major fail

I want to say that just because you have a cell phone doesn’t mean you ANSWER IT or even turn it on. I have the cheapest possible plan. I don’t have a land line only because the line constantly went out so why bother? Anyhow, I usually shut down the cell phone at 4 or 5PM every day….except on Fridays. On Fridays I usually shut done at 1PM and don’t check my voice mail/texts until Monday around 9AM. Good luck getting in touch with me.

But people can’t grasp that concept. They think because you have a cell phone (or any phone) that you check your messages. NO. Unless I’m expecting a phone call, my cell is in my purse. I’m unavailable. I don’t even think about it. Maybe I should think more in a social way? Oh, stop being bitter. (<— talking to myself)

FUCK. I got a D or F in a class for the first time ever. I'm a A/B student. Long story short is that I turned in a blank test for the final. Yes, OMG! 😦 Even if I had checked my voice mail a little earlier, I don't think it would have helped. I sent her the test again. Less than 24 hours later…but guess who has two email addresses. FUCK!!!!!!!! I just replied to her. Apparently she doesn't check that email or something. Also I don't check my emails regularly unless I know something is coming. I'm a lost cause. I get distracted. Fuck.

Whatever. #Fail. Major. Over it.

(not really)

Tomorrow I will be at the flea market by 5:30 to sell. I'm more nervous than usual. I'm not used to selling mostly jewelry. The good thing is that it is eye catching so people will stop. I don't have to worry about that. Unfortunately it won't be that warm tomorrow so I may not be able to set up my jewelry displays due to wind but I'll try.

Sigh. And I only have one magic pill (abilify) until Thursday. Great. When should I take it? heh. Some random person who could be a doctor or just a knowledgeable person says Abilifiy lasts a week in your system. I hope that is true.

This is going to be a looooooong weekend. I hope the sell goes well.

what I cannot change

I really need to find my paper journal. This entry (minus the pictures) needs to go there. I know it is here somewhere. I refuse to buy a new one. I spent $20 on that journal! I’d never spent over $5.00 for a journal until I saw it in Barnes & Nobles. It is more than halfway full so I do need a new one. Yes I’m saying “need”. Writing is like therapy for me…listening to music falls into that class also.

ABILIIFY – Um, Hmm. I really want this to work. Being able to get up on the weekends rock! But for the past week, I have been getting up at 4AM. I’m not 100% sure this is due to the medication. I don’t go to bed at the same time every night so I think it is odd to get up at almost the exact same time every morning. 4:09AM. That is weird. I’m pretty sure someone is slamming their car door at that time. But what really is bad is that I was getting sooooooo tired at work. It was ridiculous. I can’t go in until 6AM so I would try to do homework, catch up on the news etc until 5AM.

That was not working. AT ALL. So last night I stopped taking the med at night. Guess what I didn’t set my alarm and woke up at 7AM. HOWEVER, there are other variables to consider. I finally turned my window unit AC on. That blocks out some outside noise. (I really miss that in the winter – I can hear everything when I don’t have my AC on). The other variable is that I took 1mg of Ativan before bed. I don’t buy that having that much of an effect. I don’t take it often but there is no way that very low dose knocked me out.

Tonight I’m skipping the Ativan. And I will start taking Abilify around noon everyday. I would like to take it before work but I’m worried that it will make me sleepy. I took it at noon today and couldn’t tell if it made me more tired. Like I’ve said before, I am always tired. Abilify just gets me up and moving more…especially around the house. It’s awesome but I have to sleep.

Sigh. Tonight will be another experiment.

What Abilify DOES NOT DO: It doesn’t do help me focus on school. Sure I have more energy but I made 3 brooches in two days. LOL. 😉 I will post pics of those later. I’m planning on selling this Sunday. Weather permitting. I’ve just started “making” brooches so as of right now, I have no plan to sell them this weekend.

I’m just bored with school. Or I can’t focus. Or I suck. I dunno. I have my midterms next week. One is on Tuesday morning. I also have a dentist appointment!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (on Tuesday) Yes exclamation points are necessary. I can’t believe I made the appointment.

I have noticed that I’m more normal. Sorry can’t say more social. That sounds like I’m making friends and stuff. But I have gone up to workers in the craft store and asked questions. I became a regular at the craft store for a week. That is something I would shy away from in the past. Going to the same store 3 times in one week…NEVER. But now I feel more ‘normal’. I even exchanged something. Normally, I would just live with it.

I was also more conversational on a phone call. Too bad it wasn’t work related. It was my own stuff. I don’t talk normally but to him, I sorta did! 🙂

I know I’m using the word “normal” a lot but when you are abnormal, you notice that there is a socially excepted way to be. There is a norm. No one is really normal, I guess. But I’ll show you abnormal. Nothing about my life at my age is the norm. Nothing.

