What I Pretend to Be

I had another test for my mysterious illness. It was $200. What if it’s like everything else and shows nothing? I’m so sick of this. I’m sick of taking time off from work to go to the doctor. I’m sick of not being able to eat and drink most things. I’m sick of losing weight.

I should find out the test results next Friday. I hope the doctor finds something. Or I might have to get a colonoscopy. I am 100% against this. LOL. I’ll find out soon about this.

I’m listening to a class on taxes as I type this. Since I have a day job, I hope my business won’t make me owe taxes. Unfortunately, due to debt consolidation, I won’t be able to do my taxes until late March. I’m using Quickbooks and Turbo Tax for taxes this year. I forgot that there is a self-employment tax in addition to income taxes. AHHHH!

I want to make more money in my business this year, but I’m not looking forward to paying taxes.

About a week ago, I was excited for the first time in a while. I had something to look forward to. I was planning to quit my day job in 2024 and moving to Mexico. However, I’ve done all the research, and I won’t take my dog to Mexico.* I refuse. So I’m stuck in this shithole country. Bummer. But not for long. I will move to Mexico (probably Oaxaca City – but I’m not sure) one day.

*Mexico is not bad for dogs. Lots of people move to Mexico with their dogs. But I refuse to drive in Mexico for many reasons and I’m not doing the airplane thing with my dog.

So I’m back to living for nothing and hustling for nothing. I had to hustle this week, and I’m still not done. I’ve been working my ass off, and what do I have to show for it? NOTHING. This is too depressing to think about.

Nothing to see here. My physical and mental health suck. The end.

GOOD NEWS: My aunt was released from the hospital. She had COVID and stayed in the hospital for 3 weeks.

Current events: Oh, who cares? We get a new shitty president in a few days. Seriously, I will hate him less if he does a good vaccine rollout (and I think he will). But the other things he’s proposing? I just can’t. He’s going to be bad for progressives. The centrists will love him. Most of them probably don’t watch the news and think Nancy Pelosi is a good leader.

This week I…

Music of the week: Joss Stone, Ariana Grande, Taylor Swift, Ellie Goulding, Mariah Carey, Rachel Platten, Ed Sheeran, Ingrid Michaelson

TV of the week:  This is Us, The Crown

Podcasts of the week:  Dateline, So You Wanna Be a Witch, Truth and Justice, True Crime Garage, The Astrology Podcast

Books of the Week: This year I’ve decided I want to read more. Instead of working, I now take at least 45 minutes to read before bed. I hope I can keep this up. I’ve finished three books so far. I don’t normally read fiction, but I’m trying that too with mixed results.

I finished Lying Next to Me by Gregg Olson.  Fiction. 3.5 stars out of 5. It’s a thriller. It could have been better. If you’re bored and like thrillers, you’ll be okay with this book.

I finished Death’s Awakening (Eternal Sorrows Book 1) by Sarra Cannon Ummm. This is definitely not my usual genre. It has zombies. ROFL. It was okay. Another 3.5 stars out of 5. I might consider reading the next book, but I’m not sure. It’s not available at the library, so I would have to pay $4 for it. I enjoyed some of it, but I’m not really into fantasy.

Dear Martin by Nic Stone was my favorite read of 2021 (so far). Martin is Martin Luther King. The main character occasionally writes letters to him. The book is about racial justice…if I had to sum it up. It’s so good. It’s hard to explain what’s good about it. If you like social justice topics and fiction, you will probably love this book. I’m on the waitlist for book two of this series. Can’t wait.

I’m reading two more books, but I’ll mention them when I finish them.

Weekend Plans: WORKING. I will take Sunday off. I have nothing planned. I might get some reading done. I just want a week off to do nothing. That will probably never happen for me. I need stress relief. I’ll stop rambling and take my dog for a quick walk.

Thanks for reading. Have a good weekend/week. 🙂