I really want some comfort

Yay for Ben Jealous winning the Maryland primary for governor! And good for Oscario-Cortez for winning her primary. I hope they win in November. The good news ends there. 😉 I have to blog about Kennedy retiring. I already tweeted what I thought. Okay, maybe it’s not the end of the world. Maybe. I’m mostly concerned about the death penalty and gay rights.  I know most people are concerned with Roe v. Wade. Of course, other things will come up. Oh well. The people voted OR they didn’t vote, and they get what they deserve. Ouch, that’s harsh!

Yeah, most people voted for Hillary, but whatevs. Who cares about the popular vote? Who cares about voting at all? We should make it impossible for people to vote. Wait, are people already trying to do that? Gotta love America. Don’t forget there was no difference between Trump and Hillary.

/end political rant

Ugh. I shouldn’t be bitching about my “friend”. She’s a Facebook “friend”. We don’t know each other AT ALL. Anyway, she is addicted to online tarot readings.  Um, that would be great if she were paying people, but she is getting a bunch of free readings to help with a decision. I told her I would do one for her tomorrow because today has been really busy. I had a therapy appointment and an appointment with my tarot mentor. Plus, I have this thing called work.

Yeah, I feel kind of used (KIND OF??!) because she isn’t just getting free readings from me. She is getting them from a couple of other people too. I would recommend she learn Tarot for herself because it can be so helpful, but her life is hectic right now. It is NOT the time to recommend that. Not that I don’t still get readings from others. I always think someone may be more intuitive than me.

WOW. I just got off Zoom (just like Skype) with my tarot mentor. She is fucking fantastic! She is my role model. Can I be her? The conversation didn’t flow 100% perfectly because I’m me. But she was wonderful. That has to be the best money I have ever spent in my life. Her services are not cheap.

She’s going to email me the 90-minute video recording tomorrow. I can’t wait. If I had taken notes, it would have been pages and pages. I hope she wasn’t offended that I wasn’t taking a ton of notes. I knew she was going to send the recording to me and I am planning on taking notes on everything then.

We got through a lot for our first meeting. Thankfully I wrote down things I wanted to discuss ahead of time. One thing that scares me is that she says I can email her anytime during the 12 weeks. Um, I hate being a bother. I know I’m paying her, but I don’t like emailing people. I have to get over that if I want this to work better.

The only “bad” thing she mentioned is that I should start posting on my business Instagram. UGH. Double UGH. The thing is that I know next to nothing about advertising on Instagram. All I have on my business Instagram is a link to my biz site. LOL. I hope this doesn’t take all weekend. I had my weekend planned out…I guess things have changed. This is probably a good thing. I don’t know why I’m complaining. I just don’t have a lot of time to play around with Insta. I’m not that familiar with it. I just kind of know how to post pics. I’ll figure it out.

But YAY for the mentor meeting going great!!! I almost said her name by mistake. Eventually, her name will be on my biz website. She will be listed as my mentor when we are done. Oh, she also says I write so well. I can laugh, but you can’t. 😉 Wait until she sees my blog on my tarot website. That isn’t written so well. I’m struggling over there.

I’ll have more to say about therapy later. It’s not going great. :/

This week I…

Music of the week (my top 8 most listened to): Demi Lovato, Alanis Morissette, Halsey, Janelle Monae, Florence + The Machine, Christina Aguilera, Kacey Musgraves, The Bird and the Bee

TV of the week:  This is Us, Big Brother

What a tear jerker the second season of This is Us is. I find myself crying whenever someone faces racism on the show…especailly the young kids. Maybe I have some issues there. Big Brother is okay so far. Loved the first show, wasn’t crazy about the second night. I like Sam. Unfortunately, the rest of the house doesn’t love her so she might not last. 😦

Movie of the week: none.

Podcasts of the week: Missing  & Murdered: Finding Cleo, So You Wanna Be a Witch, The Biddy Tarot Podcast, The Lowe Post, Why is This Happening?

Books of the week: I finished reading What the Truth Sounds Like: Robert. F Kennedy, James Baldwin, and Our Unfinished Conversation About Race in America by Michael Eric Dyson. Good book. Started off great with the history lesson. But I thought he talked about Cornel West too much. Maybe that’s my bias because I don’t care about the Dyson/West beef. Let it go.

Now reading (too many books to mention, but I will list a few) –

Plans for the weekend: Working, working, and other shit I don’t really want to do. LOL. On Saturday, I’m working 5 hours of OT, paying bills, cooking for the week, doing my July budget, and I will probably work on learning the tarot through notecards. Oh, I already forgot that I have to do that reading for my Facebook “friend.”  It’ll take less than an hour because she has already taken up a lot of my time. I don’t usually call people vampires (okay, I NEVER do), but she’s draining me. I hope she resolves whatever is going on, so I don’t have to deal with her constantly asking for free readings.

On Sunday, I’m taking my dog to the park first thing in the morning; then I’m taking my dad grocery shopping. I might offer to do 1 or 2 free readings. I feel like the weekends are the only time I have to practice. When I’m off the week of July 30th, I may do a lot of free readings, or I may redo my website. Who knows where things will be then?

Those are my exciting weekend plans. It’s going to be so hot this weekend. I have this small patch of lawn I haven’t mowed yet. It would only take 20 minutes or less, but it’s too damn hot. It doesn’t look like it will cool off. I’m probably going to mow it Monday during my lunch break.