I have to go. One last homework assignment is calling but I have some cool pics for you jewelry lovers:

Here are some polymer earrings. They look better in person. I would love to be able to make these one day but for now I’m focused on beading. Oh, yes these are mine. Not selling. 🙂

earrings

I’m debating on what to do with the following two pieces:

I’m thinking I will sell the above even though I wore it once and loved it. Both are these necklaces are made of resin.

Resin necklace

Anyone who wants the above will have to pay full price. I love these pieces. Gotta go.

Tryin’ My Best

Photos, photos, photos:

I got up early this morning to set up my selling display. At least I know what I’m up against. The table I have is so tiny and all my stuff isn’t here yet!

jewelry

I won’t be able to set all the jewelry out at once. I will probably have 4 of the best necklaces out there. And 12 rings. All the Avon will be out because I don’t have much. I just took these pics so I could remember what to put where when I’m really there. On the two big necklace stands I will have better looking necklaces but I don’t have them yet.

rings and things

The flea market doesn’t provide ANY tables. I brought that table for myself so I could have a better place to do my homework. (My cat took over my “office” 2 years ago…) So this is my only table. I might also use a cot if I can find it from last year’s sell. People don’t like bending down to look at jewelry. Noted. 😉

I plan on selling the day before Mother’s Day. I hope it doesn’t rain. And no wind would help…..
——————

Here is a big chunk of Demi Lovato’s 20/20 interview. I am mainly aware of Demi becuse of her anti-bullying campaign. I haven’t seen any of her movies. And “Sonny with a Chance” ??? How cheesy! It isn’t her fault or any of the other actors. After all it is a Disney show so what should I have expected? I do have a few of her songs and I will be buying her next album. A lot of her songs are about self doubt, relying on yourself etc. so of course I like her music. (She writes her own stuff).

I knew the bullying affecting her deeply. She never confirmed the eating disorder thing until recently but there were rumors. In a way, I’m sad for her. I’m not saying others should feel anything, this is how I feel. I’m also very angry. I’m pissed that people (well, kids – whatever) can ruin lives like that. Demi is a role model. She is only 18. I’ll say it, I look up to the girl! She has dealt with the bullying and now has more than one disorder. SIGH. Stop the bullying! I’ll stop before I get more pissed.

No, one more thing: Demi was fortunate to get inpatient help but what about these other kids? I worry about them.

PS: I’m not saying Demi isn’t happy and doing better now. She is strong, has a support system and has her youth (still!).

How I Roll

Now that I don’t have the Twitter announcement for each blog post, I may blog more. Or am I procrastinating? I am so behind on studying for school. I can’t wait for school to be over! And I may not go back…for this certificate. I’m sort of over it at the moment. Finals are in less than a month. I will cram like crazy.

It does make me sad that my lack of concentration and motivation is affecting me like never before. I love learning and this stuff isn’t as boring as economics. I hated econ. I had to take part I and II. Hated it.

Besides being excited for school to be OVER. I have been getting ready for my mother’s day flea market sale. I’m selling mostly jewelry. But I am also looking into other things. I don’t have much time. I don’t even have a date for the sale. Last year’s sale didn’t go quite as planned. The first Saturday I went it rained. So I got up at 5am for nothing. The next weekend it was so windy that none of my jewelry displays would stand. Ugh. However, the sale went okay.

Thinking of picking a date is making me nervous. I don’t have many options if I want to sell before Mother’s Day. I think I will have enough to sell for more than one day. Maybe I will sell every other month through September…if it isn’t to painful. I don’t know. Once a year is enough for me.

I will have a pics galore. It should be fun???

I went to Target during lunch. I was supposed to go to Kroger but I passed it and figured why not? I’m also sort of back into couponing or so I thought. OMG, I don’t have enough patience to look for certain brands. I HATE shopping (excluding music and books). The last thing I wanted to do was be in Target. I brought a box of Fiber One bars and got 60 cents off. Woofreakinhoo!

I was so exasperated. There was a baby in every aisle…with a mom, of course. And then I kept dropping the coupons all over the floor. 😉 I felt so lame walking around with coupons! But saving is smart. I only clip coupons for what I normally buy. I am not giving up on this. But from now on I will only use coupons at places I’m very familiar with.

Gotta go.

not reality, it’s actuality

I’m bummed. No water. No call backs. (Yes I did call the plumber back but I won’t again. If he doesn’t want to do it. I just need to know). Update somewhere in this entry. It wasn’t my water heater, it is the pipe. It is completely ruined. Apparently that is worse than having a broken water heater.

