I’ll be fine

Hallelujah! I’m off from my full-time job all next week. Party time! 🙂 Yes, I still have part-time work and school work, but I will have more time to focus on those things. YAY!

People would often allude to horrible things about Harvey Weinstein. I wanted it to be his personality. A lot of people in Hollywood are difficult. But sexual harassment? Too bad. He does good work for social causes PLUS I love his movies. I guess I shouldn’t watch his movies anymore. Sigh. Almost all the movies I would even consider watching are Weinstein movies, so that leaves me with nothing. So far, I haven’t read the NY Times piece because I know it would disgust me further. All I need to know is that he has sexually harassed many women. Got it. I will probably read the article over the weekend.

And WTF was Cam Newton thinking laughing at a female reporter’s question? Dannon dropped him, and I’m not surprised. Who mostly buys yogurt? WOMEN. Geez.

Enough about everything else, let’s talk about me. 😉 Um. Someone is trying to harass me. I don’t feel harassed, but I believe that is his intention. I don’t want to call him a neighbor. People use that term loosely. Too me a neighbor lives very close. He lives more than 120 yards from me. That’s bigger than a football field. I consider him a person that lives in the neighborhood but not a neighbor.

Anyway, he has been following me to the park on his moped, or whatever that thing is. And one day last week he parked his moped in front of my house when he knew I was walking back from the park. On Tuesday, he was on his way home in his truck as I was walking to the park with my dog. He saw me, went home, changed clothes and got on his moped, and we were on the same pathway at the park. He is basically stalking me.

I don’t like it and I do kind of feel stalked. I don’t believe he would do anything to hurt me (like kill or rape me). I don’t want to change my schedule because my park schedule works with my work and my dog. I like him to go to the park in the afternoon to relieve himself. I could do a quick walk at lunchtime, but that would be very rushed. However, I am considering doing that on some days.

I am very thankful to be off from work next week because now I can change up my schedule a lot. I can walk my dog after lunch with no rush. I can walk him at 10 AM if I want. We can explore the park. I assume Mr. Stalker won’t be there because he won’t see me going to the park. I’m glad he can’t see when I leave. That would bother me much more. He can only see me when he happens to be driving home when I’m walking to the park.

I haven’t done anything to this man. My mom’s scared he is going to do something to me. I had to tell her just in case something does happen even though I’m 99% sure nothing will.

I found out one of my high school classmates passed away in April. 😦 He was an army vet. I would think about him all the time, so I was shocked to hear his name on the local news. Shocked and saddened But now I believe he is in a much better place. I don’t believe in heaven, but I do know he isn’t suffering anymore. He had PTSD according to his mother. And he was also mostly paralyzed, but not from the war. I’m so glad he is out of his hell.

This week I…

Music of the week (my top 8): Demi Lovato, Shania Twain, Lady Antebellum, Miley Cyrus, JoJo, Justin Timberlake, Ellie Goulding, Cheat Codes

Not really feeling the new Miley. However, I am loving the new Demi album:

Demi Lovato – Tell Me You Love Me (live)

TV of the week: Grey’s Anatomy, RHONJ

Movie of the week: I finally saw La La Land. I hated the ending!! Overall, the movie was just okay. I liked the old school vibe. I went into this movie totally blind. I had no idea it was a semi-musical. I hate jazz. Sorry. I know that statement is blasphemous to some people. Anyway, I’m glad Moonlight won best picture over this movie.

I also watched Gaga: Five Foot Two. I’m not a big Lady Gaga fan but I love music docs. It was authentic. It made me see her as a real person. One reason I wasn’t a fan was because of her antics. Her latest album is raw and just her. Anyway, I enjoyed it.

Books of the week: Now reading:

My dad fought in Vietnam. I would love to know his take on all of it. But war is not something I would just bring up. Especially Vietnam. So many people died. Some of his friends died. From what I know of the war, I am disgusted by what happened. However, I am reading this book to hear from ALL sides. I want to know everything.

From the book:

Nothing, certainly not our film or book, can make the tragedy of the Vietnam War all right. But we can, and we must honor the courage, heroism, and sacrifice of those who served, those who died, and those who participated in the war against the war.


Planner update: Plans of the week in my Erin Condren


Plans for the Weekend: Woohoo! I’m celebrating on Friday afternoon. No more full-time work for 9 days straight. Okay, I’m not really celebrating. On Friday evening, I’ll be working at my part-time job and cleaning my living room. Another fun Friday night.

This weekend will be normal. I’m going grocery shopping, doing school work and working. I have a lot of reading for class to do and I really, really, want to finish the Vietnam book before it is due at the library. The book is over 600 pages, and I only have a few weeks to read it. I’m reading 3 library books at once, so I don’t know if I’ll be able to finish all three.

I’m not doing anything special on my week off. Besides going to the park daily, I’m only going out to get the Depo injection. Fun times. Well, I gotta go. I’m getting ready to read in bed. No more work tonight.

