Little bit of freedom

The test. I don’t know what to think. Sometimes I think I could’ve passed and sometimes I think I needed to take the test one time just to see what it consisted of.

I don’t know if I passed yet. The test proctor said we will find out on Wednesday (at the earliest). ROFL. Last time it took me more than 7 days to find out I passed. So I’m not counting on finding out on Wednesday. I would be SO HAPPY if I passed. And understanding if I didn’t.

I didn’t take the whole 6 hours. I took about 4 hours and 30 minutes. I kid you not. Should I have rechecked some of my answers? I was a bit uncomfortable with the seating arrangments. I did want to leave ASAP. It wasn’t set up like a normal classroom because they had a meeting the night before. It was impossible not to face someone. Like I said, it was uncomfortable.

If I have to take it again, I’m sure it will be like the first time. I was seated in the very back, and it wasn’t that strange (but I have changed a bit since 2014). Sigh. I don’t know what I’m even talking about.

I feel like I was very close to passing. No amount of extra studying could have saved me because this stuff wasn’t in the study guides. However, AFTER I took the test I knew what to search for, and I found resources on the internet, so I feel more confident about my chance next time.

Was I too nonchalant about the exam? Woulda, Coulda, Shoulda. Fuck. Well, I just have to wait now. I’m not very patient (understatement). If I do have to retest, I will do it on August 26. If I don’t pass then, I will have to pay $300 (!!!) for 2 more chances.

In other news, I did give the recruiter my phone number and email so she can contact me if she wants regarding the work at home position. I had to look up how much money I make (is that unusual?) just in case money comes up. I can’t take less because my rent is so high.

Maybe my next entry will be about my test score or a job interview. Oh god, just typing out “interview” makes me nervous. It’s not like I’m looking for a new job. I don’t currently hate my full-time job, but I would like a job using more of my skills.

Here is a pic of my sunflower as of today:


As you can see it isn’t fully bloomed. Sorry for the blurriness of the pic. I’m not good with this camera phone yet.

Today I read so much and watch Marianne Williamson lectures, and I didn’t have to worry about studying. I may have to get back to studying soon, but for now, I’m enjoying my free time.

Gonna be a diamond someday

My sunflower is about to bloom! I can see yellow! Next year I’m going to plant at least 6 miniature sunflowers. This year I only planted two (didn’t want to spend money on pots – lol). One of them was eaten by an animal very early on. I can’t wait to post pics of it very soon. I know everyone reading this is so excited! haha.

My certification exam is Saturday. Honestly, I didn’t study as much as I could have. But I also feel like there isn’t enough information to study. This exam is less than 3 years old. My mom is trying to make me feel bad about not studying…but how does she know how much I’m studying? She doesn’t live with me. We see each other about 3 times a month. We rarely talk on the phone. We do text at least once a day, but not about my daily schedule.

I think she has some issue going on and I can’t figure out. Maybe she’s jealous because I passed the last certification test (in 2014) on the first try and she took it more than 10 times and failed every time??? Anyway, I’m not really worried about it because I know this is a practice run. I feel confident (if it is not too hard) that I can pass it in August IF I fail tomorrow. I just need to know what’s on the test. Like I’ve said, a lot of people haven’t taken it so there isn’t much info out there.

I’m sick of my mom judging me anyway. She should focus on her own life. I told her she should study “A Course in Miracles.” Her response: Shouldn’t you be studying for your test? ROFL. She has no clue what Miracles is. I can only recommend things. It doesn’t take that long to do. I just get up earlier to work the Course. Whatever. I can’t make people change or want to change. Besides I’m too busy working on me to worry about her.