My cat is going to run out of water. 😦 Damn, I did rush into a store but I didn’t buy any water.

It sucks that this is happening and midterms are next week.

One good thing is that I don’t have to make up today. No one had today off so I got it. yay! It is rare for 8 hours to be out there. I guess people are saving time for spring/summer.
———————
Since I was home I did get to watch Court TV Tru TV. If I had a DVR, I would probably record that when I’m at work. I hate when they show taped trials and have people comment on them. How fake is that? They already know the verdict. Get rid of the talking heads. Oh, that isn’t what I’m supposed to be blogging about.

While watching Tru TV, I saw a commercial for NovaSure. I want! I want! I don’t really have a heavy period so at first I dismissed it. Info about NovaSure from an unbiased site:

NovaSure is a minimally invasive procedure that many women turn to in place of a hysterectomy. During a procedure, electromagnetic energy is introduced to the uterus with a small wand, similar to what is used during an ultrasound. The energy breaks up the lining, causing it to shed. By reducing the amount of uterine lining, there is less bleeding and cramping each month.

Treatment is usually over in less than two minutes and women can return to their regular activities in a few days. Since the procedure is performed through the vaginal opening, there is no incision and no stitches.

…After healing, most women experience lighter periods, less cramping, and a decrease in PMS-related symptoms. More than 90 percent of women who have had the procedure are satisfied with the results. For women who have suffered for year from heavy cramping and bleeding, the NovaSure procedure is a welcome relief to their symptoms.

I am the person who would never, ever get unnecessary surgery. I am the person who would never be foolish enough to try something new. However, I’m desperate so bring it on. Just my luck. I would get my uterine lining removed and nothing else would change. This procedure is obviously not for women who plan to have kids. I have a feeling a doctor wouldn’t do this on a 20 year old because of course you will change your mind and want to have kids. I’m sure I could convince a doctor to do it to me. I’ll just say:

“I think sex is disgusting” “I hate people” etc. I’m sort of joking but um, I’m not having any kids in this body. That I know for sure. I’m going to read about other people’s experiences before I decide. I doubt I decide anything in the next 6 months. I’m not impulsive when it comes to new, scary procedures.
————-
The warranty people just called me. It will cost me an extra $100 to get it done. At this point I don’t care. He will fix it Saturday morning. Don’t worry I will buy bottled water for my cat….
————————
To end this uplifting entry I’m going to post the last of the rings I will be selling at my 2nd annual Mother’s Day flea market sale. I hope this isn’t all I will have but I’m still going to do it even if this is all I have. I want to have things other than jewelry.

love these. so fun!

already posted these

Aren’t they lovely? I hope I have more to sell but if not…I’m willing to sit there all day with these.
—————-
I need to study & eat. I haven’t taken my medicine because I don’t want to drink anything else but I guess I will. I’m way off schedule with the Wellbutrin. I will probably skip that. Argh, I hate skipping new meds.

RollingInTheDeep

Something is wrong with me. I wish I was joking. 🙂

I cannot focus on my school work. For some reason, this is the weekend I decided that I’m going to do my (annual?) mother’s day flea market sale. Why not profit off of a fake holiday?? And of course that is sooooooo much more interesting then doing school work. #$%&

I don’t know exactly what I’m selling. I know I want to do “handmade” gift baskets. But I don’t know what to put in them to make a profit yet. I will probably do a couple of perfume sets and maybe baskets full of candy? I’m just trying to keep everything under $10 – $12 since no one wants to pay much at a flea market. I’m not going crazy with that idea since it could be a money waster.

I am excited about the jewelry I’m selling. My concerns about that is the organization. I guess I should separate the costume jewelry from the real jewelry. One thing that is annoying but I completely understand is when people go on about how they are allergic to cheap jewelry. I guess I have to have an appropriate answer. Last time I told the woman, “All I know is that it is nickel free. Sterling silver”. Or whatever.

I have very sensitive skin. I can’t even wear stuff made for sensitive skin without breaking out so I get it. But that doesn’t stop me from still occasionally using the product or wearing the cheap jewelry. I know not to wear the jewelry every day.

Here is a sample of the cheap but FUN costume jewelry I will be selling:

How fun are those? C’mon! I might keep one for myself. I can easily make a profit selling these. They aren’t my favorite type of rings. But for now I’m focusing on something I can afford and make a decent profit on. These rings definitely aren’t for the people allergic to cheap jewelry and I will tell people that when asked.

I don’t know how much jewelry I will have but I will post pics of most of the jewelry. Is it better than me whining, right? 😉