I’m just a window pane

I’ve been a very bad girl. I ordered two tunics and two maxi skirts!! GroopDealz has great deals. It’s better  than eBay when it comes to clothes, jewelry etc. I’ve decided I will use GroopDealz for future gifts.  I usually ignore their emails because I don’t want to spend, but I have Stitch Fix on my mind and I was pinning tunics for my Pinterest board last night. Then I saw “Tunics on sale for $9.99” this morning. Of course, I opened the email. I ordered a light blue one (pictured below) and a fuschia one.


If the tunics are too long or too baggy, I will just wear them when I’m walking my dog or doing yard work. I hope they fit well. It looks like my style, but I can’t tell. I haven’t worn a tunic that length since high school. (And that was only because we couldn’t afford clothes that fit so my clothes were misshapen. LOL). I also ordered two maxi skirts. I bought a blue one and green one (pictured below). Each was on sale for $9.99. I’m hoping for good quality. Otherwise, I’ll just donate them or give them away as gifts. haha.



It is interesting how “the GOP establishment” is coming out against Trump NOW. Isn’t it too late? But I just realized that they gave the American people too much credit. They thought people would be too smart to vote for Trump. Sigh.

This week I…

Music of the week:  Toby Lightman, Tori Kelly, Jewel, The 1975, Lissie, Demi Lovato, Coldplay, Little Mix

It is nice to rediscover Toby Lightman. Her music got me through some rough times.

TV of the week: Mad Men, basketball, political stuff

I called the daytime hosts at MSNBC lightweights. I forgot about Tamron Hall and Andrea Mitchell. Love them. They are not lightweights. They are professional journalists. Anyhow, I did find a news alternative to MSNBC. I no longer watch MSNBC during the day or evening. If I want news, I get it from The Young Turks.  (I’m not a paying member (yet?). I watch their videos on YouTube). Yes, I am late. Very late. The only thing I don’t like about them is how pro-Bernie Sanders they are. I wish they would try to be neutral when it comes to Hillary versus Bernie. Anyway, here is a clip of them talking about the decline of MSNBC:

I agree. I don’t think MSNBC will be around in 2 years…unless Trump becomes president, and the network decides to be outraged at the things he does. As of today, they are very much CNN Lite during the day. Who wants that?

Movie of the week: I wanted to rent Spotlight this weekend, but I spent my money on clothes instead. 😦 I will rent it; I just don’t know when. With all the basketball coming on, I might wait until April.

Books of the week: In the future, I want to blog more about the books I finish reading so this will be a long-ish part of the entry. I finished reading The Black Presidency: Barack Obama and the Politics of Race in America by Michael Eric Dyson. I gave it 3 stars on Goodreads, but I really would give it 3.5 stars if that were an option. He lost me a bit in the middle and at the end. Some of it is redundant and I already follow Obama closely, so I know this stuff.  However, I do feel this book is an important read.

The best part was the beginning where he explains how Barack Obama may not be strong on black issues because his history isn’t a slave history like most black Americans.  I know people have said this before, but I thought it was silly.  Some were using this as an issue saying he wasn’t black enough, so I dismissed a lot of that talk. But Dyson made me believe that is why Obama is the way he is. His ancestors weren’t slaves therefore, he approaches and thinks about race differently.

Overall, I agree with what Dyson is saying: Obama could be better when it comes to race issues. But that isn’t my main critique of his presidency. It’s just something to note.

Currently reading:

  • Never Broken: Songs Are Only Half of the Story by Jewel (page 159) This is not just an autobiography. It is also self-help.
  • Americanah by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie. I just started this. Yes, another book on race.
  • Chanel Bonfire by Wendy Lawless (audiobook) I’m on chapter 3. Audiobooks are supposed to be quick “reads”, but I have to be in a certain mood to want to listen to audiobooks, so it is a very slow “read” for me. I can’t believe Amazon has this book on sale for 1.99 right now. I would have bought it if I didn’t have the audiobook. Oh well. Too late.


