Don’t sell me no pipe dream

WTF? I felt like I went to the doctor for a cold and you know I don’t do that. I felt stupid, lame, and shocked after leaving the surgeon’s office. Both visits (to the shrink and the orthopedic surgeon) were a waste of time. The shrink visit was a waste due to my fault. More on that later. I’m more upset about the surgeon because it cost more and I was expecting an x-ray or something.

I do have carpal tunnel syndrome. No shit. All the doctor recommended I do is keep wearing the braces I bought from Amazon (!!) and sleep with my arms straight down.* Um, thanks. I waited over an hour for that. I didn’t mind the wait. I got a lot of reading done. Anyway, he did offer me a cortisone shot, but I said no because it isn’t affecting my sleep much. If at all.

*Sleeping with my arms straight down does help, but it is hard to do. Who can do that all night? Plus it is uncomfortable.

He also told me to come back if it got worse, so that is what I will do. I hope the braces help. So far they have been helping, but that isn’t a cure. He didn’t seem as concerned about the pain as the tingling. So I guess the tingling is a bigger deal. Well, I have a lot of that.

Um. Whatever? Next.

The shrink was a waste of time because I didn’t mention I wanted to get off Abilify because of the impulsive behavior. I just mentioned the cost. My fault. So I’m still on Abilify for now. According to my doctor, there is no generic Abilify substitute except for Wellbutrin and Effexor and I can’t take either one of those. I have enough Abilify to last until 2018. Blah.

GOOD NEWS: I finally got my Keurig coffee maker!!!111!!  I followed it on the internet from California on a FedEx truck. Isn’t it absurd that my coffee maker had to be driven 3,000 miles on a truck to get to me?  Maybe it’s just me.  Why don’t they have a distribution center in the middle of America? Most companies I deal with ship 2-day priority mail or they have something near the east coast.

Oh, what about the coffee maker? I’ve only used it once. I used a Starbucks pod (medium roast) for my first cup of coffee this morning. In the future, if I do buy pods, I will buy a type of dark roast. I drink my coffee black 95% of the time. Back to the coffee maker – I don’t like that it doesn’t keep the coffee in the mug warm after it brews. My $40 coffee maker kept it warm. It also doesn’t have a clock so I can program it to brew, but I rarely used that on my old coffee maker.

I’ve only had it for a day so I don’t really have a strong opinion on it yet. I just hope it was worth the money.

Depo-Provera update: No bleeding 9 days in a row! This is a miracle. Please let my period be over forever.

This week I…

Music of the week: Nelly Furtado, Shawn Mendes, Natalie Merchant, Demi Lovato, Joan Osborne, Kelly Clarkson, Miranda Lambert, Sam Smith

TV of the week: Big Brother, The Real Housewives of Orange County

They are doing a celebrity version of Big Brother this winter! I am going to watch it, but it worries me. Usually, when a reality show starts featuring celebrities, the “regular” show goes away. I don’t want my summer full of BB and normal people to go away.

Movie of the week: None

Books of the week: I finished reading Dead Man Walking: The Eyewitness Account Of The Death Penalty That Sparked a National Debate by Helen Prejean. 5 stars. I can’t believe the death penalty is still legal in THIRTY TWO states. Isn’t that fucked up? The death penalty disgusts me. The book is so glum. Great writing though.

Now reading:

Planner update: Plans of the week in my Erin Condren


Plans for the Weekend: Cleaning, working a little, school work and grocery shopping.  I made an 84 on test #2. Not my best work. It was harder than I thought it was going to be. I’m taking test #3 on Sunday morning. I’m not sure how much I’ll be working this weekend.

There’s going to be a pro-confederate rally 10 minutes from my house this weekend. Other than that, nothing is going on. Seriously I hope no one is hurt and I already feel bad for all the people living in that neighborhood. I would be worried about vandalism, noise and leaving my house.

Thanks for reading. Have a wonderful weekend! 🙂

A sermon to white and black America

A few quotes from Tears We Cannot Stop: A Sermon to White America by Michael Eric Dyson.

Too many yellow Negroes deny light privilege the way many of you deny white privilege. We are as blind to our perks as you are to yours…Too many light folk just don’t want to admit what we all know to be the case. And I’m not speaking of light guilt, our color-struck version of white guilt. I mean owning up to the benefits and advantages of being light-skinned. We make up the same reasons why we should be spared reckoning with shade and tone as you give for not addressing whiteness and privilege.

