I donated my books to the library. Unfor…

I donated my books to the library. Unfortunately it didn’t make much of a dent. I added about 4-5 more books to this pile:

I hope they have another book drive soon.

I am reading Nothing to Declare: Memoirs of a Woman Traveling Alone by Mary Morris. She went to Mexico – to live – without ever having visited first. That’s my girl! 🙂 I don’t think I want to do that. She lived off of a writing grant in San Miguel. Btw, she did not live in the good parts of San Miguel. Mary lost electricity a lot and had an ant situation. I don’t know…I would want to visit various places first. I do admire her and her book is a page turner. I love escaping with it.

Some parts scare me. She describes what it takes.It leaves me thinking, “I’m not that”. I’m not going to let a book change my mind. I want to read everything.

I do think/know I have a life plan now. I am going to retire to somewhere in Central America. Yes that is a weird plan even to me. Where is the dream career/home? Oh and becoming a better person? blah blah.

I know this entry is “huh?” But I finally have an answer for “What do you want to do?” The answer is supposed to be job/family related. I want to travel/live in Central America. I’m not telling anyone.

I think knowing where I’m going is the end result. I can’t really retire until 30+ years. LOL! So I don’t really mean retire. I mean quit my American life. I won’t have a house, car, or job in the US.

This changes everything. I don’t have a dream job. I no longer have to look for one. It doesn’t exist for me. I’m not going to kill myself to find my dream house in the US.

Acceptance.

In my quest to get to Central America, I know I will find a place to live, a job and enlightenment. There is so much more I want to say but I have to keep killing my spirit in the meantime.

ROFL, I just found the perfect house in Mexico City! Of course it isn’t in the area I wanted to live. Interesting. It costs about $5000 more than my house. And you get a 1980 truck (haha) with it. As if I would drive in Mexico. I know a ton of tourist do. It is actually smart to do that but it would take me forever to drive in a new country. It is in better shape than my house. It has a garage. It is also beachfront (not a requirement for me at all, btw). I could get a better house for the same money minus the beachfront. That’s my plan. Wish I could buy it now. It’s actually perfect for a single person or as a vacation home for a couple.

Everything from this point on is supposed to be aligned with my final quest.

no sweet surrender

I am going to post pictures galore of my trip tomorrow. Well since this is an anonymous blog, there won’t be that many since I can’t most pics with me in them. Heh. I do have some I want to share. I don’t feel like getting them off my camera now and I want to rant anyway…

I was angry today when I found out my estranged dad (parents divorced when I was 11 – never really talked to him) is coming earlier than I thought. I have other things to do so now I have the clean a space for him. Without being too dramatic, everything is ruined. Ruined. Thanks. I hate being taken advantage of.

Maybe I’m not friendly because I don’t want friends? That seems so obvious. LOL. Genius! People who aren’t friendly, don’t want friends. That isn’t really true, of course. Some people are shy* etc. etc. But for me it’s like if I am friendly to someone than I have to do the social crap that I despise. And I don’t have the energy to even be what most people would want. I’m doing people a favor by not talking to them. I just wish they got it. Or knew…Hello? You aren’t missing out. I’m not that great. Get over me! 😉

*I’m shy, an introvert and a loner.

So I’m thinking of just being myself when my dad comes. I’m thinking about just being myself when my dad comes. I was that last time for the most part but sometimes I faked it. Not this time. I don’t enjoy humans in my space. At all. So BEWARE. I’m going to be ME.

Why don’t I have roommates? Because I wouldn’t do that to another human being. Having roommates/friends makes life easier. And I’m all about getting any edge I can get. I would love to save $$ on rent so I could save up for a trip to Central America.

I know I’m rambling. I know what I want to do with my life! I want to travel around Mexico and Central America. I want to take pictures, admire handmade crafts and visit the beaches. Work? What work?

This thing with my dad is pissing me off so much that a bank didn’t own “my house”, I would plan to be living in Panama in 3 years or less. Debt is slavery. Everything else I can see myself getting out of. Car? Sell it ASAP (if I were moving to another country that is). But this house…is such a nightmare. I’m stuck here. Even if the economy was normal, I would still owe a money to the bank if I could sell it. But that is the least of my problems. I’ll lose money. LOL. I don’t care about that.

This was supposed to be an angry rant but I took a nap and calmed down. Sorry.

On edit: Okay, my cat is bugging me. I’m ticked off again. Why don’t people get it? Everyone isn’t like you. There are people who LOVE living alone and the last thing they want is another human in their place. Alone does not = lonely. Study Buddhism. One of the things often said is that a person okay being alone is okay with him/herself. The people who constantly need someone??? Hmmmmmmmmmm….Anyhow, there are some people who really don’t desire companionship. Yes this is all targeted at the one person who will never read this.

Fearless

Not feeling fearless. “Fearless” by Taylor Swift was the last song I listened to yesterday. I can’t get it out of my head. I found out she has a new album coming out soon. Take a break and live chica! Back in the day (lol), we had to wait 3 years for an album. The younger the artist/singer, the quicker they pop the music out. Has anyone noticed that recently 75% of my blog titles have been song titles? NO! ;0) I need to update my music blog.
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Goals? What goals? Like I tweeted, I’ve been enjoying sports (college football and a little tennis) this weekend. I’ve also been reading Traveler’s Tool Kit: Mexico and Central America. I got it randomly from paperbackswap.com. If you believe in the universe and timing you know I’m thinking, “This is a sign!!” LOL. I have decided that Mexico will be the first place out of the USA I will visit. I want to go there before I go to the west coast. I want to go to Mexico within the next 3 years but it can’t interfere with school and getting certified.

So far the book is interesting but this is definitely not the only book to read on Mexico. One reason I love it because they encourage you to travel alone. 🙂 Since I’m a newbie to the traveling thing, I want it to be as painless as possible. Another thing about this book is they don’t sugar coat it. Traveling out of the country for the first time on your own (without travel agents also) is hard and requires a lot of planning. I am only going to one city and stay there. I think Chihuahua City is where I want to focus on. Keep it simple. Yep, I want to go on the Copper Canyon train ride.

I am seriously thinking that Central America is where I want to live/retire ASAP. Maybe Belize or Costa Rica. Not sure yet.

Speaking of traveling I’m going to the beach in 2 weeks! I would never go to the beach during hurricane season but my mom doesn’t seem to care. This is her trip. I hope the weather is nice. I haven’t even given it much thought but I should. What am I going to wear? heh.
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Back to reality. I’m supposed to be going places and uh, being amongst human beings. But isn’t work enough?? Who would want more after that? 😉 I dunno. I’m going to the post office to mail a book. I wanted to see the Pat Tillman story but it isn’t playing anywhere…not even at the indie theater. Weird. However, I could go see Get Low. It is a thriller. I love thrillers. I haven’t been to the movies in over a year. Hmm, start time is about a hour away so if I’m going, I should go.

Let’s go HOKIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!