They told you I’m crazy

I was crying in my car because my hands hurt so much. I left my gloves at home. I had to stop to get gas. The rest of my body was fine even though I wasn’t dressed that well for the cold. My hands hurt so much I couldn’t put my wallet back in my purse. I had to wait for about 3 minutes and put my hands in front of the heat for things to be okay.

Imagine being homeless and not having a shelter to go to during the winter. I really hope the temperatures go up. This is not normal for us at all. Not to be insensitive to the homeless people, but I really don’t know what to do with my electric bill. There’s nothing I can do. I just have to wait until March or until the temperature goes back to a normal 40 degrees.

UPDATE: I just saw that on next Monday (a week from today), it will be 45 degrees!!! Woohoo! Please let that be true. Don’t change. I will probably go to the park that day. It’s been way too cold to go to the park. My dog has been trying to lead me there some days.

The Marianne Williamson New Year retreat was okay. I loved some parts more than others. I usually love when she interacts with the audience, but the relationship part was dreadful. It was all “I broke up with my significant other and I can’t go on”. Uh, I can’t relate to that at all. Those whole hours were pointless to me. I’m pretty sure I’m not going to pay for it next year.

Some people hated the political stuff but I was fine with that. I’m going to see her speak this Saturday. YAY!  It’ll probably be 70% political and 30% spiritual. I’m taking the only 3D book I have of hers with me. I doubt she’ll sign it because she’s not supposed to be signing books. It’s a worth a try.

I bought this dress from Lyon + Post for Los Angeles:


I paid $5.00 for it because I had credits. It was also on sale. I don’t have that color. Mine is a bluish color. I’m not wearing it as a dress. Whenever I do wear it, I will wear it with black leggings. If I take it to LA, I will probably wear it to see Gabby. But I’m not sure yet. I have lots of clothing options. I love fashion!

I think I’m calling to make an appointment to see a new psychiatrist one day this week. Maybe tomorrow. I’m nervous. But I think my doctor being hurt and people have been saying things that lead me to believe NOW IS THE TIME to change doctors. I really believe the universe is telling me to make an appointment. I hope I can get one before mid-February.

I gotta go work on some financial stuff. ::crossing fingers:: Fun times. Bye!

Bridges burn, I never learn


1 day until Marianne Williamson’s NYE retreat (via live stream)

9 days until I see Marianne Williamson LIVE

23 days until I see (and meet!!) Gabby Bernstein in LA

I have to say one thing about Marianne’s live stream. I had no idea the times on the website were pacific standard time. lol. Of course, it would be. It’s taking place in LA! Anyway, the start time for Friday will be 10:30PM for me. I will be barely awake at that time. I was planning on taking notes and things throughout the whole retreat. Uh, probably not happening on Friday night. The good thing is that I will be able to see everything else live this weekend because I will be home since it all takes place during the afternoon and night.

Ugh. I look like I’m 6 months pregnant and I haven’t even been eating that much because lack of Abilify took my appetite away. This birth control definitely doesn’t agree with me. But hey, it stopped the bleeding which is more than I could ask for. So I’m staying on for at least a year. Maybe a little less. I don’t need BC so I’m not planning on trying anything after I get off this. I just wanted to stop my period, but I can’t have everything, I guess. ::sobs:: I’m going to be stuck with my period forever. Why have a period for no reason?

I’m feeling much better now that I’m back on Abilify. My appetite still isn’t really back, but I can eat so no complaints. I’m not looking forward to going off again. I get back from LA around midnight on January 21. Do I dare slowly wean myself off starting on January 22?

