I’m just a window pane

I’ve been a very bad girl. I ordered two tunics and two maxi skirts!! GroopDealz has great deals. It’s better  than eBay when it comes to clothes, jewelry etc. I’ve decided I will use GroopDealz for future gifts.  I usually ignore their emails because I don’t want to spend, but I have Stitch Fix on my mind and I was pinning tunics for my Pinterest board last night. Then I saw “Tunics on sale for $9.99” this morning. Of course, I opened the email. I ordered a light blue one (pictured below) and a fuschia one.


If the tunics are too long or too baggy, I will just wear them when I’m walking my dog or doing yard work. I hope they fit well. It looks like my style, but I can’t tell. I haven’t worn a tunic that length since high school. (And that was only because we couldn’t afford clothes that fit so my clothes were misshapen. LOL). I also ordered two maxi skirts. I bought a blue one and green one (pictured below). Each was on sale for $9.99. I’m hoping for good quality. Otherwise, I’ll just donate them or give them away as gifts. haha.



It is interesting how “the GOP establishment” is coming out against Trump NOW. Isn’t it too late? But I just realized that they gave the American people too much credit. They thought people would be too smart to vote for Trump. Sigh.

This week I…

Music of the week:  Toby Lightman, Tori Kelly, Jewel, The 1975, Lissie, Demi Lovato, Coldplay, Little Mix

It is nice to rediscover Toby Lightman. Her music got me through some rough times.

TV of the week: Mad Men, basketball, political stuff

I called the daytime hosts at MSNBC lightweights. I forgot about Tamron Hall and Andrea Mitchell. Love them. They are not lightweights. They are professional journalists. Anyhow, I did find a news alternative to MSNBC. I no longer watch MSNBC during the day or evening. If I want news, I get it from The Young Turks.  (I’m not a paying member (yet?). I watch their videos on YouTube). Yes, I am late. Very late. The only thing I don’t like about them is how pro-Bernie Sanders they are. I wish they would try to be neutral when it comes to Hillary versus Bernie. Anyway, here is a clip of them talking about the decline of MSNBC:

I agree. I don’t think MSNBC will be around in 2 years…unless Trump becomes president, and the network decides to be outraged at the things he does. As of today, they are very much CNN Lite during the day. Who wants that?

Movie of the week: I wanted to rent Spotlight this weekend, but I spent my money on clothes instead. 😦 I will rent it; I just don’t know when. With all the basketball coming on, I might wait until April.

Books of the week: In the future, I want to blog more about the books I finish reading so this will be a long-ish part of the entry. I finished reading The Black Presidency: Barack Obama and the Politics of Race in America by Michael Eric Dyson. I gave it 3 stars on Goodreads, but I really would give it 3.5 stars if that were an option. He lost me a bit in the middle and at the end. Some of it is redundant and I already follow Obama closely, so I know this stuff.  However, I do feel this book is an important read.

The best part was the beginning where he explains how Barack Obama may not be strong on black issues because his history isn’t a slave history like most black Americans.  I know people have said this before, but I thought it was silly.  Some were using this as an issue saying he wasn’t black enough, so I dismissed a lot of that talk. But Dyson made me believe that is why Obama is the way he is. His ancestors weren’t slaves therefore, he approaches and thinks about race differently.

Overall, I agree with what Dyson is saying: Obama could be better when it comes to race issues. But that isn’t my main critique of his presidency. It’s just something to note.

Currently reading:

  • Never Broken: Songs Are Only Half of the Story by Jewel (page 159) This is not just an autobiography. It is also self-help.
  • Americanah by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie. I just started this. Yes, another book on race.
  • Chanel Bonfire by Wendy Lawless (audiobook) I’m on chapter 3. Audiobooks are supposed to be quick “reads”, but I have to be in a certain mood to want to listen to audiobooks, so it is a very slow “read” for me. I can’t believe Amazon has this book on sale for 1.99 right now. I would have bought it if I didn’t have the audiobook. Oh well. Too late.


It is supposed to snow tonight, so I don’t know what my weekend plans are. I hope I’m not stuck. Next year I will have a shovel. For sure. I just thought since we had a 70-degree day recently, that winter was over. Uh, no. Sucks.

