Slow Burn

It’s almost noon on Sunday. I’ve been working all morning. What else is new? I usually like to blog on Sunday mornings, but I had a project I wanted to finish. 

The business has been kind of slow. But it’s only January! I wanted to make $10K this year. In 2021, I made about $8,300. Not bad for doing this part-time, but I was always working. Hmmm. I am redoing my website and still trying to figure out how I want to make money. 

Do I want to concentrate on services like I did in 2021 or create more digital products? Digital products seem like a little less work, but the cost of the products are lower, and I feel like I have to market more. Guess who hates to market themselves? I don’t mind some things, but anything involving being or talking or video makes me uncomfortable.

Speaking of that…someone asked me to do a class for their membership! I said I was shy and blah, blah. Then they responded that the course could be taped. So now, I think I’m saying YES. I’m still not 100% sure. I don’t know my rate. I have made an online course before (talk about long hours!), but I’ve never done a one-off class. I should do this. It would be for great marketing. And it might help my social skills, but I don’t know about that. That would be a miracle. 

I will probably charge between $75 and $125. I still have to do research. I know experts charge at least $400 an hour. But I don’t know how long it will take me to prepare, tape the class, etc. So it’s hard to come up with a rate if you’ve never done it before. I hope I can get at least $75. 

Anyway, people still suck. It’s great when I can just listen to music or walk my dog and ignore that people exist. I love that! I did like talking to a few business owners on social media yesterday. Usually, I don’t get involved in conversations. 

I emailed animal control on my neighbors. Sorry for the abrupt transition. I’m rushing now. It’s a long story. I don’t like when their pitbull comes into my yard. I didn’t get my medicine two weeks ago because the pit bull was in or near my yard. MY MEDICINE. Some people don’t think that’s a big deal, but do you know how often mail is lost?? So they tried to deliver it right the first time and then have to do it a second time? WTF? 

Keep your damn dog in the house. They usually have him tied outback. According to my landlord, it’s illegal to have a dog (or any animal???) outside when it’s under 35 degrees. Unfortunately, it’s been under 35 at night for about 2 to 3 weeks. So what they do is bring him in and then let him loose about five times a day. I can’t make this up.

I’m not scared of him. He’s friendly. However, I don’t like that he defecates in the yard. I hate that shit. The point is this particular mail carrier (I think he’s new) doesn’t want to deliver mail when he sees a pit bull. 

It’s not just about mail. I was so scared FedEx wouldn’t deliver this laptop because of the dog. And next week, I have my groceries* coming on Tuesday at 9 AM. I do have a Blink camera. Walmart is known for coming early. So I will have to keep checking the camera, or maybe they have an app that will tell me? I have never had food delivered from Walmart before.

I did leave a note about ‘a loose dog’ I told the driver that if you see a loose dog, please call or text me and I will put a mask on and get my groceries. 

Another bad thing about a loose dog is that they could EAT your groceries. What a nightmare. This isn’t the greatest neighborhood, but I have left a package outside for an hour, and no one took it. One package was the Blink Camera. I may do a review of that later. 

*About the groceries. My fridge is empty. My dog ate one of my chicken thighs. He stole it from the bottom of the refrigerator. I could cook more thighs, but no, I’m gonna bitch about it. 

I can’t wait to get my food on Tuesday. I could have picked Monday, but I thought the store might be empty after the weekend. I guess I will have a better chance of getting my food if I choose later on in the week. I’m probably not going to make this a habit. My job is paying for some of the food. (Long story – Instead of giving us more money, they gave us a food card for healthy food only. I can only eat about 12 foods, so I can’t eat only healthy foods. I would die. But thanks!) 

Oh, and I might get fired soon. So I might not get the autism assessment in March. It’s not important enough for me to pay out of pocket. It’s not cheap. 

I might apply for another job by the end of the week. It’s at the same company I work at now. I’m only doing this because there would be no benefit disruption. Anyway, I hate this job, and I hate these people. Well, I like two people. I would probably like more if I knew them. They work from home in Florida. I didn’t hate the managers or supervisors for many years at this company. It all started when they forced me to go to a new department in 2020. 

