I hate people

But you already knew that.

It is so hot. I didn’t even sleep much last night. It was over 100 degrees in my bedroom until about 1 AM. It was probably near 110 degrees. I’m not kidding. I had to go somewhere else until midnight. Today is supposed to be hotter. I can’t concentrate with heat that high. The good thing is that some of next week will be in the 80s. YAY. But then we have August. Ugh.

I don’t have or want kids because I value my free time. People with kids don’t value it as much as I do, or they would not have had kids. It’s funny how that never occurs to people.  Some people choose not to have kids because they don’t like them, but I bet one of the top 3 reasons would be free time. Kids are expensive too. That rounds out most people top three reasons to not have kids. Freedom to travel or do whatever is kind of free time plus kids are expensive.

My TV is stuck on CNN right now, and I feel like I’m losing brain cells. How can anybody watch this crap? I have it muted, and it is oh so bad. I must admit that anyone who doesn’t like politics will probably hate MSNBC because that is 90% of what they cover. Sometimes I get frustrated at them because they won’t cover anything besides politics. Fox is like a bad combo of CNN and MSNBC. They discuss the weirdest crap. Random shit.  Fox kills brain cells. Everyone knows that. It’s okay to watch for entertainment but run if someone takes it seriously. RUN.

I think I’m suffering from heatstroke. Or it may just be the lack of Abilify. But I usually don’t feel symptoms from Abilify withdrawal for maybe 2 weeks? Anyway, I can no longer sit in my 100-degree bedroom anymore. I’m so glad I only worked half a day of overtime. I wanted to work an extra hour, but the heat was already getting to me plus I thought why not just get off a little early. It’s not like I’m getting paid time and a half for it because I only worked 16 hours and that includes so-called overtime.

I’m so sick of people right now. I think there’s something in the water. It might be Mercury Retrograde. Mercury is about communication, commerce (don’t make any big purchases during the retrograde!), and other things. So I’m thinking that along with the eclipses are just making me rage. Or it could be people’s behavior? Or it could be the lack of Abilify is already kicking in? And I have nothing to take in place of it because it costs $1200. Sigh.

I wish everyone would borrow some Taurus traits. Hahaha. We are quiet. We are the most introverted sign of all the zodiac signs. We are loyal and by far the best employees because we don’t complain. We just do what we are told. We are not good entrepreneurs, but America values good workers, so we are valued. We are reliable. Yes, we can be stubborn, but we keep these thoughts to ourselves instead of gossiping about people behind their backs. Don’t take advantage of us, or we will eventually explode with anger. So watch out for that. Oh, and never mess with the routine of a Taurus. NEVER. That also makes us angry. You won’t see it, but one day we will explode. Hopefully, you won’t be there when we do it. God help you if you are.

Taurus is great for the world. Appreciate us, dammit. 🙂

Election2020: The debates rosters are set. Whatever. I think I’m over Marianne Williamson. She has always rubbed me a little wrong because she is more conservative than me. She doesn’t believe depression is a thing. I hate that I’m going to cut ties with her officially over this, but I’m not surprised. If a random person said the things she said, I wouldn’t support them. For the record, I supported her because of her A Course In Miracles teachings. But I think she’s too stubborn to be president. She does what she wants. Believes what she wants. This was confirmed by how she ran for Congress the first time. Many believe she wasted a ton of money because she did things her way.

Temporarily over her and 100% for Elizabeth Warren…and Julian Castro. 🙂  Julian is on my list because he is strongly for justice reform. I don’t understand why his ratings didn’t go up more after the debate. Either he doesn’t have enough funds, or he isn’t a good campaigner. I do think he could use a little more passion in media interviews. He always seems so tired. I feel bad for him. Is he always tired or is that just his personality.