It is supposed to snow tonight, so I don’t know what my weekend plans are. I hope I’m not stuck. Next year I will have a shovel. For sure. I just thought since we had a 70-degree day recently, that winter was over. Uh, no. Sucks.

I’m going to work on my practicum right after I post this entry. I really need to work hard on that this month. I guess that is the main thing I will be doing this weekend.

All of this energy, been bottled for way too long

The last time I posted about Ferguson, I think I lost ALL my readers. And I didn’t even say anything controversial!! I just said don’t loot because it hurts innocent people and we don’t know exactly what happened. But that isn’t going to stop me from blabbing again. I had to stop watching the news this week. In fact, my TV has been off for most of the week. This has really brought out the worst in people. If you agree with the grand jury, you are a racist. If you don’t agree, you’re…I don’t know what. A police hater?  A dumb liberal? A person who plays the race card? (<—hate that term). People are just saying the most hate filled things, especially on Twitter and Facebook.

My opinion is almost the same as last time. No reason to burn down buildings. Some people have no job to go to now. That sucks….especially when you are living paycheck to paycheck. Eyewitnesses are unreliable. I said that last time. I don’t think we will ever know what really happened after the incident in the police car.


Onto much lighter subjects:

Even though I spent Thanksgiving alone, that doesn’t mean I didn’t overindulge. I will definitely be going to spin class on Sunday. Yesterday and today I worked 5 hours each day. Tomorrow I fear will be a much longer work day. Can’t explain. Can’t complain.

Since I passed the board exam, I have to pay annual dues, earn CEUs and guess what? TAKE ANOTHER TEST. The horror! Fear not, this is only a one time thing and it is given online. I can take it at home. Yay! I have a year to take it and I must pass it to stay certified. No pressure. I have no idea when I will take it.  I’m mentioning this now because I am currently taking a class to help me prepare to pass this test. Guess who isn’t all that motivated? I’d rather be knitting, sleeping, or reading etc. So there’s that.


Music for the week: Jessie J,  Taylor Swift, Tristan Prettyman, Lucy Hale, A Great Big World, Amy Ray, Toni Braxton, Mary Lambert

TV for the week: Big Brother Australia, Army Wives, Pretty Little Liars

Big Brother Australia is over. 😦 I might start watching the Canadian version next. I dunno. The Australian version is the best of all of them. Are Australians just more interesting or do they do a great job casting? hmmm. I said I would have a movie marathon on Thursday. Instead I started watching PLL again. I must have seen season 1 at least 5 times. lol. Can’t get enough. Did you know my two guinea pigs are named after characters on that show? Ezra and Toby. Obsessed, much?

Movie of the week:  none

Books of the week:  I’m 44% through What are You Hungry For?: The Chopra Solution to Permanent Weight Loss, Well-Being and Lightness of Soul by Deepak Chopra.  I’m 99% sure I’m not going to finish it. I don’t need to read this book.  I think I need You Can Buy Happiness (and it’s cheap) : How One Woman Radically Changed Her Life and How You Can Too by Tammy Strobel. It is about not buying STUFF.

Knitting projects of the week: I didn’t knit that much this week. I worked on my shawl. Excuse the knitting jargon that will follow. I’ve been working on how to do lace with the Craftsy class and a little help from Youtube. I finally know how to SSK (slip, slip, knit). I used to avoid patterns with ssk in it. Now I can do it! Awesome.

Knitting may just seem like some tiny hobby. But to me it is much more. I’ve been wanting to learn to knit since I was 10. I had so many knitting books but I could never learn. I thought I was doomed. What’s wrong with me? Why can’t I knit? Other people can do it. NOW I CAN…and that amazes me. In case it isn’t obvious, I love learning new stuff.

Crochet projects of the week: I’m just working on chains. I feel like I don’t have enough hours in the day to do everything I want to do.