Work is the main reason I’m so stressed out right now. I am only content when I’m walking my dog and most of the weekend. I was supposed to do overtime this weekend. It wasn’t mandatory. Whatever. I feel like everything I’m doing is a waste of time. They are paying me for now, so I will work until they fire me.

I was planning on leaving the company in 2023. I forgot what month makes sense, but I kind of need to stay there for over a year and a half. 

I will get unemployment for a little while if they fire me. I want disability because I am disabled. Try getting a job with social anxiety and call me back. Right now, I’m dealing with anxiety, depression, ADHD, and/or autism. Gastroparesis is not a significant issue right now. When I get stressed at work, I can’t eat. And sometimes, nausea comes back. But it’s not a real flare-up. 

It’s 12:30. We usually have lunch around 11:45 or noon. My dog will kill me or steal some nonexistent food from my fridge. So I have to go. 

I just took my dog outside. Guess who’s in the yard. The pit bull! URGH. Oops. It was the rottweiler. Not the pit bull. I never got a response from animal control, but I find it strange that a random guy starts bringing his rottweiler around when I’m outside the day after I email animal control. I take my dog outside around the same time every day. Anyway, I think it’s funny that my dog is considered the aggressive one out of a rottweiler and a pit bull. Btw, my dog is a corgi mix. I only say he is aggressive because he is the only dog barking and wanting to attack. LOL.

People suck. I love animals. Just don’t shit in my yard. 

This Week I…

Music of the week: Alanis Morissette, Ellie Goulding, Patty Griffin, Sara Bareilles, Kelly Clarkson, Tracy Chapman, Jewel, India.Arie

TV of the Week:  Amazing Race, Housewives, Vanderpump Rules

Podcasts of the Week: The Vanished, Crimelines, Generation Why, 

Books of the Week: I’m going to try to finish Dopamine Nation by Anna Lembke this week. It’s okay so far. I started a book by Stephen King. I can’t remember the name. It was okay, but I could tell I wouldn’t love it, so I gave up about 20% in. King’s book are so long. 

Goal for Next Week:  Sigh. I will commit to trying my best at work. But it is incredibly frustrating to work hard, and it is not good enough. I’m at the why bother stage. Trying hard and failing every day sucks.

I need to market my biz. I need to come up with my main service. I think I’m going to lower the price of my 6-month service. And I will not think of digital products for this week. I need to concentrate on one thing at a time.

As far as my book goes, I’m editing chapter 2. I will probably give that away free within two weeks and no more free chapters since I’ve decided to do the book in a personal essay format. I will offer free content, just not whole chapters. 

Oh, and I have to sell my Samsung Book Go on eBay. The weather is going to be okay for the next ten days, but I have to download the files I want. It’s not a lot. Then I guess I do a factory reset? I have never sold a laptop before. I’ll have to read about how to do that. First, I need packaging tape. I have no tape of any kind in this house. I would love to have the laptop sold before Feb. 1, but I have to list it on eBay first!

Weekend Plans: The weekend is almost over, and I have 800 things to do. So I won’t get overwhelmed, I will make my to-do list in my planner for the week. Unfortunately, I will still probably get overwhelmed. Too much. Too much. 

Thanks for reading! Have a great week. 

Memories Fade Away

I don’t have time to do a normal entry. I’m not even editing this until after I move. I move on Sunday. I will probably have internet by Monday evening.

I’m going to post a few pics from my beach trip. It was nice, but I’m learning that breaks don’t really help when you are in a high stress environment. Here I am back to working 60 to 65 hours a week. Same old.

My dog was well behaved. I hope he is well behaved in the new house!

dog near the beach. Lots of grass.
The beach was closed this day. It was rainy and windy. Some of the roads flooded. It is scary to have a beach house. How do people deal with it during hurricane season?
This was before the flooding. When the water was high, the pier was covered and there was no walking here.
bedroom with a ceiling fan.
Where I spent the most time – the bedroom.
Loved it out here. Great view.
The beach
Beach was closed. My dog doesn’t love the beach like me, so he was fine. He loves the park.

He’s not sleeping. Just blinking. He hates when I take his picture!

I wish I had more time. But I really didn’t have time to post this. I’ll be back after I move.


