major fail

I want to say that just because you have a cell phone doesn’t mean you ANSWER IT or even turn it on. I have the cheapest possible plan. I don’t have a land line only because the line constantly went out so why bother? Anyhow, I usually shut down the cell phone at 4 or 5PM every day….except on Fridays. On Fridays I usually shut done at 1PM and don’t check my voice mail/texts until Monday around 9AM. Good luck getting in touch with me.

But people can’t grasp that concept. They think because you have a cell phone (or any phone) that you check your messages. NO. Unless I’m expecting a phone call, my cell is in my purse. I’m unavailable. I don’t even think about it. Maybe I should think more in a social way? Oh, stop being bitter. (<— talking to myself)

FUCK. I got a D or F in a class for the first time ever. I'm a A/B student. Long story short is that I turned in a blank test for the final. Yes, OMG! 😦 Even if I had checked my voice mail a little earlier, I don't think it would have helped. I sent her the test again. Less than 24 hours later…but guess who has two email addresses. FUCK!!!!!!!! I just replied to her. Apparently she doesn't check that email or something. Also I don't check my emails regularly unless I know something is coming. I'm a lost cause. I get distracted. Fuck.

Whatever. #Fail. Major. Over it.

(not really)

Tomorrow I will be at the flea market by 5:30 to sell. I'm more nervous than usual. I'm not used to selling mostly jewelry. The good thing is that it is eye catching so people will stop. I don't have to worry about that. Unfortunately it won't be that warm tomorrow so I may not be able to set up my jewelry displays due to wind but I'll try.

Sigh. And I only have one magic pill (abilify) until Thursday. Great. When should I take it? heh. Some random person who could be a doctor or just a knowledgeable person says Abilifiy lasts a week in your system. I hope that is true.

This is going to be a looooooong weekend. I hope the sell goes well.

what I cannot change

I really need to find my paper journal. This entry (minus the pictures) needs to go there. I know it is here somewhere. I refuse to buy a new one. I spent $20 on that journal! I’d never spent over $5.00 for a journal until I saw it in Barnes & Nobles. It is more than halfway full so I do need a new one. Yes I’m saying “need”. Writing is like therapy for me…listening to music falls into that class also.

ABILIIFY – Um, Hmm. I really want this to work. Being able to get up on the weekends rock! But for the past week, I have been getting up at 4AM. I’m not 100% sure this is due to the medication. I don’t go to bed at the same time every night so I think it is odd to get up at almost the exact same time every morning. 4:09AM. That is weird. I’m pretty sure someone is slamming their car door at that time. But what really is bad is that I was getting sooooooo tired at work. It was ridiculous. I can’t go in until 6AM so I would try to do homework, catch up on the news etc until 5AM.

That was not working. AT ALL. So last night I stopped taking the med at night. Guess what I didn’t set my alarm and woke up at 7AM. HOWEVER, there are other variables to consider. I finally turned my window unit AC on. That blocks out some outside noise. (I really miss that in the winter – I can hear everything when I don’t have my AC on). The other variable is that I took 1mg of Ativan before bed. I don’t buy that having that much of an effect. I don’t take it often but there is no way that very low dose knocked me out.

Tonight I’m skipping the Ativan. And I will start taking Abilify around noon everyday. I would like to take it before work but I’m worried that it will make me sleepy. I took it at noon today and couldn’t tell if it made me more tired. Like I’ve said before, I am always tired. Abilify just gets me up and moving more…especially around the house. It’s awesome but I have to sleep.

Sigh. Tonight will be another experiment.

What Abilify DOES NOT DO: It doesn’t do help me focus on school. Sure I have more energy but I made 3 brooches in two days. LOL. 😉 I will post pics of those later. I’m planning on selling this Sunday. Weather permitting. I’ve just started “making” brooches so as of right now, I have no plan to sell them this weekend.

I’m just bored with school. Or I can’t focus. Or I suck. I dunno. I have my midterms next week. One is on Tuesday morning. I also have a dentist appointment!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (on Tuesday) Yes exclamation points are necessary. I can’t believe I made the appointment.

I have noticed that I’m more normal. Sorry can’t say more social. That sounds like I’m making friends and stuff. But I have gone up to workers in the craft store and asked questions. I became a regular at the craft store for a week. That is something I would shy away from in the past. Going to the same store 3 times in one week…NEVER. But now I feel more ‘normal’. I even exchanged something. Normally, I would just live with it.

