Walk through fire

I don’t have much to say. I’ve worked 100 hours in two weeks for my full-time job in the past two weeks. That doesn’t count the hours of freelance work I’m doing.

I’m still sick. This sucks. I’m getting an endoscopy on September 14th at 6:30 AM. I have to pay a company about $150 because I have no one to sit with me who can drive. Woe is fucking me! What if I have to get a colonoscopy because the endoscopy doesn’t show anything? I’ll have to pay the $150 again. This doesn’t include the cost of the procedure which is probably 20% of the charge for me.

I hope I don’t have to get a colonoscopy. My uncle died from stage 4 colon cancer.

I’m not vomiting much anymore. But I still can’t eat much. I can eat at least once a day. I have stomach pain, nausea and light headaches.

Oh! This isn’t all. You thought that is all I had to bitch about? I WISH. I got a summons/warrent for credit card debt. Yipee! I’m not just dealing with working an insane amount and being really sick – I also have a court date. WOW. Someone really loves me.

I’m ignoring the summons for now. The court date isn’t until October 15. I could let them garnish my wages. Or I could try to come up with an agreement. This credit card company is supposed to be part of my debt consolidation, but the company didn’t take care of them yet. So guess who has to deal with it? ME. Not fucking Sally. ME.

Everything falls on ME. Don’t have a ride to your endoscopy? Cancel it or scramble around all week to find some stranger to take you. Exhausted? Sick? Who gives a shit. I’M going to work 50 hours a week (not counting my freelance work) for you. I did the right thing and enrolled in debt consolidation. Who got a summons? ME.

I don’t want to hear about fucking Sally and how she’s living through a pandemic. She doesn’t even have kids to homeschool. WHAT THE FUCK IS SHE LIVING THROUGH? Sally will be fine. She’s not sick. She might not even have to work for the man. She has housing. She has food. She doesn’t have a summons. She has people to take her to an endoscopy. Screw Sally!!

Okay, I have PTSD and the pandemic didn’t affect me that much because I can handle shit like this. Sally doesn’t have PTSD? SAY WHAT?

I’ll try to be nice to Sally because she’s living through the pandemic. Seriously, WTF? Add more to that plate Sally.

Did I just go on a rant? Yes.

I don’t want to talk about current events this week. Blah.

This week I…

Music of the week: Yola, Emily James, Ellie Goulding, Taylor Swift, Ariana Grande, James Arthur, Sounds of Blackness, Rachel Platten

TV of the week:  Big Brother, 13 Reasons Why

Podcasts of the week: Truth & Justice, Dateline, So You Wanna Be a Witch, Crimelines, Serial, Gone Cold, The Lowe Post

Books of the week: I finished reading Atomic Habits by James Clear. It’s a decent book if you really want to start a new habit.

Weekend Plans: Well, today is Sunday. I worked almost all day yesterday. Today is mostly a day off. I have a few freelance things to do. I just hope I don’t have to work 50 hours at my day job next week AGAIN. I know we will be forced to work at least 45 hours which is much better than 50 hours.

Thanks for reading. Have a great week.