I wanna make some mistakes



7 days until my cabin Getaway

I’ve been a bad, bad, girl. I ordered food delivery this week. 😦 It’s not only wasting money. It is also unhealthy. Not that all the food I’m eating at home is healthy since I’m trying to lower my grocery budget.

I need to stop worrying about my weight. I’m just used to being the thin girl. Prior to starting Abilify, people would come up to me to tell me how thin I was! It was weird. I think people wanted me to say thank you (??), but I didn’t always say it. Because is it really a compliment to be unnaturally thin? Is that something everyone should aspire to? Thin didn’t make me happy. Most of the time when I was underweight, I was severely depressed, so I know being thin has nothing to do with happiness.

I do miss my old body though. Sigh. Since I’m on Abilify and birth control, I don’t think I’m getting it back anytime soon. I don’t worry about it as much as I am self-conscious.

As Senate prepares to take up marijuana legislation, public views have moved steadily in favor of legalization. But significantly more Republicans say marijuana use should be illegal (55%) than legal (43%).

That’s very interesting. I’m surprised 43% of them say it should be legal because I know most Republicans don’t give a damn about mass incarceration. Hmmm. For me, it is mostly a racial and prison issue. I don’t think people should be locked up for marijuana. Plus blacks and whites use it on the same level, yet more blacks are locked up. I don’t think I would ever try marijuana even if it were legal. Why? Because I’m too damn old! LOL. I don’t want to mess up my remaining brain cells. I’m also worried about other side effects.  I’m not judging people who use it. I don’t care at all. It doesn’t affect me…unless a person is high behind the wheel of a car. Just like alcohol!

I would consider using it for my anxiety, but I’ve had bad reactions to other legal herbal stuff. I became very depressed for a few hours after trying something over the counter that people swear works for anxiety.  So I’m also scared to use marijuana because of that. Alcohol depresses me sometimes. But the last time I had alcohol (on my birthday in Asheville, NC a couple of years ago), I didn’t get depressed at all. I was also in a jacuzzi. Moving on…

One thing that bothers me about the possible legalization of marijuana everywhere (in the States) is that I found out that doesn’t automatically mean that the people in prison now for marijuana charges will go free. That might sound obvious, but I just assumed that their record would be wiped. How naive is that? I study the “justice” system. I should know better, but when someone pointed out that those people will still be in jail…I was thinking WTF??

Speaking of politics. I am supposed to vote in a primary on Tuesday, but I think I’m bailing. I don’t care who wins. Yay, for apathy. I will vote in November. I usually do vote in the primaries.  I vote for everything.  Anyway, this year I do like one candidate better than the other. One candidate (a white male Democrat) calls the lack of prison reform racist. Yes, he used the R word. The local woman doesn’t do that. She seems hesitant to take a hard stance on issues. I’m giving her a break because what if she’s thinking she has to hold back because she’s a female? Ugh. This is why I’m not voting. See everybody in November.

I did an update on my free tarot reading offer because I realized I’m going to have to do love readings and all that if I go with job option B. I can’t just focus on careers if I’m going to work for someone else. So now I need to practice on real and fake people for relationship questions. I’ve been focusing on career questions when I have been practicing. When I do my offers in the facebook groups, I will just say, “ask anything”. However, when I open my website, as of right now, I just want to focus on career questions.

I just discovered the best thing ever! I get 1TB of storage space on the cloud since I subscribe to Microsoft 365. I pay 6.95 a month for it, but it can be cheaper if it is paid annually. I’m backing up my stuff as I type. I’m so glad I don’t have to pay for another service. I knew I had space, but 1TB??!! Hello? Yay. 🙂

This week I…

Musi of the week (my top 8 most listened to): Janelle Monae, Justin Timberlake, Camila Cabello, Rachel Sage, Kate Rusby, Kanye West, Kacey Musgraves, The Weeknd

TV of the week: NBA playoffs, 13 Reasons Why

Movie of the week: none

Podcasts of the week: The Lowe Post, Septic, So You Wanna Be a Witch, Why is This Happening?

Books of the week: 

Now reading –

What the Truth Sounds Like: Robert. F Kennedy, James Baldwin, and Our Unfinished Conversation About Race in America by Michael Eric Dyson

Plans for the Weekend: I’m working overtime on Saturday. I was scared OT wasn’t going to be offered this month, but they finally asked. I don’t work OT every day even though I could starting this Saturday. That is my version of self-care. I would be so stressed. It’s not worth it even though I could use the extra money.

Not much going on this weekend. I need to pack everything I can. I still haven’t fully unpacked from Los Angeles!<

Thanks for reading. Have a great weekend! 🙂

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