Grab ’em by the shoulders

The best part, tho, will be that like 60 percent of the country doesn’t give a shit either way if a president grabs women“. – Jessica Valenti

People are really showing their true colors right now. I’m watching. 😉

Ugh. I lost out on a date! If you know me, you know I’m just joking because I’m asexual and have no desire to date. However, I was in the grocery store, picking out nine tomatoes. He said I must really like tomatoes. ROFL. I do! 🙂 Then he said, “I bet you know how to cook.” I said, “I don’t know how to cook at all.” Then he insisted that I MUST know how to cook. “No, I only fix salads.” Sad, but true. We went back and forth for some reason. I don’t freaking know how to cook!!!! I can fix chicken parmesan, but I haven’t done it in about 6 years so I would have to get the recipe.

It’s so funny. Where I live, I feel like a woman must know how to cook, or you won’t get a man. LOL. Please don’t tell me this is the attitude everywhere. Luckily, I don’t want a man. So screw that. I don’t like cooking or cleaning. Or sex. So yeah. Whatevs. Then I saw him again on the way out of the store. Haha. He said he is going to plant his own tomatoes. So jealous. He grows a lot of different plants and vegetables. I’ve only planted cucumbers. I don’t have the patience for growing tomatoes.

Anyway, could have gotten a man. You know that is all “straight” women want. SARCASM!

My first ever horoscopes were published on another website!! I’m their “resident astrologer.” LOL. There are people out there that like, know astrology. I’m only a newbie. Please don’t ask me any questions. HAHA.

I think I have it all figure out which means I know nothing. I’m going to do a three day work week when it comes to tarot/astrology. I’m planning everything out later today. Pretty much I will only work on tarot on Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday OR Sunday (whichever day I have the least plans).

The weekend will be for content creation. I’ll write blog posts, schedule all my Instagram posts for the week, work on my monthly newsletter, etc. I don’t have concrete plans for Tuesday and Thursday yet. It will probably be whatever doesn’t get done over the weekend. I just don’t want to spend all my time on something when I’m not getting much in return. I enjoy it, but I shouldn’t’ let it take over my life. That’s when I get overwhelmed and sometimes resentful.

If things go as planned, I should only be working on SWT (name of business/hobby) about 20 hours a week. If only I can keep to this schedule. Sometimes I will think of something, and I want to do it right then. For example, on Thursday I just had to redesign my whole website. It came to me, and I did it because I was inspired. That’s my problem. Too damn impulsive. I’ve had that old website design for 9 months though. After 9 months, I usually want to have a different looking website. I LOVE my new site. 🙂 It’s not perfect, but everything people often click on works fine. I’m going to fix the rest over the weekend.

I had my first therapy appointment with a new therapist. We did it online at 6PM. I didn’t have to leave my house. Score! FUCK YEAH. I love her. BUT…my insurance made me pay full price. I’m so confused. I have online benefits, so why would they make me pay $80??? I can’t afford that. I can only afford that with a credit card. FUCK.

I’m going to call the health insurance company on Monday to see what’s up. I probably will continue to see her once a month IF we continue to work well together. But I don’t want to pay $160 a month. That’s like not having health insurance. 😦

Anyway, she made me feel so great, by saying so many things. Like how I survived the bullying all on my own so I should be proud. She mentioned PTSD. I never said a word. I just said 3 sentences about growing up and she got it. The most important thing is that she said even if the Abilify does causes compulsive behavior (the studies in the UK says it does), I can still stop the spending while being on Abilify. Please god!

Anyway, talking to her was like talking to a friend…if I knew how that felt. She’s so awesome! A therapist I like? I didn’t hate my last therapist. I think we just got tired of each other after 5+ years. LOL. Or I got tired of her. Anyway, my new therapist recommened this book:
The Gift of Our Compulsions: A Revolutionary Approach to Self-Acceptance and Healing by Mary O’Malley. I’m going to try to find the book at a library since I don’t see her for 3 weeks OR I may have to buy it, even though I’m trying to not buy stuff.

Btw, I’m going to cancel the appointment with the psychiatrist especially if they are going to charge me full price! Hell no. I’m cancelling because Abilify does work…I’m just suffering from one of the many side effects.

