Learn to let go

I guess I’m weaning myself off Abilify again. I’ve started taking a dosage every other day. It wasn’t planned, but one day I just skipped so I figured why not keep skipping days. After a couple of weeks, I will probably skip two days and then 3 days. I haven’t figured it all out yet.

It looks I got picked for training. :/ I kind of want to go to training just to do something different, but I’ve heard it’s hard. I love a challenge, but not when it comes to working since other things like my livelihood depends on it. However, since I can’t take off time until July or August, I have 3 days off at the end of next week!¬†Yay. Celebrate!! I was so nervous about asking for time off on such short notice. But fuck it. They won’t let me get my birthday vacation so what’s wrong with asking for time off next week? I could have taken the whole week off. I probably should have.

I have to book my Getaway from DC weekend vacay soon. I’m still nervous about not having cell service, and I feel guilty for keeping it a secret. I just have to get over it.

UPDATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I just booked the Getaway! I was a nervous wreck the whole time. OMFG. I am going to a cabin/tiny house in the woods on June 15th and I’m returning on June 17th. A weekend getaway. I’m still nervous. WTF did I do? My dog better behave. Ack!

I enjoyed the Grammys this year. It wasn’t great, but I had no expectations, and that’s why I think I enjoyed the show. The performances (for the most part) were good. I don’t care about the awards as much anymore. I used to care because the awards would affect sales and that does matter to the musicians. Well, Kesha’s song, “Praying” went back in the top ten on iTunes, so the Grammys still do affect sales somewhat. To all the people that like “Praying,” you’ll probably like the album so buy that too! ūüėČ

I won’t even comment on the Grammy boss saying that women need to step up. What BS. I listen to mostly female musicians, so I’m not having any of that. Whatever. Ugh.

This week I…

Music of the week (my top 8):  Kesha, Rachel Platten, Ariana Grande, Kelly Clarkson, Sam Smith, Taylor Swift, Brintey Spears, Carly Rae Jepsen

Bad reviews are coming in for Justin Timberlake’s album (by music critics). I’m not shocked. His music is very hit or miss. If I don’t like the new album, I’m so glad I’m not seeing him on tour when he comes to DC. I would still probably enjoy myself, but a concert is always better when you like the new music. I’m still excited to watch him at the Superbowl halftime. I don’t watch football anymore because it kills people. #BoycottFootball But I will watch halftime.

I don’t get why people are still so mad over the Janet Jackson prank, yet they aren’t as mad about JT doing a movie with Woody Allen. Don’t get me started on Woody Allen. Gross! (for lack of a better word).

TV of the week:¬†basketball, news, Grey’s Anatomy, PLL

I’m excited about the winter Olympics. I love curling. It is definitely my favorite thing to watch. I’m also thrilled about Celebrity Big Brother. lol.¬† I want Metta World Peace to win so bad. I heart him. I also like Brandi Glanville. I don’t think Brandi will win. She’s a shit stirrer on purpose. That rarely works, but we’ve never had a Celebrity BB before. So who knows?

Movie of the week:¬†I’m 90% through The King’s Speech. I’ll try to finish it this weekend.

Podcasts of the week: Mentally Chill, The Mental Illness Happy Hour, All In With Chris Hayes, True Crime Garage

Books of the week:¬†It’s been a while since I’ve done this section. I’ve finished a few books and started new ones. I finished reading¬†White Like Her: My Family‚Äôs Story of Race and Racial Passing¬†by Gail Lukasik (4 stars),¬†My Lovely Wife In the Psych Ward: A Memoir¬†by Mark Lukach (5 stars), and¬†Judgement Detox: Release the Beliefs That Hold You Back From Living a Better Life¬†by Gabrielle Bernstein (5 stars). TWO books with 5 stars in one month?? That never happens.

Now reading:

Planner update: Plans of the week in my Get to Work Book (coming Sunday)

Plans for the Weekend:¬†A¬†spin class on Sunday! I’m excited. Obvs. I’m also going grocery shopping and doing school work. I’m just looking forward to only working two days next week.

I hope to go the park today. I haven’t been since Saturday. It was about 60 on Saturday. Today will be 55 degrees. I got on my treadmill twice in the past 11 days! How sad to be so excited about that. But my dog is the problem. I can’t leave him alone while I’m on the treadmill. He’ll make a big mess. Last Monday he was at the vet being boarded (LA trip). And this Tuesday, I left him outside while I was on the treadmill. Obviously, I can’t leave him out there if it is really cold so that is why I’m glad I signed up for 4 classes of cycling.

Every winter I need to sign for some kind of class since I’m not going to the park every day when it’s cold. I used to go to the park as long as it was over 35 degrees. Now I won’t go unless it is at least 45. Sometimes I feel sick (like I’m getting a cold) when I go to the park when it’s really cold.

