I Want Simple Times

I have two things I am very excited about. But, of course, I am worried about how both things could go wrong—typical me.

The thing that made me smile this week is that my psychiatrist prescribed me Adderall. I wanted Vyvanse because my ex-therapist told me that would do wonders for me. Unfortunately, my doctor doesn’t want to deal with the health insurance company. Vyvanse isn’t even that expensive. I would pay for it.

Anyway, I haven’t started Adderall yet. It’s coming through the mail. I probably will have it by Thursday. I’ve been on meds for years. So why haven’t they worked? Uh, because maybe they were treating the wrong thing! I have ADHD first. Everything else is secondary.

What would it be like to be normal? I know the neurodiversity crowd doesn’t like the word ‘normal.’ They don’t want to be normal. I WANT TO BE FUCKING NORMAL. Okay, I don’t want to be boring. But the norms in the United States are based on people being ordinary. To work or make a living, it’s far easier to make money when you are normal.

The Adderall might not work. Some of the side effects are losing weight and GI issues. Well, I already have a severe GI issue. I’m underweight. I just want the med to work. My work is suffering. I have to work so hard to focus during the day.

I’m so thankful to my doctor. I was shocked when he said he treated ADHD! I asked him about eight years ago, and he said that he didn’t prescribe stimulants. So I assumed it was still valid. I’m glad I was wrong.

I’m too scattered to explain how ADHD affects me. Here is a chart that kind of explains what it’s like for me:

FWIW, I’m good at listening. I just can’t follow verbal directions. I need things written down.

Check back for updates on how Adderall works for me. I’m hoping for the best. Even if it works a little, I would consider that a win. I need less chaos.

I booked a 3 night/4 day trip to a private beach at the end of October!!! I’m working SO much. I can’t move, so I’m going to have a little fun. At this point, it will just be my dog and me.

I’m concerned that it might snow. But I looked it up, and it NEVER snows in October, but it’s the last week of October. So I’m still a little nervous. But, I can still get my money back up to October 13. So that makes me feel good in case something comes up.

The house is charming. It’s within walking distance of the beach. It’s going to be cool, so I won’t be spending much time there. I’m planning on spending most of my time in the house. You can see the beach from the windows and deck. That’s good enough for me.

I’m glad I could pay CASH for this trip—no more credit cards for me. Well, I have to have credit because that’s how America runs. But for now, I don’t use credit cards. Eventually, I might want to better my credit score, so I might buy furniture or something with credit. Anyway…

I’m leaving on October 27. Here are some pics of the vacation house.

This is where my dog and I will spend most of our time. I’m not going into the other bedrooms. See that desk? I will be using it. This is probably going to be a working vacation unless I can get everything done in advance.
How close the house is to the beach – walking distance.
The kitchen. I will probably bring prepared food with me, so that I won’t have to cook.
The deck.
The sunroom. It’s added on to the master bedroom where I will spend most of my time.
The living room. Probably will only stay here if I have DVDs. There’s a DVD player in this room.

My dog behaves pretty well but I want to be extra careful. So I’m mainly staying in the bedroom and sunroom. I’ll be watching my dog 24/7. He will go everywhere with me – whether he likes it or not. LOL.

This Week I…

Music of the week: Kacey Musgraves, Elle Varner, The Wreckers, Boyce Avenue, Lizzo, Mariah Carey, Caitlyn Smith, Danielle Bradbury

TV of the Week:  Big Brother, Housewives

I hope Tiffany wins BB. She has played the best game.

Podcasts of the Week: Dateline, Truth and Justice, True Crime Garage, What Should I Read Next?, Court Junkie, The Vanished,

Books of the Week: I finished reading The Comfort Book by Matt Haig – ★★★★ I love Matt Haig’s books. I think he is my current favorite author. I’m scared to Google him. What has he done wrong???

Goal for Next Week: I’m working 60 hours again next week. 🤯  BUMMER. My goals include doing good work, not getting overwhelmed and to not be so reactive. Adderall would probably help with all of that. ::crossing fingers::

Weekend Plans: The weekend is almost over. I worked most of yesterday. After I post this, I’m going to walk my dog, take a nap, eat dinner and work.

Thanks for reading. Have a great week! 🥰