I have a PT job!

…I think. Why are things so confusing. No, I signed the contract, so I have the job. The pay is what I want for a PT job. It wouldn’t do for a full-time job. For training, I only get paid $6 an hour! I don’t know how long the training will last. I will ask the manager tomorrow.

It’s a work from home job. Yay! I think tomorrow we have to order the equipment and software.

I can work whenever I want BUT training is supposed to take place at 8AM. I’m at my FT time job at that time.


Am I alive?

So far, two people purchased my astrology course. BUT I had to offer it half price to get those sales. Each person paid $20. The last day to purchase is this upcoming Tuesday (debate night!). I’m not expecting more sales. Maybe one more? Hopefully. But I’m thankful for two sales. I did mention that I cut the price because I wanted feedback. I hope these two lovely people give me feedback.

I did get feedback from a person I let see one module. They weren’t my ideal customer because the person knew too much about astrology. They said it was “too beginner.” Well, yes, it is. That’s the point. 🙂

Excited to have students. I’m also terrified. That’s why I pushed the start date from October 14 to October 21. I just couldn’t take it, plus I want to make sure the one worksheet needed for module one is in good shape. The other modules will have more worksheets that I need to get started on after I blog here.

I did apply for a part-time freelance job. It’s a work from home job. I did a test. It took about 2 hours to complete the test. If I don’t pass, I might try one more time with a different email address and my full name. The pay is not great. Some people make $150 a week, but how many hours are they working? I only need about $100 a week (in addition to my full-time job, of course). I just don’t want to spend 40 hours working a PT job to get only $100. How can I do much of anything if I’m working 80 hours a week?

I should hear back by Wednesday about this job. I’m hesitant about trying again because I don’t know if I’m going to be good at this job. I don’t want a stressful PT job. No way. Been there, done that. I might read about others’ experiences more to see if I would like the job before I try again.

I know I need a PT job because I had to cancel my therapy appointment due to a lack of money. 😦 I rescheduled for October 25th. My emotions keep going up and down, so I know I could use therapy.

This week I…

Music of the week: Lauren Daigle, Taylor Swift, Victory, Tori Kelly, Carly Rae Jepsen, Beyonce, Andra Day, Aretha Franklin

TV of the week: The Politician, Survivor

I didn’t think I would like The Politician. I don’t usually watch comedy, but this is a dark comedy. It’s full of sarcasm.  It’s on Netflix. Gwyneth Paltrow is in it, but not too much if you hate her. 😉

Podcasts of the week: True Crime Garage,  So You Wanna Be a Witch, The Astrology Podcast, The Jim Fortin Podcast, Crimelines, Online Marketing Made Easy, The Thing About Pam (overrated, but good)

Books of the week: I finished reading Everything is Figureoutable by Marie Forleo. Best self-help book in the last 5 years! Read this book. It’s everything. I wish I didn’t have the audio version, so I could highlight the important parts. But I’m not buying the Kindle version right now, I might buy it later.

I also finished Super Attractor: Manifesting a Life Beyond Your Wildest Dreams by Gabby Berstein. I listened to this also. I’m currently reading the Kindle version to highlight the parts I want to keep going back to. If you like The Universe Has Your Back by her, you’ll probably like this. Super Attractor is sort of like part two. I have to actually read it before I give my opinion. I was listening to the audio version while working.

Right now, I’m not reading anything new. I might start something soon. It depends on whether I get a PT job.

Weekend Plans: Nothing to do with the weekend, but I was off on Monday and Tuesday. I mostly worked on creating my course. I took my dog to the park on Tuesday and yesterday. I usually don’t like Fall, but this summer was brutal since my room was often over 100 degrees. I’m not off from work again until November 18. I’m off for the first 3 days of that week. I wish I had asked for more time off in December. I only have December 30th off, then I have to work on NYE, and I have New Year’s off. Blah. Oh, I also have Xmas day off, of course.