This week I…

Music of the week: Ed Sheeran, Britney Spears, Beyonce, Sugarland, Bishop Briggs, Keyshia Cole, Lauren Daigle, India.Arie

TV of the week: Big Brother, Grey’s Anatomy

Podcasts of the week: True Crime Garage, Pod Save America, The Lowe Post, Why Is This Happening

Books of the week: Now reading:

Weekend Plans: Well, today is Saturday. I was supposed to work more on creating my online course. I still have time for tonight, so I guess I should do that. I like feeling inspired. LOL. Everything is just all fucked up because of boundaries or the lack thereof. I did get a lot of accomplished on my days off. But I kind of started over again with the course because I felt like the first module sucked. So there’s that. People suck.

Thanks for reading my rants. Have a great, nice rest of the weekend! 🙂

No place I’d rather be

A week from today, we will have President Trump!! 🙂 🙂 🙂 Um, that is sarcasm, but don’t be shocked. I’m not shocked by the Hillary email “scandal.” I said (out loud to my dog) that something would happen prior to election day to Clinton and I still think something else is going to happen. This wasn’t a huge deal. I was thinking something more damaging.

Anyway, I’m not in a great mood because I told my freaking therapist to cancel tomorrow’s session and she didn’t. They left a voicemail yesterday to remind me I have an appointment. Why can’t people just do their job? Fuck it. I’ll go. I wanted to call to cancel, but isn’t that short notice? See, I give a damn, and that’s the problem.

Ugh. I don’t wanna leave my house. EVER.

/end whine fest

Adele is a smart woman.  She said not having children is brave and in some circles, it IS. I don’t go around thinking of myself as brave because I never wanted kids, so it wasn’t some hard choice. I do get a tiny bit of pressure (very tiny). But I’m not married (thank Buddha). I don’t have friends. Who would expect me to have kids? Everyone knows I’m not a people person. So…no shock here.

But yay, to Adele for getting it. She has a child, and it is so rare for parents to get it. They are all “This is the best thing ever” (yeah, right) and “Now my life has meaning.” I can’t even go into all that crap. Blah, blah.

“Actually,” she says, “I think it’s the bravest thing not to have a child; all my friends and I felt pressurized into having kids, because that’s what adults do. I love my son more than anything, but on a daily basis, if I have a minute or two, I wish I could do whatever the fuck I wanted, whenever I want. Every single day I feel like that.”

Yeah, I can do whatever the fuck I want. Wait. I have to work 24/7. Other than that…Seriously I’m so thankful to have work. SO thankful. But I’m thinking of taking a day off from my part-time job. It’s probably not the best decision since this isn’t year round work and I need the money*. I have been working 7 days a week. And I’m growing weary. I need a break.

I may take election day off because that will look like a reason to take a day off. (We set our own schedules). I hope I don’t NEED to take that day off due to a long line at the polls. I highly doubt that happens. That would suck. I have to work my full-time job, btw. So I dunno. A break would be nice, and I might make it next Tuesday. Stay tuned. 😉

*Good news!!! I’m making $465 for October’s work. Yay! I always said if I had a part-time job, I wanted to make a minimum of $300 a month because that is what I need so I accomplished that goal. I know Susie makes more by just breathing, but I’m not Susie.

So much going on this week. Therapy, vet and I’m having the professional photo taken on Saturday.

Gotta get back to my FT job. Bye!

BREAKING NEWS: I’m back. Adele also said “I’ll have no man telling me to shave my fuckin’ legs. Shave yours“. AMEN!

Yes, yes, yes!

Could’ve been all these things

The sheer amount of resources being spent right now by press trying to simply uncover whether or not I am pregnant (for the bajillionth time… but who’s counting) points to the perpetuation of this notion that women are somehow incomplete, unsuccessful, or unhappy if they’re not married with children.

I sort of went on a Twitter rant. Well, it was Jennifer Aniston’s fault. Thanks for saying what some of us have been saying for YEARS. Everyone doesn’t have to have kids. Everyone doesn’t have to get married. I think some people think because their life was empty before those things, that EVERYONE else must feel that way too. Um, we are all different.

I feel bad for the people who claim they had no meaning before kids. WTF were they doing? How empty were their lives? How sad. Some women (and men) live for their kids, and while they may judge me as pathetic, I think the same of them. Get a fucking life. It’s not that hard.

