Better dig two

I can only laugh at this point. Or scream! “My” house is in a secluded area. I don’t have neighbors on either side.Β  Of course the county doesn’t like that. I was researching the area because I will be living very close to a park. And I wanted to know how many acres it was etc. (280 acres).Β  Well the county is planning on building 40+ homes (or trailers) in that wooded area right where I will be living. I don’t know if they will tear my house down or not. I do know that the two houses in back of me are for sale. Interesting, isn’t it? They are two really nice homes. The guy closest to me just placed his house on the market 20 days ago. He knows what is going to happen and is trying to get out now. I don’t blame him.

Well at least I’m only renting, right? But I wanted to stay there for at least 3-5 years. I know things change. The owner could decide he wants to sell after me being there ONE year. I don’t know. But I do know that I picked that house because it was in a quiet, secluded area. Well this sucks. As far as I know there haven’t been meetings against the new houses/subdivision since 2012. I find that odd…

How can they just fuck up 7 acres of land?? I should have known that it was too good to be true. “Country living in the city” ROFL. But I will enjoy it while it lasts. I have created a Google alert for more info. It’s funny. When I was a temp, I worked for the guy who wants to destroy this land. :/ I only temped there for a day or two.

I can’t find out if he has been approved to build yet. I know he was seeking a permit. I don’t know how long that takes. And then how long will it take to build the houses? If it is a trailer park or mobile homes, I’m guessing it won’t take too long. (Bummer). But if they are regular houses, construction might take a while. I dunno. I would be living near a bunch of people. THE HORROR!!…that is if they aren’t planning to tear down my house which I kinda think they are. The owner will probably sell it to them.

As of this moment, I’m planning on moving my furniture on May 18. I would love to move on May 11 but they are still working on the outside of the house. They need probably one more day to finish the well. (Yes, I will be getting my water from a well). The problem is that it is supposed to rain Monday through Wednesday of this upcoming week. That means no work. Sigh.

I went inside the house again yesterday (trespasser!). Still no stove/oven.Β  But I was happy to see that there are electrical plugs in the dining room. I was slightly freaking out because I really want that to be my office.

The freedom song

What is the point of making plans? Ha. It looks like I’m not going to Duke University this summer but I hope to go somewhere even better…the beach in North Carolina. It isn’t up to me so I’m just hoping this happens. I’m tagging along with someone.

I am a plant person. I used to garden. I even have a horticulture certificate from high school. I haven’t been able to have plants since I adopted a cat. But I had to give her up 😦 Now I can have a mini greenhouse. It is very tiny because I don’t have enough room. Any greenery is good.

Here is my new mini-greenhouse:


The plant in the blue pots are lucky bamboos. They originate from Africa. I’ve never had bamboo before. As long as I remember to change the water, they should be fine. I brought them because I need luck and they are so pretty. πŸ™‚

I am going to party on this birthday vacation. You would think I’m turning 21 with all the alcohol I brought. Yes, I got carded…and I spent too much $. I want to mix my own drinks. I even brought my first cocktail shaker.

blame it on the alcohol

Have I mentioned that I’m not a drinker? I hate beer. I drink wine about 10 times a year. I’m sick of wine. I only got tipsy once. So I decided to try some hardcore stuff. The vodka, grenadine syrup, and pineapple juice are not pictured. In the picture I have Skinnygirl Pina Colada (not going on the trip – I’m trying that tonight), piΓ±a colada mix, 2 small bottles of rum, and red apple liqueur. I’m making Bikini Martini and Malibu Bay Breeze. I’m also going to try mixing an apple martini. I have never made this stuff before. This should be fun. Yes this is a strange mix of liquids. I don’t know what I’m doing!

Since I’m new to this, I soooo hope I do not get too drunk. The last thing I want to experience is a hangover, especially on a vacation.

I needed someone to tell me that my dreams weren’t totally crazy. Only two people know about my dream of buying my house in the country. One said, “Go for it”. The other person was more practical. “What about gas prices? Is it probably better to move to the country when you retire”. I like practical.

Then I read the articles/websites on noise anxiety. One writer recommended a move to the country. I don’t know why it validated my decision but it did! I needed a 3rd unknown party to tell me it was okay to move to the country because I can’t function like a normal person in the noisy city. THANK YOU.