Thanks for reading. Bye!

So Lost Sometimes

Countdown:

4 days until my vacay

17 days until I move

I’m so tired. I think I’m on my third week of working 70 hours a week. For this week, it’s either work now or work on my vacation. I didn’t tell any of my clients I am going out of town. So, it’s my fault if they ask me to do something. I hope they don’t need anything extra from me. I’m only gone for about three and a half days.

I’M MOVING!!!

Unbelievable, right? I finally found a house. I will sign the lease tomorrow. I’m not moving until November 6 or 8. I told her the 8th, but now I think it’s best to move on a Saturday. I want to move around Thanksgiving, but she doesn’t want her house vacant for a long time.

P.S. I would not be going out of town if I knew I was going to be moving. I would rather save that time off for the move, but I didn’t think I would find a house to rent. Unfortunately, it’s too late to get my money back, so I’m leaving on Wednesday and will be back on Saturday.

The house is 40 minutes from where I live now. It’s a different city. I worked there as a temp there years ago, but I’ve never lived there.

She said no to me at first. I think I was her second choice. She said yes to someone else, but that fell through, and then she emailed me. She had 80 applicants! Coming in second isn’t bad. She doesn’t understand why I want to leave the bigger city to move to their small city.

AND my dog is an issue only because the next-door neighbor has two dogs. One is an unleashed yorkie. The other is a leashed pit bull in the backyard. My dog doesn’t like other dogs. He gets annoyed with them pretty quickly, so the yorkie will be interesting.

I’m worried about the pit bull because I like to take my dog outback. Will his dog bark the whole time? If so, my dog will bark. How will he use the bathroom? Will the yorkie constantly run in my yard every time I go outside? My dog will not do well with this. I’ll see what happens. I might have to sneak out the front. There are more people around the front, so I would rather go out back where only one person can see me.

The house is so tiny! But it’s just my dog and me. I chose not to pay the extra $50 a month for a washer and dryer. I wanted it, but it doesn’t make sense to spend that money when I could buy my own washer one day. And the landlord said she was going to buy a cheap washer and dryer. LOL. Thanks for telling me the truth. I do like her.

I can’t remember if there are closets. If not, this will be the second place I have rented without closets. I’m going to ask her tomorrow when I sign the lease. I’m not sure if the house will be empty when I go there tomorrow. I would love to see it one more time.

The only furniture I have is an old desk and my bed. Nothing will be in the living room. I’m calling it my yoga studio for now. Why not? I don’t see the point in living room furniture if I’m never going to be in there—what a waste of money.

What else? No AC. I will buy probably two window units. I think the previous tenant only had one unit. The place is small, but I’m surprised one AC cools the whole home. And no shed for the lawnmower. I will have to get one I can tie to the back porch. I might hire someone to mow the lawn for the first few months. It depends. I shouldn’t have to think about the lawn until March or April. Hopefully.

I could go on. But I’ll share a few pics. The place is pretty basic. LOL. So not much to show. There are two small bedrooms (one will be an office for me). The bathroom and kitchen are small. I’m glad I don’t cook.

Front of the house. The front yard is small. Yay.
The kitchen. I like the black. No space to really cook, though.

The living room AKA my yoga studio

One of the bedrooms. The bedrooms look identical. Nothing special. Small.

I might share more pics after I move in, but I’m too scared to spend money on making it look nice. I’m only spending on organization stuff.

More later.

This Week I…

Music of the week: Adele, Boyce Avenue, Lorde, Ellie Goulding, Mariah Carey, Kelly Clarkson, Lindsay Lohan, Taylor Swift

TV of the Week:  Survivor, Housewives, Only Murders in the Building

I don’t know what kind of TV I will have access to when I move. I will keep Hulu. I will probably have Netflix. I won’t have cable. So I might add $10 more worth of streaming services. I would like to be able to watch Survivor. It isn’t my favorite show, but I like it. I only watch TV when I eat. I watch one hour a day on most days.

