Been looking behind, bridge burned

It’s so fucking hot! I’m in the attic, and I have no AC. It’s about 120 degrees in here. It’s only 99 degrees outside. FUCK. That’s all I got. The main problem is when I get heat exhaustion, and I have to work, but my brain isn’t there, so I can’t work. I HATE THAT.

What else? Oh, I went back to the doctor. She has no answers as to why I’m so tired. She didn’t even mention chronic fatigue syndrome, which is a thing. Anyway, she referred me to a sleep specialist. I might go one day next week. I already contacted them and told them I wanted an appointment.

Guess what? She thinks it might be sleep apnea! Even though I weigh 135 pounds and am otherwise healthy. Yes, it is possible, but I think that’s a stretch. I don’t know whether I snore. Anyways, if I can take the test at home, I’ll do it. I’d rather not stay overnight at the sleep center and leave my dog alone. But if I do the test at the center, I would have AC. 😉

Not much going on. I have work stress and heat stress.

I was off on Thursday and Friday. I took my dog to a mostly empty park:

Politics/Current Events 2020: I don’t have much to say here either. I’m saddened by John Lewis’ death. He was just walking around in DC around June 10th. What else? The United States is a capitalistic shit of a country. That was known before COVID, but now it is so apparent.

This week I…

Music of the week: Ellie Goulding, Mariah Carey, Coldplay, Stacie Orrico, The Chicks, Rachel Platten, Robyn, Beyonce

TV of the week:  Unsolved Mysteries

Podcasts of the week:  Truth & Justice, Dateline, Someone Knows Something, So You Wanna Be a Witch, Serve Scale Soar, Abraham Hicks, Sword & Scale

Books of the week: Untamed by Glennon Doyle

Weekend Plans: Today is Sunday. All I’ve done is work. I have at least one more thing to do for a client today. So I’m going to do that before my brain turns to mush tonight.

Have a lovely week! Thanks for reading.

Hate me

Biden is so full of shit. Happy Friday! 🙂

So I don’t know whether my dad has cancer. He doesn’t know. Some clueless people think that if you go to the ER and they don’t mention cancer, you don’t have cancer. Um, some people are blissfully ignorant, and that’s okay. That’s a choice…most of the time. I’m not making fun of people with low IQs.

Anyhow, the ER said it is basically a mix of diabetes and arthritis. He still can barely walk. I hope it is just arthritis. I just want him to feel better. He HATES being stuck in the house. I can stay home for 3 weeks straight in the winter and be fine. He wouldn’t be okay even though he hates the cold just as much as I do.  During the summer, I feel like I have to embrace the warm weather, so I don’t like staying in for more than a few days straight.

Speaking of the weather…I am so screwed. It is 91 degrees in my room right now and cooler outside. Tomorrow it will be 97 degrees outside so it will be over 100 in my bedroom and on Tuesday it will be 99 degrees outside. Just fucking shoot me. I have to work in my bedroom. I would never work downstairs for legitimate reasons, and I can’t work at the mall or library like I used to occasionally do because that is no longer allowed. We have to work at our home address.  I will be working and sweating. 😦

It’s been so hot on some days, I’ve had a hard time concentrating. I hope that doesn’t happen next week. Speaking of work, I have worked more hours this week than I EVER have at this job. And they begged me to work more. WTF? I need the money, but the longer I work, the more exhausted I get. Then my work quality sucks, so what’s the point? I can’t work 60 hours a week like some people. That’s why some jobs (most salaried jobs) are a no-no for me.

I could easily work 60 hours a week for myself because I would have a more flexible schedule. I could work in spurts. I just can’ work 6AM to 6PM like some people at my job. My brain can’t take it.

Election 2020. Not much happened this week. 😉 Good for Kamala. I’m still not voting for her in the primary. I can see through her lies. She’s no Trump. But she has to lie about her past. Only people who follow politics know she is a liar.  A politician who lies? GASP. Oh, and the people of California know she is lying. She’s ruthless, but not a horrible person, IMO. I would rather she be president than Biden.

Biden and Sanders are so out of touch. Sanders is like Mayor Pete when compared to Biden. It’s like Biden just doesn’t get it. He was horrible during the debate, which didn’t shock me. Well, I didn’t expect him to be that bad.

Marianne Williamson started off well in the first hour, but she faltered horribly during the second hour. I think she would have done better if people on stage had engaged with her. She was ripping them up, and of course, no one responded. I wish she had more experience, but unlike Trump, she would surround herself with better people. So I still would vote for her on Super Tuesday. It depends.

My Top Three (in order)

  1. Elizabeth Warren
  2. Marianne Williamson
  3. Julian Castro

If Marianne Williamson is really anti-vaccine (she’s not), I would cross her off my list. She’s simply anti-pharmaceutical companies. I have followed this woman for years and not once has she said anything about being anti-vaccine. She’s nuts enough, to be honest about everything, so why would she lie now? Nuts in a good way. I’m not saying she’s insane. She’s almost too honest. That’s one reason why she can’t win an election.

If all of those people are out before Super Tuesday than I’ll probably stay home. I vote in 90% of elections, but I don’t enjoy voting. I’m fine with not voting. Well, it kind of bothers me, but if the candidates suck, they suck. I might add Cory Booker as #4. I doubt I would go out of my way to vote for him, though. I want to like Mayor Pete, and I do, but he’s too conservative for me on some issues. I love his husband and two dogs…but not enough to vote for him.