I’m going to work on my practicum right after I post this entry. I really need to work hard on that this month. I guess that is the main thing I will be doing this weekend.

it hurts me to hear the melody

I voted on Super Tuesday! 🙂 It was pointless, but I guess I wanted to feel like a part of it. I begrudgingly voted for Hillary Rodham Clinton. I didn’t have much of a choice. If I were a Republican, I would have been excited about voting. They have something to vote for. Anyhow, it took less than 5 minutes to vote. I’m worried about the general election, though. That place can only hold about 5 or 6 voters at a time (!!). I guess there will be a line. I am already planning on asking for a half day or all day off on election day. Chances of getting it are probably slim.

I’m so excited and I shouldn’t be. I scheduled my first Stitch Fix for April 14th. Ahhhh! Finally. There is a chance I might cancel it (again) if I don’t have enough funds to buy any of the clothes. I wrote a note to my stylist saying that I wanted a maxi dress and a specific handbag.  I can’t find the handbag anywhere. Only Stitch Fix seems to have access to it. They will probably end up sending me another type of bag, and I’ll just send it back. I want that bag and that specific bag only.

I cannot wait. If I had the money now, I would move the date up. It is very tempting. When the stylist looks at my Pinterest board, she should be able to get my style. I’ve been slowly adding new things. I’m trying to be specific as possible. I erased a bunch of things I no longer want because I found them on my own (boots and the overalls).

I choose April 14th due to money reasons and I’m hoping she’ll send me something I can wear to the Tori Kelly concert. I keep saying “she” but there is, at least, one male stylist. I was going to try Trunk Club because they get their clothes from Nordstroms. I love Nordstroms, but that doesn’t currently work on my budget. I even talked to the stylist at Trunk Club on the phone, but no can do.

Oh well. My practicum access is not working AGAIN. So I’m just sitting here, wasting time. I have the news on mute. It will basically be over for the Repubs and Dems tonight. Trump versus Clinton. Scary! 😉

Edit: Well I guess Cruz is still standing since he won Oklahoma. That was the only surprise of the night. And Sanders is still alive. I still think Clinton and Trump will pull through.

Speaking of news, I feel like I should boycott MSNBC. They don’t cover news anymore. They only cover politics. They have lightweights on during the day. Melissa Harris-Perry had no choice but to go because they kept preempting her show.  In my heart, I know not watching is the right thing to do. BUT I do like a few people they still have on air. And I’m kind of addicted to watching the news. I have an aversion to CNN and Fox News so what do I watch? Nothing or CSPAN. I should just follow the news on Twitter like everyone else. That is where I get most of the breaking news.

I’m going to read in bed since I can’t work on my practicum, and I can’t work late.  I have other things I should do, but nah.


The (slow?) Death of MSNBC.

When I realized it was really happening, I was sad. I’ve been watching MSNBC for over a decade. Prior to that, I used to watch CSPAN a lot. It’s just sad. Less than 2 years ago, Phil Griffin (the prez of the channel) was saying he wanted MSNBC to be the answer to Fox News. Now? It’s over. Ronan Farrow and Joy Reid shows being cancelled is only the first step. There will be a lot of changes. They are going for a “straight” news approach. When I want to watch straight news, I watch CNN.

Ed Shultz can kiss his show goodbye. Al Sharpton is soooo gone. My real concern is: what will happen to prime time? The moment Rachel Maddow is gone, MSNBC is officially dead. What will happen to Chris Hayes? I know he can do straight news but he would probably be so bored by that. I think Griffin will get rid of a ton of people. And I  am hoping, Chris Hayes is NOT on the list. I know he’ll always be around (somewhere) but I like having him on doing liberal news each night.

I can’t believe how sad I am over this. It’s like a part of my life is slowly being torn away. (dramatic, much?) I think Morning Joe, Tamron Hall, Andrea Mitchell, Chris Matthews and Jose Diaz-Balart will stay for sure. Maybe Alex Wagner too. The weekends have sucked for a while. I like Steve Kornacki but not his show. It’s too nerdy and I’m a total nerd. I love Melissa Harris-Perry but her show is extremely repetitive from week to week My god, who is the producer? I still watch her show sometimes but I usually can’t watch for the whole 2 hours.

Remember when Up With Chris Hayes was the best. show. ever. ??? Talk about being sad to see a great show go. I NEVER missed his show when I was home and if I wasn’t home, I would stalk the site to watch it online.

Oh well. All good things must come to an end. I think I’m going to stop watching it during the day. I will check in with  prime-time as long as Rachel, Chris and Lawrence are on. During this time of year, I’m usually watching sports so I don’t watch much cable news at night.