Choose an environment that’s right for you. If you are considering buying a house or moving there are a lot of factors to consider before you settle on the right place. Choosing the right location can be even more important for someone who suffers from noise anxiety. Consider the environment and how well you will adapt. For instance, if you suffer from noise anxiety you may be happier and healthier living in the country rather than choosing a place in a large city. That’s something you will want to consider when choosing a place to live.


Healthy. I want to be healthy. I want to live a full life. What a novel concept. (I know living in the country does not equal happiness. I just know what it is like to fill comfortable in my own home. Life is better that way. I haven’t had that in YEARS. It doesn’t bring happiness but it can make my life more livable). It still doesn’t make it any easier to actually fulfill this craaaaazy dream but I’m definitely more committed to it now than I was before reading that website. I’m not going to start searching for homes again…for now. I still have to sell my house. I hope to get a realtor to my house sometime in June.

How did I get stuck in the house I’m trying to sell? NOISE! I was sleeping in my car because I couldn’t stand the apartment noise. I just got fed up, paid off the rental company (with credit cards) and brought a house. I felt like I had no choice. In hindsight, I should have kept sleeping in my car and being paralyzed during the day before buying a house. I don’t know. What was I supposed to do? I have no idea. There was no way for me to know the house situation would have ended like it did. So……..ugh.

I don’t know which is worse social anxiety or this noise issue. The noise anxiety has made me to CRAZY things…not just buying a house in one day but other things too. On the other hand, social anxiety affects getting a job so SA wins. But I feel like it is a tie.

On Monday I’m off to the beach. I will probably upload pics from there…if I’m not too drunk. πŸ˜‰

paranoia strikes deep

I’m still wired after drinking a cup of coffee this morning. This entry will be all over the place. Speaking of drinks, I have only had TWO sodas during the past 3 months. πŸ™‚ Mountain Dew was my drug of choice. During my childhood, it was Sprite but then I discovered caffeine. Yes, I still drink coffee. I probably drink about 4-5 cups a week.

I’m so excited that I now have access to a treadmill at home!!! I don’t have to leave my house like I did last Sunday just to go to the gym. My mom dusted off her treadmill. I can’t believe all I had to do was ask. (Hello?) I will have to get use to the deep incline. It can’t go down. I will be going slow for a while. I’m used to being able to adjust it. Anyway, my minimum goal is 1 mile a day 3-4 days a week. I would love to do 2 miles 3 times a week. But I’m only used to doing a mile or a mile and a half. So I’ll start with that.

I have to mention this now because Whitney just came on my music player. My mom is so impressed that I’m not a real Whit fan but I can tell you who wrote almost all of her songs. She rattled off titles and I told her the songwriter(s) of all but one. She thinks this means I would be good in a certain ‘profession’…because I can easily recall things. Um, NO. I live and love music. I can easily remember this somewhat useless stuff. But in general I have a horrible memory. I’m also bad at paying attention to details which makes my current job so exasperating. I’m much better at the big picture.

I love sports almost as much as music but I can’t remember stats of even my favorite players/teams. Don’t get me wrong, I love stats (psych major!) but when people start going on and on about sports and statistics, it is like my brain just shuts down. Anyhow, I’m glad someone is impressed by my pop culture knowledge. However, I have been slipping as of late. I probably won’t know 75% of the people at the Academy Awards tonight. Eww, I just realized that the NBA All Star game is on at the same time as the Oscars. I’m probably the only person who is bummed about this. πŸ˜‰


I am making some progress on cleaning my house. I definitely will have professional cleaners clean the floors. And I may have carpet installed. I’ve been thinking about *maybe* renting my house out. I won’t do it if I have to be in charge of maintenance though. I will hire a rental agency. I have no idea how much that costs. I just know that having someone else involved will increase what I would ask for rent. Hopefully with my mom’s help, the house will have a professional look in 2 months. Then I will have to make a decision. Rent out or sale?? I just hate the thought of someone messing up my house! (Don’t think negatively).

