Still a little defensive

First I gotta say: I’m surprised so many women take any type of hormone-based birth control because of the side effects. It’s not just the side effects. It’s about putting hormones into the body.  I feel a little silly for taking it just to lessen my period. But I did it. It’s over. I had my first injection of Depo-Provera on Wednesday. I can’t take it back. I don’t have to get a second or third injection if I don’t want to.

Some women feel the side effects of DP immediately. The only side effect I’ve dealt with so far is a little soreness in my muscles. Nothing major. It is barely noticeable. Oh! First I have bad news to report – I am getting a pap smear in late April. WHY???! Ugh. It hurts so much.* I am going to ask do I have to get one annually since I’m not having sex. I did skip getting one in 2016.

*It doesn’t hurt non-virgins nearly as much as it hurts me. I’m not trying to scare anyone. This is just my experience.

So I’m bummed and terrified about having to get a pap smear. It will only be my 3rd one. Sucks to be me. 😦 Anyhow, I will get to see my OB/GYN when I go in April. YAY. I didn’t get to see her on Wednesday. Everyone at that office is so nice. I love them and would recommend them to anyone.

When I mentioned that I heard about Depo-Provera and the side effects, the nurse practitioner said the only side effect she knew of is weight gain. LIAR!!!!  Okay. Um. But I don’t want to gain weight. She said my weight was fine (WTF?) and that DP was better for me because I am pre-hypertensive. The pill could raise my BP. I’m hoping I don’t gain weight, but I am prepared for that side effect.

The main side effect that concerns me is the depression, of course. But I’m on an anti-depressant and Abilify, so I hope I’m fine. People also reported acne, hair loss, and mood swings. Those seem to be the most common side effects…along with the weight gain. I can deal with hair loss and moderate acne. I’m not going to like the weight gain, and I cannot deal with depression.

I’m going to be optimistic. I’m going to manifest good thoughts about my body and DP. (don’t laugh). All is going to be well.

While walking through the parking lot, I wanted to scream I’M ON BIRTH CONTROL! Yes, I’m very, very, very late. But a tiny part of me felt a little normal. And then I look at the rest of my life and nah, not normal.

P.S. The injection did not hurt AT ALL. I forgot to mention that.

This week I…

Music of the week:  Grace, Ingrid Michaelson, Cheyenne Kimball, Missy Higgins, Mariah Carey, A Tribe Called Quest, Halsey

Song of the week: Grace – How to Love Me (live)

TV of the week:  basketball, Homeland

Movie of the week: none

Books of the week: Reading  Tears We Cannot Stop: A Sermon to White America by Michael Eric Dyson and Gosnell: The Untold Story of America’s Most Prolific Serial Killer
Ann McElhinney

I just ordered The Universe has Your Back by Gabrielle Bernstein. I already read it a couple of months ago. It is so good! I knew I needed to own this book after I first started it.

Planner update: Plans in my Erin Condren Planner –


Plans for the Weekend: I will be out of the house almost all day on Saturday. I won’t get much studying done. Sunday morning I will study, and if I don’t do a lot of damage at the grocery store, I might go to Michaels. I have an awesome coupon, and I think I can get what I want for under $10. It is going to be 75 degrees on Sunday. Before the coupon, my goal was to study and then go outside and read on the porch with my dog. I might try to fit it all in.

The one thing I keep putting off is backing up my files. I have it in my planner for Saturday, but I doubt it happens. I just don’t feel a strong need to do it. Maybe I will just backup the stuff related to my certification. Everything else can wait.

Have a wonderful weekend. 🙂


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