Pics next week…if I get to work on my projects. :/

At least that’s what people say

A few unpopular thoughts/questions on what is going in Ferguson, MO:

  • I feel bad for all the mothers, sisters, friends etc. of murdered family members that get NO JUSTICE. At least this case is getting attention. People are murdered every day and a lot of these go unsolved. No one gives a damn. Attorney General? DOJ?  FBI? Where was this when John Doe or my cousin was murdered?
  • There is never a reason to violently loot. Never. Not only are looters selfish, they have no empathy. What exactly did these business owners do to them?
  • Is this a circus or what?
  • Why is the attorney for the family trying this case in the public? We aren’t the jury. Adding to the circus…
  • Are people forgetting that we have no idea what happened? Well, only one person alive knows and he’s in hiding. (I don’t believe eye witnesses. Research it, they aren’t reliable according to the stats). The only way I would protest is if there was video showing wrongdoing by the officer. Just FYI: I am not one of those people who blindly think cops are the good guys. FAR from it…
  • Shame on the people coming from all over the United States using Mike Brown’s death as a reason to start trouble in Ferguson.
  • I think many in the media don’t want to cover this story at all but feel they have to.
  • Is there really a reason to peacefully protest after 9PM? I know they have the right. blah, blah, blah
  • To end on a semi-positive note: I think it is great what leaders are doing, trying to curb the violence and lead a peaceful protest.

I probably shouldn’t post this…..

Don’t laugh at Andy!

A bizarre thing happened today. Two people were talking about Anderson Cooper being beaten (“hit at least 10 times”) in Egypt and LAUGHING! I mean like it was the most hilarious thing in the world. Not chuckling. I don’t bring this up to say anything about their character, I was just so shocked. What if he died? Okay, he didn’t. And he if he was really hurt, he used a lot of makeup to hide it. Everyone uses makeup on TV so I wouldn’t be surprised if he hid some of his bruises. But why were they laughing? Do they know how many reporters were over there? Do they know that the reporters had no idea (???) that it would get violent. (I find that hard to believe but whatev).

(This isn’t the video Cooper’s camera man shot with his Flip cam but I’m not going to search for it. It is probably on CNN’s website).

I wrote one of the people off as a FOX news watcher. Okay, fine but what was the other persons excuse? He/she doesn’t watch Fox news. If I had to guess I would say they think all politicians are the same. You know the people who voted for Nader because Gore and Bush were exactly the same? Yes all politicians lie but I’m not that cynical. I do believe a lot of preachers are full of shit (no offense) so I get that type of cynicism. LOL. Where did that come from?

I’m asking a lot of questions. No answers! Back to Anderson Cooper.

It was hard to hide my shock. Do they hate him? Or it is because he is a journalist? Did he get what he deserved? I DON’T GET IT. I had CNN on ALL night because I was so concerned about him and the whole situation with the museum. I still don’t know why the museum was a target. But that ish was insane and it had to be scary. Did you see the people on camels with machetes? (Maybe they were just knives…)

I used to be an Anderson admirer but now I forget to even turn to CNN…so I rarely see him. He is doing a tour soon and I remember thinking, “Not going. No way” when I found out he was coming here. I was just thinking about the money issue and what is he going to be talking about anyway. Does he have a new book? Now I know he will talk about Egypt. That is all he may talk about unless he does have a book or something…

I might go. I live near the venue. If the tickets are less than $25, I’ll consider.

I had a horrible day today. I haven’t watched any news since watching CNN last night. But I say the people have spoken: The president must go.

I guess that isn’t how it works. Back to my suicidal wishes/nervous breakdown.

walked a mile in my shoes

Sometimes I wish Virginia wasn’t in the news for silly political stuff. Of course it is all over MSNBC and Fox (I assume CNN also). Then  Jon Stewart did a whole segment on it. He went to college in VA. I really believe that is the only reason he sometimes goes on these VA rants. Not that the Commonwealth doesn’t deserve the negativity. Hey, at least the governor signed the green energy bill. That is the only good thing I can say for now.