Podcasts of the Week: Dateline, Truth and Justice, True Crime Garage, Court Junkie, The Vanished, Your Permission Prescription, Undisclosed, Southlake, Crimelines

Books of the Week:

I finished I Alone Can Fix It: Donald J. Trump’s Catastrophic Final Year by Carol Leonnig and Philip Rucker ★★★★ Long book. The most informative part was the section on COVID. The rest was okay. It was hard keeping up with some of the names of the people in Trump’s organization. I don’t really care about most of these people. So maybe 3 and a half stars.

Goal for Next Week: Survive until my vacation. And then enjoy my time off. I want to use that time to plan for the beginning of 2022.

Weekend Plans: So far today (Saturday), I’ve worked and had therapy. Blogging is my break. I’m going back to work for a couple of hours after I post this. Tomorrow I’m working my day job for 5 hours and signing the lease. I also have to pay the deposit and pet fee tomorrow.

Thanks for reading. Have a great week! 🥰 

Had a great bday vacay

Here are a few pics:

The beach AKA The Potomac River
My dog on the porch at the cabin

The outside of the cabin

Some of the steps we had to climb to get from the beach to the cabin. We were hiking! My body ached, but it was a good time.

Thanks for looking. Have a great week! 🙂

Been looking behind, bridge burned

It’s so fucking hot! I’m in the attic, and I have no AC. It’s about 120 degrees in here. It’s only 99 degrees outside. FUCK. That’s all I got. The main problem is when I get heat exhaustion, and I have to work, but my brain isn’t there, so I can’t work. I HATE THAT.

What else? Oh, I went back to the doctor. She has no answers as to why I’m so tired. She didn’t even mention chronic fatigue syndrome, which is a thing. Anyway, she referred me to a sleep specialist. I might go one day next week. I already contacted them and told them I wanted an appointment.

Guess what? She thinks it might be sleep apnea! Even though I weigh 135 pounds and am otherwise healthy. Yes, it is possible, but I think that’s a stretch. I don’t know whether I snore. Anyways, if I can take the test at home, I’ll do it. I’d rather not stay overnight at the sleep center and leave my dog alone. But if I do the test at the center, I would have AC. 😉

Not much going on. I have work stress and heat stress.

I was off on Thursday and Friday. I took my dog to a mostly empty park:

Politics/Current Events 2020: I don’t have much to say here either. I’m saddened by John Lewis’ death. He was just walking around in DC around June 10th. What else? The United States is a capitalistic shit of a country. That was known before COVID, but now it is so apparent.

This week I…

Music of the week: Ellie Goulding, Mariah Carey, Coldplay, Stacie Orrico, The Chicks, Rachel Platten, Robyn, Beyonce

TV of the week:  Unsolved Mysteries

Podcasts of the week:  Truth & Justice, Dateline, Someone Knows Something, So You Wanna Be a Witch, Serve Scale Soar, Abraham Hicks, Sword & Scale

Books of the week: Untamed by Glennon Doyle

Weekend Plans: Today is Sunday. All I’ve done is work. I have at least one more thing to do for a client today. So I’m going to do that before my brain turns to mush tonight.

Have a lovely week! Thanks for reading.

Remove All the Thoughts

I had two days off from my full-time job. So needed! My next day off is Super Tuesday (March 3). Not too bad. Today I took my dog to the park despite it only being 38 degrees.

corgi mix

Here is my dog being a typical pup:

I hope I get to stay in all weekend, but I never know when other people have plans with MY time.

The local virtual assistant job is over. Thank god. I don’t think I will be taking a local PT job for a while. I only want 100% remote. The other VA job is going okay. The only part that sucks is that she wants me to cold call places. BTW, that is not a typical VA task, plus she didn’t advertise it. I wouldn’t have applied if she mentioned that. I have social anxiety online. I DON’T DO PHONE CALLS…especially calling random people. Hell, no.

So I don’t know what’s going to happen with this position. She isn’t paying, but I’m getting GOOD coaching from her. She deserves work from me. I’m working on the other tasks, it’s just the calling that leaves me anxious and unable to act.

Praying for a miracle.

Election 2020: So many people (19 million) watched the debate this week. They got to see how much Bloomberg sucks, and how Warren can eviscerate anyone. Bernie did well or okay. He wasn’t attacked too much. Amy and Bloomberg had bad nights. Pete was Pete. Biden kind of had more energy, but he wasn’t 100% clear. Biden is doing better in debates than he did 3 months ago.

