I can hardly breathe

I had to buy a $149 air purifier. Guess who doesn’t have $149? But I had to. This was a NEED, not a want. I just wish the reviews would have said how much cold air it blows out. It is like a fan or a baby AC. Lots of people complained about the loud noise which of course doesn’t bother me. But it is very cold in my house when it’s cold outside because I have no insulation. The last thing I need is an air cleaner or anything blowing out cool air.

But other than that, I think I like it. I was planning on returning it (something I never do) if it didn’t work because $149 is just too much money. I haven’t had to take my allergy medicine since I’ve gotten it. Yeah, I’m moving in 6 weeks or less, but I still had to something. My allergies were SO bad. I have never experienced anything like this. ugh. Oh, and the allergy medicine stopped working. It worked until about a week ago. I did get some relief from peppermint essential oil. But I didn’t want to run my effuser 24/7.

It is so cold, but no allergies! yay!

Allergies? Check. Very high blood pressure? Maybe. On Tuesday my blood pressure was 142 over 100 which is INSANE. I should’ve gone to the doctor immediately. However, I went about a month ago and it was something like 130 over 80. I have my own blood pressure monitor, but I can’t find it. I saw it about 6 weeks ago, so I will probably be able to find it tomorrow while I’m packing. Anyway, I was more nervous at the screening than when I normally go to the doctor so I think that had something to do with it. She only waited 2 minutes before she took my BP again. It went down a little, but not much. I probably needed at least 5 minutes of just being by myself to calm down.

UPDATE: corrected BP numbers. My BP on Tuesday was 142/100. (!!!!). I found my BP monitor today and it was 147/84. FWIW.

So I don’t know. I hope my BP isn’t really that high. That’s horrible!! I don’t understand how it could jump that much in a month, but I guess it is possible. I don’t know how reliable my BP monitor is. It wasn’t expensive, so I’m guessing it isn’t the best. So I will probably monitor my own BP for a week or two and then go to the doctor if it is still that high. I know birth control pills can raise BP. I’ve been on these pills for about 6-8 months. Hmm. I dunno. Both of my parents have high BP so my genes are not good when it comes to this.

It could be stress causing it. I’m so stressed out. Work is killing me. I don’t want to talk about that though.

My cholesterol was great. I don’t have diabetes. My weight is okay. I’m not overweight yet…I do have a plan to lose weight. I’m doing my goals for the last part of the year this weekend. Losing weight is one of the goals. The other 3 will probably be day job and tarot related.

More medical stuff because this is so thrilling! 😉 I got my first flu shot this past Tuesday. I’m still here so I might get one again. If I get the flu this year, I swear I’m never getting another flu shot again. I’m glad I did end up getting the shot because since my BP was so high, I didn’t get that discount. I did get the $100 discount on my health insurance premium for the flu shot. So I ended up getting $500 off my health insurance. I got a discount for my weight, the flu shot, and not smoking. I would have gotten a $700 discount if my BP were okay. Oh well.

I hired an assistant to help with my tarot biz. I really need help during quarter four. Here he is the first day on the job:


This week I…

Music of the week (my top 8 most listened to): Maggie Rose, Jess Glynne, Taylor Swift, Matt Nathanson, Lauren Daigle, Ariana Grande, Camila Cabello, James Bay

Maggie Rose is a gift from the gods and the new Jess Glynne album is everything.

TV of the week:  Nashville

Movie of the week: None

Podcasts of the week: All In With Chris Hayes, So You Wanna Be a Witch, Dr. Death, Serial, The Lowe Post, The Lively Show, True Crime Garage

I had been resisting Dr. Death because everyone else was listening to it. LOL No, really it was because I’ve read so many stories and about doctors killing patients. I thought, why should I listen to this? But it is good and definitely worth a listen. I’m listening to it as I type this.

Books of the week: 

Currently reading –

Plans for the weekend: PACKING!! This should be interesting. I’m doing the bedroom and my mom is doing half of the living room tomorrow. I really want to get so much packed. Half of me wants to move so bad (the half with allergies) and the other half of me will really miss living here. It’s quiet, in walking distance to a great park etc.

I’ve finally been working on my astrology course this week. I really want to get good at astrology because I want to offer more astrology services along with tarot. One day, I might do only astrology. I LOVE astrology. It is so fascinating. Not that tarot isn’t. It’s just that there’s so much science behind astrology. In fact, I’m going to stop blogging soon and work more on my course tonight. I know how to party on a Friday night.

Have a marvelous weekend! Thanks for reading. 🙂


Don’t change a thing

I went to an urgent care center on Friday. Thank Budda for them! I would’ve gone to the ER otherwise. I rarely go to the doctor. I don’t believe in going to the doctor for a cold. (It might be different for kids). A cold is a cold. It will pass in time. There isn’t a cure for it.

Anyway, I’ve had a stuffy nose for over a month. Sometimes I can’t breathe. I’ve been taking Afrin for 3 weeks because that was the only thing that worked. That was part of the problem. I used too much Afrin according to the doctor. My nose (nasal passage) is now messed up. 😦

I didn’t know taking too much nasal spray was a thing. It is. Most people seem to take it WAY more than 3 weeks for it to cause a problem, though. Maybe my nose isn’t too messed up? Hopefully.

He gave me medicine. I am also taking Sudafed. I just hope I’m cured before I run out of the medicine the doctor gave me. I don’t think the Sudafed by itself is going to work, but I’ll try it. I don’t want to have to go back to the urgent care center.

After I got back from the center, I thought I was going to have to go to the ER. I took the prescribed  medicine and I still  couldn’t breathe. I’d already been to the urgent care center. Where else could I go? But I decided to try the saline mist spray (It’s drug-free so it’s safe) one more time and it worked! I was shocked because it didn’t work before.

