Give me fire

I might be going to see John Mayer in concert again!!!!!! Tickets go on sale on Sept 20. Barring anything financial stopping me I will be buying a ticket. I can always sell the ticket if I have to. I saw him in 2010 for the first time. I had a great seat to see him in a small venue in 2012 but he had to have throat surgery and the show was canceled. The show isn’t until December. YAY. Exciting. I’m just glad he is coming back.


I made the wheat free mini pizzas. I would not recommend them if you are trying to lose weight. It is one of those wheat free but not healthy foods. I WILL NOT be eating these regularly. The pizzas tasted soooo good though. It was better after putting it in the fridge and microwaving it the next day. Here are the pictures:

step one
step one
finished product
finished product

I didn’t exactly follow the recipe from the book “Wheat Belly”. (<—recipe there) For two pizzas, I used:

  • 2 wheat free pizza crusts
  • 3/4 of a 1lb of beef
  • 6 slices of mozzarella cheese
  • 4.5 oz marinara sauce
  • a little bit of Parmesan cheese

I baked it for about 20 minutes. Of course I cooked the beef first. I would have used pepperoni but I could not find them at Kroger. I would like to try a dairy free pizza. The best thing about being wheat free is that I am no longer eating processed food as a part of my diet.


I had a weird encounter with a neighbor on Labor Day. Well I don’t really consider him a neighbor. It would take me about 15 minutes to walk to his house. First he just came into my yard on his scooter like it was his place. I was mowing the lawn. Boundaries people! He acted like I had to talk to him. Like he deserved answers from me. I HATE when people do that. #1 You aren’t a neighbor. #2 You don’t have the right to know shit.

But I was nice. I even said something I would never say without the other person saying it first. “Nice meeting you”. I don’t know where I got that fake BS from. It just popped into my head and I actually said it! What I did love was that he didn’t say it back. LOL. Keeping it real. I like. 🙂

What really bothered me is he said some “devilish” stuff was going on. Um, okay. I have nothing to do with that. I stay in my house. I don’t talk to anyone. I bother no one. I think I have one real neighbor (The wife died before I moved here. I think the husband or someone lives there. All I know is that the house is for sale).  I felt like he was accusing me of something. Whatever is going on, it isn’t my fault. I live 15 minutes away from you. We aren’t even neighbors. WTF are you even here for?

He also insisted that my car was gone at night. HUH??! Unless someone is stealing it every night and returning it (nicely) in the morning, my car is not gone overnight. So strange.

The whole thing bothered me. If I had kids or an outdoor pet, I would  swear they must be bugging someone. I don’t even go outside that much! I’m only outside to go to my car, mow the lawn and occasionally read on the porch. I don’t get it.

People. Can’t live with them.

talk to strangers?

Today was not the greatest. I was so cranky. I couldn’t wait to get home. I got up at 5AM went to work, then left for court (jury), and then went back to work. And all I had was two protein bars and a banana to eat. I didn’t eat that all at once. I left my lunch at home so that was all I had. No sleep + no real food = cranky me.

Then I get home thinking I’m going to take a nap. LOL. Guess what? Some jackass won’t stop shooting their gun. It might be a BB gun. I dunno. THIS IS WHY I WANT TO MOVE. Last night they were up to similar shenanigans hence no sleep. If you live in an area where you don’t here BB guns or real guns, please leave your neighborhood in the comments. I hear both A LOT. (I’m joking about the comment thing, I can’t leave the area right now but thanks!)

I’m seriously considering moving into an apartment in a year or two.

As always I’m studying people’s behavior (psych major) and jury duty was interesting. Do people talk to people they don’t know out of boredom or because they are social creatures? Or both? There were two groups there. I was in group two. Group one was a very talkative bunch. I was awed at how they didn’t know each other but talked so much anyway. Maybe this is a cynical take but the most extroverted people at work would talk to a door!