Nothing annoys me more (okay, slight exaggeration coming) then when people don’t acknowledge their privilege.

Our being color-struck isn’t the only sign that we’ve imitated whiteness. We’ve also emulated and adopted your coarse reactions to class and sexual identity. Many of us have joined the unfortunate assualt on gay folk…Although we deny it, the same kind of people who opposed interracial marriage oppose same same sex marriage too. Black folk have blindly followed a path of prejudice that earlier ended with us as victims.


….Poor whites seem to say, “At least there’s a  nigger beneath me.” And it’s a way for poor whites to be of value to richer whites, especially when poor whites agree that black folks are the soure of their trouble.

The truth hurts.

This book is good. Not great, but it is the best book Dyson has ever written, IMHO. I love that he made it personal. I could have typed out many more quotes, but these are the ones that stood out most to me.

went through hell to prove I’m not insane

I’m starting my #NoSpend NOW. It is a must, not a want. This will be hard for me because there is an item I want that will probably sell out within days or weeks. The release date is March 2nd. It isn’t even that expensive but no can do. (total cost without shipping is $59 for 3 things). I am testing my willpower. I hope it doesn’t sell out. lol. I will buy nothing other than groceries through March 31st.

I still don’t have water. THIS SUCKS! I can’t even blog about it. It just sucks. It was 50 degrees on Sunday. Did I get water for one second? NO. ugh. :/

I’m stepping out of my comfort zone soon. I’m recording at least one video (probably two) and uploading it to YouTube. Of course the videos will be all about my planners. I’m 90% done with my Kikki.K planner. I’m waiting on dividers from Finland*. Then I will be ready to record. I already did a practice video and it came out okay. It will probably be about 5 minutes long. I talk really fast and don’t want it to lag. The video would be 10 minutes for the average non-shy person.

(*Of course I have to have dividers from Finland.  I couldn’t find any I liked from the U.S).

This is huge for obvious reasons. I’m not showing my face. No reason for that. 😉  But I will be talking *gasp* and showing only my hands. I won’t embed the video on this blog because this blog is supposed to be anonymous but I will post pictures of my planner. And I’m sure some people already know my youtube handle so you can go there and see it.

My biggest fear is reading responses…and having to respond. How many rude people will post? Hopefully not many. These videos are VERY popular so I expect at least 200-500 views within a month. I’d rather get an “unlike” any day before I get a rude response. Once I get my dividers, I’ll be ready to record. I’m definitely excited to produce my very own youtube content. But I’m also scared.

The other video will be on my Plum Paper Planner. That planner isn’t ready. I have only been using it since Monday and I’m just figuring things out. I will probably be ready for a video on that in April…if the Kikki.K one doesn’t scare me into hiding!

Here is an example of the kind of video I would like to do:

It is just a flip through of the planner. It is amazing how many people love these videos. Her video has been up less than 2 months and has over 30,000 views!

I finished reading  Get Rich, Lucky Bitch!: Release Your Money Blocks and Live a First Class Life by Denise Duffield-Thomas. This book is for people who believe in the Universe and manifesting. Simple as that. I wouldn’t recommend it to people who aren’t into those things. There are plenty of other financial books for more um, practical people. Actually I consider myself a pragmatist BUT I have seen this stuff work in real life so how can I not believe?

She isn’t just about sitting around dreaming. She believes in doing. That is how she got where she is. But she also believes in manifesting your own luck. Check out her website. I’m definitely a lucky bitch or I’m trying to be one. 🙂

I’m feeling mummified

I rarely go on about books in this blog but  Leaving Time by Jodi Picoult is worth a few words. I know it is going to change lives….and it’s a fiction book! Hello?? I finished it today. I forgot what it feels like to just sit for two hours and read. Sad but true.

Back to the book. NO SPOILERS, btw. This book is a crash course on how animals are treated at circuses (horribly)  and zoos…and how the wonderful people at sanctuaries help out.  It makes you want to know more. I knew about the circus treatment before I read the book but what the book really sparked in me is how we (I) can help. I can donate money to wildlife sanctuaries, adopt an animal, speak out about it, or volunteer at a sanctuary (my dream). And don’t go to places where animals are mistreated.