Thanks for reading. Have a great weekend! 🙂

She said she loved me

At least Betsy DeVos is saying the right thing about LGBT rights for students (re: transgender bathroom issue). But what will she do? I’m surprised she hasn’t been forced to resign yet.  I hate when people say “states’ rights.” It is such a cop out. What if you live in a shitty state? Fuck that.

The news is so depressing. It looks like the conservatives are #winning.

I wonder what will happen to the Affordable Care Act? Since I’m on birth control, I suddenly give a damn*. LOL. That’s shameful. Seriously, I don’t need birth control so if I have to pay too much, I simply won’t get it. Some people NEED it. I don’t understand why anyone with health insurance would have to pay the full price for BC. It doesn’t make sense. I don’t pay full price for Abilify (it’s very expensive). But I do pay full price for some of my cheaper meds, and I don’t mind at all because it is inexpensive. From what I’ve researched a lot of BC is not cheap.

*Just joking since there are a lot of parts of Obamacare that are very helpful: Free preventive doctor visits, no more pre-existing conditions, etc.

Gabby Bernstein could have been talking to anyone. Other people could have said “Love you” to her. But I typed it out, and as soon as I hit return, she responded with, “Aw, I love you too.”

This is against everything Gabby teaches. She is not more special than me. I shouldn’t be so excited about this. She’s just like me. Also, she probably says “love you” about 500 times a day. That is the type of person she is.

I’m saving my life through Gabby. Spirit is now my lover. I pray and meditate every morning. I tap every afternoon. I still suck at meditating. I was doing fine, but now I’m struggling with it, but I’m still doing it.

I’m taking her Finally Full class (a class for food addiction), and it’s going well. It’s working when nothing else has. SCRATCH THAT! I had pizza and pasta yesterday. So I’m not 100% there or even 50% there. I was doing pretty good. Oh well. HOWEVER, I did give most of the pizza to my mom instead of keeping it for me to eat during the week/weekend. That’s a change for me. Of course, I wish I would have never ordered the pizza in the first place. I’m doing pretty good with not eating sweets, but I can’t get off the carbs. ugh.

I’m going to start over again. I haven’t done all the exercises of Finally Full yet. So I’ve got to get to work. I hope it works. I have faith in the Universe. Kind of.

Being spiritual is so hard when I’m around people. I’m fine when I’m at home during the week. But yesterday I went to my mom’s house. I thought, “This is why I hate people.” ROFL.

The neighbors haven’t even moved next to my mom yet, and there are already issues. I witnessed it with my own eyes. I’m so glad I don’t have next door neighbors, but one day I might. (Please NO). She’s telling me this stuff and I’m thinking “How could I be spiritual through this?” I know it would be a lot of work. I’m already working hard enough on my own crap. I don’t need neighbor issues too.

In summary, I’ve been praying, meditating, tapping and reading spiritual books like it’s my full-time job. But I still have a ton of work to do. ugh. I don’t wanna. At least I have Gabby to guide me through this. She’s the best. I just found a teacher with the same issues I had. That’s my best advice on finding a spiritual teacher. Gabby won’t work for everyone. But there is someone out there for everyone.

Instead of doing Depo-Provera updates, I should do period updates. haha. As of today, I’m 7 days late! WOOHOO! Does that mean it’s not happening? Ever? 🙂 Or will I be in for a big, bad surprise? Not much to say about the Depo. No bad side effects. Not having a period is NOT a bad side effect. It’s a good side effect.

This week I…

Music of the week:  Ryan Adams, Grace, Parson James, John Mayer, Gurunam Singh, Lukas Graham, Adele, Ariana Grande,

I’m surprised by how much I love the new Ryan Adams album. I never considered myself a Ryan Adams fan. Now I guess I am.

TV of the week:  basketball, Glitch

The first 15 minutes of season 1 of Glitch explains why I want to be cremated.  I’m serious. I’ve always wanted to be cremated. I do not want to be buried in the ground. Hell no.

Movie of the week: The Witness (documentary)

Books of the week: I’m reading so many books right now. I finished  Tears We Cannot Stop: A Sermon to White America by Michael Eric Dyson (4 stars on Goodreads). Now reading:

I have a lot more books on my to be read list.  I reactivated my account with BookLenders, so that means I will be using the library a lot less. 😦 My first two books should be here on Monday.

Planner update: Plans in my Erin Condren planner:


Plans for the Weekend: I’m going to pick up my TV (pictured below) and my taxes on Saturday. I filled a big bag of clothes and shoes for ThredUp. I hope I make at least $60. I’m mailing that on Saturday. I should know how much money my clothes are worth in a few weeks.

Oh! I made a 72 on my first practice exam last Sunday. Not bad. It was so hard! I was surprised I passed. I have a lot of studying to do this weekend. Eventually, I’m going to have to mow my lawn since it has been so warm. I’m trying to wait until I’m off on March 16th and 17th. Uh, I’m not sure my grass will wait that long. I may clean my yard this weekend. Not sure.

