Wait For It Ladies

I’ve died and gone to planner heaven…or hell. I got a 2015 Erin Condren Planner from eBay for $12 (including shipping!). It is dated from Feb. 2015 to Dec. 2015.  Here’s the catch: It is uncoiled. That is why it was so cheap. Not many people want a bunch of uncoiled pages but I do. I’m going to cut off the edges and hole punch it to fit into a 3-ring binder.  (I will post a video from Youtube on how to do this once I get my planner). It will take a loooong time to do. I hate binders because they are so big but it is the cheapest option. This planner will rarely leave the house.

The Erin Condren Life Planner (ECLP fom now on) will be for my eBay business only. Yes, I’m going to start (or continue) selling on eBay. I can’t make anything sell worthy. I have no social skills. I’m not talented. What else am I supposed to do? This is my only option. The good thing is, I like selling. But I’d rather sell at flea markets. Since I don’t enjoy being around people, that is kind of weird. Sell in person??! Anyway, eBay will do.

My point is that I will use my ECLP for everything related to my new hustle. Nothing personal will be in it. I will have plans for going to yard sales/flea markets, when auctions start and end, expenses etc. etc. I have an auction going on now. I thought I would start slow and get back into the flow of selling.

(To get $10 off a Erin Condren Planner you can use my link).

That’s not it. NO. I also got….wait for it. A Kikki.K planner! AHHHHHHHHHHHH! I wanted the big one so bad but I had no real use for it so I got the medium. It will replace my wallet. I got it for 50% off. It just happens to be the latest version which is purple. My favorite color is purple. (OMG – Like are u serious??!!1) Kikki.K is an Australian based company but their shipping is affordable worldwide.

Here is a video of the planner: (Skip to around the 4 minute mark to just see the planner)

I know she had a few negative things to say about the planner but at 50% off I decided it was worth it. Besides, isn’t it gorgeous?

I doubt I use this planner for planning. Shocking, I know. It will be a wallet and what I pull out at doctor’s appointments. I’ll keep track of the major things in there, of course. It will go with me everywhere. The Plum Planner (will it ever ship?) and ECLP will mostly stay home.

So in summary….My Plum Paper Family Planner is my personal planner. Everything (except ebay??) will go in there. My ECLP will be for eBay only. My Kikki.K is basically a fancy wallet. A grown up wallet. You should see the purple (!) $10 wallet I have now. It is pretty but it looks cheap. Obviously I don’t care about looks because I brought it 6 months ago and use it everyday. It will be nice to have something fancier.

I know some people don’t get why people need more than one planner but I kind of explained my reasoning in the last paragraph. Well I don’t need it but youknowwhatImean.

Planner heaven or hell? I don’t know. I haven’t gotten anything yet! My ECLP should arrive first – Friday or Saturday. Can’t wait. 🙂 Pics of the planners once they come.

taking chances

It hasn’t happened yet but I’m 99% sure I am putting my dog to sleep this weekend. 😦 She just had her 17th or 18th birthday (have to look it up). I’m losing my best friend. 😦 So sad. I’ve been having trouble sleeping. I’m so not looking forward to Saturday when I will lose my baby, my only friend. 😦 😦 😦

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Warning: long entry with a few  pics

I went to the free gym on Wednesday because I figured I wouldn’t feel like going to spin class after taking my dog to the vet on Saturday. It was semi-crowded. I have never seen that many people at that gym when it isn’t January. Note to self: Don’t go to the gym at 3:45PM on a weekday. (Nah, I’ll probably try again).  I only walked a little over a mile on the treadmill. Fitness gurus would say that that is nothing. I understand but it is better than nothing. Besides I want to speed up my metabolism. I figure exercising is the best way to go even if it isn’t much.

I guess my SAD hasn’t kicked in yet. Normally during this time of year, I would never voluntarily go to the gym. I’m just at my normal level of depression. I think it is because it isn’t that cold yet. It was 70 degrees recently!

