I hate Bank of America

I’ve been so freaking busy. I’m burned out. Sigh. And Bank of America is evil.

Other than that, things are going great. :/ I’m thinking about leaving my full-time job and working on my biz PLUS being a virtual assistant. I’m better behind the scenes. I want to work for other people’s business. I want to help them build it.

I don’t think I mentioned this here, but a month ago, I started volunteering at an animal shelter in New York. Yes, I work virtually. I answer customer inquiries on Instagram. It’s very easy. You know what the hardest thing is? Seeing all those dogs, I can’t adopt. 😦 I could never do this with a local animal shelter. Not that I can afford another dog. But it’s still tempting.

ANYWAY, if I had $3,000 in my emergency savings, I would quit my full-time job. I know 3K isn’t a lot. I think I have about $40 – $50 in my ER savings. Not sure. I don’t like to keep checking. So…not quitting now. January is always the most stressful time at my job. I’ve been working extra hours for free. However, I’m not working AT ALL this weekend. YAY!

I need to work on my biz. I’m launching a mini class on January 20th. Despite being tired as shit and having no energy. I would be thrilled if I made $100 from this launch, but I have no expectations.

I’m jumping all over the place. Ha. Okay. I want to quit my job and work for myself. The end.

Oh, and Bank of America truly sucks. I will go into more detail if they report me to collections. I was scammed! I filed a police report. I completed an affidavit. They don’t care. They want $900 by January 28. Guess what? I don’t have it. I’m 90% sure they will report me. I won’t be able to open a checking account elsewhere for FIVE YEARS. So that’s why I opened a new checking account this week.

That’s basically it. I won’t have more to say about that bank until after January 28th.

Doesn’t 2020 suck so far? My god. WTF? Hit the reset button.

This week I…

Music of the week: H.E.R, Alessia Cara, Ed Sheeran, Lake Street Drive, Ariana Grande, James Arthur, Lissie, Marren Morris

TV of the week:  This Is Us, RHoC

Podcasts of the week:  The Water Trio, So You Wanna Be a Witch, Crimelines, Dateline, True Crime Garage

Books of the week:

I finished Take Control of Your Life: How to Silence Fear and Win the Mental Game by Mel Robbins. A+ Five Stars. Whatevs.

Now reading –

Weekend Plans: I’m going grocery shopping tomorrow. My dad gave me money last time, so I got to buy turkey burgers and other things I haven’t been able to buy. I still have to do my grocery list. It’s going to be so warm this weekend. Yay! I’m not really taken advantage of it. Should I take my dog to the park on Sunday? Sigh. It depends on how far I get on stuff. My dog was so bad at the grooming place! I took him to a “bathing station” last weekend. It was $10. He was so scared. 😦 He was growling at the water and trying to eat it. I felt bad. But at least he got a bath!

I’ll try to blog weekly. Thanks for reading! Have a great weekend. 🙂


I walk alone

Um, shit has happened since I’ve done a real post.  I’m sure this is all standard stuff that happens to everyone. I was scammed out of $1,002, BUT I only had $100 in my checking account, so the bank wants the other $905! Needless to say, I don’t have it. I will call tomorrow to make sure they don’t really want the $4,500, which is really the total amount I was scammed out of.

However, only the $1000 check was cashed, so I doubt I have to pay the other $3,500, but I’m getting mixed messages. I can pay the bank back anywhere from $75 to $150 a month. Sigh. And these aren’t the only issues I’m having about money. I have to call TWO banks tomorrow.


I would be foolish not to ask for money if anyone has the resources and is feeling generous. So here’s my Paypal link if you want to donate. Thank you!


Work sucks because I didn’t meet my quota for December. Major bummer.  I’m off until Thursday. Right now, I’m more worried about money. So I spend 70% of my time worrying about money on my vacation. And the other 30% stressing about work.