Today I’m going to work on creating my course. I mostly took yesterday off. I’ve been working my ass off! I deserve one day of just doing nothing. Besides going to the park, I did a bunch of business development stuff, which doesn’t count as work to me.

Thanks for reading. I hope to get back to blogging at least once a week from now on. This is the only way I keep up with my life these days. I have to get back to journaling on paper, or maybe I will try journaling on my computer since I haven’t tried that in years.

Have an excellent week! 🙂

I thought I was flying

I would start this entry off with a breaking news alert, but I already knew this was coming. The part-time people “let me go”…a long time ago probably. LOL. I knew it, but no one said anything. Then I got an email on Tuesday about them not getting my laptop. You didn’t get my laptop because you never asked for it.  I received no reason which is fine. I would rather not really know the real reason. Okay, I know why they got rid of me. All I got is a UPS label for their laptop.

Maybe the Tarot reading I got was referring to me losing my part-time job? I dunno. Losing that is NOTHING compared to losing my full-time job. It doesn’t even compare. I don’t want to be in that field anymore. (The field my PT job is in). If I’m not good at something, I have no desire to do it. If I suck at Tarot, I’m not going to do it just because I invested in it. It’s okay to change your mind. I don’t want to do that anymore.

With that being said, I will keep my 2 certifications for at least 3 years. Unfortunately, I have to pay dues and get CEUs every year to keep the certifications. It isn’t cheap, but it isn’t too expensive. I hate to let my certifications go, but I’m not going to be chained to something I no longer want to do. I might need it to fall back on. That is the only reason why I’m not completely cutting the cord.

UPDATE: I just received some news about my full-time job that leads me to believe my position could possibly be gone in a year or two so I will not be completely cutting the cord. It’s possible I could find another job within my company, but then I may not work from home. So…sigh. Anyway, I will probably keep my certifications for at least 5 years.

The part-time people hired me with NO job experience. So…whatevs. I’m over it. I hadn’t worked since December. It doesn’t sting like the temp jobs I mentioned a couple of entries ago.

Live and learn and never regret it.

I decided to do a few goals for the new moon year. I’m not posting all of them here because I would like to keep some things private. This list isn’t even complete. I haven’t had time to really think about what I would like to accomplish in the next 365 days. But I will list the few things I came up with. When I set my mind to something, I usually do it. 90% of the time.

Goals I would like to accomplish prior to April 17, 2019

  • Buy a domain through Squarespace by November.
  • Learn the Tarot thoroughly.
  • Do readings for my mom. (first one in May 2018 – next month!) 
  • Learn my Oracle cards.
  • Finish A Course In Miracles lessons by September. 
  • Have a place in my home to do Tarot readings by October.
  • Have my website up by January 15.
  • Get back on my treadmill weekly.
  • Buy a storm door by October 1.
  • Have a website drawn out by September.
  • Offer a stranger a free reading in exchange for something by February.

Yes, I moved the purchase of my website back because I don’t see the point of purchasing a domain if I’m not going to work on the site. I feel like that’s wasting money. The domain name will be there in November. I also don’t want people visiting the site until it is the way I truly want it to be. Is that perfectionism or just smart?

I’ve been saying I want a storm door for the past 3 years. Money has stopped me (lame excuse), and I have to figure out how to get it installed and delivered. I want it all to happen in one day. They want to deliver it and then come by two days later to install it. Not going to work. I also have to figure out measurements. Sigh. I just don’t want to do the work, but I need a storm door. I’m not going to tell anyone about this goal because I might flake out again. 😉

Update: My mom took an online Enneagram test. She’s a 6 (and a 5)! Like I said in my last entry, if she wasn’t a 2, she’s definitely a 6. She’s a 6 because she’s paranoid and she depends on others for everything. I’m independent, so that drives me a little nuts. I will blog more about this next week. If I had read the basic fears of a 6, I would have pegged her for that over a 2.