I turn the TV now…I think it has something to do with me not watching local news so when I see it nationally, I scream (sometimes out loud) “PLEASE STOP!” Sorry someone is doing a “VA is for Haters” piece on MSNBC. *groan*. I already turned the channel. Yes I laugh @ the “VA is for Lovers” thing all the time because it is dumb and it gives anti-gay people an opportunity to put stupid bumper stickers on their cars. But I do love the logo.

dumb and stupid. how scholarly of me.


I walked a mile today. Outside. Today is “walk day” or  something so I did that. It was almost 90 degrees but I didn’t really feel it until the end. I was planning on doing it since last week but I was so glad it was today. I sooo needed to get out of the office right at that moment. Sigh. Perfect timing.

CX invited me to a dance class. (not really only dance but I can’t say the name due to search engines). I had to say no because I still don’t have clearance from a doctor to take any classes. Who knew that anxiety and sleeping problems would cause me to have to get a doctor’s note. And I don’t have a doctor so….To flip the convo, I told her I was taking yoga soon. But I still need a doctor’s note so…My counselor thinks it is absurd that a person with anxiety NEEDS a dr’s note. If anyone needs yoga, it would be a person with anxiety.

I hope she doesn’t mention it soon because I’m not going to volunteer that I need a dr’s permission. It is rare for a young and seemingly healthy person to need a dr’s clearance. I’m a bad liar. I don’t even try to lie, I suck so bad at it. That is probably one reason I don’t have friends. *Unwilling to lie* lol.

I need to figure out this yoga crap soon. I was thinking about just getting a DVD. I could tell CX that. That isn’t a lie….


It is currently 89 degrees in my house. I lived through one summer here w/no AC at all but now I’m having fits. 🙂 I get up to start things and just get delirious. I can’t do anything. *whine* Seriously I do have AC. Got a window unit. It only works with a remote!!! ROFL. Who makes anything like that? I think they should be required by law to put that on the box because I would NEVER EVER buy anything that needed a remote.

I blame my cat. I had the remote in the window sill throughout the winter. Occasionally my cat would play on or near the sill…..But shouldn’t it have fallen straight down?? I’ve looked everywhere. My cat does take things and runaway but she can’t carry a remote!

Anyway, I ordered a new one today and I can’t get it soon enough. I have my doubts about getting it because the man didn’t spell my name or city right. And I only gave him the street address once so here’s hoping that I actually get it soon.


89 degrees, deliriously yours

Tolle is my shrink

I’m all screwed up and it isn’t completely do to the time change. I haven’t been watching the news. I don’t who Massa is. I know he works in DC…or used to but WTF………I didn’t watch one second of Chris Matthews or Rachel Maddow toda or Friday. I feel lost. I need to get to work early tomorrow so I can listen to NPR.

My furniture is coming Saturday. I still have a lot to do to prepare for that. I’m not working this Sat. I’m going to the library and looking for a flea market spot. I’ve never been to the indoor ones. I hope the first one is good enough and I won’t have to go to the second. My real concern is that both will suck. Not to go into detail right  now but I’m actually having a display this time. I already brought dirt cheap but cute spring themed stuff. purple and pink…

I’m listening to an awesome book by Eckhartt Tolle. I like how he says, “don’t TRY to get rid if the ego. It isn’t possible” I need to hear that. I’m always wondering, “how can you just lose/forget yourself?” How hard does that sound? Tolle words gives me hope. I need the book because I’m constantly wanting to jot down notes when I’m listening. The name of the book is “New Earth”. I’ll link to it later. I will definitely blog about this more…

Just felt like checking in since I actually wrote in my paper journal for the first time in a month. I also painted my nails blue. Multi-taking. I have to do a major to do list. Lots of things to do tomorrow…including phone calls for myself & work.

half of my heart

I didn’t know how bad the situation in Haiti was until I got home from work. I knew there was an earthquake. But I thought since there were bigger ones in Cali before (a 6.5 maybe?), that this wasn’t one that would leave so many dead. Obviously I haven’t been surfing the net at all. I knew it was serious when President Obama help was mentioned. Then I watched Olberman’s show and it left me in shock and horror.

