realize

How can I mentor someone else when I need mentoring? Is that a cop-out or reality? 😉 Okay, so I haven’t made it enough to mentor. HOWEVER, couldn’t I teach 5th graders math? I would prefer science but I don’t know what the options are. Oh, LOL. I’m forgetting about social anxiety. Okay back to my life.

Ignoring social anxiety and depression, committing to 2 hours a week of volunteer teaching is a lot. I’d also be in school, taking a very hard course. I know teaching takes prep. Sigh! I can’t ignore the depression!!! What if I fall into a funk? I’m pretty sure I would focus on the students more than on my school work. At least I would try.

Some people’s social anxiety disappears with older or younger people. I don’t think my SA disappears at all. But it is less around older people. Kids remind me of my school experience. As soon as I see them I worry. In a class of three, it could be different. I might be different. I might think, “This is my JOB”. I know I wouldn’t want to teach a class of 30. Just the thought of that makes me anxious.

I don’t know whether I’m going to pursue this. I don’t know everything they require. I will probably find out in a few days though. Just because I show interest, doesn’t mean I’ll get the opportunity to do it. The other volunteer opportunity revolved around dogs. It fell through. I visited the place and I knew the environment wasn’t for me. It was on a farm. I felt like a stranger on strange land and I was only there for 5-10 minutes. I got bad vibes. I managed to leave without talking to anyone.

I think I’m pretty realistic…versus ambitious. rofl. So I won’t get involved in something I know I will suck at. The problem is knowing what things entail. I do get in over my head sometimes.

Another example of this would be trying Bikram yoga. It is expensive but I keep thinking, “if Groupon or Living Social offers a coupon, I might bite”. I read about others experiences. They raved about it. I thought, “These people are different. They have discipline and are gluttons for punishment”. I’m half joking about the punishment thing but really who would want to do that I used to wonder??? I finally found a person who walked out of class more than once and almost fainted. This is the side I need to know about.

The authentic form of Bikram yoga originated with yogi Bikram Choudhury in 1974. Choudhury developed a series of 26 asanas to be performed in a particular sequence in a heated room of 80-105 degrees Fahrenheit. The classes are usually 90-minutes long and include specialized breathing exercises as well.

source – link above
I must confess that I’m curious. Half of me thinks it is just nuts to do this to myself. 😉 I am checking the coupon sites. I don’t know….I live on the humid east coast. I know what hot is. Today is over 100 by the way. I sort of wish I only knew the good parts of it but I like to know both sides. I’m half hoping that there isn’t a coupon so I don’t have to make a decision. Having to pay for my course next weeks helps me not want to do it.

Tomorrow is my last day of yoga at this particular studio. I’m taking my second Iyengar yoga class. I like iyengar yoga because it feels like a workout and isn’t all about breathing. I don’t know when yogalates starts at the other gym. It is the only yoga they offer. And it is affordable. I can’t find cheaper classes plus I get a discount. I’m working on the doctor note thing.