This week I…

Music of the week: Rachel Platten, Jussie Smollett, Maggie Rogers, Ariana Grande, Lake Street Drive, India Arie, Rozzi, Solange

TV of the week:  March Madness – Go UVA!, Survivor

Podcasts of the week: So You Wanna Be a Witch, Pod Save America, The Jim Fortin Podcast, In the Dark, Tarot for the Wild Soul, The Mind Your Business Podcast, Your Own Magic

Books of the week: Now reading – 

Weekend Plans: Working on my three day workday schedule. It starts this Sunday. I’m also taking a few – okay several – online courses, so I have to schedule out which days I want to work on what. Basically I just need to schedule things. Right now what I do is have a to do list which is okay, but I’m getting overwhelmed so I’m going to change the way I plan.

Feeling good after therapy. Plus, I had the day off today. YAY. 🙂 🙂 . What else am I doing this weekend? Repotting plants, and taking my dog to the park. The most important thing is coming up with a schedule. I may do that tonight or I may work on one of my online courses. It would be nice if I had a plan. Heh.

I’m going to eat a late dinner and take my dog outside. Thanks for reading. Have a great weekend! 🙂

Rather be broken than empty

Countdown

1 day until my week-long vacation from work

Really today is my last day before my vacay. I’m only working 2-3 hours of overtime tomorrow.

I don’t know where to begin. How about some TMI? My period only lasted for two freaking days. If that! OMG. Hallelujah. Birth control rocks. Yes, I gained weight, but I’m happier with a shorter period. It would be great if it just disappeared. I have hopes that will happen one day soon. Depo Provera didn’t work. In fact, it was a nightmare. But what I’m on now (Blisovi-Fe) works wonders. It also clears up acne. That’s not my top concern though. I just want my period to be gone because I hate it.

Work is impossible. I mean it. Yeah, I’m off next week which is kind of great. But kind of not because they might go over stuff to help us. “Us” being the people that just got out of training. I am calling into two work meetings next week. The meetings are only an hour each so no big deal. I don’t like that they are at 8AM, but I can rarely sleep in. I’m used to getting up at 4:50 AM. Sleeping in for me is 6 AM.

Anyway, I barely got anything done today. All I had were questions. I got a lot of answers which was helpful, but I didn’t get much actual work done. When I get back to work on August 6, I am expected to be productive. They will be watching what we do. Closely. I’m trying not to worry about it.

My staycation plan might be kind of messed up. It is supposed to rain every single day. Boo. Not a huge deal. As long as it isn’t heavy rain all day. I don’t mind going to the local park when it is just drizzling. In fact, it is really nice when it’s a little rainy because no one else is there. Speaking of the park, I went today after work (rare for a Friday). I barely saw anyone. It was very nice. My dog only went nuts when we saw the one dog. So embarrassing. Ick.

Back to my staycation plans:

Monday: doctor, manicure (!!),  tarot readings, recording YouTube videos, mentor meeting

Tuesday: visit the river with my dog, tarot readings, YT videos, catch up on training material for my day job

Wednesday: NO WORK ALLOWED. NO tarot. NO day job. Catch up on reading, local park, working through Benebell Wen’s astrology course, sleep!

Thursday: YT videos (if not done), miscellaneous tarot stuff, local park

Friday: miscellaneous tarot stuff, astrology course,

Yep, I’m thinking about getting a manicure. I have NEVER gotten one before. I don’t wear makeup. I wear fingernail polish once a year. But for my YouTube videos, I will be holding up Tarot cards so I want my nails done.  That is the only reason why I’m doing it. It will not be a normal thing. After this, I will paint my own nails. I just thought getting a manicure would be nice. What color will I get? I’m thinking purple or black. I’m going to try to get a gel polish manicure on my natural nails. The place I want to go to is near my house, and I have to call them tomorrow to find out whether an appointment is necessary. I hope not. I just want to go right after I’m done at the doctor.

My schedule is not set in stone. As you can see, I barely have much going on. I mostly want to focus on Tarot and leisure reading since I barely have time for that when I’m working my day job. And weather permitting, I would like to go to a park every day.

One more thing: I do consider Tarot work because it is. But I enjoy it. It is only considered “work” because it takes up a lot of time.

This week I…

Music of the week (my top 8 most listened to): Christina Aguilera, Sugarland, Demi Lovato, Ellie Goulding, Janelle Monae, Ariana Grande, Britney Spears, Paula Cole

TV of the week:  Big Brother, The Bachelorette, The Bold Type

I take back what I said about The Bold Type last week. The show isn’t horrible. However, it does remind me that I’m definitely not a lesbian. That’s for sure. 😉 I’m asexual. 100%

Movie of the week: None

Podcasts of the week: True Crime Garage, Fresh Air, Online Marketing Made Easy, Generation Why

Books of the week: Now reading:

Hope to get a ton of reading done this week. That’s what vacations are for!