I always want to say, “X will talk to ANYONE”. Of course I wouldn’t do that…but does that devalue X’s communication? I’m not trying to be snarky or funny. This is from my perspective as a low social needs person. I could go two+ weeks without seeing another human and be completely fine. I wouldn’t even notice it.
This was supposed to be the “summer of creativity”. I have been doing projects and trying new things but I’m still coming to the conclusion that some of us are art appreciators. I spent one of my lunch breaks admiring local art in a gallery. It was one of the best lunch breaks I ever had. Sure I saw jewelry, paintings & handbags I wish I could make. How about instead of wishing I had their talent, I just appreciated it instead?
Without my fridge, I need to come up with food options. I’ve been staying away from canned food due to the high sodium but without a fridge, what option do I have?


I get so restless when it is hot. Whoo! I have a full weekend. Anybody who knows me knows that I would not be excited about that…at all. I like to stay home and have at least one day when I don’t have to shower. (I knew “eww” whatever!) lol.

I went to therapy for the first time in 6 weeks. She is making me GO somewhere! She’s so tough. I have to go FOUR times in a month. Okay, it really isn’t that bad but she better not make it worse next time because I will regress which means just not doing it. Going to Barnes & Nobles for an hour doesn’t seem that bad. She said hours though. She is very funny. Of course I have to get there early so I can choose my spot. Really I could just stand and browse the books. I’ve only sat down once and it was at a table for about 20 minutes. I think I was looking into bathroom remodeling. I’m obsessed with bathrooms. Nope, my bathroom is not being remodeled. 😦

So I would be waking up early on Saturday and Sunday. ARGH! I know these conditions are horrid. (joke). My dog has a bath and pedi scheduled for 8am (fuck!) on Sunday. LOL. I would have chosen 10am but I didn’t make the call. 8am??! I didn’t know they opened that early. Oh well. I also have to mow the lawn this weekend which scratches going to the gym off my schedule. *um, yay*

I’ve been wanting to go to Barnes & Nobles because they have the free Wi-fi but of course I’m leery because I have no idea how it works. (I know how Wi-FI works, I just don’t know what the norm is in B&N). How many people bring their laptops in? Do you have to get a code or does it just work? Since I don’t know the answers to these questions yet, I’m not taking my laptop with me. If I could get free wi-fi, I might slip in more than 4 times a week. heh. Just kidding. Being a regular customer at any place freaks me out.

I’m going to the library on Saturday too but B&N is definitely better because they have NEW books. I’m researching careers at the moment so I could use a hour or two in a book store. Now that I’m thinking about it, I have a ton of books I want to browse (cooking, health, the remodel section, crafts etc.) How hard is this? It really depends on how many people are there. Most people (strangers) mind their own business so I’m not as nervous.

Of course my therapist wants me to say “hi” or smile. I still feel like that is an intrusion if someone is focused. If the other person speaks first then I know it is fine. But speaking to strangers in a book store, I don’t think I’ve ever done it…not counting the workers.

I told her my life story (AGAIN ) and of course she gets why I am the way I am. This was the first time I articulated how scary the school bus rides were. And it was every weekday! Then it was the stuff that happened n the school. It was terrifying. But all the teasing and being hit with paper balls*, didn’t make me want to go to school less.

*yeah it could have been rocks. I’m so lucky! I despise sarcasm but I have to be like my smart-ass coworkers. Anything to fit in. 🙂

We also talked about eating out alone. I’ve done that. I’m not really a fan of restaurants. I love breakfast food and I can make my own with smaller servings so I don’t feel the need to go. If there is a breakfast all day menu, I ALWAYS go for it. It’s a shame really because I’m probably missing out on some good food. That is what made NYC so fun. I didn’t eat in any restaurants but I got take out a few times. (Yes ones with pictures of President Obama hanging on the wall. Is there a restaurant he has not been to?). I had smoked salmon, spinach and cheese, brisket etc. If there was a breakfast option, I would have missed out on that salmon. Yummy!

It’s storming. I’m going to try to take a nap. And yes I am excited about going to B&N. But why did I need someone to push me to do something I really wanted to do?

eating rich

Do I start with LeBron or tea? I have no original thoughts on either.