“Business” – Ebay sent me an email saying they went over my site and wanted me as an affiliate. I had no idea they even had an affiliate program. So if you don’t hate me, please consider using my Ebay link (also on blogroll) when you shop there. I use ebay about 5 times a year. I buy 90% of my knitting needles from there. I also like using it for gifts. I’ve been using Ebay so long  that I have a common one word name with no numbers behind it. I used to do all my shopping there. I’ve sold stuff on there too.

Currently my favorite ebay store is Cherrysky90 (clothes, knit, crochet) but it really depends on what I’m interested in at the moment. Guilty Pleasure: I love buying jewelry on ebay. I don’t wear it as much anymore but when I did, I got a bunch of cheap nice looking stuff. 😉 Lots of compliments. If they only knew…

Pictures of STUFF time. I was a bad girl and brought knitting stuff. Stuff isn’t bad on it’s own. But I’m #1 having financial issues and #2 obviously using stuff to fill a void.

All of the yarn was on sale from Craftsy. I’m used to acrylic yarn for the most part so I’m very excited to add these skeins to my stash. I’ll start with my favorite:

Lorna's Laces  100% superwash merino
Lorna’s Laces 100% superwash merino

Isn’t that beautiful? It is called jeans and it is for a lace scarflette I plan to make. Hand dyed.

Cascade Heritage 75% merino 25%  nylon
Cascade Heritage 75% merino 25% nylon

I have no plans for the yarn above. I just brought it because I love purple.

Lorna's Laces 55% merino wool 15% nylon 30% viscose
Lorna’s Laces 55% merino wool 15% nylon 30% viscose

The yarn above is called “The L”. I brought it for a lace scarf. It is hard to make due to all the lace so I won’t be starting that project anytime soon.  Hand dyed yarn.

Rowan fine lace. 80% alpaca 20% fine merino wool
Rowan fine lace. 80% alpaca 20% fine merino wool

No plans for the above yarn.

Just for fun, here is a pic of my yarn stash:

messy messy
messy messy

I have 2  project bags on the way (more  STUFF). They seem to be stuck in Florida. Pics of those next week.

Weekly

Music for the week: Sharon Van Etten, Magic!, Lucy Hale, Mary J. Blige, FKA twigs, Tristan Prettyman, Ani DiFranco, Ariana Grande

I haven’t had much time to listen to the new Mary J album but so far I love it. No shock there. I’m a huge Mary J. fan.

TV for the week: Pretty Little Liars

I’m going to start a House of Cards marathon in January. See, I do have plans for the new year. 😉 Season 3 starts in February.

Movie of the week:  none

Books of the week: I have a hold for a library book I really want to read. Until then I’m just browsing various books like Knitting: Amazing Patterns that Everyone Can Knit by Kathy Wilson <– great patterns

Knitting projects of the week: More pics. I finished my final chunky garter scarf:

scarf
scarf

I got to the place in my afghan where I changed colors. This is my first time changing colors with knitting. I think I did okay. The back is very messy though.

afghan
afghan

Finally, here is a gauge swatch for my cardigan. Yes, the swatch is too small. I should have ripped it out and started a bigger one. Anyway, I wish I had stuck with my first color choice: brown. I think I’m sick of burgundy after doing the scarf. But oh well. It is my first sweater. It’ll be amazing if it comes out close to decent.

guage swatch for cardigan
gauge swatch for cardigan 20% wool 80% acrylic

Crochet projects of the week: none really. chains, chains, chains. I hope to have something here…in a month maybe.

I have to get ready for C to come over. C is a Jehovah Witness who swears she is not trying to convert me. She just wants to “tell me what the real truth is”. Her truth is what is in the Bible. Everything was fine until she dissed science. :/

Bethelehem

I now weigh 120lbs. I can’t believe it. How did I go from being borderline underweight 15 months ago to 120 pounds??! I freaked out when I saw that on the scale. Now I’m on a mission. NO MORE SWEETS! I stopped eating cookies and most things a while ago. But once a week or so I would eat a cupcake or my fave, red velvet cake. I can’t do that anymore. I’m trying to not freak out. 120lbs is not a lot (by any standard) but I have never weighed this much. I want to weigh 115 for as long as I can. OMG who freaks out over 5lbs? Um, ME.