I was invited to apply for a part-time job. Since it was an invite, I think there is a chance of an interview. I asked for $25 an hour. Should have asked for their minium, which was $20 per hour. Whatever. I hope I find something in January, so I can pay the bank back and other bills. :/

What I’m leaving behind in 2019 are payment plans. If I can’t afford the whole price, I’m not buying. That’s the most important thing I learned this year. Plus, they tack on a fee for people without resources. It’s funny people with money get a discount! What kind of sense does that make? Only in capitalism would people just accept this bullshit.

Well, that’s fine. I won’t be doing payment plans for anything except a house and a car.

2020 goals? I haven’t written them down yet, so this is my first take on them.

  • Make $12,000 in sales with my business
  • Take a Kundalini yoga class
  • Go on a vacay for my birthday
  • Make the goal at work
  • Have an organized space
  • Have a decent ER fund (probably $1,000)
  • Therapy at least 2x a month

These are the first things that come to mind. I have to break most of the goals into little tasks. Tomorrow I’m putting my headphones on and cleaning my space for an hour. I have astrology books everywhere. I don’t go to them as much as I used to, so they’re getting of my eyesight. I’ve never been this excited about organizing before. I already have a trash bag full. When I clean, I throw everything away. I’m not sentimental.

My birthday is in May. In May, I might have extra money BUT all the places I want to visit usually are booked by February. I’m not spending money in February unless I get a PT job soon. If I could book in April, I think a vacation might be possible. I’m looking in the $400 – $600 range for the whole vacation. Three nights. And my dog has to be able to go. I was planning four nights until all this crap happened.

I have therapy on Tuesday. FINALLY. I had to cancel all my other appointments. I had an appointment on Friday, but when I saw she had an opening on Tuesday, I grabbed that. I need help ASAP! I’m drowning.

This week I…

Music of the week: Ariana Grande, Robyn, Taylor Swift, Christina Aguilera, Mariah Carey, Rachel Platten, Beyonce, Kari Jobe

TV of the week:  This is Us

Podcasts of the week:  The Water Trio, So You Wanna Be a Witch, Crimelines, Dateline, True Crime Garage, Generation Why, Online Marketing Made Easy

Books of the week: I need to read new books! Anyway, currently reading:

Weekend Plans: I’m excited for the park with my dog. We’re supposed to be going tomorrow, but it might rain. So then we’ll go Tuesday. I’m also excited to finally clean and organize my space tomorrow. Other than that, I’m glad I don’t have to go to work until Thursday. Mostly I’m just working on stuff, so I can have $12,000 in sales by the end of 2020.

I’m going to work on an email for a collaboration I have coming up in January. I was going to take tonight off, and then I wondered what I would do? ROFL. So I blogged here, and now back to work

December entries pt 1

These are entries from my private journal…

November 24, 2019

Still bummed that N. hasn’t emailed back. Tempted to just use it because she did send it to me. If she isn’t coming to my website anymore, why the fuck should I care? She won’t know. This is my one chance to get a GOOD testimonial. Still thinking it through. Maybe I will temporarily use it. Then come to my senses.

So behind on the astrology class. Debating whether I should try to catch up or just take it again. Is it possible to catch up? Maybe I should dedicate Tuesdays and Thursdays to this class. Or all classes? It would be nice to not work on certain days.

November 25, 2019

I need to talk to myself. Lol. Um, I fucked up on Insta stories. But regarding S, it was inevitable that she would stop watching. So I kind of gave her permission to stop. I don’t blame her. But I feel some blame. No, a lot of blame. So now the questions are: Do I stop looking at S stories? And do how do I stop blaming myself?

It’s kind of revengeful to stop watching S stories. Not that she cares.

We thought we were punishing the other person by holding the resentment, but we have actually been suppressing love.”

I guess it’s love because it’s all love. Hope I didn’t scare potential customers away. That’s more important than S. Eek, but true. She would say the same which hurts.

Okay, I’m done for now

November 28, 2019

Today is Thanksgiving. To follow up on yesterday, S did look at my stories. I can tell she’s not as interested. She’s probably just trying to see if I’m screenshotting something from her group.