Warren raised a ton of money after the debate. Bloomberg fell in the polls (YAY!). But there is another debate for South Carolina. I expect Bloomberg to be a little better. To be fair, this was his first time on a presidential debate stage. But he is still a racist, sexist fuck. 😉 He funds some Democratic things like climate change. But he was a Republican. He supported George W. Bush. He’s a conservative, and I don’t vote for conservatives just because they throw their money at a few progressive issues.

I’m voting for Warren on Super Tuesday. I was going to vote for Sanders, but I have a tradition of always voting for my FIRST CHOICE in the primary. I voted for Howard Dean in the primary, even though he had no shot of winning. Sanders is my 2nd choice. I’m going to try not to vote for Sanders. That would be a strategic vote. I want to vote with my heart because, unlike Bloomberg, I have one. #Dig

This week I…

Music of the week: Nina Simone, Taylor Swift, Joni Mitchell, Maggie Rogers, Miranda Lambert, Tori Kelly, Alessia Cara, Ariana Grande

I need to listen to more Nina Simone. I took a 2-year break for some reason.

TV of the week:  Survivor, Vanderpump Rules, I Am a Killer, The Mind of Aaron Hernandez

I resubscribed to Netflix because I can afford it for now. I’m on the cheapest plan. No HD.

Podcasts of the week:  Crimelines, Dateline, True Crime Garage,  Pod Save America, So You Wanna Be a Witch

Books of the week:

Weekend Plans: Hopefully relaxing a little and working on virtual assistant stuff. I have a website for my VA services now. I need more examples of my work. I really need to figure out what I want to focus on. I thought it was going to be Podcast management, but I did a little of that and I was bored. Plus, it’s hard. LOL. I might focus on Pinterest since everyone wants a Pinterest manager. I got Pinterest to work for MY website, but I’ve never done it for anyone else.

Thanks for reading! Have a great week. 🙂

I’m not crazy or anything

Since I’m not going back to the park until March, I thought I would share some pics from our (my dog and me) recent visits to the park:

IMG_20191120_104731890_HDRIMG_20191120_105611818_HDRIMG_20191120_105441653_HDR

I usually only post pics to Insta. I keep forgetting to post them here. And here is one video of my dog running on the soccer field, which is probably illegal. 😉

So much is going on. I don’t know where to start. Blah. I’m mostly working on my online biz. I’m 100% committed to that for having a part-time income. I probably need to focus on one thing at a time. I have so many ideas. I’m definitely what people call a visionary. I hate details, but I can see the big picture.

Anyway, sigh. I think I’ll post some “private” entries soon. I feel all over the place. I don’t know what to say right now. Oh, my dad is coming back to living with us. He should be here soon. He was overseas. He doesn’t understand boundaries. NO, I’m not taking you anywhere during the week after I’ve worked and then I still have to work on my online biz for at least 3 hours a day.

This week I…

Music of the week: Ellie Goulding, James Arthur, Miranda Lambert, Andra Day, Ashley McBryde, Beyonce, Bryn Cartelli, Caitlyn Smith

TV of the week:  Survivor, RHoP

Podcasts of the week: Don’t Talk to Strangers, So You Wanna Be a Witch, Crimelines, Why is This Happening, Mental Illness Happy Hour

Books of the week: I finished reading Her One Mistake by Heidi Parks. The ending wasn’t great. I predicted what would happen too early. But it’s still okay if you like thrillers or Big Little Lies.

Now reading –

Weekend Plans: I really am enjoying having four days off! My next days off are at the end of December. I have 3 days off then. I’m nervous about my dad coming back. Then I have to have my dog upstairs at all times. :/ I don’t mind him, of course. But I feel bad my dog has to be stuck with me. That’s not fair to anyone.

I might be back mid-week with “private” entries. I have to clean up those entries before I post. I use names too much.

Thanks for reading! Have a good weekend and week. 🙂

I’m a lone ranger

I’m definitely going to have to delete the videos on this post one day. Some of the files are huge. But they are here for now. Please enjoy!

