My therapist hates elephants

I read the El Paso’s shooter’s supposed manifesto. It was kind of short. And he doesn’t seem more mentally ill than the average murderer. But I will withhold judgement until we get a background on the shooter.  Um, I agree with some of what he said. Okay, only 5%. Most jobs will be automated. That’s a fact unless some magic law occurs (it will not). Sad, but true. My current job won’t exist in 10 years. I’m surprised it still exists now. It sucks. The answer seems to become an entrepreneur. These people seem to not realize that not everyone is made for that. Plus, some businesses need capital, and if you don’t have a trust fund, how do you get started?

I started something online because that was the only option for me.  I’ve made about $50 in 2019. But I’m not giving up, but if I had a brick and mortar store, I would have to give up due to costs. Anyway, some of his manifesto I don’t understand. It seems to be a racist thing.

I don’t understand what automated jobs and being anti-pollution have to do with killing immigrants, though. I’m clueless. I guess he just put that in there to explain his frustration. And I’m sure he didn’t only kill/injure immigrants. What a waste of life. He’ll probably be killed by Texas. He is also anti-war. I think. I refuse to try to figure out everything he said. But I’m anti-war too. Then he calls Americans hypocrites. Um…… yes, Americans are extremely hypocritical when it comes to many things, but you just killed 20+ people so???? Yeah, I’m anti-war, but I’ll kill a bunch of innocent people for no reason. Pathetic.

Kind of hard to move on from that…

My therapist hates elephants, so I don’t know if I should see her again. Okay, she didn’t say she hated elephants, but she told me she didn’t think it was a good idea to adopt one. LOL. It’s not going to live with me in my 95-degree room. I have a dog! Whatever. I will probably wait until September/October to adopt the elephant IF I’m good and don’t waste money on crap. It’ll be a reward. I’ve always hated the idea of rewarding myself by buying stuff. But since I’ve been off Abilify, I’ve been good with not buying stuff. Am I cured? Probably not.

A lot of stuff going on with therapy and doctors right now. It’s so much to unpack. I don’t feel like getting into now. I still can’t eat when I first wake up. I now get up later around 5:30 AM and then I eat at 7:30 only because I can’t drink coffee on an empty stomach. I’m so tired due to the meds. SO Tired. I can barely work. But I have to. The quickest work is there between 6 AM and 7:30. If you come in at 8, good luck making the goal. So I work in 30-minute spurts and then sleep while sitting up for about 3 minutes at a time. I’m not kidding.

I’m drinking a lot of caffeine these days. I still weigh 132, so I’m not losing any more weight. I lost 4 pounds when I first got off Abilify. Now I’m stable…for now.

Election 2020: The next debate in September will only have 10 people. One night. Good for the public. But it’s the same for the candidates. They will still only have one minute to respond. That’s frustrating. Like most people, I hate the constant cutting off the candidates.

Kamala was exposed for the liar she is. Finally. She won’t be the nominee. Okay, I felt bad for her at times during the debate. But her debate performance is how she is during town halls. She can’t answer 50% of the questions with a straight forward answer because she has to lie. EXPOSED.

I want a Warren/Castro ticket, but that will never happen. Castro isn’t polling high enough to be taken seriously. HOWEVER, he is from Texas. Could he help the Dem candidate win Texas?? Probably not. I just really like Castro’s policies, so I want him on the ticket.

I could say more. I live-tweeted some of the debate, so my thoughts are on the sidebar.  I have to get back to working on creating my astrology course. I’m working on module 4 out of 5 modules.

This week I…

Music of the week: Taylor Swift, Beyonce, Camila Cabello, Ariana Grande, Rachael Sage, Carly Rae Jepsen, Tori Kelly, Alessia Cara

TV of the week: Big Brother, Grey’s Anatomy

I’m thinking about watching The Bachelorette now that it is over. But it would take forever. I think each episode is 2 hours??! I watch TV in spurts so that would take me at least 6 weeks to watch. Not sure it’s worth the time, but nothing is on besides Big Brother.

Podcasts of the week: True Crime Garage, Generation Why, White Lies, A Course in Miracles Radio, Pod Save America, Crime Junkie, Tarot for the Wild Soul, The 11th Hour, AM Joy

Books of the week: Now reading:

I’m working on my course, so I’m knee-deep in about 5 astrology books right now.

