Break Down These Walls

I saw Lincoln on Thanksgiving day at 9:50AM. It was really good but also really long. But looking back I don’t think much should have been cut…okay maybe one of Lincoln’s stories could have been cut. The film was a love letter to Lincoln. I’m not saying there is anything wrong with that. It brought Lincoln to life. Awesome. 🙂 I even teared up at one point while Amendment 13 was being discussed. I thought about going to see Breaking Dawn II right after but  two movies in a row? Nah. I will wait until the crowds die down before I go see BD.

I escaped family visits, not that a lot of people came over. I ate dinner (no turkey) alone in my room while watching Gossip Girl or football. I can’t remember which but I know it was one or the other. One holiday down, ugh another one to go. Save me. Yes I hate this time of year. Hate it. Shocking, I know. I can’t wait until January 2.

I have 6 days for my house to sell. Sigh. 6 days for a miracle. I still haven’t signed a lease for the townhouse. I don’t know what that is about. The manager said I could go there around December 10 to see my actual place. Maybe I will find out how much rent is then….and do I really have a washer and dryer? REALLY? I didn’t have one at my house but I did have one in the apartment I lived in prior to that. So I am used to living without one. It doesn’t matter but it would be nice. She got my hopes up when she told me that I had one. I just don’t believe her. :/

There is one thing about moving that I’m really excited about (besides like, totally living alone) – a new library system. I’m moving to a suburb I have never lived in and I’ve lived everywhere around here. It is about 20 minutes from where I live now. Anyway, I’m excited to get a library card because they have the best ebooks! My current library is lame compared to what they have. I’m already trying to figure out when I will be able to apply for a library card. I will probably only go inside once, just to apply and then borrow ebooks from home from then on out.

I have so much to do. wahhh. overwhelmed. I need to do a major To-Do list. The hard part is figuring out when what has to be done. And on Monday I see my counselour for the first time since September! So much has happened since then. Three deaths in the family, a lil’ trip to Mexico and oh, I’m getting rid of my house and moving in 21 days. Just little things.

happy offensive xmas 2 you

Reporting what happened at work is spreading negativity. That is not a good thing, as Martha Stewart would say. My biggest issue is, how do I ‘let go’ or ‘forgive’ when they continue to do things? It is not everyone. And some of them just laugh at stuff. Whatever. Today I was just in total disbelief that Deborah was acting the way she was on CHRISTmas (to her that is) Eve. Geez, can you ever just not do things out of spite?

I do not think I’m better than anyone. I think I’m no better than a homeless person. I may have just gotten lucky. Yes that is what separates me from anyone…LUCK of the draw or karma of past lives (if you believe in that which I’m not sure I do…lol). I could have been Donald Trump’s daughter or Obama’s. I could have been born to a mother in jail. I could have grown up in the foster child system (g-d bless them all). Etc.

With that being said…They got offended today by something I said when I was talking on the phone to my mom. It was (is) Christmas Eve. Half of the staff had gone home. I just wanted to get through the hour before my lunch break quickly plus I had to tell her I would be late. Anyways I called her. To make a long story short I said (paraphrasing) “When can I go to the grocery store? It’s going to be crowded. I need to go. Tomorrow is a holiday. Saturday (Dec 26) is when they are taking stuff back…” Then I just said “I’ll go next week”.

Well Holy FUCK. They got offended. LOL. My biggest issue is the story will get worst when they tell the other half of the coworkers who weren’t there. That is what happened last time. GOSSIP. See, that is why I don’t believe it. The story gets exaggerated. They may not do it on purpose but….who will hurt from it? ME. If the past predicts the future, Monday will be a bad day for me. 😦

No, I don’t like crowds. And going to a store when I know it is going to be crowded to me is just like walking around with a sign saying “I don’t value my time and I like discomfort”. It would be stupid FOR ME to go to a store when I know a crowd will be there. Just pure dumb. It adds 30 minutes on a grocery shopping trip. It would add more time if I had a shopping cart. (Hate those). Sorry I don’t enjoy shopping…unless it is a thrift or book store, I’m not going to spend time there. HELLO?

If these people read an Asperger’s message board like I do once a month, they would be so offended. Every time I go there, someone is mentioning how they have to avoid the crowds. Go to any message board and you will find one person there. It is just more prevalent on autism and social anxiety boards. This time of the year is the worst. Last time I checked the forum (around Dec 1) someone was saying how they were planning to avoid stores for the WHOLE MONTH OF DECEMBER.

Seriously who gets offended by that? Their BFF, Deborah hates Mexicans. She hates them and she doesn’t care what you think. Her words. So that is fine? But me not being a people person is NOT okay? The hypocrisy. LOL.

I’m so befuddled right now. I shouldn’t be blogging. These are the same people that wonder why I ‘don’t like people’. Um, maybe it is because they JUDGE me. And judge me incorrectly. Why are you listening to my phone call? And judging it?


Never go there with me. NEVER.

I also said, “I didn’t get Tracey* anything. She is so picky so…”.

How does that sound? Bad right especially IF YOU ARE JUDGING MY PHONE CONVO. 😉 But I was talking about my cat. lol. They have no idea. It didn’t occur to me until after wards how that probably sounded. For the record, I did brave a crowd and find my cat a gift. I gave it to her today and so far she is not impressed. She’ll warm up to it.

*Tracey is not her real name. I choose not to give out the name of innocent animals.

These people. OMG. Once I heard their judgmental sigh, I knew it was onnnnnnnnnnnnn. And I went to lunch to let them talk. And once I got back, I knew they talked. They let me know with their snide comments. “You can go to the grocery store on (this day), I won’t be there”. Mary, you asshole. No offense. This has nothing to do with you. If you were in the store with me and that’s it, that would be cool unless you tried to run me over with your shopping cart.

If anyone can tell me how me how not wanting to be in a crowded store is personally offensive to you, I would appreciate it. Thanks.

To piss off the ultra religious conservatives, HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!!!!!111111!!!!!!!!!1111!


Those two last lines were meant for Deborah.

Why do I waste my time on these people. As Bridget Jones would say, “Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!”