I was also more conversational on a phone call. Too bad it wasn’t work related. It was my own stuff. I don’t talk normally but to him, I sorta did! 🙂

I know I’m using the word “normal” a lot but when you are abnormal, you notice that there is a socially excepted way to be. There is a norm. No one is really normal, I guess. But I’ll show you abnormal. Nothing about my life at my age is the norm. Nothing.

I have to go. One last homework assignment is calling but I have some cool pics for you jewelry lovers:

Here are some polymer earrings. They look better in person. I would love to be able to make these one day but for now I’m focused on beading. Oh, yes these are mine. Not selling. 🙂

earrings

I’m debating on what to do with the following two pieces:

I’m thinking I will sell the above even though I wore it once and loved it. Both are these necklaces are made of resin.

Resin necklace

Anyone who wants the above will have to pay full price. I love these pieces. Gotta go.

Tryin’ My Best

Photos, photos, photos:

I got up early this morning to set up my selling display. At least I know what I’m up against. The table I have is so tiny and all my stuff isn’t here yet!

jewelry

I won’t be able to set all the jewelry out at once. I will probably have 4 of the best necklaces out there. And 12 rings. All the Avon will be out because I don’t have much. I just took these pics so I could remember what to put where when I’m really there. On the two big necklace stands I will have better looking necklaces but I don’t have them yet.

rings and things

The flea market doesn’t provide ANY tables. I brought that table for myself so I could have a better place to do my homework. (My cat took over my “office” 2 years ago…) So this is my only table. I might also use a cot if I can find it from last year’s sell. People don’t like bending down to look at jewelry. Noted. 😉

I plan on selling the day before Mother’s Day. I hope it doesn’t rain. And no wind would help…..
——————

Here is a big chunk of Demi Lovato’s 20/20 interview. I am mainly aware of Demi becuse of her anti-bullying campaign. I haven’t seen any of her movies. And “Sonny with a Chance” ??? How cheesy! It isn’t her fault or any of the other actors. After all it is a Disney show so what should I have expected? I do have a few of her songs and I will be buying her next album. A lot of her songs are about self doubt, relying on yourself etc. so of course I like her music. (She writes her own stuff).

I knew the bullying affecting her deeply. She never confirmed the eating disorder thing until recently but there were rumors. In a way, I’m sad for her. I’m not saying others should feel anything, this is how I feel. I’m also very angry. I’m pissed that people (well, kids – whatever) can ruin lives like that. Demi is a role model. She is only 18. I’ll say it, I look up to the girl! She has dealt with the bullying and now has more than one disorder. SIGH. Stop the bullying! I’ll stop before I get more pissed.

No, one more thing: Demi was fortunate to get inpatient help but what about these other kids? I worry about them.

PS: I’m not saying Demi isn’t happy and doing better now. She is strong, has a support system and has her youth (still!).

How I Roll

Now that I don’t have the Twitter announcement for each blog post, I may blog more. Or am I procrastinating? I am so behind on studying for school. I can’t wait for school to be over! And I may not go back…for this certificate. I’m sort of over it at the moment. Finals are in less than a month. I will cram like crazy.

It does make me sad that my lack of concentration and motivation is affecting me like never before. I love learning and this stuff isn’t as boring as economics. I hated econ. I had to take part I and II. Hated it.

Besides being excited for school to be OVER. I have been getting ready for my mother’s day flea market sale. I’m selling mostly jewelry. But I am also looking into other things. I don’t have much time. I don’t even have a date for the sale. Last year’s sale didn’t go quite as planned. The first Saturday I went it rained. So I got up at 5am for nothing. The next weekend it was so windy that none of my jewelry displays would stand. Ugh. However, the sale went okay.

Thinking of picking a date is making me nervous. I don’t have many options if I want to sell before Mother’s Day. I think I will have enough to sell for more than one day. Maybe I will sell every other month through September…if it isn’t to painful. I don’t know. Once a year is enough for me.

I will have a pics galore. It should be fun???

I went to Target during lunch. I was supposed to go to Kroger but I passed it and figured why not? I’m also sort of back into couponing or so I thought. OMG, I don’t have enough patience to look for certain brands. I HATE shopping (excluding music and books). The last thing I wanted to do was be in Target. I brought a box of Fiber One bars and got 60 cents off. Woofreakinhoo!

I was so exasperated. There was a baby in every aisle…with a mom, of course. And then I kept dropping the coupons all over the floor. 😉 I felt so lame walking around with coupons! But saving is smart. I only clip coupons for what I normally buy. I am not giving up on this. But from now on I will only use coupons at places I’m very familiar with.

Gotta go.