It don’t come easy

I’m sure I’m just being paranoid. Our work meeting I mentioned in my last post was canceled. Of course, it had nothing to do with what I said in my post, right? LOL. When I found out the meeting was canceled, I was thinking, “oh crap! She read my post, and she just said fuck it!”. 😉

How silly is that? This is an anonymous blog, and I doubt many people are reading so what are the chances she knows about it? However, if one person at work knows about it, then everyone knows. One of the people at work did find one of my (now defunct) more public blog years ago. I didn’t care because I wasn’t saying anything really private. It did kind of creep me out that someone found it though.

I got my tax refund!! It’s pretty much already gone. But that’s a good thing. Some went to savings which isn’t really considered “gone”. I’m just not touching it. I haven’t touched my savings in a year. FWIW, I don’t have a ton in my savings account.  The rest went to paying off debt. Now that money is really gone.

I also got my first paycheck with my raise. I like. 🙂

What did I do today besides work? I cleansed my crystals in the sun. Yes, I am now into healing crystals. Putting them out in the sun for 4 hours is the easiest way to clean them, in my opinion. I’m very aware that the rest of what I’m about to say sounds nuts to nonbelievers. I’m okay with that.

Anyhow, I have a newish morning ritual. I now light a battery operated wax candle (!!) because I hate fire. I’m scared of fire so no sage or real candles for me. NOPE. Back to my morning routine: I don’t turn on lights when I wake up. I turn on a candle. I sometimes pick a crystal to meditate with. Even if I don’t pick a crystal, I still meditate for 10 minutes. Then I pray for about 3-5 minutes. Then I pick a Tarot card for the day. Sometimes I do A Course In Miracles lesson, but recently I’ve been doing it in the afternoon.

I’m not skilled at reading tarot cards. This is very new to me.  I have a new mini guidebook on tarot cards, and I’m picking up a book from the library on Saturday about the tarot. Eventually, I would like to do readings for myself (and maybe others but that is years away). The funny thing is that I don’t really believe in horoscopes. Well, there was one company with an app that did really accurate readings, but they went under, so I don’t bother with horoscopes anymore.

But I do follow the Zodiac.  (My main sign is Taurus, but I am also a Gemini and Pisces – confusing. I know) I don’t know if this is making any sense. What I mean is that I don’t follow daily horoscopes, but I do believe in having my tarot cards read. I haven’t had them read personally because I don’t want to invest in that right now even though I know a woman who doesn’t charge a lot because she’s new. She gives accurate readings online so I should probably try her before she raises her prices. I digress. It’s late. I’m watching March Madness while I’m typing. Loyola-Chicago just won again! Good for them. Can I keep a thought straight? Lol. I need to get to bed. What does this have to do with my morning routine or tarot? Nothing. Obvs.

I want more crystals. One day I might list the ones I have and what I use them for in this blog. Of course, I have a lot for abundance/prosperity. I just feel like I need more variety.

I’m also trying this new thing of living by the moon which is too much to get into right now. I know that sounds nuts even if the other stuff doesn’t. ROFL. 🙂

I’m going to bed right now, and I will pick up with what I did this week tomorrow. I should edit this entry tomorrow, but I’m not. This is my brain on lack of sleep. I never have a problem with sleep, but the past 2 weeks have been rough. I think I know why, but I’m not 100% sure. I’ll explain in another entry.

This week I…

Music of the week (my top 8 most listened to): Lissie, Brandi Carlile, MaMuse, The Wailin’ Jennys, Ayla Nereo, Elephant Revival, Rising Appalachia, Camila Cabello

TV of the week: March Madness, Life Sentence, Seven Seconds

I’m bummed that UVA is out of March Madness so now I’m rooting for Duke all the way. Yes, I’m a Duke fan. Don’t hate me for it. :/

Movie of the week: none

Podcasts of the week: True Crime Garage, Everything Happens with Kate Bowler, Wrongful Conviction, Mental Illness Happy Hour, Terrible, Thanks for Asking, Light & Love, Generation Why

Books of the week: I didn’t finish any books this week. Now reading –

I’m going to the library on Saturday to pick up two books. One is on the Tarot, and one is about astrology. Sadly, most of the great books on the Tarot are checked out, but I did find one.

