Hell Of A Life

I went to see my counselor for the first time in 2011. This has been the worst month (of work?) ever. I have never been so stressed. The good thing, is the call center environment is gone for now. The bad thing is…I’m still alive. I have to apologize to the people who value their life and care about living. I would give up my life for my worst enemy, but it isn’t possible.

My cat is sick with a cold. I feel helpless.

I’m taking 3 classes. I have an assignment due tonight so I should go.

Oh yeah, some of the stuff in the ADD organizational book, I was (or am) already doing. I think it is just anxiety/depression but I never thought I would miss my 25 year old self. I was always on time/early. My house wasn’t cluttered. I wouldn’t allow myself to get distracted so easily. Now it is a struggle to read. I still love it but it takes me 4x longer to finish a book these days. I’ve been forgetful my whole life. That hasn’t changed. I miss being on time.

I am on the internet a lot less. Thanks Verizon 4G. 🙂 (blessing in disguise)

Life sucks. My spirit is dead. When are you going to take my body?

Wow, this is really uplifting.

I need a professional organizer (just once or maybe twice), & a life coach (for at least 6 months). I’m just so overwhelmed. If I were not in school, I probably would hire one of those…whichever one would charge less. I just need a little help with the organization. I don’t need monthly visits. A life coach would be interesting. That seems like a luxury. No offense to my counselor, but counseling sessions aren’t cutting it. Who am I fooling? A life coach would be more fed up with me. Counseling is cheaper but I’m in a stuck mode with her right now.

I’m sick of my counselor thinking I want friends. Yes I know life is easier with friends. It is definitely cheaper. I would love to know how much the average person saves by having friends. A LOT of money. Trust me. (house repairs, car repairs, vacations, eating out, lawn work etc). Then there is the advice which is priceless.

But nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

I have to go back to being stubborn.

depressed

  • could not get moving this morning
  • was late to my monthly counselor session
  • need more than monthly sessions
  • learned simple yoga pose in counseling
  • spent $120 to temporarily control wok environment – me being cynical could work for a few months. heh
  • finances messed up
  • was working on paying off discover card – that is delayed
  • can’t do anything
  • no appetite
  • counselor told me not to quit job. heh
  • wish i was going to nyc alone or not at all
  • how to fake being ‘happy’ while going to nyc -ugh
  • off tomorrow, better get ish done
  • paid for summer school, need used textbook
  • i’m dead spiritually, when is the physical going to happen? so impatient
  • welcome to my 30s.life suxs. 😦