I’m getting excited about Los Angeles even though I shouldn’t be going. LOL. I have a much better itinerary then what I posted last time. I’m not going to the beach on that Friday. Here is a rough itinerary as of today:

Friday: Griffith Observatory (all afternoon/evening)

Saturday: downtown LA (morning), Gabby Bernstein (afternoon/evening)

I know that doesn’t sound great to a lot of people. But I would be very happy to get to do just those things. Downtown LA is a lot. I want to explore all of downtown in about 4 hours. Btw, I’m so scared to find out how far the Observatory is from my hotel. I know I would probably not plan to go if I knew how much an Uber would cost. So I’m not checking for now because I really want to shut that place down. 🙂 It closes at 10 PM.

I kind of want to go to In-N-Out Burger. We don’t have one here. I should have my appetite back fully by then.  It is very close to the hotel/airport. I just don’t know when to go. There are so many food options. I definitely don’t need to go to In-N-Out.

As long as I make it to LA *on time*, I’ll be fine. When I went to Oaxaca City, there was a plane malfunction and I was stuck in Mexico City for a night. I had to get a hotel.  Then on my way back from Vegas, I missed my connecting flight. But that wasn’t a huge deal since it was on the back. I’m not going to be in LA long so there’s no time for delays. I can’t stand hearing about planes turning around or flight delays right now. It makes me anxious. What if I miss Gabby? I’ll die!

This week I…

Music of the week (my top 8):  Taylor Swift, Kelly Clarkson, Demi Lovato, Mariah Carey, Ariana Grande, City High, Julia Michaels, Laura Marling

I have a like/love relationship with Taylor Swift’s music. It should be hate/love because some of her albums I hate. But her latest album I’m loving which is a shock to me. I was so disappointed when I first heard it.

My top 17 albums of 2017 is coming in January. 😉

TV of the week:  The Crown, The Jump, House Hunters, basketball

Movie of the week: none

Podcasts of the week:  The School of Greatness with Lewis Howes, All In With Chris Hayes, The Lively Show, Mentally Chill, Don’t Freak Out

Books of the week: 

Now reading –

Planner update: Plans of the week in my Erin Condren


Plans for the Weekend: Besides “attending” the Marianne New Year’s retreat, I’m taking my mom out to eat for her birthday and that’s about it.

Oh, wait. I thought that was all, but I just found out that I’m working overtime this weekend. I wanted to say NO so bad, but I really need the money. It’s cold and my electric bill is going to be sky high so I have to work the OT. I hate winter. Last winter was mild so I figured this winter was going to suck and so far I’m right. My house is so cold, I feel like I may as well be outside.

I feel bad for the homeless people. We have at least one shelter that opens at 7PM. But you need a referral (??) and they don’t give out food. I hope everyone can fit. I have no idea how big the place is.

It’s going to be so cold on NYE, Kool & The Gang canceled their concert!! I like Kool & The Gang and thought that would be a nice concert, but there is NO WAY I would want to be out at midnight on NYE in the cold. I didn’t know it was going to be this cold. And I think the people in NYC are nuts for waiting for the ball to drop in the freezing cold. Nothing could make me stand out there.

Have I mentioned how much I hate the cold? Maybe I should go on? I need to move somewhere warm all the time, but there aren’t that many options in the US. Texas is one option I kind of like. For now, I want to stay in the States. Later on, I would consider leaving the US.

Thanks so much for checking in. Have a great weekend! 🙂

If This Was A Movie

I really didn’t plan on typing a novel…

I’m going to drop at least one of my four classes. And I’m not going to see Burlesque. 😦 I don’t know which one sucks the most. It’s not like I want to take 4 classes. LOL. Since my car battery and me getting locked out cost me $300 in ONE week, dropping a class is probably a good idea. Too bad I brought the book for the 3 credit class. I want to drop that one but instead I may drop the 2 credit class since I don’t have the book.

Hopefully working OT will get me out of this financial mess. I hate debt. Hate it. If I can’t pay for it right then or quickly, I won’t buy it or do it. I made an exception for school because I really want to get certified ASAP. Not happening. Whatever. Next. Someone is going to be very happy that this class has an opening. I’m sure the wait list is very long.