Stop living through your kids. That is not attractive. There are women who have lives outside of their kids, and I admire these women because that is not the norm.

Kids this, kids that. Do these people have anything else to talk about? Are they human?

Ignore me. I just had the most meaningless therapy session. (I would still go to therapy if I had kids so stop with that BS). She said nothing worthwhile. I said nothing worthwhile. Here’s hoping the next session in two weeks is better. Now, of course, my job offers ONLINE therapy sessions. If I had known that I would have done that before going back to my old therapist.

Oh well. I’m just waiting to hear back about the part time job.

I can’t believe the Republican convention is next week. That should be fun.

The whole “All lives matter” vs. “Black lives matter” is getting on my nerves. All lives matter…no shit. These people are missing the point of BLM. Who are we dealing with here? I don’t want to call anyone dumb. lol.

I’ve thought racist things. I’ve thought homophobic things. Why can I admit this but others can’t? Don’t call me racist or homophobic though. ROFL. I wouldn’t call most people that for their biases. I just want people to admit that they judge others based on race or whatever. People don’t even know what is in their own brains, or they just don’t admit it.

The Bobby Brown autobiography is so good. I’m almost done with it and I just started. It’s a page turner. I don’t understand why Johnny Gill is almost completely missing from the book. Maybe I’m confused about New Edition or something. I don’t know.

I’m just spouting random shit. Gotta go.

 

I guess we thought that’s just what humans do

JUST TO BE CLEAR: I think anyone who harms or kills their child should be punished. My point is that our society looks down on giving up kids for adoption. Giving a kid up for adoption (no matter the age) should be a viable option if a parent has reached the end of his or her rope for whatever reason. And no, this isn’t just about the ‘hot car death’. He may have had different motives like money.

Some news organizations are using the term child-free as if it is a bad thing. Perhaps they don’t know what it is. Being child-free is about making the choice to not have kids. It is not about killing your kids or abusing them once you already have them. I would sympathize with a person who told me that she/he had a kid and it wasn’t what they thought it would be. Haven’t we all made a bad choice before? Unfortunately sometimes that choice involves having a kid. I would tell that person to look into putting that kid up for adoption. It is the best thing for the parent and the child. (If it happens to be a white baby or toddler, the kid will be adopted in no time).

In our society giving away your child is probably one of the worst things you can do. I believe this is why so many people abuse and even murder their kids instead of putting them up for adoption. They know they will be judged harshly by their own family and random strangers. “Who doesn’t love their own kid”? etc. I wish people were more understanding. Not everyone is going to like being a parent. Yes it would be nice if everyone thought about whether they want kids before they had them. But then again…some people do think about it and they don’t know  parenting isn’t for them until it is too late. Also, in our society people are encouraged to have kids. If you don’t want them something must be wrong with you. (That is why child-free groups exist).

People need to stop pressuring people to have kids. Stop asking, “When am I going to have grandchildren”? (never!) Stop telling people they will change their mind or regret not having kids. Just because you want them, doesn’t mean everyone should have them. Stop telling people having a kid is the best thing you’ll ever do. ::eyeroll:: Maybe for you it is but some of us will pass. And that should be okay.

My two cents. Oh and I’ll link to this childfree article: Child-free by choice: How Cameron Diaz represents women like me I never thought I would relate to Cameron Diaz. This is off topic but I’ve always disliked her for some reason. I’ve never seen a movie she’s been in. #random

Turns out, she doesn’t want to be a mother at all. And, boom. That’s how Cameron Diaz became the patron saint of childless-by-choice women. Women like me. Women who don’t have children, don’t want to, and don’t see why that’s a problem for other people when it’s anything but a problem for us.

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I went to the yard sale yesterday. My yarn stash before the yard sale:

stash
stash

Here is what I brought at the yard sale:

yard sale yarn
yard sale yarn

I paid $15 for about 15 balls of yarn. I felt bad because two guys were looking at the yarn before I got there. I think they wanted it all but they didn’t want to pay $1 for each ball. Then I came along…I hope I didn’t mess everything up. I hope they didn’t drive a long way. Oh well. This is my last yard sale for a while.