Well I’m not even middle class enough to get to this organic tea’s website: organic Yogi Tea. I’m sure it is really nice though. Yeah being a little sarcastic but I hate how many sites assume people have high speed internet. But I can get to the Yogi Tea wiki page. I don’t think $4.00 for 16 bags of tea is that expensive. It was the only thing in the organic aisle Kroger that I did not scoff at. They do have $5 teas and yep, I stayed away from those. I don’t even want to know what the best tea is because chances are that I can’t afford it.

I know I’m the millionth person to say this. And there are probably decent answers out there. But wow, poor people pretty much have to eat crap. I spent my lunch break in the organic aisles, not an option. I already knew this because I’m not exactly middle class. Prepackaged food and crappy food is cheaper and it doesn’t taste bad. We are shortening their life spans and no one cares because they are poor. Shhh!

One more random thing, a lot of the organic juices have more sugar than a Coca Cola! The juices may be healthier but um, not if you are diabetic. Some people dilute the juice with water. Ummmmm, that isn’t me. I didn’t get a chance to check out the regular juice aisle like I wanted to because I had to go back to work.

I brought two different boxes of Yogi Teas. I would link to them if I could get to the website. One is for bedtime. The other is energy tea. The later has 28 mg of caffeine. (which is low compared to everything else). Of course the other has no caffeine. I wanted to get a regular relaxation tea but that would have been 3 boxes of tea. 🙂 Oh and there was one for digestion. I really wanted that but FOUR boxes…No!

…, I’m not a tea drinker but I will be until this stuff runs out. I still am at a lost about what to eat and drink. I will drink water from work but the water from my tap smells. No one would choose to drink that stuff. I’m on a mission to come up with a low high fructose corn syrup, low sugar, easy digestible affordable “diet”. This is hard. The affordable part is the part that knocks a lot of options out. Oh and there is no way I’m cooking everyday. So if that is the only solution………then I’m over it.

I’m not a LeBron James fan at all. He is the enemy of the state City. The District of Columbia. Wizards fans know what I’m talking about. We will continue to hate him on the court now that he is with Miami. I’ve never been a Miami fan. Never liked Alonzo Mourning, Pat Riley etc.

What I find interesting is Dan Gilbert’s letter to the Cleveland fans. Gilbert is the Cleveland Cavaliers owner, non NBA fans. He calls LBJ narcissistic. Well no shit. If you were told by the world at a young age that you were the best you would be narcissistic too! Adults can’t even handle all that ass kissing. He wasn’t born that way like a lot of sociopaths but c’mon. No one should be shocked when a celeb is self involved. We created his world.

I don’t think Gilbert’s anger is all about how much of a hit he will take in the pocket. But he has been around James for 7+ years. He knows him. This is stuff he wanted to get out. LBJ is narcissistic and self centered. I know I’m not supposed to say this. I’m not going to explain because I’m in an awkward typing position and my arm is starting to hurt….heh.

Anyhow, he doesn’t owe Cleveland shit. They wouldn’t give a crap about him if he weren’t a basketball player. He gave them 7 whole years (well that lame performance in the last playoff game is questionable). If I were from Cleveland I would be devastated…….but understanding.

What I don’t get is the LeBron brand thing. What is he branding? His name? Most people know him as a bball player. What else does he do? (Well he is a decent dancer and quite funny but how many regular folk even know that?). The Kardashians are better at building a brand than he is. I just don’t get it. If it is supposed to be for after basketball, then I get it. Right now he seems to be focused on basketball (and being in Carmelo Anthony’s wedding this weekend). Kim Kardashian will be there. She is best friends with Melo’s fiancé. Maybe the King should talk to her. IF he can lower himself for a few minutes and take some advice.

His “non brand” took a huge hit last night. One more random thing: He showed emotion! He isn’t a robot. The sound on my TV is crap so I was watching him as he spoke. He felt something when he saw a “fan” burn his jersey. (Um, sure no TV producer was egging him on – really!). He flinched at that. Allen Iverson would have cried. Well AI, would’ve never done this in the first place.