Plans for the weekend: I’m working for a few hours on Saturday. I’m going grocery shopping on Sunday. I have tarot readings to do. Not much exciting stuff going on. I’m more excited about my weekdays than my weekend.

My overall goal is to make the most of the next week. I want to have extended dance parties and maybe sleep more, but I also want to get a lot of tarot stuff done. Now is the time.

Have a magnificent weekend! Thanks for reading. 🙂

Just let me live my life

Countdown:

15 days until my weekend getaway

I went to the tarot coaching call on Monday night. We have three more calls left before the class ends. I’m not going to any more of them. No, I’m not letting them “win.” I’m simply not advanced enough to participate in this class. To be more specific, I cannot do this shit LIVE and on camera. This is why I want to do email and YouTube readings in the future. Everything is not for everyone.

Julie (not her real name) clearly doesn’t want to be paired with me for readings because I don’t talk enough. I guess I’m not engaged enough. And probably other things.  She mentioned that so I know that to be true. Other people probably feel that way too. Some people are nice. But others are not so understanding of shy, introverted people. That seems to be the norm in the Western world. For all I know, Julie could be an introvert too. Whatever. It’s not about her.

The video meeting on Monday went okay, but when we were doing advanced channeling, I saw next to NOTHING. Why? Because I was so nervous and anxious. When I do channeling on my own, I do see things. I saw my spirit guide. I got a message. Anyway, I think I did okay on the reading. I read for Vera (not her real name). She asked a similar question to another person 2 weeks ago, and I pulled the same card for the present she got last time from another reader! So I think I’m good at doing the tarot. I’m just not good LIVE.

I’m excited about starting my tarot reading website. I will probably start working on it this summer. Yep, that is much sooner than I had originally planned. I’m off for a week starting July 30th. I would like to work on it full-time then. I’m going to start doing free career readings on Facebook very soon. I’m looking for places to start advertising. The one place I picked doesn’t seem keen on career readings. Everyone wants to know about their love life or how a person near death is doing. My mom has been asking for another reading, btw. So I must not suck that much. 😉

UPDATE: I could erase this whole entry. So much has changed since yesterday. But I will keep this up. Nothing bad happened, but I have 2 new ways I could make extra money. However, I’m not applying for another 6 weeks. More on all this later.

I have kind of decided what I want to do if I lose my job suddenly within the next two years. I either want to get my CDL license and drive a truck or move to Grenada, Nicaragua. If you knew me, you would ROFL about me getting my CDL license. I grew up terrified of big trucks…even when they were parked! I’m still kind of scared. But maybe if I get trained, I would be okay??? Lol.

Truck drivers get paid decently ($45,000 to $80,000 seems to be the range) and you get to do your own thing AKA not much dealing with other people. I’m not motivated by money, but I am motivated by spending hours by myself. Plus, my dog MIGHT be able to be with me every day (like he is now). I did some research, and police officers apparently don’t respect truck drivers at all. Sigh. I didn’t know that until I read many drivers complaints.  All of these complaints were from white males, btw. Of course, cars don’t respect truck drivers. I see that when I’m driving. And a female truck driver? Need I say anymore? Drawbacks include I wouldn’t be able to work on my tarot business easily or at all and drive a truck. And my dog might not be able to be with me on the truck. It seems to depend on the company. There’s also the training which isn’t cheap. I think the price range is $3,000 to $6,000. Ouch. If I were to get a job quickly after training, that price isn’t bad. But who knows?

The other option is moving out of the United States. I would move to Nicaragua. I’m also considering other places. The places I’m considering retiring to are multiple cities in South America, Central America or maybe Mexico. In fact, I’m planning on retiring and moving out of the US as soon as I can. I need to get rid of ALL debt first. Back to Nicaragua. I think that is best for NOW. I wouldn’t stay there forever.