The test is 6 hours long. Most people don’t take a 10-minute break to eat something, but I am. Most people eat while taking the test, but I have issues eating around people. I’m going to leave the room and eat a peanut butter and jelly sandwich 😉 at the midway point. I did that with my first certification, and it worked! So I’m doing it again. Yes, I had a peanut butter and jelly sandwich last time too. I’m not superstitious. Peanut butter is good for the brain. 🙂

This week I…

Music of the week: Halsey, Kelly Clarkson, Ariana Grande, Shakira, Lea Michele, The Weeknd, Emeli Sande, George Michael

TV of the week: Bloodline, NBA Finals

I’ve said this before, but I don’t know what else to say about the show: Bloodline is good. So dark. Just wonderful and completely underrated. Too bad there are only 3 seasons of the show.  I was shocked to find out that this season is the final season. I’m rewatching season 2 right now. Can’t wait to start the final season.

I’m still conflicted over keeping Direct TV Now. I can live without cable. I’ve proven that. Isn’t it a waste of money to keep the service? I’ve had it for almost a week, and I’ve barely watched it. I don’t need TV to entertain myself. But I love the ID channel, MSNBC (sometimes) and sports so………………I don’t know what to do. I think I’m just going to cancel when it feels right. I just keep thinking about it like it is some huge decision. I need to get a grip.

Movie of the week: I started Me Before You earlier this week. I’m halfway through, and I haven’t finished it yet because the book started coming back to me. I remembered every little detail. I hate when that happens. I probably will finish it this weekend. I don’t like the main actress that much, but otherwise, the movie is okay.

Books of the week: I finished The Secrets of My Life by Caitlyn Jenner. It was a compelling read. I really enjoyed it, but I have a thing for transgender books. I loved Janet Mock’s book too (too lazy to link it).

I don’t think I’m going to finish  Shattered: Inside Hillary’s Doomed Campaign by Jonathan Allen and Amie Parnes. It is over 450 pages long! And once I read the beginning I got the point. *SPOILERS*. Hillary lost because she had no vision for her presidency (not breaking news) AND there was a lot of infighting within her group according to the author sources. She had no chance from the beginning. I really don’t need to read any more of the book.

Unless my part-time job starts back up very soon (doubtful), I’m going to focus on reading these 4 library books:

If anyone wants to help me read these before they expire, please let me know. 😉

Still reading: A Course in Miracles (for at least a year).

Planner update: Plans of the week in my Erin Condren


Plans for the Weekend: LOL. Um, I have this exam I have to take. Have I mentioned that recently? I didn’t mention that I got an inquiry about a work at home job doing the same thing I’m doing now. I looked her up, and she’s a legit recruiter for the company. I might respond to her. I doubt they’ll pay me more than I make now, but I might respond to her over the weekend. I will consider leaving my current job for more money.

Thanks for reading. Have a nice weekend!! 🙂


Can’t feel anything, when will I learn

Snarky! There are a lot of snarky people out there apparently. She said that I just got lucky with the board exam and that no employer wants to hire someone who barely passed. A pass is a pass. It’s not like your GPA where people ask how did you do. The exam is tough, if you passed you freaking passed!

I did get lucky. I worked my ass off too. Both can be true. I acknowledge my luck all the time. In fact, I probably give too much credit to luck in most cases. If she knew me, she would know that. She would also know that I’m very hard on myself. Of course I thought I failed. I think everything that has to do with me is going to be a disaster.

But I also thought the board exam was easier than I thought it would be. I thought “Is this what people think is the hardest thing in the world?” I was prepared for all the questions to be tough but I found myself marking answers quickly. That is another reason I thought I failed. It’s a tough test. Most people don’t pass the first time and I’m saying “it wasn’t that hard”. ??? I thought I must have done it wrong.

She’s right. I don’t know all the concepts and nuances. That is why everyday I’m working on doing real life work (for free) to gain skills. I know what I need to work on. I didn’t say I was smart or knew everything from passing the test. I just told other people how I passed. I will continue to tell others how I passed. Too bad it isn’t good enough for her.

I knew I knew enough to pass the test but I knew luck had to play into it too. And it did. I got 70% right and that is exactly what I needed to PASS. That is why I said I needed a miracle to pass.