So I’m dropping a class, eating more cheaply than usual, not going to see Burlesque…unless it is still in theaters in late December which is highly doubtful. There are too many Oscar releases coming out at that time for Burlesque to still be in any theater. Plus there are “Oscar” movies I want to see. I’ve only gone to the theater once this year. ONCE! Not due to lack of money. It was mainly due to lack of time on the weekends and the lack of decent movies. The best movies tend to come out in mid-December to January.

Two of my keys fell off my key chain. This was bound to happen one day. Since I’m a horrible person, this would happen when it was 20 degrees! It was 70 degrees the day before (but felt more like 50 since it wasn’t sunny). So I had no idea it was going to be so cold. No, I don’t check weather before I leave the house 90% of the time. I will sometimes check on Sunday for the week or if I know snow is coming. Anyhow, I almost didn’t wear my coat. I didn’t have gloves on because I can’t find my pair. (One of my hands is still tingling). And I had on cheap, thin ass dollar store panty hose. I was wearing a skirt!

I told myself that there were homeless people outside right at this moment. If they could bear it, I could bear it until 10AM. But then my manager called. I was freezing but I had cheap clothes on and had no idea it was only 20 degrees. My manager told me that. Then she said there was NO WAY I could stay out there for another 2 hours. I was already out there for an hour by then. I’m so easily influenced that I believed her.

She wanted me to go to a neighbor’s house! LOL. At 8AM? Okay, I wouldn’t even do that at noon but I would feel a little better about the idea. My next door neighbor is retired and might have been awake. But how would I know? Plus it would not have solved my problem. NO FREAKIN’ LOCKSMITH WANTED TO COME. I was paying their asses! Geez, it is your fucking job, morons. That pissed me off more than anything. What a way to make a person feel worthless.

She did convince me that I wanted to be warm. Heh. So this girl who never carries cash actually had enough cash on her to catch a cab! Did I mention that I NEVER carry cash??? I did later find out that some cab/taxi companies do take credit/debit cards but you will have to wait a loooooong time. This isn’t NYC. So I guess the cash was my only blessing. I went to my mom’s house. I have her key and that one stayed on the chain. (okay, another good thing). I warmed up and then found a bunch of locksmiths online. I read the reviews etc.

A cute guy actually came to my house. The cute part isn’t surprising. The fact that he came was. Heh. He charged me $150 ($4.00 off – I did say thank you). It would have been cheaper if I had cash but I never have that much cash. I only had $35 in cash to begin with and most of that went to the cab driver. He said he charged me so much because the door was metal and he had to drill. It was the screen door that I was locked out of. Now that metal security door is pointless….until I get a new lock for it.

He was middle eastern. I may or may not be mentioning his ethnicity for a reason. This isn’t an assumption. He took two personal calls on his iPhone (drool) while standing on my porch. I can’t tell you which language he was speaking. Arabic? Armenian? Farsi? I have no idea. I’m just glad he did his job. He was extremely nice which isn’t something I look for. I just want the job done. I do wonder if he had to charge me that much. How do I know? It would have been cheaper if it was my front door since that is made of out cheap crap. The name of the material escapes me – it is a regular cheap door from Lowe’s.

He gave me his card and told me he would fix my screen door for half price. (Suuure! – I wouldn’t even mention that if I called him again). If I had extra money and I was bored, I’d call him. Pay for play. Yummy. 🙂 I have his card on my refrigerator. Super smart! That will come in handy when I get locked out next time. I don’t know what else could happen. Actually I know a lot more could, I’m hoping it doesn’t. Geez. Too much $$ gone for one week. Damn.

Oh, and no phones for me since I missed my day. I did not go to work. There was no way I was going without knowing that my car key was safe in my house. I didn’t want to go anywhere but it was so cold. I really stopped thinking at one point. My coworkers don’t know what happened (unless they read this). One comment led me to believe they thought I didn’t go to work because I didn’t want to be on the phones?! *Smirk* 😉