Oh yeah, if it’s close between two people I don’t want to vote for, I will probably vote. Let’s say polls say it’s between Biden and Kamala. I will get my ass to the voting booth and vote for Kamala. I hope it doesn’t come down to that.

I would have much more to say, but I said everything on Instagram and Twitter during the debates. 🙂

One correction: Last week, I said the black man (Eric Logan??) killed in South Bend, Indiana, had a knife. Um, the police officer didn’t have his body camera on. So that could be a lie. I thought that was a fact. Nope.

This week I…

Music of the week: Mary J. Blige, Jussie Smollett, Rachael Sage, Jessie Ware, Beyonce, Selena, Ariana Grande, Taylor Swift

I’m more convinced that Jussie is guilty of planning the attack. 97% sure. I wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt. That sucks. I usually only cut off rapists/sexual abusers, domestic abusers,  and murderers though. :/ Yep, I guess I’m giving him a pass because I like him. I don’t expect others to forgive him, but I do feel some of it is overkill.

TV of the week: The Handmaid’s Tale, RHOBH

Podcasts of the week: True Crime Garage, So You Wanna Be a Witch, Pod Save America, Fresh Air, Super Soul Sunday, The Astrology Podcast, Man In the Window, Living Open, Generation Why

Books of the week: Now reading (no links this week – sorry)

1. Parkland by Dave Cullen (His book on Columbine was well written and researched)

2. The Last Stone by Mark Bowden (true crime)

3. Cosmos and Psyche: Intimations of a New World View by Richard Tarnas (philosophy and astrology)

4. Astrology and the Authentic Self: Traditional Astrology for the Modern Mind by Demetria George (highly recommend all her books)

Weekend Plans: Work, Work, Work. I also have a ton of astrology homework to do. I have to write horoscopes for another website (for free). I probably won’t get a chance to work on the online course I want to create. I’m working on my ideal customer. I’m having the hardest time with age. I’m young at heart. Most of my “followers” are 10 years younger than me. Ugh. I don’t care about age. My ideal customer has free time, is sort of middle class (hard to give a salary when the cost of living is different), childfree, single, goes on vacation once a year, love going to concerts, loves to read, meditates, etc. etc. I know everything, but age. A lot of people in my astrology class seem 50+. Yes, there are some younger people. But I was surprised at how many older people are in the class.

Okay, that’s enough. It’s 10:30 on a Friday night. I’m going to bed somewhat early tonight because I stayed up so late while for two nights in a row to watch those debates.

Thanks for reading! Have a great weekend. 🙂

walked a mile in my shoes

Sometimes I wish Virginia wasn’t in the news for silly political stuff. Of course it is all over MSNBC and Fox (I assume CNN also). Then  Jon Stewart did a whole segment on it. He went to college in VA. I really believe that is the only reason he sometimes goes on these VA rants. Not that the Commonwealth doesn’t deserve the negativity. Hey, at least the governor signed the green energy bill. That is the only good thing I can say for now.

I turn the TV now…I think it has something to do with me not watching local news so when I see it nationally, I scream (sometimes out loud) “PLEASE STOP!” Sorry someone is doing a “VA is for Haters” piece on MSNBC. *groan*. I already turned the channel. Yes I laugh @ the “VA is for Lovers” thing all the time because it is dumb and it gives anti-gay people an opportunity to put stupid bumper stickers on their cars. But I do love the logo.

dumb and stupid. how scholarly of me.


I walked a mile today. Outside. Today is “walk day” or  something so I did that. It was almost 90 degrees but I didn’t really feel it until the end. I was planning on doing it since last week but I was so glad it was today. I sooo needed to get out of the office right at that moment. Sigh. Perfect timing.

CX invited me to a dance class. (not really only dance but I can’t say the name due to search engines). I had to say no because I still don’t have clearance from a doctor to take any classes. Who knew that anxiety and sleeping problems would cause me to have to get a doctor’s note. And I don’t have a doctor so….To flip the convo, I told her I was taking yoga soon. But I still need a doctor’s note so…My counselor thinks it is absurd that a person with anxiety NEEDS a dr’s note. If anyone needs yoga, it would be a person with anxiety.

I hope she doesn’t mention it soon because I’m not going to volunteer that I need a dr’s permission. It is rare for a young and seemingly healthy person to need a dr’s clearance. I’m a bad liar. I don’t even try to lie, I suck so bad at it. That is probably one reason I don’t have friends. *Unwilling to lie* lol.

I need to figure out this yoga crap soon. I was thinking about just getting a DVD. I could tell CX that. That isn’t a lie….


It is currently 89 degrees in my house. I lived through one summer here w/no AC at all but now I’m having fits. 🙂 I get up to start things and just get delirious. I can’t do anything. *whine* Seriously I do have AC. Got a window unit. It only works with a remote!!! ROFL. Who makes anything like that? I think they should be required by law to put that on the box because I would NEVER EVER buy anything that needed a remote.

I blame my cat. I had the remote in the window sill throughout the winter. Occasionally my cat would play on or near the sill…..But shouldn’t it have fallen straight down?? I’ve looked everywhere. My cat does take things and runaway but she can’t carry a remote!

Anyway, I ordered a new one today and I can’t get it soon enough. I have my doubts about getting it because the man didn’t spell my name or city right. And I only gave him the street address once so here’s hoping that I actually get it soon.


89 degrees, deliriously yours