Planner update: Plans of the week in my Erin Condren

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Plans for the Weekend: I don’t want to go out on Saturday, but c’mon it’s the library! So far that is all I’m doing besides cleaning my living room.  I haven’t been to the library in a while. I avoid going there during the winter. Speaking of weather, it is supposed to snow Saturday night into Sunday. I have a spin class on Sunday at 10. I hope the snow isn’t too bad. Well, if it’s really bad the place will probably be closed. I also want to pick up my new purse (see pictures in the post below) from my mom’s house on Sunday. So no snow, please. I’ve waited long enough for this purse. Lol.

I haven’t been to the park since Monday afternoon. I think I’m not going back until  Tuesday. It is supposed to be 60 degrees and then I think it will be warm until next winter. I’m looking forward to going back to daily walks in the park with my dog. Bye winter!!!11!!!

Thanks for reading my unedited thoughts! Have a great weekend. 🙂

Let your guard down

Oaxaca, Mexico countdown: 3 days left. 🙂 I heard about the hurricane near Mexico this morning. I’m glad I have travel insurance. I think the hurricane is near Cabo and the pacific coast. Oaxaca is far from there.

I am so nervous about the airplane thing. Have I mentioned that I have never been on an airplane in my life?! I have been on the outside of an airport (Dulles) but never inside one. If it weren’t for my nausea issues, I don’t think it would be as big a deal. I’m not scared of crashing or anything. It is just my stomach I’m worried about. I’m also concerned because I will be surrounded by regular fliers. My first flight is to Charlotte, NC. I could be the only first time flyer on that flight. Let’s be real most people at the airport have been on a plane before. Don’t even get me started on the taking off the shoes thing. I am not wearing different shoes for that! I am backpacking, dammit. I don’t have room for two pairs of shoes. 😉

suitcase

I don’t know about taking that airplane pillow. It takes up so much space. I have a feeling I will be throwing it away or leaving it for someone. If I have to choose between a craft from Oaxaca or that pillow, guess which I will choose. And I hate taking pics with that i-Thing. They come out so bad. What is the point?

Enough freaking myself out. But that is all I can think about. Oh yeah and real life. Have I mentioned that my 5 day trip has basically ruined everything. Maybe that is a little dramatic but that is how it is being presented to me. Ugh. I will try to let it not ruin my trip. Thanks a lot. This trip will be a great way to practice focus on living in the moment because afterwards, my life will be let’s just say “different”. I will not want to leave Oaxaca…ever!

People are so annoying. I think everything is annoying so never mind.

I have not so good news about trying to sell my house. I will blog about it after my trip. It is kind of related to my trip because the house thing could cost me deeply if it doesn’t sell in two months. YES – two months. That sucks. I’m so glad I booked this flight without really thinking…um, yeah.

—————

I won a free spot in Becky Higgins’ Project Real Life class. I am doing some of my assignments partly on this blog. I am not giving away any info that isn’t on the free syllabus, btw. (Over the weekend I did new layouts for Project Life, if I have time I will post them before my trip).

First I must say I love the videos she does for us. I just received access yesterday so I haven’t had time to really dig in.

Week 2 – First Things First

There are things I know I need to do that I’m not doing. That is a long list. For now, I want to focus on exercise and my morning routine. I can’t exercise by dancing anymore due to my living situation. That is a huge bummer because it also relieves stress. I will commit to doing 25-50 sit ups a day. I can do that.

I must change the way I start my workday. It basically goes like this. Wake up. Groan. Turn the computer on. Feed my frogs and fish while waiting for the computer to boot up. Start working. Well sometimes I turn my personal laptop on to check my email if I’m expecting something. Otherwise it is just halfway sleep and straight to the computer. I do this because I know the earlier I start, the earlier I get off.

I don’t want to be still for 30 minutes. That’s “wasting time”! I’d rather have the 30 minutes at the end of my day. But sometimes that extra time is wasted. It depends. I think I want to start with 5 minutes of writing daily. That is my meditation. That is the only way I can be sure I’m focusing on the moment.

Changes

  • do at least 25 situps a day
  • cook more. Last night I baked chicken wings. That is better than the crap I eat most of the time. I also want to gradually eat less processed foods. Also, I am so mad at myself for drinking sodas again!! I had stopped for almost a year but now since I can’t drink coffee everyday (I drink it about 3 times a month), I want caffeine in some way so Mountain Dew wins. argh. Now I’m hooked again.
  • Journal for the first 5 minutes of everyday
  • I know I blog about reading more all the time but I really do have to read more. This week it won’t happen because I have so much to do but when I get back this will be a priority.
  • I have to nap everyday. Have to. I know people judge me for this. I mean I really know a person who judges me for this. LOL. And I don’t give a $#%^. Due to my current living situation I can’t take a 45 minute nap after work like I used to so I’m going to try to nap during my lunch break when I don’t have errands to run. I have done this once or twice and I do get more things done in the afternoon when I do it this way.
  • I have to get back to keeping track of my to-do crap. I have apps for that so there is no excuse not to keep a list.