I’ve been looking at house rentals in Grenada, Nicaragua. I would consider apartments, but what if the walls are thin like in America? I can’t live like that. Been there. On the other hand, what if the walls are much thicker? Then I would consider a condo/apartment. Since I don’t know about the walls, it has to be a house. I see a great house on the market now. It is $350 a month. 1 bedroom, 1 bath. It’s furnished. The rent includes a cleaning service. My concern would be safety. It is in the city center but can I walk to the grocery store alone? I won’t have a car, so another requirement is that I’m able to walk or take decent transportation to get necessities.

It’s a gorgeous house. It has a nice outside patio like area. Too bad I can’t grab that now. Can it stay on the market for 2-3 years? 😉 I’m also concerned about internet access. I need the internet to run my tarot business or to make any kind of money. If I were retired, I wouldn’t be concerned about the internet. Of course, I’m also concerned about my dog. I have to be able to take my dog. Some of the houses I was looking at in South America, do not allow dogs. 😦 I don’t know about this particular house in Grenada.

I just feel *a little* better with plans if I lose my job suddenly. Yes, even though the thought of driving a truck is a little scary, it excites me. I just wish the training were a little cheaper, but maybe I will be able to afford it in cash if I pay off my debt. I’ve wanted to move out of the US since I was 12. Needless to say, moving temporarily to Grenada thrills me. No, I don’t hate the US. I just like adventure. The world is big. Why should I stay here? I just have my dog to worry about. I’m not staying here for anyone else.

Update on the credit card situation: The credit card company couldn’t figure out how someone put Facebook charges on the new card I never got. Well, now they locked the new card (which should come soon). So now I have TWO new cards coming. Sigh. I can’t wait until I have no debt and I don’t use that card anymore. Right now, I’m not using it. I’m just making payments. I have enough points to get a modest hotel. I wish I had enough for a flight. Not that I should be going anywhere far away.

This week I…

Music of the week (my top 8 most listened to): Janelle Monae, Shawn Mendes, James Bay, Pusha T, Lissie, Amerie, Christina Aguilera, Camila Cabello

TV of the week: NBA playoffs, 13 Reasons Why

Cavs vs. Warriors. Once again, I do not care who wins. I don’t like one team more than the other. I just want good games. The only NBA teams I root for are the Lakers and the Wizards.

Movie of the week: none

Podcasts of the week: Fresh Air, Ted Talks Daily, True Crime Garage, The Kate and Mike show, Tarot for the Wild Soul, The Lowe Post

Books of the week: 

Now reading –

Planner update: Plans of the week in my The Charmed Life Planner

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Plans for the Weekend: I have another therapy appointment this Sunday evening. Since it is free for at least 6 visits (I think), I’m going to do them weekly until they begin to charge. I got the workbook. It’s a typical cognitive-behavioral based book. I’ve only done chapter 1. I can’t remember how many chapters she told me to do before our next appointment.

As of right now, I’m not working overtime this weekend. I’m going grocery shopping, getting some reading done and I want to work on doing practice career tarot readings. I guess that is my first stop in working on my future website. I’m going to start packing what I can on Sunday.

Thanks for reading. Have a splendid weekend! 🙂

time to change the record

I have to make some changes. LOTS of changes. But I’m only focusing on two things for now: finances and diet.

I’ve been spending too much money and having more than one cheat day a week. I’m paying for my financial irresponsibility big time. As far as my eating goes, I weigh 126 pounds when I should weigh a little less. Not a big deal, but I don’t want to get back up to 130.

I spent an absurd amount at ThredUp last night (an online thrift store – amazing and so addictive!). That’s when I knew it was time to get my shit together. I’m not going to say no more clothes…yet. I still may get a birthday fix (from Stitch Fix). But I’m not going crazy anymore. I have enough clothes.

I’m still going to continue to blog about the clothes (Stitch Fix, LeTote*, etc.) and things I get on this blog; there is no reason for me to start a separate blog for that since I’m not doing it that often anymore. This is just a one-time thing where I got a lot of stuff. In two months, I probably won’t have any of these hauls or review type posts.

*I just did an unboxing of my LeTote box on snap chat. (userename: kat3x5). The snaps will stay up until Wednesday afternoon. I will do a blog post on what I got whenever I just need to unwind or when I have the time. Whichever comes first.

So yes, my HUGE haul from ThredUp will be coming in about ten days. I love doing these kinds of posts, but I can’t continue if I’m not getting anything. Obvs.

I’m talking more about finances than diet because that is more important. And my diet (way of eating) doesn’t feel as out of control at the moment. But I definitely want to focus on both.