Weekly

Music for the week: Ed Sheeran, Lucy Hale,  Jason Mraz, Robin Thicke,  Natalie Merchant, Heather Nova, Ellie Goulding, Miranda Lambert

TV for the week: World Cup, PLL, Big Brother, OITNB

Movie of the week: none

Books of the weekDie My Love by Kathryn Casey (true crime)

Knitting projects of the week: I had a knitting meltdown this week. :/ My purple lace scarf didn’t work out. I was 70% done!! Why do I get so far…….? AAH! It is very discouraging to make a mistake after getting so far.  But I didn’t give up, I started my lace scarf again:

lace scarf
lace scarf

It is made from baby yarn. I hope the colors don’t scream BABY. I’m going for “spring”. I love baby yarn because it is so soft but the colors…ick!

Here is my ribbed hat (sorry for the blurriness) :

hat
hat

I have a long way to go. I absolutely love this yarn. I also want a sweater and gloves with it.

I’m not in the swing of things

I’m mostly hibernating, working, doing school work and studying for the boards. That makes it hard to find things to blog about. I will blog about the board exam once I pass. Since I can’t blog about my current life, I thought I would do a “Found on the net” entry. I may do it once a week if I can find enough. Here is entry #1:

Ellen Page comes out. Most people have already seen this.If you haven’t this is a MUST WATCH.   Moving.

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It seems that the book All Joy and No Fun: The Paradox of Modern Parenthood by Jennifer Senior (on my to read list) has brought on a slew of articles. From parents to the childfree. Here are the two I found most interesting:

9 Reasons Not Having Kids is the Best Decision I Ever Made

I don’t need nine reasons to justify not having kids.  Although a few of her reasons are my reasons too. One of the things  she said that resonated with me is how the childfree probably take parenting too seriously. I agree. When I mention that I can’t afford to have kids, people look at me like I’ve grown a second head. But it’s the truth!…not that I would have kids even if I were comfortably middle class.

Parental Pity Party

This one is from a parent. He seems to think  the childfree have chosen the easy road. Way to pat yourself on the back. Anyhow, he is mostly talking about affluent people (parents and non-parents). Talk about “having it all”: affluent and childfree??! Where can I sign up? I only have one of those things down.  Oh, let me back up. I know “having it all” is a stupid saying. I know the blogger I follow with 6 kids and one on the way (!), would not agree that being childfree is “having it all”. People are different. People want different things out of life. Trust me even though it is obvious, I HAVE TO SAY THIS.

I know these articles irk some people by the comments they get but I find different perspectives interesting. Sometimes I feel like people with children want to throw the childfree and their articles off the roof. I’m not joking. Read the comments. Well to be fair, I must add that childfree people are sick of hearing about parenting and how much they sacrifice.  So it’s even, I guess.

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The Empowerment Elite Claims Feminism

I read this article because I’m a fan of the author (Jessica Valenti). Worth reading if you are interested in feminism.

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Girl crush time:

I just saw Mary Lambert’s video for “She Keeps Me Warm”. I’m in love with her. Not only can she sing, she is smoking hot. 😉 Love. Love. Love.

mary lambert
mary lambert

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Only 5 things found? Maybe I can do better or maybe this will be my last post like this.  I have to get back to studying. That’s my life.

All my single people, put your hands up!

I had water for about 12 hours. TWELVE hours. Now I’m without again. 😦 Woe is me. Those 12 hours were nice. I, like, totally turned on my faucet and water came out. I know, right? OMG. I got to take a nice hot shower too. The good old days.

I feel bad for the people in Atlanta. Imagine being stuck in your (cold) car on the highway for 20+ hours. (!!) Not good. Btw, we got about 3 inches of snow. Unexpected…or maybe I don’t watch enough local news.

