Talkin’ Smooth

I present you with the love of my life:

Yes, Rachel. She rocked it last night. I can’t believe how much I’m going to miss Big Brother…until next summer. But I’m pretty sure Rachel won’t be there. 😦 She’ll be back one summer.

I call certain people “come withs”. I’m not the most creative person so that name sucks. They are people who must go somewhere with another person. They can’t go to a movie alone, a concert, a museum, etc. I’m not at all like that and I have social anxiety! I always get a little chuckle at “normal” people not wanting to go out alone. It should be the other way around. Anyhow, I feel like some of these ‘come withs’ will just go with anyone to a movie (or whatever). They just can’t do it alone.

I don’t want to be a ‘come with’s go-to partner. NO. Partially because I’m not at all that way and I don’t fully get it. And maybe a part of me feels used. The “come with” is thinking I can’t go to ———– alone but I really, really want to go. I have to find someone who will go with me!

Um, I don’t think so.
But perhaps I am only human and I can’t always so no. FUCK. I’m not social. I want to go to museums and yoga classes. I’d even go to a coffee shop with another person at this point. Yet, I got sucked into going to an event at a CHURCH (lol) tomorrow! I soooo don’t want to go. It will be weird. I haven’t been into that kind of church since I was 5 years old! I don’t wanna! 🙂

Okay, I committed so I’m going. I’m an atheist going to a church on a Friday night. WTF? I freaked out after saying yes and couldn’t work anymore. I was a wreck. I did have plans. I was going to spend all night on my homework for the week. (what fun!) I had it all planned out. Now I guess I’m doing it on Saturday, at the last minute. *Sigh*

I don’t know what else to say except I hope time flies. I said “yes”…
Something’s gotta give. I really want to travel. I’ll work hard and travel hard. But first I have to stop being a student. I also have to get certified (which is another monster). Since I went back to school, that must be completed. I would love to just go to New York on a whim but I have tuition bills. (Yes I know there are homeless people and unemployed people…)

I have the travel itch. My #1 dream place is still Mexico. I have accepted that life sucks. I just want to add an element of fun. And fun for me is mostly travel. Finish school first. Get certified. Stop bitching.

I want to go back to New York City. I’m a bad girl. Enough already.

Dear Jenn

Can I call you that? After all, we aren’t friends. I don’t hate you. I really don’t know much about you as a person. I do HATE when you laugh at me. Who would like someone laughing at them? I treat you like every other co-worker. If anything I’m a bit weary of you because I “know” you least of all. I can’t get a read on you. This is an unimportant observation but you seem so young, I’m always shocked by the fact that you have kids.

I don’t try to listen to your conversations but when I put my black headphones all, all hell breaks loose. You know what I mean or ask D. I cant even move! I want to not hear you but every time I put the headphones on and I move in the slightest & make a noise (the headphones), certain people start acting like they are 5 years old. I don’t even know if you are a part of this group. My point is, I don’t want to hear you. I tried to remedy that through headphones. It worked for a while. Those were the good days…and then one day, they became kids.

To appease the situation, I’ve stopped wearing my headphones but I’m going back to using them. Me overhearing you all does me NO GOOD.

In conclusion, if you are ever talking about me – yes I hate that. I don’t hate you. I do question why you (and others) do this but I don’t hate YOU. We don’t sit close enough for me to hate you. 🙂 Trust me, other people’s behavior are more mystifying than yours.