Try to make me feel like shit if you want. But I passed…and that is all that matters my dear. 😉

I’m off tomorrow and we are having a board exam passing celebration dinner at Red Lobster. Oh, I only got a 70. Maybe I shouldn’t celebrate? Please.


The interview at the temp agency went fine. That is why I kind of like temp agencies. Their questions aren’t too hard. I almost LOL when she said I was articulate. Was she joking or what? ROFL. I looked at her to see if she was joking but she wrote it down as one of my skills even though I never mentioned it. hahahaha.

They should be almost finished with the background check. The only bad thing I have on my record is a voluntary foreclosure. They would have to check my credit for that and I’m not sure they did. I’m only looking for part-time work. I told her I could work nights, evenings and weekends. If I don’t hear something by next week, I will think they passed on me.

When I told her I just passed the boards, she got excited and wanted another resume immediately. So I don’t know if she will wait for jobs in that field or will I get something like a data entry job? I took a typing test. I did great on data entry and I type 50 WPM which was shocking to me because I thought I only did 20 WPM on the test. 50 WPM is pretty good but not excellent.

At this point as long as it isn’t a receptionist or customer service job, I don’t care if it is in my field. I just need a part-time job.

Gotta go. I’m trying to cram as much as I can in while I have free time. Once I start working two jobs, free time is out the window. I hope I have time to at least study. But things like leisure reading and knitting might have to go.

OMG! Totes!

I passed the board exam!!!!!!!!!!!11!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


OMG. Seriously. For real.

How annoying am I right now? heh. 🙂

I made exactly what I needed to pass. OMG. I do believe in miracles!

I celebrated by jumping up and down. I terrified my guinea pigs. Then I went back to mowing the lawn with Ellie Goulding’s “Anything Can Happen” on full blast.


Now I have to get CEUs (continuing education units) to maintain my certification.

And anything can happen…I have an interview at a temp agency tomorrow for part-time jobs. I’m nervous as fuck. Tomorrow? Why didn’t I try to get it on Wednesday so I could practice more? I was barely coherent when she called. It was embarrassing.

I’m worried she may try to get me customer service jobs because she mentioned that even though I applied for jobs in my industry. Oh no! That would not be good. I would probably try though……oh $%#@

Well I need to come down from all this excitement and work on job interview skills. The interview happens in 23 hours.

I’d rather die alive

I took the board exam yesterday. I wish I could feel like it’s over but it isn’t. I’m not certain that I failed….or passed. I would be shocked – SHOCKED- if I passed. It would be a miracle. But it is possible. I didn’t finish it. I did fill in every answer (no penalty for guessing). So I don’t know. I just have to wait for a few days.

My biggest mistake was how I started the exam. I spent the first hour going in order instead of answering the easier questions first. Eventually I realized if I wanted any chance of finishing, I’d better answer the quicker questions NOW. I also took about an 8 minute break halfway through. I don’t regret it but I definitely could have used that time. I haven’t sat for 6 hours straight since I took a bus to NYC about 8 years ago. During my break I ate a child sized peanut butter and jelly sandwich from Panera Bread. It was $4.99 (overpriced!…but tasty).

And now I wait. If I don’t pass, I’m thinking about taking it again in early September. Not sure. That seems so soon. Too soon.

There were panic moments but no panic attacks…thank Buddha. Before the test I was so anxious that I was nauseous. I couldn’t eat until I got to the testing center. The panic really scared me. Tears were running down my cheeks. I thought I wasn’t going to be able to take the test.

Two other things are really on my mind: Getting a part-time job & the work gathering on Thursday :/ I brought a job interview outfit today (have to spend money to make money) and I’m going to start studying for interviews this week. What fun. Here are my interview shoes:


I’m not a shoe person. Don’t get me wrong, I do like shoes. I would just rather not spend money on them but since I keep moving, I keep misplacing my dressy clothes and shoes. I’ve been wearing the same flats for about 4 years. I’m not kidding. Anyhow, I really like these shoes. I can walk in them!  To me those are high heels. I can’t walk in real high heels.

