Talkers gonna talk

OKAY. NO FUCKING JOKE. I have always hated using the word “haters” (especially after T. Swift made the word so common) but OMG. I have HATERS after me. And there’s nothing I can do about it. I did nothing wrong. I just got lucky and they can’t stand it. They don’t think I deserve it. And what they say goes right? Who says they are the king of anything? Who says they are right? What a bunch of egos. They are trying to get rid of me. This sucks. It really does. 😦

I wouldn’t try to mess with someone’s livelihood so I really don’t understand it.


aw, what a cutie!
aw, what a cutie!

Anyways….I’m excited because I just got stuff from my first “successful” estate sale. I have enough stuff to sell right now. But of course I am still looking for things. So far I have:

  • purses (brand new and used)
  • jewelry (brand new and used)
  • dolls
  • stuffed animals
  • office supplies
  • books
  • shoes
  • curtains (new in package)
  • decorations
  • baskets

I just want variety and I think I kind of have it but I could do better.

I brought 3 porcelain dolls for about $3 (total). Here’s the other:


I did buy one thing for myself at the estate sell. I could not resist. This was a bidding war! But I won. I got a cabinet to put my crafting stuff in. It retails for $79 on Amazon PLUS you have to assemble it. I brought it already assembled for $32.

craft cart
craft cart

Then on May 8th, I’m going to North Carolina for another estate sale. I’m working half the day then heading to Cary, NC. Never heard of it but it is kinda near Duke University so I’m hoping I get to stop by. I may have to board my dog for the night. :/ It will be worth it if I can get the stuff I really want (THE LUGGAGE) but otherwise…I can’t believe I’m going to North Carolina for a sale. I’ve never been. Well, I been through there on my way to Vegas. And I got to see the Duke University merch at the gift shop. Can you tell that I’m a Duke fan?

Honestly after driving 35 minutes to get to the estate sell today, I’m kind of dreading driving 2 1/2 hours to Cary, NC. I know I need to get over it. But today just reminded me that I don’t love driving. I used to drive back and forth from college town (3 1/2 hour drive) with no problems. Now I’m just over it.

I definitely have enough stuff to sell. I don’t think I need much else. I will definitely NOT be driving 2 1/2 hours for anything else.

Well I’m going to find somewhere to put my cart and then put all my crafting supplies in it. I swear I’m going to bed early tonight. Today has been a long day. Up since 5AM. #hustle

Just Do It

I’m not a fan of LeBron James at all. It’s a Washington Wizards thing not a hater thing. But his new commercial rocks.

DO YOU! Everyday there are people saying negative crap about you. If those people were happy, they wouldn’t be talking about you. Never listen them. I know that to be true yet sometimes I fail at following that piece of advice. I know they are full of shit. Haters. Jealous. They don’t want to see you succeed or change. They think you haven’t paid your dues but only if they really knew what you’ve been through.

Pleasing others will get you nowhere. What do you want to do? DO IT.

/end semi-motivational self

/Begin pessimism

Faith. There’s that word again. It is good to have faith. I don’t doubt this is true. I just don’t know what it would feel like. When someone instructs me to “have faith,” I automatically think, Surely you must be kidding. When you lose a parent young, you lose the illusion that a higher power is watching out for you. I long ago stopped believing that “things always work out for the best” or “everything happens for a reason.” I don’t have time for such platitudes. I’m too busy trying to ensure that whatever form of security I’ve managed to create for myself won’t be taken away again.

For people like me, a desire to “have faith” may still exist, but it lives far, far underneath the responsibilities of the everyday world and the omnipresent need to keep everything under control. To have faith, one has to loosen the grip on control, or at least on the illusion that one has control, and learn how to trust that someone else will provide. That’s the step I just can’t bring myself to take.

-Hope Edelman

Oh, how I love that passage from The Possibility of Everything: A Memoir. I think it’s easier to have faith if you believe in a god or have (a lot of) human support. It’s just me. I’m the only person I can have faith in and then what about the outside forces. Having faith in oneself sucks…haha. It’s just hard for me.

I definitely don’t believe “things always work out for the best”. LOL. I have yet to see that in my life. Instead all I see is me listening to negativity and fear and making the WRONG choice. Trust me, I have looked over my life and tried to find how a wrong choice turned out right. Nothing.

I do believe that “everything happens for a reason.” BESIDES DEATH. Don’t tell someone that their kid, friend, SO died for a reason. What reason could it possibly be?? I know some religions create reasons and if that is helpful, wonderful! But telling someone that seems inhumane to me. Other than death, I do believe that everything happens for a reason. Even in my pitiful life. I have believed that before I knew what Buddhism was.