I’m trying to not spend too much time searching for houses on the net. I keep finding beauties. Of course there is probably something wrong with most of these houses. Why would an affordable 4 bedroom/2 bath with lots of land be on the market for almost a year? I’m still conflicted with the whole country living versus city living. Gas prices will always be an issue. I have to put that down as a con. Gas will not cost $2.50 a gallon even if Newt Gingrich is president. *smirk*

I haven’t really considered alternatives like buying a hybrid car. I haven’t done much research in that area because the last thing I wanted to do was buy another car. Of course that happened anyway. If only I could work at home forever. Then gas would not be a top concern. BUT when I hear the kids next door bouncing that damn basketball or I think about how it was living in my house: I know I have to get to the country.

Gas be damned??? Everything has to be complicated. Every. Single. Thing. At this point, I’m pretty sure the townhouse thing is out. I’m far too neurotic to share walls with someone. Been there, done that. I really do know that I belong in the country but I can’t just ignore all the drawbacks (gas, yard maintenance, more critters, power outages for days/weeks, etc.) I’m so torn over this. Obviously.

I don’t know why I’m posting this. I don’t think I blogged about what I originally wanted to mention. Whatever.

A cause for celebration



I can’t remember the last time I felt such pure joy. I’m going to be working from home. SOON. Soon as in two weeks or less!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Sorry. I actually smiled at my desk for the first time in a long time. Then I went into the bathroom and jumped up and down. πŸ™‚ What happened today? After all, I already said I was going to be working from home. I got some equipment today. Not my computer or printer. Something awesome. I really can’t say because it is a unique thing for our company. I am guarding that thing more than my life. I can’t believe this…………..any of this.

Total yayness!!

There are concerns. And I know life won’t be awesome (LOL) just because I’m working from home. I’m not that naive. But the work related concerns have to do with the internet. My router is downstairs. I’m working upstairs, far away from the router. Will I have to call the ISP to install anything? Will that hold up things up? Sigh. These are things I don’t know. And I don’t know how I am supposed to know them until I get all the equipment. By then it will be too late. And I could end up going home and then having to spend a day or two working AT work. (The horror!)

Oh well. Now I have to clean my house – never ending process – and my desk/office area. The office area is nothing compared to my house. I really have to buckle down and clean it. Otherwise how will I ever sell it? Sigh. Double sigh. %^#$

I’ve been rethinking the whole buying a townhouse thing. I know I can’t stand noise. It literally drives me crazy. NO it isn’t that I don’t like noise. I’m neurotic about it. Plus I happen to like my privacy. So why am I considering a townhouse? Of course there are benefits to a townhouse. I could get a really nice looking place with new appliances for a good price. Plus I wouldn’t have to worry about snow in the parking lot. Not that we have had any snow this year. It was 70 degrees yesterday.

I’m seriously thinking about moving to the country. That is my dream. HOWEVER, it is insane. I’m not going to be working at this company forever. What if I have to get a job in the city? How much gas will that be? What if all my money goes there? Plus there is car maintenance. Another drawback is the weather and I’m not talking just snow. What about the hurricanes? When they lose power, sometimes they don’t get it back for weeks. Once it was MONTHS. The biggest issue is really the job/driving into the city thing.

But wouldn’t it be great?? I could get 2-5 acres of land and a tiny house (heh) for the price of a nice townhouse. NO NEIGHBORS. My own driveway. The life. But how can I ever justify the job thing??? I’m really concerned with being stuck an hour away from the city. I already made one buying a house mistake. I can’t make another. And how patient are employers going to be when I say, “We still have snow out here. No plows have come and I live on a hill“. My current employer wouldn’t give a damn. I would be out of a job. In the city, you know that eventually the roads will be cleared.

The conclusion might be to try to find a private space in the city. But that won’t be easy. And I know from previous experience that a realtor won’t want to spend weeks or months looking for the perfect private house since I won’t be spending a lot of money. They want commission and I’m not giving them much.

I’ve been ruminating over this, probably too much. I was so sure about the townhouse but now I’m starting to question everything. How could I possibly think I could live there. Should I give it a chance? See, the questions never stop. When it isn’t social anxiety, it is anxiety about cleaning my house and where will I move?

Here is a house I’ve been obsessing over. It was built in 1999. 3 bedrooms and 2 baths. It is perfect for me because I love nature. I would have my own creek!!! And lake. It is within my budget. The house is small compared to all the land that comes with it. House is 1400 sq feet (big for me!) and 2.5 acres of land.

view of lake from patio
my very own creek?