———

I have to scream about DC and the parking situation. The Tori Kelly concert is this Saturday. Now I’m planning on going straight to Arlington, VA for a couple of hours and then head to DC an hour before the show starts. I’m not sure what I’m going to do in Arlington. Not to sound disrespectful, but I’ve been to Arlington National Cemetery SEVERAL times so I probably won’t do that. I may just hang out around the Pentagon or go to the (fashion) mall. If I go to the mall, I can grab something to eat. That is what I will probably end up doing.

I don’t have much time to figure it out so I better make a decision.

Of course, my car’s engine light is on. Perfect timing. Hopefully, it will go off today. If I have to take the bus to DC, I will…even though I already paid $25 for parking. As of right now, I’m driving to Washington with the engine light on. It’s not that far.

This is one of my busiest weeks ever. And that doesn’t include work. My planner is nuts. I haven’t had it this full in a while. I’m taking off May 4th for a mental health day. ROFL. I need a day off now. Why did I wait until May? What sense does that make? Well, I didn’t want to be behind. The company doesn’t give a shit about me, but I care about not getting behind.

different definitions of living

*****BREAKING NEWS****** I made an appointment with an OB/GYN. This will be my first time seeing one. This must be some kind of record. Where is my prize? I won’t be seeing her until early September. I have time to freak out later on.

I took a break from selling but now I have to get my sell back on. Hopefully I will be shipping a ton of stuff next week.

I have a lot of ideas percolating. I don’t know what to make of it all. That is why I haven’t done an August goals list. I’m not sure where I want to go, what I want to do etc. Nothing major will probably happen this month (at least on MY part – lol). I’m thinking long term. Where do I want to live? Do I want to get my Masters? Do I want to do home ownership again?  How much money do I want to save before I travel?  None of this stuff is happening within the next 5 years. Sure, I may go to Vegas (again) or Asheville, NC next May but I want to go out of the country for a while.

Goals. Goals. Goals.

I probably will buy a house one day. I’m  not going to get a predatory loan like I did last time. I hope those don’t exist anymore. I don’t want other people to fall victim to them.  I think I know where I want to live, but it is so far from everywhere. I’ll be living the rural life. I’ve always been a city girl, but now I know I need peace and quiet. I may rent where I want to live and then try to buy, but renting is expensive. I’ve already looked into it. Right now I’m sort of living the rural life in the city and I love it! But the rent it too high. I can’t save when all my money is going to rent.

If I do decide to get my Masters, it will be after I’m mostly debt free and have enough money saved for a downpayment on a house. Yeah, that won’t be happening soon. I have no plans to make that decision in the next 5 years. If I do decide to do it, it will probably happen in 10-15 years. After I go on one big trip.

Travel is my favorite thing. For now I will go on small trips like I’ve been doing. My mom has never been to Vegas and she really wants to go so the plan is to go back with her. I have no idea how I will deal with my foot pain, though. She isn’t very understanding about it. She doesn’t get that I could barely walk AT ALL on my 3rd day there. I could only walk short distances. We would have to take taxis or buses just to get to places on the strip. Next year for my birthday, I want to go to Asheville, NC and stay in a cabin. Those are the only “small” trips I’m counting on. (Vegas isn’t all that small now that I think about it but splitting the hotel cost with my mom helps).

Eventually, I want to travel all over the world. There are so many places I want to go. Now I’m thankful I took the opportunity to go to Oaxaca, Mexico when I did because I don’t know when I’m leaving the United States again. This may be a 7-10 year goal. I want to have a lot of money in savings before I really travel.

So that’s what’s been going on my mind. I’m thinking long term. The main goal is to save money. I’m not doing a good job of that now because I’m doing another month of Nutrisystem (!!). I know…so horrible. But it is so convenient. I love it. Too bad my wallet is hating it. :/

This week I…

Music of the week: Joss Stone, Tori Kelly, Nina Simone, Boyce Avenue, John Mayer, Natalie Imbruglia, Juanes, Paramore

Watched: Big Brother, Dexter, James Holmes trial

Movies of the week:  none

Books of the week: I’m reading the same 3 books I was reading last week:

Luther: The Life and Longing of Luther Vandross by Craig Seymour

Between The World and Me by Ta-Nehisi Coates.

Big Little Lies by Liane Moriarty

Planner update:

plans of the week
plans of the week

I’m proud of myself for getting most of my to-dos done. Last week was a major fail in that department.