The Quiet

Well, I do have a little bit of good news. Update to my previous entry: I’m not bleeding anymore! 🙂 Of course, this could all be temporary. But I’ll take it for now.

In other news, the silence is deafening. No word on the full-time job. No more word on the part-time job. I know work will come with the PT job. I just have to be patient. The supervisor said the work would start last week or this week. It’s not just about patience. I’m worried that I’m going to be left out. I don’t have a lot of confidence when it comes to the PT job.

Like I said, I don’t expect an offer with the FT job, but can I at least get an email? A denial email? Anything? I can’t take the silence.

I’m not dealing with the silence well. I’m reckless with almost everything. And I feel like my spiritual practice is failing. I pray every morning. I meditate every morning, but I’m probably not doing it enough. I do A Course in Miracles every morning.

Clearly, I don’t have a good foundation. Or something. I need to rely on God or the Universe and stop being so reckless.

Don’t get me wrong, I do see the Universe working through me. (or with me?) I have examples. But I feel like I’m doing it wrong. Why do I eat more than I should sometimes? Why do I spend carelessly? Why do groups of people still scare me?

But hey, I’m not bleeding anymore!!! lol.

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