I’m in this situation for some fucked up reason. Hopefully I will learn something from it. That’s the way I take it.
I’m so tired. I’m going to take a nap before the first game of the NBA season starts.

negative nancies

I don’t care if people are negative about their own life or even the world. I remember when I was really into politics from age 17-25. Now I think all politicians are professional liars. They have to please their constituency…so unless they agree with everything the majority believes in, they are lying. A person can’t be a politician without being a liar. I actually feel bad for the “good” ones because they probably have a conscious. No, I don’t know who the good ones are. I do believe there are “good” ones though.

/end tangent. Okay so be negative about yourself, the world etc. But don’t try to bring ME down. That’s where I draw the line and do a journal entry. lol. WHY? Because no one knows the story but me. It’s my life, bitches! And you better be thankful not to have it. 😉

AVON didn’t work for you. FOR ME, it is about:

1. working on my social anxiety (hasn’t happened yet, loooooooong process). If I’m unwilling to work on this at work, then why not try to use Avon?? Maybe it will help me deal with rejection and meet contacts.

2. Doing something I like. I have moderate depression. It is nice to have an ACTIVE hobby. I have tons of passive hobbies.

3. The discounts. I have already gotten everything I want for myself. I probably won’t order anything for me for the next year. heh. I’m not really into makeup, fragrances or skin stuff and I tend to lose jewelry. I just ordered myself these awesome boots that would cost at least $70 at Victoria Secret from Mark. (same company as Avon). I do have to get my sister xmas gifts but I’m waiting until mid-October. She is soooooooo hard to shop for. I am so thankful for Avon and their discounts. Now every holiday she will get Avon and a $10 gift card. How easy is that?

Anyhow, that is why I’M doing it. Okay? It only cost 4.00 a month to keep your Avon account active but I bet they would suspend my account, if I were to order only 4.00 for 3 or 4 months straight. I do have to cut back. From Oct 1 on, I’m only spending $25 a month on Avon. Some months may be less but Xmas is coming and I want tons of Xmas brochures. MY issue is that I want to give people 5 samples with every brochure…which is probably absurd. Actually tonight I am taking back some samples from the packets I put together last night. That will cut down on spending. Btw, samples are only 1.00 for ten when it comes to fragrances. The skin stuff/lotion/make-up samples cost more.

Tomorrow I’m going to my dream downtown neighborhood. I so wanted to live in an apartment there before I found this house. College students live in some and the other apartments are filled with affluent people. Everyone is getting a dollar coupon (sarcastic WOW) and one or two samples. And hopefully I get a customer or two. I only live 3 minutes away from the apartments/condos. Some of the apartments have controlled access including one I took a tour of so I may not be able to get into some.

Then on Sunday, I’m going to the “projects” to hand out goody bags with actual products and coupons. Yes they can afford Avon. My only concern is, is there already a big time Avon seller there? Maybe but are they handing out coupons? These projects are in the suburbs and are the best “projects” around…even though there was one murder there over 15 years ago. I actually knew the guy. 😦 They never caught the person who did it. I think about him all the time.

Anyway, I have a customer at work. woohoo! I could have more but I don’t feel comfortable selling there. She says she LOVES Avon and will be a regular. I could hug her for life xoxoxo. heh.

The negative nancies are one of the reasons why I did not want to hand out brochures there. I work at a huge corporation but I don’t feel comfortable with them having my personal info. I don’t like them knowing my name! (Why didn’t my mom give me a middle name?) The other reason is the social anxiety. I deal better with strangers. Unfortunately Avon is easier to sell with people you “know”.

So sorry Avon didn’t work for you. 😦 You probably didn’t NEED it. I’m not doing this simply for the money. If I were outgoing maybe I could pull in $50 a month in this economy (excluding expenses). But I’m not outgoing so I’m coming up with creative ways to sell. It might have been a waste of money to you but this could be a life changer for me (re: getting out there). What they spend on eating out, I spend on my Avon hobby.

So hate on, haters. We all do things for different reasons. And if it were a way to get rich, then EVERYBODY would be doing it. Don’t hate on what you don’t know.

People at work also said I have OCD, no coping skills and I’m emotional. No shit. I’m not sure where they get the OCD thing from. It’s hidden you &%$*. As far as coping skills, anyone with a mental illness has to have coping skills. How did I get through college and get a full time job? It was hard. I did stuff others would never have to do or would do. However it is true, that I am bad at coping with some “little” things but they have to remember, they have FRIENDS and FAMILY to help them out. Support is everything. Try doing this shit on your own and call me back.

And yes I am happily emotional. I can hide happiness/excitement easily at work. But sadness, frustration and anger or much harder to hide. I wear my heart on my sleeve…not by choice.

Breaking News (from last week):

*******OH and I sold two handmade necklaces that I made 3 years ago at the flea market last weekend! More on that later. I have pics.***************

Thanks for making me blog you negative nancies!