I’m back from my birthday vacay. I came back yesterday, and I was exhausted. I meant to blog yesterday. I had some clarity on what I want to do professionally. I realized that my mom and I so don’t get along. LOL. Usually, we have a suite, so we don’t have to be together so much. But due to my dog, I couldn’t afford the suite. We got a nice room with two beds instead. Anyway, I also learned that my dog can’t go to the beach anymore. :/ That sucks! However, we are going to the state park to stay in a cabin next year, so I’m not too worried. But I don’t want to leave him at the vet, and I can’t take him to the beach.

Dog with an attitude

My dog is extremely protective. I guess he is a guard/watch dog. He barked at people and dogs. Not all people. But too many people. The beach is supposed to be relaxing, I don’t want to interrupt people’s trip with my dog. I enjoyed the trip, but I can’t in good faith keep taking him to the beach. He barks too much!

I’m probably going to blog more about some things. Not sure. A good trip overall, but I can’t wait until next year’s vacation when I will have my own room in a cabin. 🙂 Another thing is where we stayed, there were people with timeshares who were clearly annoyed with my dog. My dog only barked when he heard a loud noise, so he didn’t bark that much in the hotel. Thank god. But I can tell some people were still annoyed. I couldn’t sit on the balcony after 2PM for long periods because the “neighbors” were out there. We did enjoy mornings on the balcony.

Hotel room. Sorry for the dizzy video. LOL.
My best friend on the balcony

I have decided to create an astrology course. I’m doing an astrology 101 course. The difference between my class and others will be the cost. It will be worth about $300, but I will charge between $29 to $97. I want to offer a sliding scale or “pay what you can.” I may do that. I guess I can give people coupon codes. I hope people that can afford it will pay $97. I know some people won’t, of course. But some honest people will pay full price.

I want astrology to be affordable. Astrology courses are so expensive. Yes, there is a lot of FREE content out there, but it requires a lot of work to put it all together. I’m going to do that for people. That is why people pay for courses. They want it organized. Everyone doesn’t have the extra time to explore the internet. There is too much free stuff. How do people choose?

I just paid for the platform today, so I’m all in. If I change my mind, I can cancel at any time. There’s an exciting, but overwhelming challenge to complete a course in 90 days!! The challenge starts on June 1. Okay, I could do some courses in 90 days…not sure about astrology. I can do a mini-course, but not a full course. I would charge $19 for a mini-course, btw or should it be free since I’ve never done a class before? Anyhow, I’m working on my outline. I have a binder just for notes on this course. I have limited my resources to four books because there are so many astrology resources. I have picked what I think are the best sources. I’m already worried about creating an intermediate course when no one has bought the first course!

Anyway, I’m so excited about creating this course. It will be a lot of work. How do I maintain my website/business, work overtime, complete the online courses I’m taking, and create a course? Makes me want to scream. However, overtime won’t last forever. And the classes will end. I have to manage my time better.

People say not to create a course until people pay for it!! ROFL. People actually do that. Those are people who work well under pressure. That’s not me. I’m a Taurus. We don’t like pressure. 😉 If no one buys, I’m having fun. If I hate it, I’m going to quit. It’s that simple. Besides, I believe no one may buy when I first launch, but 2 years from now, people may buy it. Astrology doesn’t change. So I’m all good.

So much to say, but I want to get this blog post out.

This week I…

Music of the week: Keyshia Cole, Jussie Smollett, First Aid Kit, Coldplay, Lissie, Ariana Grande, Christina Aguilera, Dave Matthews Band

TV of the week:  NBA Playoffs, Survivor

Podcasts of the week:  Tarot For The Wild Soul, True Crime Garage, Pod SaveAmerica

Books of the week: Now reading – 

Weekend Plans: Well, today is Saturday. It’s almost 8PM. I’m going to see about transcendental meditation tomorrow. It’s a free 90-minute meeting. I will tell everything on this blog, once I complete my sessions. People are so secretive about it. Well, if the teacher says not to tell people, I will respect that. I can’t afford the full price, but they are supposed to offer a sliding scale. If a sliding scale isn’t provided, I’m not signing up because it is out of my price range.