He needs Kris Jenner as his manager. ASAP.

lunch break. Not getting any work done @…

lunch break. Not getting any work done @ work. Good thing I left my wallet at home. I was going grocery shopping. Only spending $10 or so. But I have no idea what to get since I can’t eat anything. Organic tea? How much does that run at Kroger? Anyhow, I’m only doing the no soda/caffeine on the weekends. That doesn’t include when I’m traveling though I will try. I don’t travel a lot of course but in two weeks I will be. I got my hotel for my two day John Mayer weekend. Should be relaxing.

book report: Naturally Thin

Naturally Thin: Unleash Your SkinnyGirl and Free Yourself from a Lifetime of Dieting by Bethenny Frankel was an eye-opening experience in many ways. First, I had no idea people obsessed over food like this. I know people are always on diets and that diets don’t work. But the obsession? And I’m an obsessor (not a word). So I get it but I had no clue that people lived this way. It’s not like I eat whatever I want without thinking about it. But I never think , “Have I have a carb today?” Sometimes I eat two servings of protein, carbs, whatever during ONE meal. *gasp!* For people like me, reading Naturally Thin can be overwhelming.

I cannot think about food this way is what I kept repeating while reading the book. I have enough obsessions. I am not adding food to the list. I don’t want to over analyze what I eat. To change my way of eating to Bethenny’s way…food would be all I thought about! I will use a lot of the info but overall this way of eating isn’t for me. Example: I usually only go to restaurants while traveling. I’m going to eat whatever I want on those rare occasions. However, I do understand that this information is helpful for people who eat out a lot.

So for people who aren’t serial dieters or obsessed with food, I warn you that this book may not be for you. However, I did get things out of this book and I would still recommend it to…everyone. Why? Bethenny’s 10 food rules can be applied to other areas of your life. I have successfully used these rules for one week (but fell off the wagon the next week…lol). So if you need a pep talk or I don’t know, a shrink or you just like self-help, this book is useful. Needless to say Naturally Thin is a must read for serial dieters. A+ for that group.

Others things I noticed were the over generalizations. But B admits she isn’t a nutritionist. She’s a natural food chef. For example, she mentions quite a bit how sweets make you feel. She must be a fast oxidizer because sweets have the opposite effect on me. (I’m a slow oxidizer when it comes to sweets but I can skip meals & snacks like her so there is an overlap). This is about metabolism. I’m not an expert. This info can be found in natural healing books or Google.

I learned a lot of useful things from the book and I am eating more veggies and checking out more natural food. I’m thinking of doing a 2 day cleansing the week of my 30th birthday (after NYC trip) . I’ve never done it before. I have to admit, I know next to nothing about food. I can barely tell a carb from protein. And I do not cook. The notes I wrote in my journal from Naturally Thin are kind of embarrassing to admit because this is probably common sense to most but I will share anyway:

  • Eat fruit with nuts
  • Yogurt has protein
  • Fruit is better on an empty stomach. (really needed to know this!)
  • Fruit is cleansing.
  • Put berries on food, forget the sugar.
  • Brown rice is good for fiber, energizes you.
  • Watermelon: good for thirst and fiber
  • Use raw sugar.
  • Choose oat flour over white.

I should have just highlighted the info in the book because this book is definitely a keeper. (I swap books on and no writing/highlighting is allowed). There is much more useful info in the book but I didn’t always have my journal with me. There are recipes in the book. I’m planning on getting her recipe book soon (The Skinnygirl Dish: Easy Recipes for Your Naturally Thin Life). I think she will motivate me to semi-cook. I really want to bake her vegan cookies. I don’t even have a cookie sheet. I haven’t used an oven in 3 years!! But all this will change gradually.

Overall, a very helpful book. I want to personally thank her for writing Naturally Thin. I would just say what she has heard 1 million times. “Your rules changed the way I approach my life”. (not food wise but it doesn’t matter).