I just love knowing that this book exists and that so many people will read it because it is by Jodi Picoult. Brilliant. I know some teenager is reading this book and it will change their life. He or she will decide to work in a sanctuary as a career.  (I’m not interested in working in one). I had no idea what this book was about before I checked it out. I just knew it was new and available so I grabbed it. Now that I’m done with the book, I’m trying to figure out which organization is the best to focus on. WWF? The wild animal sanctuary in Colorado? I’m going to start looking at places overseas.

Edit: I have to mention – The Elephant Sanctuary in Tennessee 

One more thing about the book: It is NOT about animal sanctuaries. I would say it is more of a human mystery with animals as a backdrop. It is an average book overall. I can’t really recommend reading it because it isn’t that good. Only the parts about the elephants kept me reading. Interested in wildlife but don’t want to start with something too heavy? Read this book. (Warning: There are somber parts. I had to skip some sections. Too sad. I wanted to cry).

Finishing that book is only a bit of what I did on my mini break…

I also went thrifting!! 🙂 🙂 I spent $31.56 and brought:

  • 2 pairs of jeans
  • 1 pair of khakis
  • 2 blouses
  • 1 turtleneck
  • 2 t-shirts
  • 3 sweaters

Not too bad. I usually have something in mind when I go thrifting but this time I was all over the place. T-shirts for the gym…I haven’t had “new” khakis in a while.. but I really need sweaters etc. So I spent about 30 minutes  in the thrift store and left with what I listed above. It was hard not buying books but I’m really trying to stay with ebooks when it comes to new purchases because they take up no space. obvs.

Here are some pics of my favorite items:


My absolute favorite find:


I only worked for about 30 minutes today. Score!…kinda? Back to the grind tomorrow. I’m excited about college basketball tonight. I should really go now. Bye.

Next stop, Vegas Please

I know I said I wouldn’t mention Vegas before officially booking it but…I did manage to get a whole week off in October so if I go, I’m going then. I found one inexpensive thing to do (dolphins) while there. And I’m getting free VIP tickets to a show and as long as I get to pick what type of show, I’m interested. I want to see a music act. I’ve seen Shania Twain in concert before but I would love to see her in Vegas! She happens to be playing the week I’m going.

The rest of this is knitting geekery. Full on geek mode. Only (beginning?) knitters would find this remotely interesting.

Thank Buddha for libraries.

knitting books
knitting books

(This doesn’t include the three knitting books I have on my Kindle). The library had quite a few knitting books but I only checked out the ones with good reviews on Amazon. I really just wanted books for newbies. I’m not even done with Knitting in Plain English: The Only Book a Knitter Will Ever Need but I would recommend a person purchase that book before going to a craft/yarn store. It is full of great material.

I may end up buying one of these books but for now, I’m just test driving. Anyhow, yes I got the knitting bug….at the wrong time!! I feel guilty because I should be studying for the boards. I AM studying for the boards but right now I am spending more time on knitting.

I don’t know where this knitting thing is going. I love the garter stitch. LOL – who doesn’t??
People say knitting is meditative and so far the only time I find myself meditating is when I’m doing the garter stitch.

So far I know how to do the knit stitch, purl stitch, cast on and bind off. I just started doing decreases. That wasn’t too bad but I messed up on increases with the scarf I am working on. 😦 All that time…I’m just going to keep going. I hate purling, btw.

I’m overwhelmed by how much there is to learn. I want to make thick shawls, cardigans, socks and handbags. ha. Who knew socks were hard to knit? I had no idea until I started researching everything.

I joined Raverly (THE internet knitting place). I even started printing out patterns of things I’m working on. I’m saving my yarn labels. I have a “project bag”. I just started a knitting board on Pinterest.

This entry is a mess. Knitting is overwhelming…but so far, worth it.

Floored by love

Today was a good day. 🙂


Sometimes I just want to scream “I’m not the one who made personal ‘blogging’ up! This is what people did. All kinds of people…it seemed like everyone was doing it.” And now no one does it. Well there are a few of us. (Hi!) I miss the online diaries days so much.  I miss the people. I miss the community. I hate calling this a blog.

Why are you talking about you? Who cares about you? Who are you? This is so funny to me. Hello? Anyway, now people just tweet, use instagram, and facebook INSTEAD of personal blogging. They are still doing the same thing but just in a cooler format.