Not much going on. Per usual. Just studying, doing spiritual work, enjoying my new TV and running a few errands.

Have a nice weekend. 🙂

At least that’s what people say

A few unpopular thoughts/questions on what is going in Ferguson, MO:

  • I feel bad for all the mothers, sisters, friends etc. of murdered family members that get NO JUSTICE. At least this case is getting attention. People are murdered every day and a lot of these go unsolved. No one gives a damn. Attorney General? DOJ?  FBI? Where was this when John Doe or my cousin was murdered?
  • There is never a reason to violently loot. Never. Not only are looters selfish, they have no empathy. What exactly did these business owners do to them?
  • Is this a circus or what?
  • Why is the attorney for the family trying this case in the public? We aren’t the jury. Adding to the circus…
  • Are people forgetting that we have no idea what happened? Well, only one person alive knows and he’s in hiding. (I don’t believe eye witnesses. Research it, they aren’t reliable according to the stats). The only way I would protest is if there was video showing wrongdoing by the officer. Just FYI: I am not one of those people who blindly think cops are the good guys. FAR from it…
  • Shame on the people coming from all over the United States using Mike Brown’s death as a reason to start trouble in Ferguson.
  • I think many in the media don’t want to cover this story at all but feel they have to.
  • Is there really a reason to peacefully protest after 9PM? I know they have the right. blah, blah, blah
  • To end on a semi-positive note: I think it is great what leaders are doing, trying to curb the violence and lead a peaceful protest.

I probably shouldn’t post this…..

House full of empty rooms

I was going to erase my last entry. It is harsh but I do feel that way when they act that way. So why should I erase it? To act like I’m above that kind of thinking? No.

Check out my brand new bag:

Kathy Van Zeeland bag

I swear it looks better and larger in person. It is a true bohemian chic bag. I love it. I really didn’t want to buy it. 😉 But a Kathy bag for $14 = BARGAIN.  Even the cashier was shocked at the price. “Wow, what a markdown” Yes my lucky day. I will switch my bags weekly now. I usually only buy bags when the other one is so worn out. My other bag (Nine West – on sale) I brought 3 months ago and it is in good shape despite me dragging it everywhere for the past 3 months.

I was just supposed to buy socks. That’s all. But I browsed the purses as I always do. Most of the time I do not leave with a purse.


I don’t usually watch the State of the Union address. I know the state of the union. Plus the media leaks stuff in advance. I usually just watch the news the next day. But since I’ve been watching 75% of the Republican debates, I’m really following politics again. I have Daily Kos delivered to my kindle daily. I read it every morning while drinking my coffee. I watch MSNBC way too much. I will watch the State of the Union address…or at least I will try. I like the debates better because they are a little less scripted.

I’m fascinated by the republican primaries. I’m still shocked Santorum isn’t getting more votes. He is the conservative of all conservatives. Google some of the things this man has said.  Jaw dropping. I guess he doesn’t have enough money to compete with Romney and he doesn’t have the name to compete with Newt.

Who will win in November? I have no idea. I really think the republican nominees are too far right to win the general election. You would think there would be at least one moderate. (Well I believe Romney is a closeted moderate so…) I don’t know. Politics is a lot like sports for me. It’s entertainment. But if the “wrong” people win, there could be some fucked up stuff happening. I happen to be thinking of what Romney will do to people making under $20,000. Their taxes will skyrocket. I think that is just wrong. I could go on but that is what sticks out most in my mind from reading their tax plans over the weekend.

Well I’ve done my nightly chores. Going to read and watch MSNBC all night. Oh yeah, and try to sleep. I didn’t do a good job of that last night.

Tolle is my shrink

I’m all screwed up and it isn’t completely do to the time change. I haven’t been watching the news. I don’t who Massa is. I know he works in DC…or used to but WTF………I didn’t watch one second of Chris Matthews or Rachel Maddow toda or Friday. I feel lost. I need to get to work early tomorrow so I can listen to NPR.

My furniture is coming Saturday. I still have a lot to do to prepare for that. I’m not working this Sat. I’m going to the library and looking for a flea market spot. I’ve never been to the indoor ones. I hope the first one is good enough and I won’t have to go to the second. My real concern is that both will suck. Not to go into detail right  now but I’m actually having a display this time. I already brought dirt cheap but cute spring themed stuff. purple and pink…

I’m listening to an awesome book by Eckhartt Tolle. I like how he says, “don’t TRY to get rid if the ego. It isn’t possible” I need to hear that. I’m always wondering, “how can you just lose/forget yourself?” How hard does that sound? Tolle words gives me hope. I need the book because I’m constantly wanting to jot down notes when I’m listening. The name of the book is “New Earth”. I’ll link to it later. I will definitely blog about this more…

Just felt like checking in since I actually wrote in my paper journal for the first time in a month. I also painted my nails blue. Multi-taking. I have to do a major to do list. Lots of things to do tomorrow…including phone calls for myself & work.