Weekend Plans: No overtime this weekend. 😦 But I still worked a little, so I wouldn’t be behind next week. I hope I get to work overtime next week, but my manager is on vacation so I who knows? Right now I’m installing Windows 10 on my work computer. I’m so nervous that it won’t work by Monday and I’ll have to go to work in the office. It is taking more than the 4 hours I was quoted. I’m really nervous I will lose documents I need to do my work. Oh well.

My astrology class was canceled. So no sitting in front of a computer for 3 hours tomorrow. I will work on creating my course. In fact, I must get back to that now.

Thanks for reading. Have an excellent weekend! 🙂

Going to be a new mom

I hope my dog doesn’t read this. I’M ADOPTING AN ELEPHANT!!!!!!1111!!!!! I don’t know when but hopefully this month? I have bills, and the system wasn’t working today, so I couldn’t work this morning. Now I don’t have much OT for the week. 😦 I count on OT way too much. It’s not going to last forever. When it ends, I may have to get a PT job. I got an order this week from my online biz, and I’m starting an online course, so there is a chance I may get some extra income from that.

Anyway, I’ve considered many different organizations. I’ve been supporting Elephants.com for years (not always financially) since I read a book about their sanctuary in Tennessee. However, I also love the Sheldrick Wildlife Trust because they allow their elephants to go back to into the wild. They can do that. They are in Kenya. We can’t do that in the US. 😉 It is $50 a year to adopt any animal. After reading so much about elephants, I’m picking an elephant. $50 isn’t bad at all. I don’t know how long it takes to rehabilitate an elephant. I have a feeling they are quick learners, but it probably depends on the animal. As soon as they know how to live in the wild, Sheldrick Wildlife Trust lets them go, so I won’t get to “keep” the elephant forever. But I can find another elephant or a rhino to adopt.

I’m so excited about this, and I haven’t done it yet! LOL.

I couldn’t get on Latuda, so the doctor put me on two other meds. He picked two because I had symptoms of depression on the day I talked to him. Now that I’ve stopped taking the anti-nausea medicine, I am no longer depressed! Ha. No more anti-nausea medicine unless necessary. I still can’t eat early in the morning (no breakfast for me) or anything substantial. I’ve lost 4 pounds in less than two weeks. I now weigh 132. I’m just glad my grocery bill will be low tomorrow. All I have to buy are drinks and yogurt. I think the yogurt is messing me up since I’ve stopped the Abilify, but I’m going to buy the smaller cups. After I eat yogurt, I just want to get in bed. I’ve been eating yogurt daily for about 5 years. Not trying to stop now.

The meds: Unfortunately they cost $110 a month. Bummer. But I don’t think I’m going to be on them long. If I’m not depressed, one med can go. The other I don’t know about. Oh, it makes me SO SLEEPY! I don’t know I’m what I’m going to do on Monday morning. Today I worked for 25 minutes. The system stopped working, so I went back to sleep for two hours!! That is unlike me. Typically I would have worked on creating my course or studied since I was already working. But I got back into bed, my dog got on top of me. He was exhausted too. If he moved, I didn’t feel it.

When I woke up, I checked the system Still down. I tried again at 1. The system was still down. I gave up on trying to work.

I see my doctor on August 4. Hopefully, I won’t be depressed, but I doubt he takes me off something so soon so I’ll just have to pay and take the meds. 😦

Election 2020: The debates are next week. I’m not as excited as I was last time. Biden will be more aggressive. That is all I know. Oh, and Booker will go after Biden if the moderators ask the right questions. I’m sure they will. I will probably fall asleep since I’m on all these meds. Booker vs. Biden will be the second night.

This week I…

Music of the week: Carly Rae Jepsen, Taylor Swift, Amy Winehouse, Maggie Rogers, Victory, Sara Bareilles, SWV, Aretha Franklin

TV of the week: Big Brother, Grey’s Anatomy, The Hills

The Hills is fake and may be as decent as used to be? I’ve only watched one and a half episodes, so I don’t know if I’m going to keep watching.

Podcasts of the week: True Crime Garage, 22 Hours: An American Nightmare, So You Wanna Be a Witch, Learn Astrology with Mary, Generation Why, White Lies

Books of the week: Now reading:

Weekend Plans: Well, I was supposed to do OT today. I worked on the course I’m creating. Tonight I’m going to write scripts, so I can get some recording done before I go grocery shopping tomorrow. I don’t have astrology class tomorrow. Yay! The class lasts for about 3 hours, so I’m so glad for a break.

Thanks for reading. Have a great weekend! 🙂