This week I…

Music of the week (my top 8 most listened to): First Aid Kit, Florence + The Machine, Pink, Camilla Cabello, Kacey Musgraves, Lissie, Justin Timberlake, Cardi B

Ariana Grande has new music coming out tomorrow! I hope she releases a good album. She has never released a good, cohesive album. I usually love 4-5 songs on each of her releases. Her last album is probably her best, but it still isn’t great.  I think that is what separates her from other big stars in pop music. But then again, I don’t think Beyonce has released a good album…ever. And people love her. She’s on my mind because she was at Coachella.

TV of the week: NBA playoffs,  Survivor, How to Get Away With Murder

Movie of the week: none

Podcasts of the week: The Lively Show, Fresh Air, The Lowe Post

Books of the week: I finished reading This Messy Magnificent Life by Geneen Roth. Great book and I don’t usually like essay books. I can relate to this book so much. I can say that for all her books. 4 stars.

Now reading –

Planner update: Plans of the week in my Get to Work Book


Plans for the Weekend: Working, returning my laptop to the UPS store, going to the post office, getting gas for the lawnmower. Fun stuff, I know. That is all happening on Saturday. On Sunday, I hope to just chill and read.

I’m very nervous right now. In less than 2 hours, I have my meet and greet with the Advanced Tarot Class. I haven’t written out what I plan to say when I introduce myself. As soon as I hit publish on this post, that is what I’m going to do. I’m going to keep it very short. What a shocker!

Um, I just found out she’s using Zoom and we’re going to be on camera!! Oh god, now I have to get dressed. 😦 I was dressed to take my dog to the park. I get right back in my comfy PJs whenever I get the chance. I have to use my Mac because guess what? I can’t get on the internet on my PC. I’m glad I have the Mac. Btw, I hope to be able to fix my PC laptop. I haven’t tried everything yet. Now I’m much more nervous! AHHHHHHHH!

UPDATE: This class is serious. OMG! I went second (by chance) in the meet and greet. And people probably could tell I was reading a little. I didn’t read it word for word. But I had pointers. FUCK! In the coaching calls, we are going to be paired with another person and doing READINGS. Double fuck! Our cameras are on the whole time. How can I do a reading when my dog is right beside me? My “office” space is small. More on this later. I thought I would do an update when I’m freaking out. Why not? LOL. OMG. I’m going to bed now.

Have a wonderful weekend. Thanks for reading! 🙂

Have enough hurt of my own

I ordered a leather Neiman Marcus jacket from ThredUp. It retails for $405. I paid $86 for it. I’m never buying another leather coat or any coat again (or at least for the next 5 years). I already have a somewhat newish Anne Klein leather coat that I love from ThredUp, but it wasn’t exactly what I was looking for. The Neiman Marcus jacket is almost perfection. Here is a pic of the back and front:



I was looking for a long leather jacket from ThredUp when I bought the Anne Klein jacket. But I couldn’t find anything. Everything that I liked ended up in someone else’s cart quick. So I’m stoked to finally have the jacket that I really want. The AK jacket is rather plain, but I love the way it fits and feels.  Here’s the Anne Klein jacket:


It retails for $161. I got it on sale for $36!! Nice. I got a better deal on this then I did with the Neiman Marcus jacket.  I would post a ThredUp haul because I ordered a few more items but it is just stuff to wear around the house and to the park. Very boring and not worth sharing.

The project that I’m working on at my part-time job is ending very soon as in a day or two. 😦 I’m sad not to make extra money, but happy to have my life back. Working two jobs is tough. This project lasted almost two months, and I made over $400. Not bad, but I wanted to make at least $500.

Hopefully, we will have work again before 2017 ends. That probably won’t happen, but a girl can dream.   In the meantime, I will focus on my course and reading books. I was on a roll until the PT job started back up. I’ve read more books so far this year than I read all of last year.

I still haven’t signed up for the meditation class yet! Ugh. What am I waiting for? I still don’t want to pay $38 for it. It could be the most enlightening thing ever or it could be what I already know. Still thinking about it.