Thanks for reading! Have a great weekend. ūüôā

Day 2 in LA – Part one

I’m breaking day 2 into two parts. Gabby deserves her own entry. ūüôā

I woke up around 4 PST. I showered and watched the news until Starbucks opened at 5:30. Starbucks is located in the lobby of the hotel. I ordered a grande iced vanilla coffee and a blueberry muffin since they were out of coffee cake.

Then I watched PLL on Netflix for a while because it was still early. Long story, but the hotel tricked me with the internet. They said I wouldn’t have to pay for it. But I did end up paying $12.95 a day for Wi-fi. Whatever. If I stayed longer, I would have raised hell, but it was a short trip, so I didn’t mind paying.


At 9:50, I got a Lyft to downtown so I could go to the Grammy Museum. If it had been warmer, I would have gone to Manhatten Beach instead. But it was only 60 degrees. I felt like after day 1, I really needed a serene place to be.¬† Anyhow, I’m glad I went to the Grammy Museum. It is a must for music lovers. It focuses more on the history of music. My only complaint is that it is only 3 small floors. There is so much one can do with music and the Grammy’s. There isn’t enough there.

Barry White’s Grammy

I did some really awesome things like playing the drums for the first time! And I sang along to a song which escapes me right now. Don’t worry. No one else could hear. I was in a studio like room.¬† I think it was a song from the 80s. So fun. I stayed about 90 minutes. Then I walked over to the Staples Center. I had to. I’m a big Lakers fan so that was nice.

The Staples Center
The Staples Center

I wanted to stay out until 2PM so I could go straight to Gabby’s event without going back to the hotel. I thought about walking to Olvera Street. I really wanted to go there, but it was a 49-minute walk. It was VERY windy. So I decided to get something to eat to waste time. There were so many options. I googled almost of all the restaurants¬†and decided to go to¬†Ford Filling Station.¬†

The first thing a worker said to me was, “You came in here to get out of the cold?” Uh, YES! 60 degrees and windy is cold even for this east coast chick. I wanted lunch, but they were still serving breakfast. I had french¬†toast, sausages, and orange juice. The OJ was $8.00!! I don’t know what I was thinking. LOL. Those sausages were sooo good! I don’t eat pork when I’m at home. But when I’m out, I’ll occasionally treat myself to pork.

After that, I still had hours to waste. There are no stores in that part of downtown. (!!) It’s just restaurants, the Grammy Museum¬†and The Staples Center. A movie theater is nearby, and I thought about stopping in and wasting two hours. I wanted to see The Post, but I thought, what are the chances that the movie is starting right now? I should have checked.

Anyway, I caught a Lyft and went back to the hotel to wait for Gabby’s event. I watched the news and got into bed which ended up being a mistake…Part 3 coming soon.

Random pics:

Taylor swift
Taylor Swift’s lyrics to “22”
older design of the Grammy
Whitney Houston
Whitney exhibit


I have time to blog this evening because there still isn’t work at my part-time job. ūüė¶ I truly am enjoying this break. I’ve been really stressed out since October. But I’ve had more than a week off, and I’m ready to go back. Sigh.

These past two days I’ve been sucking at food and money. Fuck. I had a bad food day today. I ordered delivery. That affects my money. And then I ordered a printer. It wasn’t expensive but ugh! My dad gave me $50. That’s gone. It went to the printer. Anyway, I spent all yesterday evening trying to fix my other printer. I didn’t fix it. Obvs.

And my boss (full-time job) is making threats of making us work in the office! I was stressed out this morning after hearing that news. I don’t think my dog would deal well with me going to work every week day. He’s used to me being here all day. And when it is really cold (usually during January & February), I often don’t have water. So I would either have to go to my mom’s to shower or shower at the gym at work. What a headache.

That job is so stressful. I know some people have jobs that aren’t and I consider those people lucky. But I’m going to do my best. Whatever. I’m not in the mood to blog so I don’t know why I’m blogging. I was in bed finishing up The Fire Next Time by James Baldwin. I have about 10 minutes left.

The Grammy nominations were…I don’t know what to say. I probably won’t watch the Grammy’s next year. I think it is funny¬† interesting that Frank Ocean said he was going to boycott the Grammy’s and then he ended up getting NO nominations. Justin Bieber’s album had a few good singles, but the¬†album of the year? LOL. I’m not a hater. I just never listened to him before last year.

I do love that Maxwell’s song Lake by the Ocean got nominated for Best R&B song. Just when I wonder what the hell they are doing, they do something right. I love that song. Boring nominations overall. There’s nothing to be excited about. Am I supposed to care who wins between Beyonce and Adele? Because I don’t.

I’m devasted by the Oakland fire. Anytime someone is just going to a club or a concert or anything music related, and something like this happens, I just feel so bad for the deceased. I know bad things happen all around the world all the time, but there is something about music that just hits me more.

