Am I Dying?

This won’t be a long entry.

I weigh under 108 pounds. I’m losing weight so fast. I’m sick. I can’t eat. Gastroparesis is kicking my ass.

I don’t know what I’m going to do. Right now, I’m working my ass off. I might take unpaid leave (FMLA) if I have to. I might go to the hospital if a doctor tells me to go.

I’m on a two-week medicine for gastroparesis, but it’s not working. Monday is my last day on the medication. I’ll be glad to get off the medicine. What if that’s messing up my stomach more? It’s possible.

So some people think my organs are shutting down. (How dramatic!) Some people think I should do this or that. Whatever.

My dog is clinging to me. It’s like he knows how sick I am.

I haven’t canceled my birthday trip. I don’t think I would get any money back, so I probably won’t cancel. I might give them a heads up as a courtesy. I’m supposed to leave on May 17th for that. If it were today, I would still go even though I’m weak.

I should have some plans in place within a week. I don’t know.

Current Events: I am probably in the minority, but I don’t think the defense is doing a horrible job in the Derek Chauvin trial. I hope the jury isn’t falling for it, though. Plus, the defense hasn’t even started calling their witnesses.

This week I…

Music of the week: Taylor Swift, Ariana Grande, Joss Stone, Miranda Lambert, Yola, Caylee Hammack, Charlie Puth, Ellie Goulding

TV of the week:  Fatal Vows, Mrs. America

Podcasts of the week: Dateline, Truth and Justice, Undisclosed, Crime Junkie, Tara Brach, So You Wanna Be a Witch

Books of the Week: Finished reading (sorry – no links today)

The Midnight Library by Matt Haig – 5 Stars. I could relate so much to Nora. Perfect timing.

Murder of Innocence by James Patterson – 4 stars. Okay, if you like true crime. Nothing special.

Save the Date by Monica Murphy – 3.5 stars. Good book to read in a day if you’re sick. Otherwise, skip it.

Weekend Plans: TAXES. I’ve never paid so much taxes in my life. If I feel like walking, I may mail my self-employed taxes off this weekend since I can’t pay online yet. Next weekend I’m going back to working seven days a week UNLESS I go on FMLA. They are bringing back mandatory overtime. I might try to get a doctor’s note or something. I can barely work 40 hours for them. Seriously.

Thanks for reading. Have a great week. 🙂