——–

I didn’t watch much of the SOTU last night. But one thing got my attention on twitter. Two childfree folk said he said something about single, childfree folk. SAY WHAT? 🙂 Maybe I should have watched it. I get bored of watching the POTUS speak at these things after the 3rd year or so. Anyway, here is what he said:

There are other steps we can take to help families make ends meet, and few are more effective at reducing inequality and helping families pull themselves up through hard work than the Earned Income Tax Credit. Right now, it helps about half of all parents at some point. Think about that. It helps about half of all parents in America at some point in their lives.

But I agree with Republicans like Senator Rubio that it doesn’t do enough for single workers who don’t have kids. So let’s work together to strengthen the credit, reward work, help more Americans get ahead.

First things first: What is Rubio saying? He wants to give the Earned Income Tax Credit to single peeps? I seriously doubt that. LOL. I would love him forever if he did that though. Can we get something? Anything? Does anyone hear me? Oh right, no one cares. I wonder did that line get any applause? I doubt it.

The POTUS mentioned us. We must exist!!!! All I hear is “families” and “single mothers”. Oh and I’m beyond sick of hearing about the middle class. What about the working lower class?

And thanks so much Pres. Obama for not saying “childless”! Props. 🙂

———–

I did something nuts. I put $1400 on my credit card. All I can think is, what if my pipes burst (again)? I HATE DEBT. This wasn’t an easy decision but I kind of thought of it as an investment in my future. If I don’t end up making more money in the near future than ugh! I don’t want to think about it.

The money is for a “boot camp like” course to pass the boards. Yep, I’m taking two classes at once. At first I thought there was no way I was going to pass on the first try but now that I’ve invested in this boot camp? I expect to pass on the first try…

Here’s hoping. Was it the wrong decision? Did I fall for a marketing ploy? I admit it was impulsive and probably foolish. What if I don’t need boot camp? The issue is the person I know who has taken the test, has flunked more than 6 times! I don’t have unrealistic expectations. I know it is very hard. But I do kind of expect to pass. I’m definitely putting in the work. Foolish choice? maybe.

(Lots of questions in this post).

Sometimes I think my guinea pigs are worse than little kids…I swear. Don’t tell anyone with kids I just said that. They won’t stop banging stuff in their cages. And they don’t listen. 😉 Gotta go deal with them.

I just don’t love anymore

My pipe(s) burst! I had to take 1mg of klonopin to calm my nerves enough to call my landlord. The good news is that my pipe is now fixed. HOWEVER, if this happens again I am in deep shit. I can’t call him again. Sigh. I have to note that the phone call didn’t go bad. I typed out what I was going to say and then I read it to him. I added some “ummms” so it wouldn’t seem like I was reading.

Before all this happened, he sent all his tenants a letter stating that we are responsible for our pipes during the cold weather. I think I got away with it this time because he didn’t know for sure that the cold weather (polar vortex) caused it because I just called him yesterday…because that is when I saw all the water in the back yard.

Please no more cold weather. This house is very cold in the winter. My electric bill was $200 last month!!! I don’t make that kind of money! I’m paying my bills with my savings (and 401K).

Of course I’m going to do everything I can to make sure it won’t happen again. I thought I was doing a good job but now that I’ve read more about it I see I should be more careful even when it isn’t that cold at night.

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School is kicking my ass. I’m taking my two final classes. In May, I’ll get my certificate.  The problem is that I’m studying for the boards and trying to do schoolwork at the same time. Not working. OVERWHELM. I really shouldn’t be taking the boards in June and September because I’m not ready but it is better for me to take it before October. June is just a practice run. September is when all the pressure is on.

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What I’ve heard happens to other people, happened to me:

No kids? You have to have kids! Who is going to take care of you when you get older?

ROFL. That thinking is so old fashioned to me. But yes people still think that way. YOU MUST HAVE KIDS. Please stop with the getting old thing.

1.) Even if I had kids, I wouldn’t want to be a burden to them.

2.) No people with children can ever call the childfree selfish if one of the reasons they have kids is so they can have someone take care of them.

3.) Having kids is no guarantee you will have someone to take care of you. They could be busy with their own lives, or in jail, or not interested, or can’t afford to etc.

People. Sigh.