Just wait it out

Update: She emailed me! I’m going to start working soon. NERVOUS.


Some people have friends. I have a therapist. Some people have both. No, I don’t consider those people lucky. haha. My therapist gave me perspective on the whole part-time job situation. She said stuff I already knew. I had already said these things to myself, but it’s helpful to have another person say it/confirm it.

They gave me a laptop. They put me on the payroll. I have access to their top secret info. Obviously, I will hear from them eventually. They are still hiring people. My guess is that they are waiting to find enough people in the area so they can train all of us together. HOWEVER, wouldn’t it be nice if I didn’t have to guess? I asked a simple question: “did you get my email”? No response.

I know for a fact that she’s in the office because I can see her posting stuff online. She might be very, very busy, but I just wanted an acknowledgment of an email. Geez. I didn’t even ask when I would start training or anything deep about work.

But I’ll just wait. I get to relax a little. I was freaking out when I thought I might be starting work soon. Freaking the fuck out. I don’t know. I still feel like I might crash and burn. Now I’m focusing on my full-time job and the certification course. Of course, I’m still checking my email. I keep my email open these days. That’s probably not healthy because every minute second a response doesn’t come, I get either anxious or frustrated.

They gave me a laptop. I have access to all their top secret things. I’m on the payroll (with no pay). Repeat.

I just have to be patient…even though I feel like I’ve already been patient.


Don’t ignore me

So much for my busy weekend. I didn’t receive a response from my TWO emails. This is frustrating. I hate waiting for responses. UGRH! And one email was just questioning whether she received my initial email. Just answer yes or no!

There is a chance she could be out of the office, but there are other people who could get back to me, so I don’t know what’s going on.

However, I did get to work on my certification class this past weekend. I rested. yay. But I want work. Dammit. Now I really feel like I’m in limbo. Why are they ignoring me? Why did you give me a laptop and no work? WTF?!!

I’m beyond frustrated. I’m pissed. This says a lot about their company. Hopefully, I can update this entry with good news or just delete it, but I’m not counting on it. I want/need a response TODAY. How am I supposed to make money if I can’t even train?

I’m clearly an anxious mess right now.


Update: No email so I’m having an epic solo dance party. 🙂 Free time, baby!!

new toy

laptop box


I picked up my laptop today. Their office is less than 8 minutes away from my house! I’m excited to have the computer, but I don’t know what to do next. Well, I know I have to do online job training, but no one told me HOW to get there. So I guess I will send an email tomorrow.

UPDATE: Uh, oops. I found out what to do. Tomorrow I have to contact the trainer and I guess I will have to start in-person training. I’m nervous because I don’t know shit. 😉


bad pic of laptop


The closer I get to doing work, the more nervous I get. The good thing is that I can work ANYTIME I want. Unlike my full-time job, I can work at 4 AM on any day, or  I can work all day on Sunday. Sometimes I wake up at 4 AM, and it frustrates me that I can’t work at my FT job. At least I can work at my PT job if I should ever suffer from insomnia (rare for me, but it does happen).

I met my trainer today while I was picking up my laptop. She seems really nice, but most people with social skills seem nice. So I don’t know. Nope, I don’t naturally trust people.

I really don’t know how I’m going to train for this job, work my FT job and study for my certification at the same time. I don’t want any of it to go away, though.

One thing I never mentioned is that this job is somewhat seasonal. They are busier during certain times of the year. We might not work for 1-2 months and then work 3 months straight. I just wish I knew what the busy seasons are. I know now is one of those times. My fear is that I’ll be in training during this whole busy season and then when it is time to really work, there won’t be work for a couple of months.

Anyway, I shared some video of the laptop on Snapchat, and I also unboxed LeTote on there today. I won’t mention my username right now, but anyone interested can just go back a page or two to see my username.

I’m going to try not to play with my new laptop. It is setting up high on the bookshelf. Away from my dog.