Good day overall. Going to the park tomorrow with Baylor. 🙂 Working on my Saturn Return workshop. Still trying to figure out webinar versus class. I think a webinar would sell more if I emphasize the Q&A. Will definitely prerecord the main parts. Ha! Just found out that hybrid webinars cost more. Bummer. But I’m thinking about running the webinar and answering the Q&As in the chat.

Gotta go. Glad S answered my question. WHY DO I THINK ABOUT HER SO MUCH?

December 1, 2019

Why not journal today. Fear is creeping up around money. Teachable didn’t pay me. Dad is here. He didn’t go to the store. He’s not going this week. Baylor has to go to the vet on Thursday for his checkup.

Was tempted to spend on a journaling course. So glad I didn’t. Things still tempt me. Sucks. Have to be conscious. Need to make money. I got two sales today with my Cyber Monday sale. Unfortunately, one is a tarot reading. I will try to record it on Wednesday.

I just hope Teachable pays me. They will probably get back to me tomorrow.

I need a morning routine. I just don’t want to get up earlier. Already get up too early. My dream is to get up at 7:30 or maybe 8.

Have to work on Saturn Return. Nervous about work.

December 5, 2019

Oh, you don’t want to know. LOL. Horrible? Baylor weighed 19 pounds as I thought. I told my mom she was lying and that she wouldn’t admit anything anyway. She got pissed. She said I don’t appreciate being called a liar. FUCK. Confrontation sucks, but I felt like I had to even though she’s not feeding Baylor now because he’s with me. (Dad is here).

I don’t know. I need to nap and do the reading a customer paid for.


I have a PT job!

…I think. Why are things so confusing. No, I signed the contract, so I have the job. The pay is what I want for a PT job. It wouldn’t do for a full-time job. For training, I only get paid $6 an hour! I don’t know how long the training will last. I will ask the manager tomorrow.

It’s a work from home job. Yay! I think tomorrow we have to order the equipment and software.

I can work whenever I want BUT training is supposed to take place at 8AM. I’m at my FT time job at that time.


The Colors are Golden

FUCK. I just lost the three paragraphs I typed. WordPress!!! Ugh. Moving on…

I’ve been walking 50 minutes a day to alleviate the symptoms of seasonal affective disorder AKA seasonal depression. AND to give my dog exercise. Anyway, I don’t think walking has helped much so far. I’m not really depressed. Thank god. But I can tell I have the winter blues. I will probably keep walking as long as it is over 30 degrees because my dog really likes it. However, he is a corgi mix, and they are known to have arthritis. 😦 So I don’t want that to flare up due to the cold weather. I have to be careful. There’s no way I’m walking by myself. I would feel SO guilty for not taking my dog.

I would buy one of those lamps that bring in fake sunlight. I do have a $15 promotion from Amazon, but the item must cost at least $30, and the lamp I want is only $28. So ugh. Not sure. If I feel horrible, I might just buy a lamp. But most days, I’m okay. It’s just a few days that suck. I know February is going to be tough because February always sucks. It’s so cold and blah. I will probably take off a few days during that month.

I just got back from the bank. I deposited $15.90 in the bank. Woohoo! 2.90 of that was in change (including 10 pennies). I was slightly embarrassed to have all that change. But if I found all my change it could have been worse. I can’t wait until I’m financially doing better which should be February or March. I just don’t want to have to count pennies for groceries. And I don’t want to have a negative bank balance ever again. That would be nice.

Election 2020: I’m sad that Kamala Harris dropped out even though I wasn’t going to vote for her in the primary. I’m really bummed that Julian Castro won’t be at the debate next week. There’s not much going on that I care about. I just hope Biden is not the nominee. Please! I’m begging America. He’s not mentally up to it. So nothing’s really changed. I’m still rooting for Elizabeth Warren. Oh, I’m surprised Yang made the debate, but Booker didn’t.