Quick post. I’m going back to finishing up my book before I get too tired. Before I go, here is a great James Baldwin quote:

The American Negro has the great advantage of having never belived that collection of myths to which white Americans cling: that their ancestors were all freedom-loving hereos, that they were born in the greatest country the world has ever seen, or that Americans are invicible in battle and wise in peace, that Americans have always dealt honorably with Mexicans and Indians and all other neighbors or inferiors, that American men are the world’s most direct and virile, that American women are pure. Negroes know far more about white Americans than that…


Update: I finished the book. Now onto my other reads…

The thrill is gone

The Grammys. Um, I’m glad D’Angelo won best R&B album, and Ed Sheeran deserved song of the year. Mostly everything else was a big WTF?

The performances were average overall. I’m getting sick of the forced duets. The first year they did it, it was nice because it was different. Now they do it every year.

I did enjoy (in no particular order) Carrie Underwood, Kendrick Lamar, Hamilton, Demi Lovato, Tori Kelly & James Bay, Lady Gaga, Andra Day and the first half of Justin Bieber. Demi was great during the Lionel Richie tribute. Of course the cast of Hamilton was superb. They just did what they normally do.

I have to admit that I got into bed after the Best New Artist award, so I didn’t see 20% of the show. About Best New Artist: I have nothing against Meghan Trainor. She’s talented. She writes. She doesn’t have the best voice, but she can sing live. I think she just won due to name recognition. Tori Kelly? James Bay? Only hardcore music fans know who they even are. The voters don’t know how talented Tori and James are. They probably only know their “hits”…if that!

So I understand how she won. She is a bigger star than everyone else in the category.

I don’t have strong feelings for Album of the Year. I didn’t love any of the albums nominated, so I didn’t care who won. I thought Kendrick Lamar would win but going back to the Meghan Trainor thing…More people have heard (and like) Taylor Swift’s 1989 than Kendrick’s album. So no shock there.

I’m disappointed in the show this year. Next year probably won’t be better. Adele will be nominated and win everything. Sigh. Hopefully, the performances will be better. That is what I usually watch the Grammy’s for. I felt like I wasted 3 hours of my life last night. hah.

You’re not breaking me

Good news post! 3 good things: Grammy’s, gym and wig. ūüėČ

Tori Kelly got nominated for Best New Artist!!!! OMG. YAY. Best news evah! So happy for her. People were saying she was going to get left out. I don’t think she’s going to win, but I know she must be on cloud 9. Congrats. I hope she wins. Now I have a reason to watch the Grammy’s. YES! ¬†Congrats to James Bay too. Both got nominated in the same category. ¬†If Tori wins, I will die.

And….D’angelo got nominated for Record of the Year!! Amazing! Wow, I can’t believe this. The Grammy’s are going to be so fun. D’angelo better show up. I don’t think he’s going to win either. Damn. But at least The Academy recognized him.

I have to say a few negative things about the nominations. Um, Alabama Shakes for album of the year? UGH. I hate that album. Oh and D’angelo should have gotten nominated for Album of the Year. That goes without saying. Bummed that Carly Rae was completely snubbed. ¬†Still so excited, though. AHHHHHHHH! Fun times.

The whole list of nominees can be found here.

I finally cancelled my paid gym membership. It was so easy. I didn’t even have to talk to anyone! I emailed. She offered me $10 off a month, but money isn’t the only reason I’m cancelling. I go to the free gym more so I’m sticking with that. Free vs. paid? Free wins this time.

I went to the free gym this past Saturday. ¬†Two weeks in a row. woohoo. ūüėČ As I was walking in, a woman was leaving so I had the whole gym to myself again. I did two miles on the treadmill. No weightlifting or bike.

If only I would go to the gym after work. I don’t see that happening. I have my schedule set. ¬†Work, nap, eat dinner, back to work, practicum, leisure time, bed. I have to get my nap in. Nap or workout? Nap wins almost every time.

See how exciting my life is? lol.

I got my wig today. I already wore it out of the house when I took my dog to the vet. I don’t think I did a great job cutting the lace, but it was fine for today…according to me. I LOVE IT! It was so expensive, I’m glad I do love it. I’m glad I paid extra for thickness because otherwise I know I would complain about it being too thin.

My only complaint is that the back is too short. Other than that, no complaints so far. No shedding. But I haven’t had it for 24 hours so…who knows?? It looks real as it should. What else can I say? I’m in love with it.

The interesting part will be taking care of it. I suck at hair. I’ve been trying to find info on taking care of it. But I guess I’m supposed to take care of it like normal human hair, but I’m not good at that! WAH. I need resources.

For now, I will calm down because it is like new. I’ll worry about issues as they arise.

Gotta go back to work for my “late shift”.