I ended up buying a black lacy dress instead of a suit:

little black dress?
little black dress?

I tried to avoid black at all costs but it is a cute dress and it isn’t all black.  I brought a nice shawl type thing to go with it. One interview outfit is all I need…hopefully. If only I could purchase the ability to talk coherently. That would be priceless.


Music for the week:  Jason Mraz, Sia, Ed Sheeran, Lucy Hale, Mary J. Blige, Emeli Sande, Colbie Cailliat, Ariana Grande

TV for the week:  Pretty Little Liars, Big Brother

Movie of the week: none

Books of the week:  Why Have Kids?: A New Mom Explores the Truth About Parenting and Happiness by Jessica Valenti  (This book is for parents. But I love Jessica so much that I’ll read anything she writes. I would recommend this to people who want to be parents. It isn’t warm & fuzzy like most parenting books. What shocked me the most so far is that in 2006, The Washington Post printed an article on how all women should prepare their bodies for motherhood. In 2006!!!??! I thought I read the year wrong….and the title of the newspaper. WTF? The book covers a lot. She talks about how kids don’t automatically bring happiness (obvious?). She also covers the political aspects of motherhood. I hope she has another book coming out soon). Mindfulness: An Eight-Week Plan for Finding Peace in a Frantic World by Mark Williams (only on week one).

I finally get to read for fun again…for now. I’m also browsing job interview books.

Knitting projects of the week: All I wanted to do this week was knit. I wanted to start so many things but I held myself back. Instead I worked on what I already had on the needles. Here is my scarf:


As you can see, I made a mistake on a row but this time I could sort of fix it instead of starting over.

I also made a mistake on my hat but I just kept knitting. That is my motto: Just Keep Knitting. 😉



I drop kick impossible

My dog doesn’t want to eat  much of any kind of dog food. 😦 She sometimes go through phases so I hope this is a phase.

I need a part-time job NOW. I needed one yesterday. My money – wait, what money? – is  near gone.  I have $107.42 in my checking account. Thanks to vet bills and paying to take the boards. I have been working on my resume. I’m trying to not apply for jobs this week because I want to see how the board exam goes on Saturday. If I don’t pass, I will be applying for anything that doesn’t involve much talking. How many jobs does that leave? None? Oh. If it is out there, I will find it. Most of the jobs I’m interested in are full time or only offer day hours. If I do pass, uh I still might need a random part-time job. My field doesn’t do evening hours that often. They are work at home positions (yay!) but those are rare for newbies like myself.

I think I can resist the urge to apply for jobs until after Saturday. 😉

Saturday = DOOMSDAY  day I take the board exam. It  is almost 6 hours long (!!) and 150 questions. I would love to pass. Pleasepleaseplease. But I know I don’t know everything. Some of it still looks like a foreign language. I’m not going to say I don’t know enough. If we had more time than 3 minutes per question, I would feel more confident. I will find out if I pass within 3 or 4 days of taking the test. Here’s hoping…….

I took 3 practice exams, including one this morning. I made (in order) a 66, 76 and 70. Ugh. According to a wise person, I shouldn’t take the real exam until I make an 85 on a practice exam. Oh well. I need a 70 to pass the real exam.


Music for the week: Sia, Ed Sheeran, Lucy Hale, Mariah Carey, Robin Thicke,  Lauren Alainia, Ingrid Michaelson, Miranda Lambert

2014 continues to be a great year for music.

TV for the week: World Cup, Pretty Little Liars, Big Brother

Movie of the week: none

Books of the weekDie My Love by Kathryn Casey, Mindfulness: An Eight-Week Plan for Finding Peace in a Frantic World by Mark Williams

Knitting projects of the week:  I didn’t spend a lot of time knitting this week. I  spent more time watching knitting videos and podcasts (while working) than actually knitting.  Here is my ribbed hat so far:



Lace scarf:


one  row lace scarf
one row lace scarf

I can do this pattern in my sleep now.  That is all I worked on this week. After the boards, I  want to start a sweater and shawl.