I’m sorry.

I don’t care whether what I say is wrong or right….from this point on about everything.
I tried or did repent. It would be nice to apologize in person.
Half of my heart wants to flee.
Half of my heart gets the situation.
Half of my heart feels like I’m always fighting a losing battle.
Half of my heart believes what they say.
Half of my heart is full with hatred or resentment.
Half of my heart is filled with simple desires.
Half of my heart is filled with doubt.
Half of my heart feels like I don’t deserve anything, including love & respect.
Half of my heart wants at least one misfit friend.
Random: The movie Whatever Works looks like a must see & I’m not a Woody Allen fan.

I don’t think I’m doing Avon tomorrow (or anytime in the near future). My heart isn’t in it and I’m not attracting anything good in my current situation. And the universe has told me, it isn’t happening. I’m going to drop the brochures off @ corporate.

Most of me knows this isn’t the right. I meant to say IS right.

Doesn’t Mean Anything

*groan* (is she ever happy?) I forgot what it is like to be cold in this house. It slows me down so much in the morning. All I can think is, “I’m cold. I’m cold. I’m cold. I’m cold. I’m tired. Oh, crap do I have to iron? I’m cold. I’m cold. Where are my clean socks? (Kitty), leave me alone! Can’t you see I’m trying to get dress? I’m cold. I’m cold. Ugh, now I have to fix coffee, should have set that up last night. I’m so tired. I’m cold. I’m cold. I wish I could watch more of Morning Joe but I have to go.”

And during most of this I’m standing still because I’m cold or overwhelmed.
I wanted to comment on the Rush Limbaugh thing before I didn’t care anymore. First, the NFL is probably the most conservative sport in America. All but one team give most of their money to the republican party during the past year. The owners and coaches for the most part are conservative (some exceptions, I’m sure). My point is what every rational person knows: Limbaugh is too controversial to be part of a NFL team I’m not thinking of his past statements but what he WILL say in the future including more of “I hope Obama fails” and way more polarizing things than that.

Who would want to work for a team, where everyday writers will be asking you about what Rush said? He spouts controversial BS everyday. That is why he is #1. But to have that as a part of daily life? NO ONE wants that. I bet the ppl who turn him down are conservative and some may listen to his show.

I don’t have a problem with Rush trying to buy a part of a team* but the NFL ownership is private. He doesn’t have a right to be given a fair chance. Other rich people have been turned down too. And he knows this. He may have lied said some outlandish things but he isn’t stupid. No one should be crying over Rush not being able to be a minority owner of the Rams. Please. I’m so sorry he is so rich and can have anything he wants…except part of the Rams. He should try the Miami Dolphins. They are all about diversity.

*On the other hand, I’m glad he doesn’t own a part of my favorite team. 😉 I don’t spend $$ on the NFL. I just watch the games and Rush is already rich so what difference does it make?? If you want pure comedy listen to the callers calling in to Rush about the NFL.

OMG111!!!!!!!!! Rush can’t buy into the NFL, what is the world coming to. “I hate what they are doing to you.” Sometimes I feel like Rush is holding back laughter doing these “poor you” calls. Seriously people, get a grip. I’m not the only one laughing.

As far as liberals go. WE have abandoned Jesse Jackson and that jackass Al Sharpton years ago. They don’t speak for rational people. It’s sad that two smart men would shame african americans just to self promote. I strongly dislike both. I wish Obama (it has to be a black/mixed race person) would tell AL how much he is hurting things. Obama and Jesse don’t speak for a reason. In fact he probably wouldn’t um, ‘bother’ himself with Sharpton.

It bugs me when people let Shapton bully them. Who is he? A f*&^ joke. And you are going to bow down to him??? COWARDS. Even though I am disgusted by what Don Imus had to say about the Rutgers women basketball team, I hated that Sharpton had any part in that.