I have already been working on most of the topics she mentioned for this week. So not a lot of changes. Another part of the class is to document the small things in our Project Life albums but I’m just going to do it on this blog instead.

Pic of the chicken wings I baked:

not my good camera

I don’t know how they look but they were tasty. 😉

So much to do. Must go.

Doesn’t Mean Anything

*groan* (is she ever happy?) I forgot what it is like to be cold in this house. It slows me down so much in the morning. All I can think is, “I’m cold. I’m cold. I’m cold. I’m cold. I’m tired. Oh, crap do I have to iron? I’m cold. I’m cold. Where are my clean socks? (Kitty), leave me alone! Can’t you see I’m trying to get dress? I’m cold. I’m cold. Ugh, now I have to fix coffee, should have set that up last night. I’m so tired. I’m cold. I’m cold. I wish I could watch more of Morning Joe but I have to go.”

And during most of this I’m standing still because I’m cold or overwhelmed.
———–
I wanted to comment on the Rush Limbaugh thing before I didn’t care anymore. First, the NFL is probably the most conservative sport in America. All but one team give most of their money to the republican party during the past year. The owners and coaches for the most part are conservative (some exceptions, I’m sure). My point is what every rational person knows: Limbaugh is too controversial to be part of a NFL team I’m not thinking of his past statements but what he WILL say in the future including more of “I hope Obama fails” and way more polarizing things than that.

Who would want to work for a team, where everyday writers will be asking you about what Rush said? He spouts controversial BS everyday. That is why he is #1. But to have that as a part of daily life? NO ONE wants that. I bet the ppl who turn him down are conservative and some may listen to his show.

I don’t have a problem with Rush trying to buy a part of a team* but the NFL ownership is private. He doesn’t have a right to be given a fair chance. Other rich people have been turned down too. And he knows this. He may have lied said some outlandish things but he isn’t stupid. No one should be crying over Rush not being able to be a minority owner of the Rams. Please. I’m so sorry he is so rich and can have anything he wants…except part of the Rams. He should try the Miami Dolphins. They are all about diversity.

*On the other hand, I’m glad he doesn’t own a part of my favorite team. 😉 I don’t spend $$ on the NFL. I just watch the games and Rush is already rich so what difference does it make?? If you want pure comedy listen to the callers calling in to Rush about the NFL.

OMG111!!!!!!!!! Rush can’t buy into the NFL, what is the world coming to. “I hate what they are doing to you.” Sometimes I feel like Rush is holding back laughter doing these “poor you” calls. Seriously people, get a grip. I’m not the only one laughing.

As far as liberals go. WE have abandoned Jesse Jackson and that jackass Al Sharpton years ago. They don’t speak for rational people. It’s sad that two smart men would shame african americans just to self promote. I strongly dislike both. I wish Obama (it has to be a black/mixed race person) would tell AL how much he is hurting things. Obama and Jesse don’t speak for a reason. In fact he probably wouldn’t um, ‘bother’ himself with Sharpton.

It bugs me when people let Shapton bully them. Who is he? A f*&^ joke. And you are going to bow down to him??? COWARDS. Even though I am disgusted by what Don Imus had to say about the Rutgers women basketball team, I hated that Sharpton had any part in that.

My main problem withe Al Sharpton is that he took money from the REPUBLICAN PARTY to stay in the democratic race. scrum of the freakin earth. Yes, I’m holding back. Want to read about it? Check out MSNBC’s article: Inside Al Sharpton’s campaign. He is dead to me. DEAD.

Since the Reverend Al Sharpton has entered the primary season headlines from New York City papers have been nothing but troubling. Connections to Republican operative Roger Stone and questionable campaign finances have led to investigative reports by the New York Times and the Village Voice. To top off the bad press former Campaign Manager Frank Watkins spoke with the Voice in a “wide-raging interview” published today. In the interview Watkins describes why he left the campaign, the Stone connection, and some questionable actions surrounding current Campaign Manager Charles Halloran and his staff.

…holding back

PS
These Sharpton/Jackson comments don’t reflect my feelings on the NAACP. I hate when people intertwine those two fools with the NAACP.