I’m dancing

Part-time job update: I still have to do more basic online training before I get my laptop. I plan on completing the training over the weekend, so I will probably pick it up on Monday or Tuesday. Everyone else gets their laptop by FedEx, but since I live in the area, I have to pick it up. I’ll be going there for job training anyway, so I better get used to going there.

I’m really concerned about my dog getting to my work laptop. (He doesn’t mess with my work desktop).  That cannot happen! I will put it on a high shelf on my bookcase when I’m not using it. He already had a part in breaking my personal laptop screen over a year ago. I had to buy another computer. They would kill me if I let anything happen to their laptop. They would probably make me pay $2000 for it even though there is no way it is worth that much.

We only get paid once a month. My first check will be on October 15th. I’m going to set up a special savings account for taxes, so I won’t even think about touching that money.

I’m so nervous about the in-person training. At this point, I’m planning on having to train on Saturdays since they know I work full-time. The interviewer and VIP of the company indicated that would be okay. That will slow down my progress  (and money) for sure, but at least she didn’t say I wasn’t qualified because I can’t train during the week. I get off at 2:30 or 3:00 in the afternoon so I could train for a few hours in the afternoon if necessary.

This is all too much. I tried studying on my own and YAWN. lol. I like taking structured classes.  I want to take the certification course, but $895 (if purchased before September 16) is too much for me. I don’t have that kind of cash around so it would have to be mostly credit and I don’t know for sure how this job is going to work out. Have they even gotten my background check back? I don’t even know.

UPDATE: Looks like I passed my background check. I don’t know what I was so worried about. I don’t have a criminal record. I worry about everything!

So that is where all that stands. I still feel like I’m in limbo. I’ll feel better once I know when I’ll be doing the real job training in person.

I call into  2 Overeaters Anonymous meetings and 1 Debtors Anonymous meeting a week. I wish I could find another DA meeting. I have to do more work on myself. The meetings are inspirational (for the most part), but it isn’t a cure. I think I’m ready to speak up in the OA meeting, but I don’t want to leave my phone number because someone will call. If they have a sponsor they have to call 3 people a day so why not call the newbie? I don’t want to say, “no, I don’t want to leave my number.” I might leave my email address. That feels a little safer.

I never answer my phone unless I recognize the number because the Hillary Clinton campaign keeps calling me about volunteering and some telemarketers are probably calling too.  I don’t know who is who because I don’t answer!

This week I…

Music of the week: Britney Spears, Lauren Aquilina, Halsey, Shura, Ariana Grande, Mariah Carey, Fifth Harmony, The Chainsmokers

I’m so in love with Britney’s new album. I wasn’t expecting even to like it, and now it’s BAM! Best pop album of the summer??! I read a headline  (from Rolling Stone?) calling it the best Britney “comeback” album. I just chuckled when I saw that headline and continued to ignore the hype, but this is a decent album. I wouldn’t recommend it to everybody. It isn’t that good. But Britney fans and pop music fans, in general, should give it a chance.

Brit is performing some of the new songs at her Vegas show. I wish I could see that show again since she is adding songs, but that’s probably not happening.  My mom does want to go to Vegas…

TV of the week:  Big Brother, Survivor

Movie of the week: none

Book of the week: I’m currently reading Sex Object by Jessica Valenti.

Plans for the Weekend: I’m going to work on my training. The faster I get this basic stuff done, the quicker I can get into the real training and start making money. I also have to mow the lawn. Wouldn’t it be great if this was the last time I had to mow it? I don’t think that’s happening, but a girl can dream.

I am seriously considering signing up for that $895 (ouch!) certification course. At this moment, I think I’m going to do it. Then I will be starting on that this weekend.

UPDATE: I hope I didn’t make a big mistake by signing up for this course. Ack! I signed up on Saturday. I’m working on chapter one now. I don’t know how I will complete this course and do training for my PT job at the same time. lol. Whatevs. The job training is more important.

Semi-busy weekend. It will only get busier once I really start the part-time job so I better enjoy this while I can.

Enjoy your weekend!