Why am I ranting about this? I’m reading How to Blog for Profit (Without Selling Your Soul) by Ruth Soukup. I’m exactly 44% through. It is a great, informative, book but it isn’t what I’m trying to do. Reading this book just makes it clearer. I’m not a writer. I don’t have a desire to write a personal blog for an audience. That would be selling my soul.

However, I am interested in fan sites. I have done so many over the years (about 10). I had the first ever Aaliyah (RIP) fan site on the net. It wasn’t very good because I didn’t know what I was doing but I got so many hits. So…I enjoy doing fan sites and it takes a lot of time. Maybe I could get money for it? It isn’t easy for me to go out and get a part time job so why not treat the fan site as a part time job?

The domain I want is actually available. I’m in no rush because I think it will be there for a while. For now, I’m just going to update my fansite-ish blog on  I had stopped for a few months because the musician was too busy for me but I will slowly get back into it. And instead of a typical “fan site” which is more like a website than a blog,  I may just keep doing it in a blog format and see what happens.

My point is I’m glad I started reading this book. At first I was trying to think of ways I could blog for profit. I came up empty. I don’t do DIY projects. I don’t cook. I don’t have a profitable talent.  She doesn’t mention fan sites. I’m not sure why…..They get a lot of hits. People go there daily for news. But then again most people don’t do fan sites in a blog format. I’m going to do it though!

Perhaps I will dedicate one hour a day to my nonprofit fan site/blog and see what happens. Anyway, I am breaking all the how to blog for profit rules in this one post. LOL.

I would definitely recommend this book to people who want to make a profit out of blogging. It was written in 2013 so it is up to date.

Fuck You

Here is the truth: My mom and sister called me “fat”. A coworker called me Willy the Whale. I have no idea what that means. I can only guess it was a weight comment. I know I’m not fat. I’m average. I currently weigh anywhere from 133 to 137 lbs. I’m 5’4″. Average. I want to be normal in every way accept for my weight. Back on topic: Yes what they said was mean and I want to say “Fuck You”.

I was eating a lot of unhealthy things. I’m no longer doing those things. I will never be 105lbs again.  I was underweight for years. The doctor told me to drink Ensure. I never did. I later gained some weight because of Abilify but I can’t blame that for at least 10 pounds.

Anyway, I see it as a challenge to workout and eat healthy. I get obsessive about whatever I’m doing. Right now my obsession is eating wheat free among my regular obsessions. I’m not done with this topic.


Amazon is starting this great program in October. If you brought a print book from them, they will allow you to buy the Kindle edition for a low price.  Anywhere from free (!!) to $3.99. I can’t wait.  Do you know how many books I have brought from Amazon since 1998??! I just hope they have the books available that I brought. Most of my books are packed up and I’ve been pining for them. This is awesome! Please have my favorite books.

Update: I looked through all of my past Amazon orders. I brought mostly music from there. I forgot most of my books were brought used. There are about 10 print books I would love to have a Kindle version of. Mostly nonfiction.

The announcement of the new Kindle Fire HDX tablet makes me drool. I know I won’t be buying that.


Music for the week:  Maria Mena, Ja Rule,  John Mayer,  John Legend,  Keith Urban, Sheryl Crow, Jillette Johnson, Beyonce, Amanda Shires, Ariana Grande

(I keep up with what I listen to on

TV for the week: Breaking Bad, CSPAN, The Voice

Movies of the week: Django Unchained

Books of the weekBully: A True Story Of High School Revenge by Jim Schutze,  Five Days at Memorial Life and Death in a Storm-Ravaged Hospital by Sheri Fink

Goals for next week: I put up my closet rack last week. Now I have to hang all my clean clothes. I just need hangers. I looked up “dorm tours” on youtube and I’m totally inspired. (I don’t live in a dorm…) My messiest rooms are the living room and kitchen. I hate cleaning the kitchen. My goal is to make my living room more liveable since I spend a lot of time there. Hopefully I will have pics after I’m done.