I made the burger from Hello Fresh. OMG, I fucked up the broccoli. I used too much oil. LOL. I can’t cook. If I’m not too tired tomorrow, I will make the meatloaf, potatoes and green beans tomorrow. Btw, I still ate the broccoli.

I have to go. I have homework for my tarot course to complete. Bye! Thanks so much for reading. Have a great week. 🙂

I do my own flavor

COUNTDOWN: 3 days until my birthday beach vacation!!

But first, I have so many people I want to go off on. FUCKING JERKS. I’ll be over this in an hour or less. When someone helps you and they show no concern when you have a problem…what a bitch! Bitch is too nice of a word, but it seems appropriate in this case. Sigh. Don’t respond “OK” to a text message, bitch when someone specifically asks for help. I never wanted to call someone the C word before, but that’s how I feel about her right now. Vile, disgusting prick. What a &^%. No wonder you are where you are. I totally get it now.

I was so angry when I first type the above paragraph. But I tapped on it. I never use EFT on anger, because I’m rarely that angry. It worked. I might tap on it again before I go to bed though. I want a clear mind.

Number 2 pales so much in comparison. It’s just a pet peeve. Stop with this, “Spending $5.00 on a cup of coffee a day BS”. People in my family – I can give names and addresses if you like – can’t afford to buy coffee from Starbucks every day. That whole stereotype is reserved for middle-class people who call themselves poor. SO annoying and insulting to poor people in America. Some poor people live in houses, some are homeless. Do middle-class people even know this? They act like no one is REALLY broke. Just because all the people in your nondiverse friend group can afford coffee, doesn’t mean everyone can.

And some people go around saying “I grew up poor” and then you find out both of their parents had decent jobs. No, they weren’t rich, but they had a household income of at least $60,000 a year. That’s not poor. I don’t care if you grew up in San Fran. HAHA. I grew up poor for 10 years of my childhood. I can tell you what poor is. My mom and her 7 siblings slept in a car (not their whole childhood), they can tell you what poor REALLY is. Stop lying. Stop pretending. Stop romanticizing being poor. You didn’t grow up poor. You don’t have any poor friends. That’s why you think EVERYONE can afford a $5 cup of coffee.

/end rant

Look at how different things would be if Stacey Abrams had won in Georgia. No heartbeat abortion bill. But voting doesn’t matter. :/ Anyway, she should run for president. I’ve studied her. I know her record. Someone called her unremarkable. LOL. Do they know what she’s accomplished? She couldn’t do much with all the Republicans in Georgia, but she has a decent resume. Obviously, I want to vote for her. I read about 6 weeks ago that she was going to make a decision in September. Um, nope! She has to be at the debate in June. I know she does her own thing, but I hope she doesn’t wait.

I don’t know what happened with Sandra Bland. Only a few people really know. I was always 50/50 on whether she committed suicide. People are always saying things like, “She had no reason to kill herself. She had a new job”. Or the person was a happy person. He/she would never kill herself. I get why the family and friends would say that. But people (especially strangers) that say things like that clearly know nothing about suicide. Only a low percentage of suicidal people tell people. Was she depressed and being wrongly held in jail the last straw? It’s possible.

I’ve read a lot of books on cops doing bad things. I haven’t trusted the police or prosecutors Kamala Harris since I started following the legal system. Yes, I do believe the officer (officers?) could have killed her. How sad. It’s sad either way. The family took a 2 million dollar settlement so some things might can’t be legally looked into. I don’t blame the family for taking the settlement. I would have too because how many times do cops get punished?

Weird transition. Um, my beach trip? The weather is supposed to be beautiful. No rain and 80 degrees. Not too hot. Yay. I’m worried about my dog though. It’s a large hotel with about 14 floors. We have a balcony. I usually spend my time when not on the beach on the balcony, but what happens if he hears a dog bark? The horror. He will go off. I’m hoping there aren’t a lot of dogs there. Will he behave on the balcony? I will have him on a leash while he is on the balcony. We have to take the elevator unless we are on one of the lower levels. My dog might go insane. He might bark at strangers…on a tiny elevator. F^5$#.