I just did a 1/2 of mile on the treadmill. After work I plan on doing more. The worst thing about working at home is getting less exercise. At work I would run the stairs sometimes. I walked a lot etc. I’m going to get fit. Hopefully no more weight freak outs. Side note: When I have enough battery, I can watch TV shows on my Kindle Fire while working out. It is currently charging so no TV today. I love that it fits perfectly on the treadmill.

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I went to the christian concert with my coworker. Like most social things, it didn’t go well. It would not have been so bad if it weren’t 6 hours! By the 4 hour mark, I was bored and irritated. I wanted a nap. :/ I could not wait to get out of there. Um, I don’t think she will be asking me to go anywhere else. 😦 Of course, I thought that the last time she asked me to go somewhere. So who knows? I just hope I didn’t offend her in anyway. Oh well. If only it had been 2 hours instead.

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Every once in a while I go on Ebay and go nuts. Just nuts. It happened on Sunday morning. I brought 2 Bebe tops. I got them at a bargain, I think. When I went to Bebe in NYC* I brought a blouse for $50. I returned it the very next day (and my last day there).  What was I thinking? Anyhow, that was one of the lowest priced items. So I’m guessing these blouses retail at that price.

top/dress

Tiny pictures. 😉

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*Speaking of NYC I want to go back again. But the hotel prices are outrageous. Last time I went for two nights and I got a great deal at The Kimberly Hotel. It is right off of 5th Avenue. Now I can’t find any deals. So far I’m not doing anything for my summer vacation. heh. Well I am taking my mom to North Carolina during my vacay from work. But it is in the middle of nowhere. I have never been to North Carolina so I’m excited to go. I have to drive about 40 minutes from where we will be staying to get to Duke University. I really want to go there. I’m a big Duke basketball fan and the campus is gorgeous. But I want to go somewhere else too. Either the beach, NYC or maybe Atlantic City. I haven’t been to AC since I was a kid.

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Kindle Fire time!

I am now reading on my Fire just as much as I do on my KK! I love being able to read on both. I had to get the screen dimmer app to read on the Fire. Otherwise I would get a headache. I’m sort of loving playing Words with Friends but it is weird to play with strangers. Maybe it is just me. Someone said it perfectly when she said, “The Kindle is a great gateway to other tablets”. I agree. It is a good first device. It would be perfect if the battery life was at least 1-2 hours longer (with Wi-Fi on).

Well I have to go back to work. Lunch is over.

The War of My Life

I can’t win. I know that. There is no pleasing them. I can’t stand the taunts. It is constant. I’m always waiting for the next one. Always wondering, “When is it going to stop?” When do they get tired? Obviously they don’t know that I sit on the bed on Monday morning dreading having to be around them. THEY HAVE WON. You win. What more do they want? Me to commit suicide and leave their names in my death note? Cuz I will….

Anyhow, I just finished listing my Ebay items for the month. It took forever with my connection. I hope it is worth it.

My goals have changed a lot from my last entry. I’m NEVER doing over-time for them (long story). So I’ve got to make this school thing work somehow. I was feeling bad today because I know that getting a part-time job is not an option for me and it has nothing to do with the economy. Nothing. What kind of job can I do? No retail. No waitressing or bartending.

That is depressing.

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I went to the library and checked out some books…even fiction which I haven’t touched in about 6 months. I also checked out a book about suicide and Asperger’s. It’s funny. Shouldn’t people who think suicide is the most selfish thing be reading that book? And people who have no idea what Asperger’s is read that book. WHY AM I READING THESE BOOKS? Why don’t others want to become enlightened? I’ve read books on a lot of topics that I can’t relate to directly. I guess I’m just curious.

In my ideal world, all people would want to learn about others. Then maybe we wouldn’t judge each other so harshly.

Oh well. I had a different idea when I started this entry….

Sigh.

Farting in public

inside joke. haha. But it is also is about, “not being afraid to fart in public”. That was a useful quote from a self help book I read years ago. Don’t be scared to make a mistake. If you fart, so what? Move on. Which leads me to my worst nightmare….

