may never be what you assume

I got the apprenticeship removed from my title! Finally! I haven’t been this happy in weeks. ๐Ÿ™‚ All of that work and money counted for something. I can erase that “A” off my resume.

I’m sick of talking to people who have NO CLUE how to get a job. They don’t understand that experience is required most of the time. And when experience isn’t required, they get hundreds of applicants.

Don’t know someone? Harder to get a job.

Have social anxiety? Harder to get a job.

I could go on…

DON’T PRETEND LIKE THIS SHIT IS EASY. How lucky are these people who have no idea how hard it is to get a job? Do they know how lucky they are? Geez. Count your blessings and stop telling ME how to get a job. It isn’t the same. Go back to la la land where everything is easy.

Sorry. I’m ranting again, but I swear I’m happy about finally getting someone to listen about how I met the requirements for my certification. Yes! They kept telling me I wasn’t qualified. I wanted to read their website to them.

I spent a couple of hours this afternoon working on my cover letter/resume for a temp agency (for part-time work). I have never done a cover letter for a temp agency. I think my letter could be better, but I really want to get this out tomorrow. Hopefully, I will get a call back by Friday.

Oh god. This morning I had $19.44 in my bank account. Good times. I have to get a PT job. Sigh. I’m going to read and watch the Olympics* before heading to bed. Or I might have a dance party. I’ve been doing a lot of dancing lately.

*Go Michael Phelps (Baltimore, baby!!)

I have to go to the bank tomorrow, and then I have a therapy appointment. My therapist is one of those people who is so CLUELESS when it comes to looking for a job. I would kill to be that clueless.

A cause for celebration



I can’t remember the last time I felt such pure joy. I’m going to be working from home. SOON. Soon as in two weeks or less!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Sorry. I actually smiled at my desk for the first time in a long time. Then I went into the bathroom and jumped up and down. ๐Ÿ™‚ What happened today? After all, I already said I was going to be working from home. I got some equipment today. Not my computer or printer. Something awesome. I really can’t say because it is a unique thing for our company. I am guarding that thing more than my life. I can’t believe this…………..any of this.

Total yayness!!

There are concerns. And I know life won’t be awesome (LOL) just because I’m working from home. I’m not that naive. But the work related concerns have to do with the internet. My router is downstairs. I’m working upstairs, far away from the router. Will I have to call the ISP to install anything? Will that hold up things up? Sigh. These are things I don’t know. And I don’t know how I am supposed to know them until I get all the equipment. By then it will be too late. And I could end up going home and then having to spend a day or two working AT work. (The horror!)

Oh well. Now I have to clean my house – never ending process – and my desk/office area. The office area is nothing compared to my house. I really have to buckle down and clean it. Otherwise how will I ever sell it? Sigh. Double sigh. %^#$

I’ve been rethinking the whole buying a townhouse thing. I know I can’t stand noise. It literally drives me crazy. NO it isn’t that I don’t like noise. I’m neurotic about it. Plus I happen to like my privacy. So why am I considering a townhouse? Of course there are benefits to a townhouse. I could get a really nice looking place with new appliances for a good price. Plus I wouldn’t have to worry about snow in the parking lot. Not that we have had any snow this year. It was 70 degrees yesterday.

I’m seriously thinking about moving to the country. That is my dream. HOWEVER, it is insane. I’m not going to be working at this company forever. What if I have to get a job in the city? How much gas will that be? What if all my money goes there? Plus there is car maintenance. Another drawback is the weather and I’m not talking just snow. What about the hurricanes? When they lose power, sometimes they don’t get it back for weeks. Once it was MONTHS. The biggest issue is really the job/driving into the city thing.

But wouldn’t it be great?? I could get 2-5 acres of land and a tiny house (heh) for the price of a nice townhouse. NO NEIGHBORS. My own driveway. The life. But how can I ever justify the job thing??? I’m really concerned with being stuck an hour away from the city. I already made one buying a house mistake. I can’t make another. And how patient are employers going to be when I say, “We still have snow out here. No plows have come and I live on a hill“. My current employer wouldn’t give a damn. I would be out of a job. In the city, you know that eventually the roads will be cleared.

The conclusion might be to try to find a private space in the city. But that won’t be easy. And I know from previous experience that a realtor won’t want to spend weeks or months looking for the perfect private house since I won’t be spending a lot of money. They want commission and I’m not giving them much.

I’ve been ruminating over this, probably too much. I was so sure about the townhouse but now I’m starting to question everything. How could I possibly think I could live there. Should I give it a chance? See, the questions never stop. When it isn’t social anxiety, it is anxiety about cleaning my house and where will I move?

Here is a house I’ve been obsessing over. It was built in 1999. 3 bedrooms and 2 baths. It is perfect for me because I love nature. I would have my own creek!!! And lake. It is within my budget. The house is small compared to all the land that comes with it. House is 1400 sq feet (big for me!) and 2.5 acres of land.

view of lake from patio
my very own creek?