Took my own advice

I sent a ton of documents to the state because they said I might have unclaimed property. 8 weeks later I got a check for 62.87 in the mail. Woohoo!!!111! I didn’t think I was going to get anything back. I have no idea where this money is from. They didn’t tell me. I’ll take it. 🙂

I’m back on Abilify daily. I can’t stand the nausea. However, when I go to the doctor in March, I’m going to ask for a 2mg prescription and cut the pill in half so I will only be taking 1mg a day. Right now and since I’ve been on it, I’ve been taking 2.5 mg a day. (I split the 5mg in half). Hopefully, the lower dose will take care of the withdrawal and any depression.

I still might ask my doctor about TMS. But TMS won’t take care of Abilify withdrawal. Hmmm. TMS must be nice. No medicine, but I don’t mind taking an anti-depressant. I’m not anti-med like the cool kids. I just want to stop taking Abilify, but my body doesn’t want me to. Whatevs.

I was the worst at spin class again. :/ And I can’t put those damn cycling shoes on the bike without help. Ugh! I only burned 255 calories this time, and I was trying really hard. I have one class left on my Groupon. I know I’m not going the next two weekends, but I might go for my last ride after that.

I don’t know what I’m doing this weekend. It depends on work. Another department is really behind, and they want a few of us to help them. I volunteered to help, so that might happen this Saturday. Don’t ask me why I volunteered. Long story.

Update: Apparently I’m working 5 hours for the other department this Saturday. Well, at least I get paid overtime pay, so I guess I shouldn’t complain too much. I just hope they train us well because there were issues with that once before. That’s all I’m saying about that.

Oh, God. We are going to have a meeting with just the 5 of us in training and our manager to see how training is going. That means I have to talk. &*%$ I will have a few remarks prepared. But I don’t really know how training is going. I rarely or I probably should say NEVER talk during meetings. I recently had to say something during an instant message meeting at work, and I freaked out about that. Now I have to use my voice?

This is one of the reasons why I didn’t want to be in the first group to go through training. Now we might be expected to talk about it and help or teach the others. I have trained people in person before at this job but not a ton. I was very comfortable with what I had to train people on YEARS ago. I had been working with that system for 2+ years before I trained someone. This is totally different. I don’t know this crap. At least it won’t be in person. Helping people through a computer is a little easier…unless I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing. 😉

I’ve only been in training for 6 days. All I can say is this is very different from what I do now.  My thoughts on it are all muddled. Some things are very confusing. Tomorrow is the big test on all that we’ve learned in part one. I’m a little worried about it because it’s timed. I have to pass! No pressure.

Well, I’ve gotta go. As of right now, I have no overtime scheduled for Thursday and Friday. I would like to keep it that way. That being said, I would like to have more overtime opportunities in the future because I need the money. But right now, I just need a break.

Winter: You run me down restless and wild

OMG. AWKWARD.

I had my telephone meeting with my manager. LOL. It didn’t go well….according to HER.

I hope our conversation is better next time.

WTF? $%#$ OuchOuchOuch! I did try to come up with something to say but I didn’t have any questions. It was a disaster. Shocking! I don’t have any social skills. I’m laughing about it now but oh dear!

I did type some things to say. I didn’t want it to be awkward. I tried to plan. Only one of my sayings worked. Oh god. Talking and I don’t get along. Ugh, I can’t email either. It is a communication thang.

I do have one question for next time but it isn’t really work related so I froze up when it came across my mind while we were “talking”. But next time I will just ask it. Who knew she wanted questions? I thought she was going to tell me things. (Duh?)

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The last time I weighed myself was in October. I weighed 135. I wasn’t pleased with that. Now I know I weigh at least 140. SOBS. I get weighed against my will tomorrow. I so don’t wanna know. I always gain weight in the winter (not this much!). I hibernate when it is cold. I don’t leave my house if I don’t have to.

I’m going to try not to freak out tomorrow when I see the number. I already have my exercise plan for when it is warm*. I’m going to walk around the neighborhood. I hope I don’t see people. I just find the treadmill so boring. I can only do a mile before I want to pluck my eyes out but I love nature. I just have to get over my fear of running into people. I will continue with weight lifting.

(*Warm enough is 55 degrees at 7AM.)

I have been doing sit-ups and a little yoga at home this winter.  Btw, it doesn’t help that my house is cold. The last thing I want to do is take off all my layers to do yoga. I haven’t been going to the gym regularly. It isn’t really about the number but I know I’m not healthy at 140+ lbs.  I would love to be 130 pounds, exercising regularly, and eating all right (ha!). That would be healthy.

IT WILL HAPPEN. 🙂 I have to do a lifestyle change.