Avon (local manager) wants me to CALL people. She is going to give me a list and a script. Bad timing. The universe is setting me up. I would never do any type of telemarketing as a job. #1 I wouldn’t produce so. #2 I’d be the most miserable person. I don’t do sales. I don’t like being pushy. And as far as Avon goes, what is in it for me? Yes, it could help or HURT my social anxiety. I’m not getting paid…not that that would make it any better. If someone wants to buy Avon (or whatever) do I get the sell (LOL) or is it just more free advertising for Avon??? I would rather volunteer at an animal or homeless shelter.

The only reason I’m even considering this is because I can do it away from the Avon office. Unfortunately it still involves people. 😦 Btw, I reread the email and these are people w/brochures. They probably already have reps so..oh well. No new customers for me, not that I feel like I can handle that. Dealing with the customers I have can be overwhelming. I can’t imagine dealing with more right now so that’s why I’m only dealing with current customers.

I’ve done a lot of advertising for Avon and what have I got from it? Not much. The company benefited for sure. I made ads using their products and placing them everywhere. Etc. Etc. I’m done with that for now. Now (due to circumstances), I’m working overtime tomorrow (universe willing). I’m selling stuff on Ebay. I have to ship all the packages tomorrow.

::sigh:: And I’m still a lil’ depressed. That’s why I’d decided to make myself do OT despite knowing certain people will be there. Last weekend I stayed in bed. This Saturday the plan was healthy breakfast, go to the library (and actually hangout and browse magazines instead of checking out and running) & then work for 3+ hours. Well, I’m still doing all that but now I have to run around town to do an errand w/my mom after work.

And where does Avon fit in?? Ebay and overtime is keeping me busy. So much for going to see a movie. Should I do it @ work in a private place where I feel comfortable? I don’t feel comfortable making calls from home. (You don’t want to know). I’ll be using my cell…and all of the calls will be local.

I’m not going to say no to Avon because Avon was supposed to help with my anxiety so I’m saying “yes”. Feel the fear & do it anyway, right?

overwhelmed. I will consider it a miracle if I’m out the house by 11AM. So is over doing it (or trying to) a way to combat depression. Or will I collapse?

my life in may of 2006

I finally found my old paper journals! Reading and typing this stuff is weird but in case I lose my journals again…Oh, how I wish I could find my journals from high school. To read future “paper journals” entries, click on the “Paper thoughts”. I’m not changing anything except for some things for anonymity purposes of course.

May 20, 2006 10:19 AM

Not ready to make nice. Forgive sounds good. Forget? I’m not sure I could. I love the new Mary J. Blige record. Ah, I need a miracle. A miracle of miracles. Please let remeron work. I want that to be a solution as silly as that may sound. I’m willing to ask for this miracle. And please no weight gain!!! Seriously. And I must do well at work. Of course. out for now.

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May 22, 2006

Groan. My tummy hurts. I’m glad I have this journal. Demi. Does she hate me or what? No happy birthday and no response when I signed her guestbook. Grr. Well I don’t know what I did. The story of my life. People can find so many ways to be offended. I give up. How long will it take her to say something? I just hate knowing that she is displease with me for some reason. Sigh.

I need to sell stuff on Ebay. Next Saturday would be a good day to mail stuff. Hmm. I just need to do it. Sell, sell, sell. Make extra money. I have no motivation – fuck. I do have motivation to do the something I enjoy that makes money. I have no desire to struggle with some lame business.

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May 28, 2006

Symptoms: a little dry mouth, dizziness and muscle aches. I hope that is all. For record purposes, I started with half a pill on May 25 and a whole one on May 27.

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May 29, 2006

Oh Demi, WTF is wrong with you? Probably nothing. It is all me. I need to work through this. You are nothing to me. My life doesn’t revolve around your thoughts. I do feel embarrassed (ego) by having an interest in you. Your opinion should mean nada to me. SHOULD. What happens if you stop ready my journal? Truth: I will probably take it down. I know why you are in my life. When I work through those issues, will you leave. I have to pretend you don’t exist OR admit your existence but don’t get caught up in your opinions.

I can run but I can’t hide.