Thanks B! You are truly my inspiration. Not just for the book by how you got where you are. 🙂

anti-cook salad

Ugh, I’m bummed. I can’t even make an edible salad. I have in the past but I brought beets. The damn beets ruined everything! I love the beets @ our salad bar at work. But these beets taste NOTHING like those. I brought salt free -but not sodium free- sliced canned beets from Kroger. Why should I even share the recipe to my anti-cook salad when it sucked?? I know. Get the fuck over it! I just ate it though…and I am disappointed. That is my lunch for the next 3 days. Ok, I’ll stop. :/

Ingredients (enough for at least 5 servings)

tuna cubes (found in the canned meat aisle)
fresh bagged spinach
1 cucumber
canned sliced beets (if you know how to use them)

How to anti-cook

slice the cucumber
mix the other stuff w/cucumber slices
add two dashes of cinnamon if you like (I only added it due to the beets – didn’t help)

Warning: I don’t think cucumbers and beets go well together…or it may be just me. Should I have microwaved the beets first? lol. But some people eat all the veggies raw so I didn’t think they had to be cooked. 😦

There is your colorful salad. I brought pecans and walnuts to provide protein but I didn’t add them because I didn’t feel like doing all that I had the tuna for protein. Most of the time I don’t add salad dressing to my salad. If I do it is usually the brown/tan Italian dressing. Does that even mean anything to anyone? I know nothing about food. Obviously!

I made 3 salads for lunch because I had only 3 containers. 🙂

Now I wish I had salad dressing to make the sourness from the beets go away. I rarely even buy dressing. Damn. I screwed up. Usually I don’t have the energy to even anti-cook but I mowed my lawn for the first time since October. It took just under an hour which is normal. Anyhow, my point was mowing the lawn gave me energy.

gotta go.


vegged out

Secret: I have a tiny crush on Rahm Emanuel. *shhhh*

Wow, leaving the house on a Sunday isn’t always bad. I did go to work. I was planning on being there for about 60-90 minutes. I was there longer and got much less done. Other people were there. EXTREMELY rare. I should’ve gone earlier. The fear creeps in. I didn’t let that ruin my time. I was more productive than I would have been at home. (one way to look @ it).

The coworker that used to order Avon from me asked me for a brochure for the first time since the 3 hour, stuck in my car, emotional breakdown incident. I thought it was over so….interesting.

So many firsts today. I went to Kroger and brought two cans of vegetables! I can’t eat coleslaw, macaroni salad etc. anymore. Ever since I was sick in late 09/early 10, I really have to watch what I eat. The ironic thing is eating too much frozen broccoli is what made me sick at that time. I knew I was eating a lot of broccoli but who can’t eat anything for 7 days after? I thought broccoli was healthy. Anyhow, now I’m eating string beans almost daily. French styled cut only. 😉 I’m going to move on to kale & maybe sweet peas.

I used to cook cabbage. I’ve been so anti-cooking…hence the bad processed foods. Maybe I have to cook. Not cooking is no longer an option. :/

I’m going to blog about my basket extravaganza later. It looks like there is a tiny hope for me and organization.


Life is a school. For whatever reasons, at least for now, I’ve been given a steeper path -a tougher curriculum. That doesn’t make me wrong. In fact, adversity develops qualities of strength and compassion.

-Anxiety & Phobia Workbook


Sunday I felt fine but this morning, not so much. I guess all I can eat is fish. I can’t even eat vegetables. In fact, I think eating broccoli started all this. I made salads tonight for lunch this week. I’m hope the lettuce doesn’t make me sick. What else is in the salad? Tuna cubes (sooo good – find them in the canned meat aisle) & turkey slices. NO salad dressing. I know I can’t handle that.

With that being said, I did go to work today. I met my goal. Go me! 😉 As I was taking a shower I said, “I want to do [this], nah that is too much. NO, I’m sticking with [that]. And guess what I did exactly [that]. lol. I should’ve dreamed bigger.

The biggest issue is that I was there for mostly an hour and a half alone. Of course I was more productive! I’m not going to feel bad about doing better when they aren’t there. That is how it is. I consider myself lucky because the other person who likes to stay late was off. I may not have the same opportunity tomorrow. (pleasepleaseplease)

same goal, tho.