Now I feel better. I’m still congested, but I can breathe.  I went to the free gym this morning. I desperately needed a workout.  No one was in the gym. I had the whole big gym to myself! It was just me and Ellie Goulding 🙂  I did weight lifting. I walked a mile on the treadmill and did one mile on the bike. I probably would’ve done more if I felt better.

Oh! I’m also pre-hypertensive. Boo. The doctor gave me a list of things to do/not do. I  already do everything on that list except one thing…exercise for 30 minutes a day. haha. When I used to work in the office, I would climb the stairs during breaks for exercise. Now I’m definitely more sedentary. I don’t want to have high blood pressure. My mom has it so I think it could be genetic. I’m not eating too much salt or doing any of the bad stuff.

Yeah, I could exercise more. I was planning to cancel my paid gym membership next week. I just hate the crowds. I can still use the free gym. I’m beginning to wish I had my own treadmill. Something to think about…

My 2 cheat days are over. I am never doing that again. It was too much. I probably gained a couple of pounds. Since I love sweets so much, I think I’m just going to have dessert on future cheat days. I don’t know. I still have to go to McDonalds one of these days. Now I’m back on the grind. Eating between 1200 and 1500 calories a day.

Despite having to go to the doctor and working almost during the whole holiday, I had a great “break”. There was less pressure. Less stress. Let’s see how Monday goes. lol.


I’d never cared much how I looked, why should I start now? Besides, I had no energy to waste on my exterior, when so much of my focus was on the barely managed chaos inside my head.

Quote from Elyn Saks. That is how I’ve felt most of my life. Now I still won’t wear makeup, but I’m not so caught up in the chaos. It’s not as intense. I remember seeing myself one day. It was about 7 years ago. I looked like crap. So tired and just not there. I was so focused on getting through the day that I never even looked at myself in the mirror. (Yes, I wash my face, brush my teeth  etc. without looking at myself).


Instead of updating my last entry, I’m just going to insert my planner layout for the week here:

plans of the week

I sucked at keeping up with plans this week. I mostly worked so nothing else got done. I have to be better next week.

I’m a thin bitch

You would cry too if you had SA too. Ungrateful bastards. Laugh all you want. “I wouldn’t let that upset me”. Um, do you have SA? No? So STFU. Next. (I’m coming back to this topic, don’t worry).

My BMI is 16 which is severely underweight. But hello people? I’m 30….not 30.5 like that paper said. I turn 30.5 in January. Geez. Anyhow, I’m getting older. My metabolism is slowing down like it normally does when you get older. Also, my weight fluctuates. I’m not drinking Ensure because I know how to gain weight. I just don’t want to. She said I was the only person she told to GAIN weight. It’s not like I weigh 90lbs. I don’t have an eating disorder. I’m naturally thin. However…

Maybe I’m caught up in American culture. Thin is ALL I have. From my teenage years throughout my twenties, I’ve had a decent body but NO ONE ever saw it. Not even me. I didn’t give a crap what I wore. Growing up we didn’t have much money for clothes and all I had were big baggy clothes. In college, I didn’t have enough money for the 3 meals a day meal plan so needless to say I didn’t eat or buy clothes. Then I become a thrift shop expert.

I have worn clothes too big for years. I still wear some of those clothes. To make a long story short, I’ve just started wearing clothes that fit me. I wear skinny jeans. I wear short skirts/dresses. I still look like I’m in my twenties so why not? I’m definitely not doing it for anyone else. (women or men). I’m not saying I look good. My point is: I’ve finally stopped hiding my body at the age of 30! I’m a late bloomer. Let me be.

And yes it is extremely superficial to say “thin is all I have” but have you read my blog? Can you get why I feel this way? I’m horrible in every other way…according to American culture. I have an ugly face if that makes this sound better.

In June my blood pressure was great. 120 over something. Now it is 130!!! That is pre-hypertension. Dude, that isn’t cool. My job is killing me. At first it was 140 over something. I kid you not. Then the nurse told me to relax for 1 minute and it went down to 130. I can’t tell you how much this call center thing has stressed me out. Plus I’m always anxious which may lead to high blood pressure eventually anyway. I think these past two weeks have set off my ulcers. Okay, I don’t know if I really have ulcers because I would have to go to a doctor for that. But my stomach has felt funky for the past few weeks. It wasn’t an upset stomach.

This is the weird part: When they were taking my blood for the glucose part (or whatev), the other nurses were so concerned.

“Are you okay?”

“Do you want any water?”

“Are you sure?”

“What kind of job do you do” (LOL)

I said “fine” “NO” “yes” (insert job title).

I don’t know what they saw. Crying all day for two days straight may make me look a little stressed. IMO, I was just feeling regular anxiety. I was around strangers! Um, yes that is enough to set me off. I really don’t know what was up with that. I was caught totally off guard with that line of questioning. I wanted to laugh or at least chuckle but I was too nervous. It was weird that ALL of them thought I was going to faint or drop dead.

(Btw, this was all free and I did it just to do it).

I’ll talk about the call center in my next entry. As of now, I’m not on the phone next week so I’m thrilled!!!!!! I will be on the phones the week after, and the week after that etc

I also have to apologize to Ax. I was quick to judge her. I only posted my thoughts here and deleted it the next day. I didn’t tell anyone so I’m going to apologize here but that is a long story and I have to go.

I’m so tired. I think I’m going to dream about what I want to do for New Year’s. I may even surf for hotel deals. I always stay at a hotel for New Year’s because where I live the illegal fireworks are out of control. It is day and night. I don’t want to be more miserable. I have to sleep. I doubt I go out of state. I never have in the past. I’m working crazy OT over the thanksgiving holiday. But 80% of that is going straight to tuition. Maybe if I work OT during December I might buy a working TV. Woohoo!