Money moves everything

I’m sad today. It is usually such an exciting time: the beginning of college football. I saw people in the store so excited over the games even the cashier was talking about it. If you read my boycott or watch football post, you know I’m not joking about my sadness. After I posted that, I decided to boycott football. Just typing that entry made it clear to me that I can no longer watch the games. However, I will allow myself to watch highlights on Sportscenter until I’m completely over the sport. Right now I’m watching tennis. I love the US Open but it isn’t the same. 😦

I volunteered at the animal shelter yesterday. I walked the two sweetest dogs. I was feeling pretty good as I was leaving until I got this: “You quitting this early, huh?” – an animal shelter staffer. He was also walking dogs. Sigh. Fine I only stayed 30 minutes. (15 minutes for each dog). Without the treats, which were hidden in a back room, I wouldn’t have been able to get the dogs back in their kennel. I still suck at getting them in and out. The last thing I wanted to do was try a THIRD dog and press my luck.I did not want to tempt the gods. I am going back on the Friday after next and I will stay for an hour. I will walk 4 dogs. Hopefully that pleases everyone because I aim to please! 😉


I went book crazy in a totally bad way. I brought wheat/gluten free cookbooks.  Ugh.  I’m not a cooker. I didn’t grow up in a house where people cooked. I have tried this thing called cooking. I do not have a knack for it.  I have baked a little (cookies, muffins, cake…) but everything else I suck at. Cooking is a foreign language to me but I am determined to try. Wheat free is stricter than gluten free so I’m just using the gluten free cookbooks for ideas.  It’s not like I’m eating completely healthy though. I still eat baked potatoes, food with corn starch, and diet soda. GASP! Not soda??!

The books I foolishly brought were:

I also did what I wasn’t supposed to do. I went to Kroger and brought wheat free food. I know, I know. But seeing all the stuff I read about in my cookbooks on the shelves at Kroger…I had to buy some things. Shopping at Kroger was like shopping at Whole Foods or Trader Joe’s. Who knew? Anyhow I’m most excited about my wheat free pizza crusts. YAY! I know I’m supposed to make them from scratch but like I said, I’m not a cooker. I can’t wait to make pizza.

I also brought eggplant. WTF am I supposed to do with that? I have had eggplant parmesan before and I have always had this fascination with eggplant but I don’t know anything about how to prepare it. It is pretty though. 😉

Stay tuned. I will post anything I “cook”. Hopefully I will be able to make a pizza soon. I’m not sure I have all the ingredients.


Music for the week: John Mayer, Macklemore, The Civil Wars, Selena Gomez, Jillette Johnson, Sara Bareilles, Dia Frampton, Tara MacLean

TV for the week: Grey’s Anatomy, Big Brother 15, US Open

Movie of the week:  none

Books of the week: the cookbooks mentioned above, Gluten-Free Made Easy As 1,2,3: Essentials For Living A Gluten-Free Life by Angela McKeller, Learning to Bake Allergen-Free: A Crash Course for Busy Parents on Baking without Wheat, Gluten, Dairy, Eggs, Soy or Nuts by Colette Martin (not a parent but still may be helpful)

Goals for next week: Go to a yoga class. Clean the living room and kitchen. Enjoy Labor Day. Cook, cook, & cook.

family portrait

I’m browsing/reading about 5 books right now. I really wanted to do a post of my favorite quotes from these fab books but I can’t quite get it together. I was bad and brought 3 books from the Goodwill. One was Maybe Baby: 28 Writers Tell the Truth About Skepticism, Infertility, Baby Lust, Childlessness, Ambivalence, and How They Made the Biggest Decision of Their Lives. I’ve had that on my ‘to read’ list for years. It is a must read for childfree folk and for those trying to make a decision. I don’t know why some people call it childless. The word “less” implies the person wants children. I was ipadless. I wanted an ipad. People who don’t have pets and don’t want any are petFREE not petless.

One thing from the book really rings true: I believe that some childfree people were born that way. Yeah I used to think I might adopt one day (soooo not happening) but I’ve always known I would never have kids the “natural way”. No ticking clock or whatever it is called. I’m not meant to be a mom. I can’t say I’m not maternal. You should see me with animals. 😉 I even think babies and toddlers are cute from far away. I was born this way. Like Cary Tennis says in the book, it is like always knowing you’re gay. Some/Most people know from a young age. There is a certain part of the population not meant to be parents.

In hindsight, doesn’t the above seem obvious? Of course everyone isn’t meant to procreate!


