right about now. Instead of updating my last entry,  I’ll post my planner update here:

Here are my plans from last week in my neutral Erin Condren planner:





goodbye, goodbye

I’m just putting this out there…Does anyone want to do a Project Life core kit swap? I have 3×4 cards from the cherry edition and turquoise edition. I would really like 3×4 journal cards from the clementine and olive editions. Seafoam is okay too. I have about 5-10 of each of card. That probably equals at least 50 3×4 cards.  I’m not at home so I can’t count the cards right now. So if anyone is up to swapping 50 or 100 journal cards (just let me know which quantity), let me know. Just leave a comment on this entry. (offer does not expire so if you find this entry 6 months later, that’s fine).

Speaking of PL, for March I had nothing until this weekend. I actually took my camera out! Wow, what a difference that makes. I’m excited for March now. I should be able to post my January and February layouts this weekend.


I’ve noticed that I’m becoming spoiled when it comes to food. Not in a food snob way but in a “I only want something filling” way. I used to be fine with just eating a breakfast bar, now I want real food. I need to break that habit. Food costs money. Plus what I’m eating isn’t always nutritious.  I’m thinking about eating chicken everyday (because it is cheaper and healthier than some things I consume). For breakfast I’ll stick with the sugary oatmeal or boiled eggs. I can’t believe I actually eat breakfast now. If I ever start eating 3 times a day…wow! 🙂


The TV show Girls and privilege

I’m sure there are tons of blog posts and maybe even papers on this topic but I haven’t read them. I thought all the talk of a bunch of white girls on a tv show was silly. After all it is just ONE show. Who cares? If someone (Lena Dunham) wants to create a show full of white people, that’s okay. However, after watching the show and thinking of my favorite topic: privilege, I can see the bigger picture.

Girls is just like real life. Not the content of the show but how it came together. All of the “girls” on the show got their gig due to privilege. Why didn’t any black or Asian girls get on the show? Because Lena only hired her friends…and people who weren’t desperate for work.* Who is desperate for work? People without money, people who don’t have parents who can support them.

*insert footnote: Rolling Stone interview February 2013

It is like real life. How many people get their jobs through knowing someone versus just blindly applying? To many this isn’t a big deal but if you don’t know anyone IT IS A HUGE *&^#ing deal. Trust me. How are people from the bottom ever supposed to get to the top if people only hire their Harvard friends??? As most people know, now people from the lower class have an even harder time making it to the middle.

Twilight of the Elites: America After Meritocracy by Christopher Hayes does a great job (with stats!) on this topic.

Back to Girls: I still don’t think one TV show with the main characters being white is a big deal. I just love how this show reflects real life. This is the privilege people don’t like to talk about. They won’t admit it. Instead they will talk of their struggles. “Yes my parents paid for my college tuition but it was I studied soooooo hard”. “My parents give me money to start a business but I had to work hard to keep it up”. Please! Wake up. How do they think other people live? People should really read Chris Hayes’ book to find out WHY people are this way. Why the elites will never cop to being elite. They will always talk about how hard something was.

One thing that makes me appreciate Lena Dunham is that she is fully aware of the privilege. She doesn’t come up with excuses. I don’t hate the elite, I just want them to admit it. It isn’t her fault that she went to a great private school. But to have not have empathy for the “others” is the problem.

This is my badly written essay on Girls and privilege.