Speaking of my dog. He is definitely loyal. On Tuesday, two people were walking as my dog, and I were trying to get back home from our daily lunch walk. The guy started talking about my “long legs.” FUCK YOU. No, I didn’t say that. I don’t call people trash. I don’t even think about calling people trash, but now I believe that people that “street harass” people are pretty much trash. Oh, what did my dog do? He went nuts after they kept on talking. LOL. He started barking at them (a man and a woman) and running towards them! Then the guy said something about my dog acting crazy or something.

Yes, I do have long legs. I’m 5’6″ with extremely long legs. Haha. Teachers would tell me that I should be a model! Yes, teachers. You know kids would never say something that could be perceived as friendly. Not that I want to be a model. I think fame sucks in general, but I have always felt worse for the models. Long story. Anyway, I don’t appreciate being talked about. TRASH. Like I said on twitter, no touching, no talking, no whistling, etc. What type of people talk about other people’s bodies within hearing distance? TRASH. People not worth my time.

Election 2020: Wow, Marianne has enough people to support her to participate in the debate. The CNN townhall really helped her. BUT they are going to keep changing the rules because 20+ people are running. So Marianne still might not make it. She’s going to be in DC this weekend. I was going to go, but I have to get ready for my trip. I’ve already seen her live once. And I got a picture with her, and she signed my book! Totally rad. 🙂

Re: Stacey Abrams again. It probably would be better if she and others ran for the Senate. She has a better chance of winning the Senate than winning the presidency. What if all these peeps running for president totally fuck up the Senate? Not that the Dems will take over the Senate anyway. But now they will probably have no chance. Bummer. :/

I’m still watching hardly any news, but I did see an hour or two earlier this week and, all they talked about was how Pete Buttigieg is having a hard time connecting with blacks. I read he was begging the white audience in South Carolina to bring black people. If the majority of blacks are in bed with Biden (HOPE NOT), then everyone else will have a hard time. I read one poll that said older black women really like Biden. That’s all I know. The black women on Twitter know better though. LOL. I’ve been reading some of those tweets and loving them. 😉

This week I…

Music of the week: Tori Kelly, Marren Morris, Aretha Franklin, Ariana Grande, Maggie Rogers, Kesha, Rachel Platten, Kesha

TV of the week:  NBA Playoffs, How to Get Away With Murder, Vanderpump Rules

I’m watching the Rockets vs. Warriors. I feel bad rooting for the Warriors because I almost always root for the underdog. I don’t like either team. I don’t hate them either so…whatevs? If the Rockets win, they’ll be a game 7. So I guess I’m rooting for the Rockets tonight. I can’t wait until my teams do well enough to get to the playoffs (Lakers and Wizards).

Movie of the week: Knock Down the House. It’s a political documentary. It features Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and 2-3 other women running for the House. It was good. I recommend it to news junkies and recovering news junkies like myself. The way people talked about it, I thought it was only about AOC.

Podcasts of the week:  Pod Save America, True Crime Garage, Fresh Air, The Lowe Post

Books of the week: Now reading – 

Weekend Plans: I got my Hello Fresh meals. I will probably cook the burgers and broccoli this weekend. I might cook the meatloaf and take it with me on the trip. Not sure. I’m working tomorrow and then I have a Skype meeting with S for a tarot class. I guess I should prepare for that tonight. Feeling a little overwhelmed with all I have to do. But I have 75% of my stuff packed.

What else? I’m getting my oil changed on Monday. Then I’m supposed to have a 2-3 hour (!!!) astrology reading, but I haven’t heard back from him in 3 weeks. I’ll email him tonight. I have no idea how organized he is. He seems so laid back. I was shocked to find out he is an Aries. He seems like a Pisces. After the reading, I’m taking my mom out to eat for Mother’s Day. Between my birthday and that, I might gain 3 pounds. I hope not. :/

Thanks for reading. I always feel like I’m leaving a bunch out. LOL. I just had therapy and I can’t even mention it due to the length of this post. I know my entries are long. Maybe I will blog twice a week? Not sure. I know I won’t commit to it. I might do a short blog during my vacation. Anyway, have a great weekend. And enjoy my birthday. ROFL. 🙂 🙂