Have a great weekend. Thanks so much for reading! Stay cool. 🙂

My getaway, mentor and website

I’m feeling overwhelmed right now. My website is freaking LIVE. Like I said, I don’t expect anyone to find it for a while. I don’t have the SEO set up right on purpose. Not only that, I chose a mentor. I’m paying her for her services. She is going to mentor me for at least 90 days. I won’t mention her name. Eventually, I will have her name on my website in my About section so it won’t be a big secret. (Assuming it works out well). My sessions won’t start with her until June 29th. She is a very busy lady with a successful business. Uh, that’s why I chose her as my mentor. 🙂

Here is the link to my new website (erased) This won’t stay up long. Please bookmark it, if you would like to see how it progresses. I will probably erase it in 10 days or less on this post and the sticky post. I will probably link to it every 3 months or so. And then erase it again. It isn’t the best site right now because I’m still working on it.

Right now I feel like I have two full-time jobs. NOT A COMPLAINT. Lol. I’m glad to have my day job. Trust me. It’s just that I spend almost every waking moment working on tarot when I’m not a work. And that is how it will probably be for a while.

I’m starting to have minor chest pains because I’m so stressed right now. Stressed about the website and stressed about the mentor thing. Sigh. I didn’t get to take a nap after work because I had a short meeting with my mentor. We will eventually have twelve 90 minute meetings (!!!). Oh, I have to add that work isn’t helping. It’s unusually busy. I have no idea why.

Well, I had a great Getaway. LOL. It was wonderful. I got so much reading done. I might blog more about it later, but for now, since I want to get in bed with a book and relax here are a few photos:

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The above pic is the outside of the cabin. I LOVED IT! I could live there, but the cabins are kind of too close together for me. They claim they don’t want people to feel isolated. WTF? Have these people ever seen rural places? They don’t have neighbors for days! I live in the suburbs, right outside the city and I barely have close neighbors. Anyway, I could live there forever despite the other close cabins.

This is the outside area of the cabin. We didn’t spend much time here because all my dog wanted to do was eat the coal in the fire pit. :/

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This is the view from the bed. Did I say how much I loved this? My dog loved sitting on the ledge and watching nature. So nice.

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Here is the messy bed with the sheets I bought from home:

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The above pic is basically the whole cabin. Minus the small kitchen and the bathroom. My dog loved the bed. I loved the bed too. We don’t have this ish at home, so it was really, really, nice to be able to spread out and sleep. We spent a lot of time in bed together. I hope that doesn’t sound creepy. 😉

I have more to say about the Getaway. I might blog about it later if nothing major comes up. Right now I’m exhausted and feeling stressed out. So I’m going to go. I know people are worried about kids at the border and I’m going on and on about being stressed about my freaking website. That’s life. Bye!

realize

How can I mentor someone else when I need mentoring? Is that a cop-out or reality? 😉 Okay, so I haven’t made it enough to mentor. HOWEVER, couldn’t I teach 5th graders math? I would prefer science but I don’t know what the options are. Oh, LOL. I’m forgetting about social anxiety. Okay back to my life.

Ignoring social anxiety and depression, committing to 2 hours a week of volunteer teaching is a lot. I’d also be in school, taking a very hard course. I know teaching takes prep. Sigh! I can’t ignore the depression!!! What if I fall into a funk? I’m pretty sure I would focus on the students more than on my school work. At least I would try.

Some people’s social anxiety disappears with older or younger people. I don’t think my SA disappears at all. But it is less around older people. Kids remind me of my school experience. As soon as I see them I worry. In a class of three, it could be different. I might be different. I might think, “This is my JOB”. I know I wouldn’t want to teach a class of 30. Just the thought of that makes me anxious.

I don’t know whether I’m going to pursue this. I don’t know everything they require. I will probably find out in a few days though. Just because I show interest, doesn’t mean I’ll get the opportunity to do it. The other volunteer opportunity revolved around dogs. It fell through. I visited the place and I knew the environment wasn’t for me. It was on a farm. I felt like a stranger on strange land and I was only there for 5-10 minutes. I got bad vibes. I managed to leave without talking to anyone.

I think I’m pretty realistic…versus ambitious. rofl. So I won’t get involved in something I know I will suck at. The problem is knowing what things entail. I do get in over my head sometimes.

Another example of this would be trying Bikram yoga. It is expensive but I keep thinking, “if Groupon or Living Social offers a coupon, I might bite”. I read about others experiences. They raved about it. I thought, “These people are different. They have discipline and are gluttons for punishment”. I’m half joking about the punishment thing but really who would want to do that I used to wonder??? I finally found a person who walked out of class more than once and almost fainted. This is the side I need to know about.

The authentic form of Bikram yoga originated with yogi Bikram Choudhury in 1974. Choudhury developed a series of 26 asanas to be performed in a particular sequence in a heated room of 80-105 degrees Fahrenheit. The classes are usually 90-minutes long and include specialized breathing exercises as well.

source – link above
I must confess that I’m curious. Half of me thinks it is just nuts to do this to myself. 😉 I am checking the coupon sites. I don’t know….I live on the humid east coast. I know what hot is. Today is over 100 by the way. I sort of wish I only knew the good parts of it but I like to know both sides. I’m half hoping that there isn’t a coupon so I don’t have to make a decision. Having to pay for my course next weeks helps me not want to do it.

Tomorrow is my last day of yoga at this particular studio. I’m taking my second Iyengar yoga class. I like iyengar yoga because it feels like a workout and isn’t all about breathing. I don’t know when yogalates starts at the other gym. It is the only yoga they offer. And it is affordable. I can’t find cheaper classes plus I get a discount. I’m working on the doctor note thing.