I’m in a state of mind

I’m emotional for crazy reasons. I just canceled LeTote. I’ve been with them FOREVER. Ride or Die. On the days when I knew a package was coming, I would be so excited to get a Tote. How sad. Now it’s gone. Over. No more fun clothes and accessories. I keep thinking, “Now I have to wear what’s in my closet??!” Who does that? I told you the reason was nuts. But I have to be financially responsible. I have to cancel other things too. I just started with them because it was easy to cancel.

::sobs::

And the other reason is John McCain. I told you…nuts! I’ve admired him for years. Of course, it was tough when he was running against Obama for president. Those years I didn’t admire him as much. But I know politics, and he had to say certain things to try to get elected. I probably agree with him about 20% of the time. I’m a progressive and to agree with him that much says a lot.

Even though he recently voted for that tax bill, I will miss him. I have NEVER cared this much about a politician dying. Other celebrities? Sure. But not politicians. I’m sad for his family, for him and for DC politics. He will be greatly missed. Please don’t go. 😦

Awkward subject change time. Gabby Bernstein liked what I said in a survey, and she wants to use my words as a testimonial! Here’s the awkward thing: Her team asked me for a picture to use on their freaking website! I should have not responded or said no, but it’s Gabby, so I sent two pictures for them to choose from. They probably reached out to at least 50 people, so the chances of my pic being on her website are slim. Is this something to be happy about? I was so happy on Friday to read the email. “Gabby really liked your responses to the survey…” I’m just glad she liked my WORDS. I’ll see what happens. I wish I had better pics of myself. I sent one from me in Vegas and one from me in Asheville.

I did watch The Rachel Divide. Like I said below it is a documentary on Rachel Dolezal. I would recommend this movie to everyone! I have so much I want to say. SPOILERS are here. I learned so much about her. I wasn’t keeping up with her. She had a baby? She wrote a book? WHAT? I probably won’t read the book because I watched the documentary. The book didn’t sell well at all. Anyway, what a story this woman has.

I don’t know where to begin. If I grew up like her, I would have issues too. Rachel is no victim when it comes to the backlash she is dealing with now. However, her parents are crap. Oh, is that too harsh? Maybe. I don’t know their whole story. They outed her because of what she was about to say about their biological son and the sexual abuse. She was about to testify against him, so they called the media. They also physically and emotionally abused their kids. That isn’t coming from just Rachel. I wouldn’t believe it if it came from her.

I can’t figure out whether Rachel is a narcissist, a sociopath or neither. She seems so nice. She did admit she was born white on a talk show, but when she had the chance to clear it up with a huge audience on The Today Show, she didn’t. WTF? Sigh. She kind of pissed me off with that.

All this talk of being transracial. Um, I don’t think folks are going to go with that. Especially black people. Do white people even care that much? Due to white privilege, a white person can’t say I feel black, and therefore I am black. The person is missing the daily discrimination a black person deals with.

Yeah, race was made up by people. It’s not real. But racism is real. I’m only mad at Rachel for her LIES. Not just lies about being black, but maybe lying about hate crimes, etc. That’s why I think she’s a narcissist. Btw, she can’t just move from Spokane and start over due to her son’s custody deal. That sucks for her and her sons. I feel so bad for her teenage son. That poor kid. He has no friends. He is suffering. If I could shake Rachel and just say, “Think about your kids.” Not that she would listen.

I know I’m all over the place. I’m just typing things as they come to me. Oh, another thing that made me mad was her lying about the struggles she faced by being black. Um. Really? People didn’t provide specific examples of what she would say, but ugh.

To recap: Great documentary. She doesn’t seem to really get why she can’t say she’s black. She did admit to being born white. She just considers herself transracial sort of like transgender, but I hate comparing the two because I don’t really know if being transracial really exists. I believe it can exist. Sue me for being open-minded. However, Rachel was not born “transracial.” She had life experiences that led her to feel black. That isn’t how being transgender works. She wasn’t a 5-year-old saying “I’m black.” I’m not trying to be funny. I’m just explaining why the whole trans thing wouldn’t work for her IF it does exist.

I grew up thinking I was supposed to be of Mexican descent. I was obsessed with their culture. I’m not transracial. Besides, I grew out of that. I understand how one can appreciate the culture and not BE Mexican. I still love Mexico and blah, blah, blah.

One more thing: She is a great artist. If she doesn’t stop complaining about not being able to find a job in black studies and start selling her art!! You have to see her art. She is a phenomenal painter. Why does she have to work for a university? Has she ever heard of Etsy? Sell your prints, woman! Besides she is probably never going to get a job at any school. She has a bad reputation. She would need to get out of Spokane (even though it’s beautiful there) and that’s not currently an option. Sorry, I went on another tangent. I could talk about Rachel forever. She fascinates me.

Working overtime today so that probably means no park. Last summer, I wasn’t working OT, so I went to the park every day. Right now I need the money so my dog and exercise will have to suffer. Bye! 🙂

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