I have to blame liberals for this one. They act like they are too good to watch TV. “I don’t even own a TV”. Thanks a lot. I’ll probably go back to watching CSPAN. Maybe I will really learn something. 😉

walking the dog

I’m so angry. I can’t even begin to guess what is reason #1. Is it that while others (re: my coworkers) or wondering what to have for dinner, I’m contemplating quitting my job or suicide. They go hand in hand. Sorta. If I quit my job, I may as well kill myself. If I kill myself = jackpot! Obviously it should be suicide but I’ve tried in the past and it didn’t work so why will it work NOW? Am I angry enough? Last time I was just sad/depressed. Maybe one needs to be angry to commit suicide.

I started a book on the history of suicide and how to prevent it etc. Sorry, I don’t believe in suicide prevention. Well I guess some people can be talked out of it. People with faith. There goes that word again! People with friends and family support. What people don’t get about suicide is that the person BELIEVES* that the world is better off without them. That includes spouses, kids, etc.

*Beliefs are everything…unfortunately.

So I’m not going to kill myself today or probably this year. That reality sucks. I want suicide to always be an option. There is freedom in that. Freedom in knowing that at anytime I could end THIS.
I should be writing this in my paper journal. Maybe it’s lack of sleep. I’m pretty sure it’s not PMS (but then again I’m not really keeping track of it). Maybe it is I’M SICK OF PEOPLE ALWAYS PUTTING ALL THEIR ISSUES ON ME.

Dude, do you act like an adult?? We have to start there first. LOL. Yes, I’m uptight. There are certain things (mostly types of annoying noise) that I cannot tolerate. I guess I should be put on Valium or something so I won’t be able to hear the noise. OR MAYBE YOU COULD STOP POPPING YOUR GUM OR YOUR INK PEN OR YOUR SODA BOTTLE (?). You know act like an adult???? Why is it ALL on me? “Oh she is uptight, a control freak etc.” When it comes to noise…hell yes!

If you think this is nuts, you should see me during PMS. Don’t even look at me. Make noise and I will excuse myself.

Today I went to pick up a prescription – no not Valium – and it wasn’t ready. I told them to have it ready at 3PM and it was 3:50. Normally this wouldn’t upset me but:

1. I had a “I hate people” day. (This occurs on most days but when I’m around new groups of people it is even worse. IS EVERYONE THIS ANNOYING? Maybe that is why I don’t like humans?? Lol)

2. Several roads were closed/being worked on. I’m not joking. I had to do a lot and knocked over a cone to get to the pharmacy. (I will never forgive Obama for this. I can hold a grudge – shocking!)

3. It was one of the rare times I went through the drive-thru. He said “Do you want to wait?” Wait, where in the drive-thru?? After all this I did not want to park and go in. But I know I would need some drugs tonight after the day I had. (I skip sometimes…when humans aren’t around – ha). I could have done that in the first place.

Most of all I’m mad at myself for being mad at the pharmacy. After I said I would wait I said, “I said 3 PM!”.
The people inside the pharmacy didn’t seem to hear. I’m hoping he had the mike turned off because I said it as I was driving off. Regardless, it didn’t need to be said. I didn’t have to have a reaction but I did.


Oh well. My paper journal will feel loved tonight. Egg rolls for dinner.

I never thought I would be on the side of the damn Nader voters (I don’t know what to call them today) but that is what happened yesterday. And the democrats deserve it. But it’s just the House and didn’t this happen to Bush and Clinton during their last terms. Isn’t this normal??

I don’t dislike Obama and most of his policies. In fact as of today I have no problem with him being Prez in 2012 (so not happening but I’d vote for him). I just wish he hadn’t fucked up so much by trying to do so much at once. Yes you can do health care reform…but not if you wanna win again. He is just too intelligent. With intelligence comes arrogance (generalization). Oh well I still think in history he will be treated as the president who did the most and didn’t give a damn.

Unfortunately Mr. President by not giving a damn, you hurt the liberals feelings. LOL. (I can say this because I’m liberal/progressive). I’m still confused on the “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” thing.

Btw, the prez is an INFP. I could not possibly hate him. 🙂 He is a thinker. He analyzes too much. He doesn’t talk just to talk which is bad in this crazy culture. He is a dreamer. There is a spot for him but maybe not in the bad economic/war time

Chris Matthews was outta control last night. I had MSNBC on all night (I have to sleep with the TV on). I thought it would be easy to sleep to “Another republican wins!” Blah, blah, blah, But Chris Matthews kept making me laugh out loud. Ugh, Chris I was trying to sleep.

I wonder why I’m tired…Oh, the point of this was supposed to be that the democrats voters/public deserve this for not voting for Howard Dean. I will say this until I die. You had your chance.