This week I…

Music of the week: Rachel Platten, Maggie Rogers, Ariana Grande, Mariah Carey, Carly Rae Jepsen, Bishop Briggs, Jussie Smollett, Pistol Annies

TV of the week:  Survivor, RHoP

Podcasts of the week:  So You Wanna Be a Witch, Crimelines, Cold, Dateline, True Crime Garage, Pod Save America, Tarot for the Wild Soul, Generation why,

Books of the week: I need to read new books! Anyway, currently reading:

Yes, I’m working on creating a Saturn Return workshop. It’s going to be released in January. It will cost $15 for just the workshop (and eBook). For all that plus a personalized written report, it will cost $30.

Weekend Plans: Working at my day job (for free) and on my workshop. What else? It’s been raining a lot, so probably not a lot of walking. I’m buying food for the next two weeks tomorrow. I’m going to be frugal.

Right now, I’m going to restart my computer because it’s running really slow. Thanks for reading. Have a nice week! 🙂

Private entries – November part I

October 28, 2019

O god. I just applied for a job at H.  Work at home. really want it, but there was an assessment. Ick. It wasn’t too bad, but lots of are you a loner type questions. LOL. I told them $18 was my minimum.

I’m worried about how astrology 101 is going. Why can’t I just let go? Because I feel like I scammed people by promising a transformation. I just want to teach astrology. I’m not sure I’m a good teacher. I might just make an astrology 101 eBook for $15.

Gotta go do stuff. Day one of no social media is okay. So weird with no Twitter.


October 29, 2019

Sigh. I was happy for a moment. I thought I didn’t have to pay taxes, but Teachable is going to send me a form, so I have to file it, right? Groan. Fuck. Fuck. Life could be so much simpler if I didn’t have to worry about that. Hmmm. To get a CPA or not? That is the question. Unfortunately, there are no easy answers. If I could talk to someone. I might have to ask the tax lady the question. Yeah, I’m definitely going to be there.

Listed more things on Etsy, since work was so easy. Tomorrow I have to mail the money to the landlord.

Whatevs. fuck

October 31, 2019

Ugh. Every entry is ugh. I feel a bit out of it for various reasons. It’s 80 degrees. Hot. Fuck. Don’t like that. D is acting like an a-hole, but not completely. She is the queen of passive-aggressive. I learn from the best or worst. Capricorns…ugh!

Trying to be positive. Listening to Gabby B. But it’s hard when you feel like your “baby” is shit. You know? Sigh. Oh vey. There is such a thing as too much optimism. Too much wanting to do that thing. I will somehow survive this. Yes, I will.

I’m obsessed with S seeing my story. I was on break for almost 4 full days! Now I’m back, and is S still there? What if she hates it? Why am I making so much of this? I probably moved down her list because I didn’t post for 4 days. But how do I know? I know one day she will stop and that will suck. STOP FREAKING OUT!

I think this heat is getting to me, and it’s “only” 80 degrees. I’m going to rerecord now. Bye!

November 1, 2019

Today was a roller coaster day. But I did take a secret walk with Baylor while listening to Gabby. That was nice. But I just want to be left alone, and I know I can’t be alone because that costs money.

S. just cemented that we have no friendship. I go from “What a bitch” to I get it. Sort of. Whatever. Boundaries. I cut the cord with her first. Just saying.

Sick of having to feel like I have to do this course, but I will try to have a good attitude tonight and move forward. I just want it to be GOOD and over!

The Miranda Lambert album is sooo good!

November 3, 2019

Well, I just signed up for business coaching with what’s her name. Honestly, I can’t remember. I’ll check my phone. L. $100 gone. But I pulled the 9 of pentacles, so there’s hope. I hope she helps. Not sure about the trade. If she trades for an audio reading, I’ll do it. If she wants live, probably not. Not happy about the 9 Pm time. I will now sign up for 7 her time. That’s 8 my time. Duh!

My astrology course is done for this week. I’m still going to rerecord the houses despite what everyone would probably say. Overwhelm town. Gotta go. I didn’t plan for the week.


Yes, this says November entries, despite most of these entries being from October. LOL. I’ll be posting more from my “private entries” because I post quick stuff over there instead of here.