I went to a different yoga class on Sunday at a new Y. Like. It was relaxing but also a good workout. I think our instructor was a substitute. I’m going again this Sunday. TMI alert: I have been out of commission for the past 3 days since I have my period so no gym for me. I was looking forward to trying water aerobics for the second time tomorrow but that is probably not happening.  I haven’t received my tax returns from last year yet…so as of right now the Y is only temporary. I have my returns from 2008, 2009 etc. but of course I can’t find the one from 2011. I only have until February 1. After that I would have to pay the highest rate.

I like the Y but I’m not in love because I haven’t been able to go. Well starting this Sunday, I will go 3 times a week. I need to release all this tension.

I have so much more I want to say but I’m not in a free place, maybe this weekend.




Spirit Indestructible

I’m going to be my own best friend

A week from today at this time I will be on my way to Mexico City or in Mexico waiting for my plane to Oaxaca, Mexico. HOPEFULLY. 😉 I’m in the process of packing everything I can. I’m pretty much backpacking in Oaxaca. I’m not taking anything extra. I’m only taking one extra outfit and I will have what I’m wearing. If they tell me I have to check my luggage, I will not be happy. (understatement). All I have is an almost kid sized suitcase and a laptop bag. I shouldn’t have to check anything. I will have to repack at the airport, if they won’t let me carry my stuff on.

All this talk of airports is making me nervous. I’m taking my Kindle yet I’m still taking at least 2 paperback books with me. I would take more but I’m “backpacking”. On my kindle I have The Oath: The Obama White House and the Supreme Court. My paperback book is a true crime book (my fave) – Fatal Vision. I also have 1 audio book: Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead by Brene Brown. Three nonfiction books. So much for reading more fiction books. I guess I’m just a nonfiction girl these days. Fatal Vision is 684 pages!!! I need that book on my kindle. I can’t believe I’m taking it but I need something fast paced to take on the plane. I am also taking one travel guide paperback book. I also have one travel guide on my kindle. That should be enough.

I’m sort of toying with the idea of booking a hotel. eeeek! I have a hostel booked (private room). I only had to put $15 down, I pay the other $139 when I get there. So if I go somewhere else I’m not really losing a lot. However, the hotel costs $220. That isn’t bad for 4 nights but I’m already nuts for going. When would be the right time to go? When I’m unemployed? When I have this much money or that much? When I have no debt? When I feel like I have job security? (ROFL). That is why I decided to seize this brief moment. People at my company are being laid off left and right. I was considering waiting until I get laid off but even that isn’t guaranteed. (NO I DO NOT WANT TO LOSE MY JOB!!! and no I have not gotten a layoff notice – Thank Buddha) If I had waited until I wasn’t working, I could’ve spent more than 3 1/4 days there. I did consider that.

I also think I won’t live past 50 so why not do what I want to do despite logic and money? Do it now. If I do live for a while, I am seriously thinking about retiring in Mexico (not Mexico City but Oaxaca or somewhere near there – there are so many wonderful cities there, hard to pick). This trip will have a lot to do with this decision. If I fall in love, I will start planning as soon as I get back. I’m not joking.

Hopefully I will be able to keep my job at least until my house is sold and I’m in a townhouse. Anyhow, I’m glad I’m taking this risky chance. It might backfire but I won’t know that before I go. 😉 At least I will have this experience. I’ve made major mistakes (like buying a house) and I didn’t know they were mistakes until years later. Some things I don’t know if they were mistakes or not (like going to my 3rd choice college when I could have gone to 2 others but I couldn’t afford them without high interest loans so I went with my 3rd choice). So who knows anything? Yeah, that pretty much sums up life. Or my life, at least.

I don’t think I’m booking a hotel even though it is in a prime location. Next time I go, I will stay there. For now a hostel makes more sense. Plus all the reviewers on trip advisor say it is more like a hotel than a hostel. That is why I picked it. Also the hostel has free wi-fi, the hotel has no wi-fi. But the hotel has an ironing board…..Okay, I’ll stop now. heh.


Due to my uncle having malignant cancer, my grandmother moved in temporarily. She has Alzheimer’s. Um, this has been a challenge to say the least. Remember I work at home so…yeah.  I really don’t know how caretakers of parents do it. It must be so exhausting. Anyhow, my situation could be worst so I’m thankful it isn’t. I had no idea this was going to happen. I do feel bad for being gone for 5 whole days next week. I won’t be any help. I feel bad that she is downstairs by herself when I’m upstairs working. I think she really wants to go back home. 😦 I feel so bad but I’m doing what I can. That is all I can do.