Here are a few entries from my private journal. I deleted some names. June was a roller coaster. Btw, there are probably a lot of grammatical errors. I type these entries on my phone.
June 3, 2021
Ugh! Overtime next week. Boo.
And I’m supposed to start with A next week. Sigh. Yes, it makes me angry. They are taking my rest, sanity and opportunities from me.
I hate my day job. But thanks for the healthcare.
No therapy this week. Boo to that too.
I’m nervous. Nervous about everything. The unknown. Work.
My dog is laying his head on my pillow like a human. He’s such a sweet boy.
Grateful for: free time today
June 6, 2021
I wonder if my therapist is guilty of gaslighting? Does she even know what that is? I barely know but she does question some of my experiences. I feel.
I don’t often interrupt her but maybe I should instead of just nodding.
Ugh. Tomorrow begins a non great week. I’m going to try to work most of my time on Saturday.
I meditated for two days in a row. That’s good.
Grateful for: nice walk with my dog
June 10, 2021
This is supposed to be about a possible gastroparesis business.
I know I wouldn’t feel comfortable doing group classes unless I couldn’t see the people. Maybe. But I can do other things.
I would like to slowly explore having a resource for people with GP.
Right now I don’t have time. But I may have some time when/if the VA business slows down and I stop doing overtime.
It just feels right. I don’t have clarity on getting a certification. Because that costs money and I know all the stuff won’t apply to me but I will learn a lot. Not that I have time right now for school. I need time and money.
But I can provide free resources and support.
June 20, 2021
UGH! My mom kicked my dad out. The day before father’s day. I will never forget. At least we got to spend some time together yesterday. I took him to Walmart alone. Mom wasn’t feeling well.
He gave me $20 and when a woman was asking (begging) for money, I gave her $2. Then my dad asked, “How much did you give her?” I told him and he gave me $2 back. That was nice. He never got his father’s day card, though.
She’s too paranoid to live with. I wish I could buy a house. Or rent. I was looking on Zillow. So many nice places. But I’ve got a long way to go.
Still don’t know about OT this week.
Hope my dad is doing well. I hope he has someplace to stay.
June 27, 2021
Took my dog on an impromptu park trip today. It was nice but too many dogs there. I might do one more summer Sunday.
My mom still sucks. If she knew he was sick, why did she kick him out? I wasn’t aware of how out of it he was.
To play catch up, dad was found wondering in Pennsylvania. Luckily someone took him to the ER or called for an ambulance.
So my sister is looking for nursing homes. So glad she is doing that. So grateful for that. And I told her that on Facebook. What my mom did was shitty.
I’m supposed to be planning this next quarter or at least the next week.
Grateful for: my sister
The end. These aren’t all the entries, of course. I journaled almost every day this month. LOTS of drama at the end of the month. I paid for my dad to have a hotel for 3 nights, but he didn’t want to pay for more nights or he really doesn’t have the money. He is in the ER (long term ankle pain and disoriented) until my sister can find a nursing home. I hope I can visit him this summer or fall.
MY MOM SHOULD APOLOGIZE.
Thanks for reading. Have a good week. Get some rest. 🙂