My main problem withe Al Sharpton is that he took money from the REPUBLICAN PARTY to stay in the democratic race. scrum of the freakin earth. Yes, I’m holding back. Want to read about it? Check out MSNBC’s article: Inside Al Sharpton’s campaign. He is dead to me. DEAD.

Since the Reverend Al Sharpton has entered the primary season headlines from New York City papers have been nothing but troubling. Connections to Republican operative Roger Stone and questionable campaign finances have led to investigative reports by the New York Times and the Village Voice. To top off the bad press former Campaign Manager Frank Watkins spoke with the Voice in a “wide-raging interview” published today. In the interview Watkins describes why he left the campaign, the Stone connection, and some questionable actions surrounding current Campaign Manager Charles Halloran and his staff.

…holding back

These Sharpton/Jackson comments don’t reflect my feelings on the NAACP. I hate when people intertwine those two fools with the NAACP.

empathy = bad?

I’ll preface this by saying I’m very tired and I’m not trying to write a thesis. Also, it is filled with generalizations and this is just my opinion.


Empathy is the capability to share your feelings and understand another’s emotion and feelings. It is often characterized as the ability to “put oneself into another’s shoes,” or in some way experience what the other person is feeling.

What is wrong with the word ‘different’ and ’empathy’? It is so funny how freaked out conservatives are by the word ’empathy’. Yet they used the word compassion to win over some people in 2000. I knew it was BS all along. Conservative and empathetic?? LOL. Who fell for that?

Conservatives aren’t bad. Liberals aren’t good. People in the middle are sane. Seriously, when I realized that conservatives think in black and white and tend not to be compassionate, I stopped hating them so much. The groups are different. (What, I thought we were all the same.) Liberals tend to see every side. They are more compassionate. And some are empathetic.

Conservatives and liberals just think in a different manner. Is it nature or nurture? I would say a bit of both. I do believe some people are born with more empathy. Just like sociopaths are born without empathy. I don’t understand how people can think in black and white and think that it is okay. While they would look at me like I’m wrong for seeing gray. I would love to get into the mind of a conservative…for a day.

Of course this all comes about because of Obama choice for the supreme court: Sonia Sotomayor. Not once during the introduction today did Obama or Sotomayor say the word “empathy”. Transcript here. Here is what he said

First and foremost is a rigorous intellect, a mastery of the law, an ability to hone in on the key issues and provide clear answers to complex legal questions.

Second is a recognition of the limits of the judicial role, an understanding that a judge’s job is to interpret, not make law, to approach decisions without any particular ideology or agenda, but rather a commitment to impartial justice, a respect for precedent, and a determination to faithfully apply the law to the facts at hand.

These two qualities are essential, I believe, for anyone who would sit on our nation’s highest court. And yet these qualities alone are insufficient. We need something more.

For as Supreme Court Justice Oliver Wendell Holmes once said, the life of the law has not been logic, it has been experience; experience being tested by obstacles and barriers, by hardship and misfortune; experience insisting, persisting, and ultimately overcoming those barriers. It is experience that can give a person a common touch and a sense of compassion, an understanding of how the world works and how ordinary people live.

And that is why it is a necessary ingredient in the kind of justice we need on the Supreme Court.

I know Obama has talked about empathy before **GASP** but by the reaction on conservative radio, I thought that was all he talked about today.
I’ll conclude with a bit on ‘different’. I could write forever on this. It really bugs me when people do the “we are all the same” shtick. Is it an American thing? Yes we are all human. No we don’t have the same opportunity.

-a schizophrenic and uh a non-schizophrenic have equal chance to become a lawyer?
-a lower/middle class person and a person who has parents as Harvard alumni have an equal chance to get into Harvard?
-a lower class person has access to the same lawyer as a middle class person?
-a person going to a sub par high school have equal footing with a person who went to the best public/private school?

For people not to acknowledge these things is mind boggling. IMO, they are lying to themselves…maybe to appease the privilege they have and don’t want to recognize. It is better for their ego to believe that everyone has an equal chance…which is bullshit.
I have to enjoy my free time before my 5 week summer session. Tomorrow school starts.